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A pirate at the Chalet School - 19/09/08 update!
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=500
Author:  francesn [ Wed May 31, 2006 12:21 am ]
Post subject:  A pirate at the Chalet School - 19/09/08 update!
The first part of this was on the temporary board. Can some kind mod link it for me?

Part 1 (Elle with Mod Hat)

Of course, under the close supervision of Miss Richardson there would normally have been no chance of Calico rising to Annie’s challenge, but fate was it seemed, for once, on their side. Sarah Meredith, a quiet colourless girl, fell from a height of about two feet from the floor, landing on her wrist and jarring it. Miss Richardson decided that the wrist was best attended to by Matron so she bore Sarah off in the direction of that lady’s dominion after putting the rest of the class on their honour not to do anything stupid. Unfortunately for her what Calico considered stupid, or even dangerous, was not quite the view held by Miss Richardson and the rest of the staff. In fact her version of honour was somewhat different too. The pirate code and the schoolgirl code, whilst not entirely dissimilar, have some vital differences.

“Go on, Calico,” Annie goaded. “I bet you can’t do it.”

“That I can,” Calico retorted. “I done more than that in me time.”

“Prove it,” Annie said.

So Calico did.

…………………….

Unluckily for her Miss Richardson returned sooner than expected to find Calico swinging from rope to rope with a tie around her head completely obscuring her vision.

“Mary Kidd!” she bellowed.

Calico descended the rope elegantly, landing dead in front of the irate mistress and whipping the tie off neatly.

“Yes, ma’am,” she said smartly.

“You,” Miss Richardson choked, “will come with me. To Miss Annersley’s office. Now.”

Turning to the rest of the class she regarded them with disdain. “You silly little girls,” she pronounced icily. “Will stay here, sitting cross-legged on the floor, with your hands upon your heads, until I come to fetch you. And anyone who moves so much as an inch will be put on Head’s Report.”

The girls, unaccustomed to seeing the usually easygoing mistress so angry, immediately dropped to the floor, and there they stayed until they were recalled to Miss Richardson’s mind when she related the tale to Miss Annersley.
Author:  Róisín [ Wed May 31, 2006 12:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh brilliant! Can't wait to see what she does next. Will there be rum smuggled into the school I wonder :shock:
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed May 31, 2006 12:49 am ]
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Maybe she'll buy a parrot that swears? :lol:
Author:  KathrynW [ Wed May 31, 2006 12:56 am ]
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Hurrah for Fran's pirates!

Thank you :D

Kathryn
Author:  Mia [ Wed May 31, 2006 10:11 am ]
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*giggles* I'm glad this is back - ty
Author:  LizB [ Wed May 31, 2006 10:44 am ]
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Well done Calico! I'm sure that's a skill that might come in useful at some time and should be encouraged rather than punished :lol:
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jun 01, 2006 1:04 pm ]
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But will it all end in tears before bedtime? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks, Frances.
Author:  Fatima [ Thu Jun 01, 2006 2:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm so glad to see this back, thanks, Fran. What will she get up to next, I wonder.
Author:  francesn [ Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:05 pm ]
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As it turned out the coffee and cakes promised to Miss Ferrars and Miss Wilmot were only delayed until the afternoon but before then passed three of the strangest hours in Miss Annersley’s entire teaching career.

“Do you realise what honour means?”

“Aye,” Calico replied. “’Tis very important, it is.”

“So you understand why we encourage you to be honest and keep your word?”

“A dishonest p..man is predictable, but you can never tell when an honest man is going to do something stupid,” Calico offered.

“That’s not quite what I meant,” Miss Annersley said, gently massaging her temples. “We have rules here, to keep you safe. And we trust you, on your honour, to keep those rules.”

“Well I figured rules are more actual guidelines,” Calico mused. “I can see why silly land-lubbers might not be climbing ropes but I been climbing ropes like that in a high wind, with the seas tossing the ship ever since I could walk.”

“The rules apply to everyone, and they’re there to protect everyone,” Miss Annersley tried to explain. “What would have happened if you had fallen?” She shuddered at the thought.

“By the Powers! Me? Fall?” Calico scoffed. “I wouldn’t be fallin’, matey. Tisn’t me you should be talking to anyway.”

“Oh?” Miss Annersley said, deceptively lightly.

“Aye. Tis Annie you should be asking to explain herself,” Calico replied nonchalantly.

“We don’t like girls who shift the blame here,” Miss Annersley said coldly.

“Oh I ain’t tryin’ to shift the blame!” Calico said cheerfully, seeming impervious to the chill in Miss Annersley’s voice. “See you have a funny idea of honour here, you do. Annie challenged me that I couldn’t do it and my honour,” she stressed the words. “My honour wouldn’t let me refuse.”

“Well I think you’ll find the schoolgirls code and their idea of honour is a little different to what you might expect,” Miss Annersley said gently.
Author:  Róisín [ Thu Jun 01, 2006 8:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
francesn wrote:
“Well I figured rules are more actual guidelines,” Calico mused.


Holding my sides laughing here... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  LizB [ Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:58 am ]
Post subject: 
francesn wrote:
“A dishonest p..man is predictable, but you can never tell when an honest man is going to do something stupid,” Calico offered.

love it! :lol:

I think Calico's point about honour is a very good one!
Author:  Lyanne [ Sat Jun 03, 2006 9:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
“We don’t like girls who shift the blame here,” Miss Annersley said coldly.

“Oh I ain’t tryin’ to shift the blame!” Calico said cheerfully, seeming impervious to the chill in Miss Annersley’s voice. “See you have a funny idea of honour here, you do. Annie challenged me that I couldn’t do it and my honour,” she stressed the words. “My honour wouldn’t let me refuse.”

Oh, I see! If Miss A had asked her why she did it, & dragged Annie's name out of her, it would be all right. But because Calico told her, Miss A will ignore it.
Author:  Mary [ Tue Jun 06, 2006 10:16 pm ]
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This is AMAZING!!! Seriously. A pirate! Makes me want to go download Puzzle Pirates again. Now that is fun...
Author:  Chair [ Sat Jun 10, 2006 1:12 pm ]
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Thanks, Fran. It's great to see Calico calling Miss Annersley 'Matey'!
Author:  Tiffany [ Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:48 pm ]
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Yay for the pirate! *looks for ropes to climb*
Author:  Josie [ Thu Jun 15, 2006 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
lol - finally caught up with this again. Love the way she speaks to Miss Annersley!

Thanks Fran, this is hilarious.
Author:  francesn [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Further reasoning failed to convince Calico that she was in the wrong. She maintained that she was not at fault. Calico was sent to Matron to hem sheets in the hope the punishment would bring her to her senses.

“Ahhh, Mary,” Matron said, her voice a little chilly as Calico entered the room. She disliked having pupils sent to her to hem sheets, for all that it was a favourite punishment at the Chalet School.

“Arrrr, matey,” Calico said. “What will ye have me doin’ then? Swabbing the decks?”

“You forget yourself, Mary,” Matron said frostily. “My name is Matron Lloyd, not ‘matey’.” Little did Calico know that only a favoured few were permitted to call her ‘Matey’.

“As you say, me hearty,” Calico replied cheerfully. “Which decks will ye have me swabbin’ then?”

“Miss Annersley has sent you to me to hem sheets,” Matron sighed, indicating a pile with her hand. “I shall be in the next room.”

She bustled out leaving Calico staring at the sheets in confusion. Rummaging in her pockets she pulled out a length of stout twine and an evil looking metal object. Taking a sheet into her hand she set to work.
Author:  Fatima [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:13 pm ]
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Somehow I don't think Matey is going to be overly impressed with Calico's sewing skills!

Thanks, Fran, it's great to see more of this.
Author:  Eilidh [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:15 pm ]
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Thanks Fran.
Author:  leahbelle [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:46 pm ]
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I love the way Calico says "Arrr, matey". Hysterical!
Author:  Joyful [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:01 pm ]
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On the other hand she could be an expert at sewing from mending sails ...

Thank Fran :)
Author:  Chair [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:57 pm ]
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Thanks, Fran. I wonder what Calico will do to the sheet.
Author:  Mia [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:01 pm ]
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Lovelovelove this, thank you Fran! :)
Author:  aitchemelle [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:16 pm ]
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Thank you lufly shiny Frananconda x
Author:  Alison H [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
I loved the "Matey" bit :lol: :lol: !
Author:  Phil [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is cool. I love the Argh Matey bits. For some strange reason I am starting to think about Captain Birdseye, Captain Pugwash and Johnny Depp.

I think I had better stop. :!:

Please carry on with the Pirates. :)
Author:  Nic [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
heheee i can only begin to imagine whats gonna happen to those sheets, and how the heck has she managed to get away with keeping this metal object with her anyway?! looking forward to more of this one, keep it coming!!! :D
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jul 13, 2006 9:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
The mind boggles at what she could dream up with those things! :lol:

Thanks, Frances.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri Jul 14, 2006 1:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Loved the "Arrr, matey"!! And presumably she has had experience in mnding sails?
Author:  Fatima [ Fri Jul 14, 2006 4:27 am ]
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But do you mend sails with the neat and dainty stitches that Matey likes?!
Author:  Elle [ Fri Jul 14, 2006 7:45 am ]
Post subject: 
*splutters*


Wonderful, thank you.
Author:  brie [ Fri Jul 14, 2006 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
im in absolute hysterics... :lol: :P :lol:
Author:  francesn [ Sun Jul 16, 2006 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Matron returned an hour later to find Calico hard at work. She nodded to herself and, turning on her heel, left.

Calico continued at her work until Mitagessen when Matron sent her to the Splasheries to tidy up before going to the Speisaal. She then cast a cursory glance over Calico’s work. She was about to leave it and go to Mitagessen herself when something caught her eye.

The stitches were unusual. And it did not seem to be cotton that Calico had used. It was some kind of coarser thread. The sheets seemed bigger than they had been. Matron took hold of the edge of one of them and shook it out. Her lips pressed tightly together into a straight line.

Ten minutes later Calico, accompanied by Miss Annersley, stood in Matron’s room, explaining her actions.

“Well I don’t know how to hem sheets, but I do know how to make sails,” she said.

“Sails?” Miss Annersley repeated blankly. “But why?”

“Like I said – no use for sheets. But sails? Arrrrr now they’re useful things, they are.”
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sun Jul 16, 2006 11:30 pm ]
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Choke, splutter....very funny Frances. Loved the comment that sails are useful.
Author:  Chair [ Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:12 am ]
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Thanks, Fran. I hadn't guessed that she was making sails!
Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:41 am ]
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*giggles a lot*
Author:  Josie [ Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:13 pm ]
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Great to see this back, Fran.
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Jul 19, 2006 12:26 pm ]
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Just choked over my coffee! Sails...... of course. :lol: And I should think that explanation will leave them dumbstruck.

Thanks, Frances
Author:  LizB [ Sat Jul 29, 2006 2:00 pm ]
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Fantastic! What next?

Thanks, Fran
Author:  francesn [ Sat Jul 29, 2006 7:03 pm ]
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“I don’t think we can keep her, Gwyneth,” Miss Annersely sighed once they were ensconced in her office. “I have to admit I don’t know how to handle her. I hate giving up on pupils but…..”

“Hilda, you’re being too hard on yourself,” Gwyneth Lloyd said. “Although I think you made a mistake not telling Nancy and Kathie.”

“I was going to tell them,” Hilda said defensively. “This morning in fact.”

“You should have told them earlier,” Gwyneth chided gently. “Does Joey know?”

“Yes….” Hilda said. “She’s the reason Calico came to us. There were difficulties at home, and her family thought boarding school would be better for her.”

“Do any of Joey’s girls know?”

“No, I told her to keep it quiet,” Hilda sighed. “I thought it was better if no-one knew who she was.”

“And I’m sure that is the case for the girls,” Gwyneth said. “But you must tell the staff.”

“But what do we do with Calico in the meantime?” Hilda asked.

“Send her back to class,” Gwyneth said practically. “She broke the rules in gym, she knows it and she’s been punished.”

“We’ve never had a girl like her before,” Hilda frowned. “But you’re right, as always, Gwyneth. Mary shall go back to school and I tell the staff tonight.”
Author:  Alison H [ Sat Jul 29, 2006 7:39 pm ]
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Intrigued now ... and very impressed that Joey has actually kept quiet!!
Author:  Tan [ Sat Jul 29, 2006 8:06 pm ]
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I'm intrigued as well ... looking forward to reading more Fran!
Author:  leahbelle [ Sat Jul 29, 2006 9:27 pm ]
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Another one who's intrigued!
Author:  LizB [ Sat Jul 29, 2006 9:45 pm ]
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told them what????

More, pretty please, Fran *smiles sweetly*
Author:  Tara [ Sat Jul 29, 2006 11:23 pm ]
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Echoes LizB in every respect!
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
The mind boggles. :shock: Just who is she?

Thanks, Frances
Author:  francesn [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
I apologise for I am bad and norty and don't update my drabbles. I really ought to just send a word doc of what I've written to some willing minion who gets online more often than moi....but hey ho, some more

Calico was sent back into school in the afternoon, hailed as a heroine by half the class and regarded with disdain by the others. She contrived to behave herself all afternoon and declined to say anything when the others mobbed her at Kaffee and Kuchen.

Throughout prep she worked industriously, although had the prefect been observant enough she would have noticed that Calico only opened one book, and spent a long time writing on a single piece of paper, seemingly colouring it in. Since most of the class had a map to do for geography homework the prefect thought nothing of it.

Prep over, the form congregated in their common room. Some chose to read, some did jigsaw puzzles, some merely sat by the stove and chattered away like magpies. Calico walked towards the stove where Annie Barber was holding court with a select coterie. Casually she flipped a folded up bit of paper Annie’s shoulder

“What’s that?” Annie said, her tone disdainful. She hastily unfolded the bit of paper. “THE BLACK SPOT. What do you mean Calico?”

“You’ve been tipped with the Black Spot, Annie Barber,” Calico said. “And that means you’ve been marked.”
Author:  Alison H [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I get the feeling Annie should be very worried about that!
Author:  Kathy_S [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Annie's in trouble! Or possibly Calico will be.

*still waiting for C. to use the nautical definition of "sheet" on Matey.* :lol:
Author:  Mia [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Yay, thank you Fran!
Author:  LizB [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:08 pm ]
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Oooooh! shiver my timbers but there's trouble ahoy! :lol:

Thanks, Fran
Author:  brie [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
yay! this drabbles back! thanks frances
Author:  leahbelle [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Eep! the black spot?! Sounds bad.
Author:  francesn [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:17 pm ]
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“I am afraid I have a confession to make,” Miss Annersley said awkwardly to the gathered members of staff. Nancy and Kathie exchanged smug glances, having been made privy to the information about to be disclosed earlier in the day. The rest of the staff merely looked confused.

“It seems that some of you have been raising questions about Mary Kidd, who joined the school this term.”

Hilda paused, gauging the reactions most of the staff were trying to hide.

“I...that is we….accepted Mary despite knowing her somewhat unusual family….and educational…background.”

It was so unusual for Miss Annersley, usually so fluent and composed, to be at such a loss for words that the staff pricked up their ears. There had to be something very unusual about Mary Kidd.

“Her father came to see me late last term, whilst he was in the locality. He mentioned his daughter who had been travelling the world but was rather run down and wondered whether we could take her. He thought, and I was inclined to agree, that she needed stability in her life. He filled out the application form for Miss Dene, and she passed it on to me. As you know we ask parents of prospective pupils to put their profession on this form, well his seemed to be a ‘Gentleman o’ fortune’.”

“A pirate!” breathed Miss Derwent.

“Quite, Ruth.” Miss Annersley smiled faintly. “A pirate.”

“But does that mean…” Davida Armitage, the science mistress began.

“That Mary is a pirate?” Hilda finished for her with a smile. “So it would seem.”

“Well that needn’t be a problem,” Miss Andrews, Junior Mistress, said comfortably.

“Needn’t it?” Miss Ferrars inquired, with deceptive calm.
Author:  LizB [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol:

Wonder if the staff will treat Calico any different now!

Thanks, Fran
Author:  Alison H [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:23 pm ]
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:lol: Great to see Hilda a bit stuck for words for once!
Author:  Josie [ Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: Thanks Fran. Great to see an update too!
Author:  francesn [ Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
With apologies to the writers of Pirates of the Caribbean

It seemed for a while that Miss Andrews was to be proved right, but that was more down to Calico’s ability to remain undetected than the fact that she was incapable of any misdeeds.

The inhabitants of Crocus Dormitory, which Calico had insisted upon renaming Kelp, had long been entertained after dark by Calico’s bloodthirsty tales of piratical deeds. Those residing in nearby Belladonna had heard of these nightly entertainments and longed to join in.

“Are you sure we couldn’t sneak in?” Betty Potter wheedled.

“’Course you can,” Calico responded cheerfully. “As many of you as dare to.”

That was incentive enough for a hardy crew of miscreants headed by Betty Potter with Annie Barber amongst their number, to brave the journey down the corridor at the appointed hour.

“’Twas a stormy night in the Caribbean,” Calico began, her voice low. “The Black Pearl speedin’ toward the Isla de Muerta, crewed by a bunch of ghosts.”

A gasp went round the dormitory. “Aye, ghosts,” Calico said. “On account of the cursed Aztec gold they stole. Every bit had been repaid but one…”

The stories were the talk of the common room the next morning. After one particularly gruesome story where every single member of the crew ended up dead after being tipped with the Black Spot, the common room was agog.

“But why did they have to kill them all?” Betty asked, aghast.

“Dead men tell no tales,” Calico said, with a meaningful glance at Annie. “An’ let that be a warning to ye - if any of ye’ be splittin’ on us, ye’ll be endin’ up dead.”

“But why did they end up dead?” Betty continued curiously.

“Like I said – dead men tell no tales, and to place the Black Spot on someone is to sentence them to death. Ye can’t say they weren’t warned,” Calico answered patiently.

Annie turned white and muttered something about forgotten prep. Calico smiled with satisfaction and turned to talk to Felicity and Lucy.
Author:  kimothy [ Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
ooooooooo thanks!!!!!
Author:  BethC [ Fri Sep 01, 2006 10:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
:D :D
Wonder how long Annie will last...
Thanks, Fran!
Author:  LizB [ Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:20 am ]
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Poor Annie. I wonder if there's a way to counter the effect of the Black Spot! :lol:

Thanks, Fran
Author:  leahbelle [ Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, Fran. Hope Annie will be alright!
Author:  francesn [ Mon Sep 11, 2006 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Summer Term was generally acknowledged as boating term at the Chalet School and on Friday Miss Annersley told a delighted school that as the weather was so fine they would spend the day swimming and boating down on Lake Thun.

As a more than competent boats woman, Calico was often trusted to take out a group of girls, providing they could swim of course, without a staff member or prefect in the boat. This was a privilege usually only accorded to the most senior girls and thus not one to be taken at all lightly.

On this occasion Miss Ferrars, with the pressing knowledge that she had a group of girls waiting to take their boating tests, hastily divided up the girls amongst the boats, most with a prefect in charge. She uttered the usual strict warnings regarding boundaries and acceptable behaviour and sent off Calico, Annie, Betty, Felicity, Lucy and Rebecca Owen, a Welsh girl who had been at the school’s British branch until the previous yar, in a boat together. All six were strong swimmers and Felicity, Lucy and Rebecca were known as steady characters. Unaware of the feud that existed between Calico and Annie, Kathie Ferrars was relying upon them to keep the less responsible members of the party in tow.

“Isn’t this fun, being out without a prefect,” Betty said gleefully. “We can do whatever we like.”

“No messing around on my ship,” Calico snapped instantly.

“Oh and who put you in charge?” Annie flashed, rounding upon Calico. The heat was making her even more irritable than usual and she had not forgotten that she was at outs with Calico.

“Miss Ferrars,” Calico replied distractedly. “Pull harder on that left oar, Rebecca.”

While Rebecca corrected her stroke so the boat was headed on an even course again Annie scowled and glared at Calico.

“She didn’t say that,” she retorted finally.

“But Calico is the most experienced boatswoman,” Lucy Peters said, trying to pour oil on troubled waters. “Far more so then Flixy an’ me and we’ve been living and boating here for years.”

“I’m just saying none of us are complete novices so there’s no need for anyone to be in charge, and especially not her!” Annie growled.

“Every ship has to have a cap’n and I’m it,” Calico snarled. “Now sit down and shut yer trap or you’ll find yerself off me ship.”

However Annie was in no mood to be warned. In fact she was feeling thoroughly argumentative.

“Well who MADE you captain?” she returned hotly. “And you can’t throw me off. We’re not allowed to swim off boats unless we have a mistress’s permission,” she added righteously.

“Oh I won’t be making you walk the plank,” Calicon said, an evil glint in her eye. “You two, head for that shore there.”

Mystified Rebecca and Felicity at the oars and a dumbstruck Betty controlling the rudder lines set off in the direction indicated by Calico.

“You can’t DO anything,” Annie goaded.

Calico said nothing, her eyes scanning the shore for a suitable place to land. At last her sharp eyes espied a small cove surrounded by thick trees perfectly suited to her purpose.

“Just there,” she directed, waving at the cove. As soon as the boat beached she turned to Annie.

“Off!” she commanded.

“Off?” Annie repeated. “You want me to get out here?”

“That’s right,” Calico said. “You’re being marooned. I would give you a pistol with one shot but they’re still at school in my hanky drawer.”
Author:  Alison H [ Mon Sep 11, 2006 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Poor Annie! I wonder if Matey will find the pistol on one of her "drawer raids" :lol: .
Author:  Tara [ Mon Sep 11, 2006 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I would give you a pistol with one shot but they’re still at school in my hanky drawer.”

:shock: :lol:
Author:  LizB [ Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:37 am ]
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Fantastic! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks, Fran
Author:  Kathy_S [ Wed Sep 13, 2006 1:37 pm ]
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*giggling over handkerchief drawer*

Anne is lucky she's not overboard, standing in the boat!

Thank you, Fran. :)
Author:  francesn [ Sun Oct 01, 2006 5:28 pm ]
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“Umm, Calico,” Felicity said hesitantly. “You can’t really do that.”

“I can’t?” Calico asked. “It would seem that I am.”

“You can’t!” Annie protested. “You can’t leave me here…”

“Maroon,” Calico corrected patiently.

“Fine! ‘Maroon’ me here. You have to take me back. People will notice that we’ve gone and Ferry will know she sent six people out with you and you’ve only brought five back. And if she made you captain like she said she did, then it’s your fault.”

This last comment brought Calico up short.

“So you admit I’m cap’n?” she said.

“Yes, yes I admit it only please don’t maroon me,” Annie begged.

“Mutiny still has to be punished, even attempted mutiny,” Calico warned.

“There’s nothing you can do though,” Annie retaliated. “None of this putting me in the brig, or making me swab decks that you’re so keen on.”

“True, true,” Calico mused. “But we can be making ye walk the plank.”

“Umm Calico, the rule? About diving off the boats?” Felicity said tentatively.

“Well she wouldn’t be diving,” Calico pointed out. “And rules are more like guidelines anyway.”
Author:  kimothy [ Sun Oct 01, 2006 5:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
thank you! this is so funny

i love felicitys reaction
Author:  leahbelle [ Sun Oct 01, 2006 5:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think this is great!
Author:  LizB [ Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:18 pm ]
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*chortles*

Thanks, Fran :D
Author:  Fatima [ Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
“And rules are more like guidelines anyway.”

:lol: Not a correct CS attitude I feel!
Thanks Fran.
Author:  Josie [ Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:05 am ]
Post subject: 
:D :lol: :D :lol: :D

I love this drabble, Fran. Truly hilarious and Calico's a great character!

Love Felicity's 'erm, you can't really do that but you have anyway' approach!
Author:  Cath V-P [ Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Coffee does not suit my white laptop.....

That was great Fran - especially
Quote:
rules are more like guidelines anyway.
I always wondered where that view came from.... :lol:
Author:  francesn [ Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:50 pm ]
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“Get on wi’ it, ye lily-livered bilge-sucker!” Calico bawled as Annie stood at the stern of the boat. “Else I’ll be keel-haulin’ ye…”

“I don’t want to,” Annie protested petulantly.

“You swore an oath,” Calico reminded her ominously. “An’ ye’d be knowin’ what happens to oath-breakers now, wouldn’t ye?”

Annie swallowed hard and nodded.

“So what be the matter?” Calico asked. “Ye’ll be taking a step now into the briny.”

Seeing no other way Annie stepped out of the boat into the water with a fine splash.

“Arrr these boats be nothin’ like a proper pirate ship. Walkin’ the plank off of them she’d be makin’ a real splash,” Calico said in disgust. “Ahoy there! Miss Ferrars be sounding her whistle. Handsomely now, crew.”

Lucy and Betty swiftly changed places with Felicity and Rebecca, more to give Annie time to haul herself back into the boat than because either of the pair were particularly tired. They were only too aware that Calico would have no compunction about leaving Annie behind. Keeping to the code as she said, those who fall behind, stay behind.

“Row, me hearties, row!” Calico roared. “We be rejoining the fleet.”

Lucy and Betty quickened their stroke a little, instinctively obeying Calico. Even Annie made no objection, realising that on this occasion Calico was in the right.

If Miss Ferrars noticed anything odd about the boat steaming towards her she did not mention it. Many girls returned from a trip a trifle damp, either splashed by inexperienced oarswomen or soaked through from a capsize. It was certainly unusual for one girl to return soaked to the skin and the others perfectly dry, but the thought never crossed her mind.
Author:  Fatima [ Sun Dec 24, 2006 6:45 am ]
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It's brill to see this back, thank you Fran. :D
Author:  LizB [ Sun Dec 24, 2006 10:37 am ]
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Yay! Good to see this back.

Thanks, Fran :D
Author:  Miranda [ Sun Dec 24, 2006 3:19 pm ]
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*chuckles* Thanks, Fran. I particularly liked the final line
Quote:
It was certainly unusual for one girl to return soaked to the skin and the others perfectly dry, but the thought never crossed her mind.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Wed Jan 03, 2007 5:49 pm ]
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How cunning of Calico -- or how dim of Miss Ferrars!
Glad to see this back. :)
Author:  Tara [ Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:09 am ]
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Yes, Miss Ferrars was a mite slow on the uptake there!
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Feb 18, 2007 11:41 pm ]
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Have just discovered this and it's hilarious. Thanks
Author:  francesn [ Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:11 pm ]
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The next few days saw Calico being remarkably well behaved. Perhaps she saw the sense in Felicity and Lucy’s advice about keeping her head down, or perhaps she was planning something….

In true Calico style it turned out to be the latter. Ever since a letter from her elder brother, whom she adored, had mentioned a “handsome port in the Caribbean with some very fine rum” she had been aching to get her hands on some of it. Unfortunately for Calico and her brother honest attempts at sending it through the post had ended with confiscation by Matron of said rum and some very jolly nights in the staff-room. As none of her relatives would be visiting her in the near future, Calico was somewhat at a loss. However being a resourceful creature she chummed up with one Angela Embury a few forms below, whose elder brother Robin had a more than passing acquaintance with Giselle, a person well known in the port of Tortuga. Calico contrived to impress upon Angela the importance of total secrecy and two very excited girls set off in Robin’s motorcar one Saturday afternoon.

“Have ye ‘it’, then?” Calico asked with a wink.

“Yes, I do,” Robin replied, a trifle nervously. “Look, are you sure this is a good idea? I know we’d have been whipped if we’d tried to bring anything like this into school, and your school does favour unusual punishments.”

“Matron made Ilana eat all the jumbles her brother sneaked into school for her the other week, as a punishment,” Angela piped up.

“So much the better,” Calico said under her breath. “So much the better….”

“Well if you’re really sure – it’s in the back,” Robin said. “And your mother’s sent you a present too. I’m surprised you haven’t heard it shrieking. I had to share a cabin all the way back from Port Royal with it!”

“Mr Cotton’s parrot,” Calico breathed. “Is it? Has she? Really?”

“It’s a parrot alright,” Robin muttered. “Look, we won’t disturb it until we’re back at school. I’d rather not have Angela hear some of what he’s got to say.”

Once back at the school Robin contrived to explain the situation regarding the parrot and the large amount of paraphernalia to Miss Annersley, who, knowing Robin was Winnie Embury’s son, assumed that it was all above board.

“The parrot does seem to use some, well, slang,” Robin mentioned casually, looking uncomfortable. “And you’re pretty down on that sort of thing here, so it might be best if, well, you kept the parrot away from the younger girls.”

“Thank you for mentioning that to me, Robin,” Miss Annersley said kindly. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about, but I’ll have Gaudenz furnish a cage well away from the school so it won’t disturb us. Do give my regards to your mother.”

“I’ll be sure to,” Robin replied, sighing with relief as he made his way out to the car where Calico waited.

“It’s all clear, if you’re sure,” he told her. “It’s not too late for me to take it away again.”

“A thousand thanks for all ye did,” Calico said by way of reply. “But we’ll take it from here.”

“We?” Robin said looking around blankly.

“Me an’ me crew!”

Calico whistled loudly and a group of girls wandered nonchalantly around the corner before each taking a bottle, secreting it in specially created pockets in the hem off her dress and scurrying upstairs.

“See you in a month,” Calico said cheerily, taking the final bottle of rum from its hiding place and setting off for the school.

Robin shook his head, climbed into the car and eyed the bottle of rum in the glove compartment lovingly before shaking his head and driving off.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:25 am ]
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Hilarious Frances! Thank you.
Author:  Fatima [ Sat Mar 03, 2007 4:40 am ]
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I love the specially created pockets in the hems of their dresses! :lol:

Thanks Fran.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:44 am ]
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I'd love to see Hilda's face when she hears the parrot's first words :D :D
Author:  leahbelle [ Sat Mar 03, 2007 2:18 pm ]
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Fantastic! Thank you, Frances :D .
Author:  francesn [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:46 pm ]
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Hilda's face I will leave up to your collective imaginations....

Several select (and rather rowdy) gatherings later, Calico’s attentions returned to the problem of Annie. The girl was openly hostile to her for some reason she was yet to understand and Calico was used to settling things the good old fashioned way. A long drop and a sudden stop.

The fact that firstly Calico had proved Annie completely and utterly wrong about the gym stunt, although there was no way she could have known that Annie had been regarded as rather gifted in that department prior to Calico’s arrival, and secondly that she must have ‘sneaked’ had not occurred to Calico at all. Miss Annersley, being well experienced in dealing with schoolgirls, had realised that Calico was not intentionally sneaking with any sort of malicious intent and had accordingly questioned Annie closely about the matter. Annie had not been as forthcoming as Miss Annersley had hoped, and as such had been quite severely reprimanded by the head-mistress, a fact Annie still held against Calico. To add to her sins Calico was also an easy-going and popular member of her form, something Annie could never have claimed to be.

Of course the right way to deal with it would have been for Calico to laugh it off, include Annie in any devious plans that she had and generally ignore her sulks. Needless to say Calico didn’t take the easy option. Instead she chose to constantly needle Annie, remind her that she had been marked by the black spot and make veiled allusions about what happened to people who had been marked. The end result was a form at war.

It wasn’t that either side were lacking in support – there were those who were attracted to Calico by her vivacious personality, her colourful language, her undoubted talent for leadership, the bedtime stories and, shamefully, the rum. But equally there were those who stood by Annie, mostly from fear of what she would do to them if they wavered even for a second. Calico’s creative ideas for the war were usually countermanded with the dogged determination that Calico wasn’t doing things the ‘Chaletian’ way, and Calico’s previous lack of experience in schoolgirl pranks played right into her hands. Although Calico’s dislike of baths had been overruled by Matron’s insistence on the subject the addition of sherbert had sent Calico running screaming from the bathroom when the bath suddenly foamed for no reason she could discern.

The staff knew what was going on but were at their wits end, and it was at this point Joey intervened…
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:49 pm ]
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Am curious to see what Joey is going to do. I wonder if calico is going to end up giving her the black spot. Am loving this
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:49 pm ]
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Am curious to see what Joey is going to do. I wonder if calico is going to end up giving her the black spot. Am loving this
Author:  leahbelle [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:29 pm ]
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Wonder what Jo's solution will be...
Author:  Miranda [ Sat Mar 10, 2007 4:39 am ]
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I've been chuckling away to myself in the library as I read this - the introduction of the rum is a stroke of genius!

I also really liked
Quote:
Calico was used to settling things the good old fashioned way. A long drop and a sudden stop.


And I wonder how Joey will get along with Calico? :?
Author:  brie [ Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:07 pm ]
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its back!!!

thanks frances!!
Author:  francesn [ Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:47 pm ]
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The staff knew what was going on but were at their wits end, and it was at this point Joey intervened….

Her intervention was, quite unusually for the lady in question, entirely unintentional.

“Have you been to tea with Mamma yet?” Felicity asked in passing one day.

“Tea? An’ what’s wrong with grog?” Calico asked, still under the impression that tea was some kind of poison, although she had accepted coffee.

“English tea,” Felicity patiently explained. “Mamma always has new girls over for English tea when they join the school. I s’pose she hasn’t had you yet as there was only you. This term I mean. There aren’t many new girls in summer. In the Autumn she has them over in batches.”

Remarkably Calico managed to follow this convoluted tide of information and said that no, she hadn’t been to tea with Mrs Maynard yet.

“Oh you’ll have to come!” Felicity said excitedly. “I’ll ask Auntie..I mean Miss Annersley if you’ll be allowed to come on Saturday.”

Naturally Miss Annersley granted permission, and made a mental note to telephone Joey later that day to apprise her of the situation. In actual fact apprising Joey of the situation took a visit to Freudesheim, copious amounts of coffee, a visit from Miss Wilson and a large map, and geography had never been a strong subject with either Miss Annersley or Jo herself….

In any event Felicity and Calico made their way over to Freudesheim on the Saturday afternoon to be treated to English tea with Joey.

“You haven’t even met Mamma yet, have you?” Felicity asked.

“No, me hearty,” Calico replied. “An’ te be honest, I don’t know why I should be meetin’ yer cap’n.”

“Well Mamma was the first pupil at the school,” Felicity started.

“Arrr so she be an old salt of the Chalet!”

“Yes, you could say that….” Felicity wavered. “She’s also the author Josephine M. Bettany.” Here Felicity looked at her companion expectantly. Calico looked blank.

“Haven’t you read any of her books? They’re all in the library.”

Felicity pushed the gate open and immediately waved as she spotted her mother crossing the garden towards them.

“Mamma, I’d like you to meet my friend, Calico,” Felicity said properly.

“Ahoy there Mistress Mayn-arrrr-d,” Calico said. “It be a pleasure to met ye.”

“And I’m delighted to meet you, Calico,” Joey responded, rising to the occasion admirably thanks to the excellent briefing delivered by Hilda Annersley. “Do come and have a seat. Anna will be bringing some lemonade out in a moment. It’s rather too hot for real English tea. Although I suppose this doesn’t feel hot to you at all!”

“Arrr it’s stifling, so it is,” Calico cried. “There’s no breeze, no salt in the air, no spray comin’ over the prow to cool yer swelterin’ forehead.”

“Yes, well, let’s get you some lemonade and something to eat…” Joey floundered.

“Arrrr, grub! Lead me to it!”
Author:  Cath V-P [ Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:00 am ]
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How fascinating to see Joey at a loss.... :lol:
Author:  brie [ Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:56 pm ]
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thanks frances
Author:  Fatima [ Mon Mar 26, 2007 5:27 pm ]
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I just love the way Calico greets people so casually!

Thanks Fran.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Mon Mar 26, 2007 5:36 pm ]
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"Arrrrrrr, Matey" would be an apt quote. :)

Thank you, Fran.
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Mon Mar 26, 2007 9:23 pm ]
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Part of me thought good on Hilda for warning Joey and another part wanted me to see Joey meet Calico without any warning at all. Really glad to see an update. Any more soon? :D :D
Author:  Miranda [ Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:13 pm ]
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Quote:
“Tea? An’ what’s wrong with grog?”


An excellent question...
Author:  leahbelle [ Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:18 pm ]
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Thanks, Fran. Nice to see Joey takenaback!
Author:  Elle [ Tue Apr 03, 2007 7:11 pm ]
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:parrot:


Excellent, thank you.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:40 am ]
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On the bus today someone in a motorized wheelchair had his nose and mouth protected by a bandana decorated with lime green skulls and crossbones. I had to work hard not to stare/giggle, thinking of this....

*bump*
Author:  francesn [ Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:57 pm ]
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I shall see what I can do....
Author:  Bookwormsarah [ Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:12 pm ]
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Oh, this is genius - please can we have some more?

Ahhrrrrrr me hearties! Avast!
Author:  NineLivesBurra [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:26 pm ]
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Aye, me hearties, we need some more, please...:)
Author:  Lisa_T [ Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:45 pm ]
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This is a work of insane genius. I have giggled, cackled and spluttered throughout, although I particularly liked the idea of of Joey as an 'old salt' of the Chalet School. Now having disturbing visions of Captain Birdseye with earphones...
Author:  jilianb [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:45 pm ]
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Frances this is brilliant thank you. Please can we have some more :D :D :D :D :D
Author:  francesn [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:55 pm ]
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You may indeed have some more...I just have to write it, having now rediscovered the USB stick on which all of my drabbles were stored! Perhaps removing everything non-dissertation related from my computer and putting it onto USB was not such a smart idea afterall given that it's just taken me 3 months after finishing the blasted thing to find it, which is a good 9 months after I hid it from myself in the first place!
Author:  Abi [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 5:41 pm ]
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I've just read all of this - but is there more before this thread starts?? Anyway, TOTALLY hysterical! Can't help wondering what Joey made of the 'sweltering forehead'!!! And can't wait for some more!
Author:  Honor [ Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:06 pm ]
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Just discovered this. It is brilliant! Please please please can we have some more....
Author:  champagnedrinker [ Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:21 am ]
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aarghaar me hearties; It be international speak like a pirate today ... aaahgaa
Author:  francesn [ Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:09 pm ]
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Arrr so it be indeed...

“Where be the head?”

“The what, my pet?”

“The head. The lavvy.”

“Oh…” Joey said, momentarily flustered. “Inside, up the stairs, fourth door on the left. Felicity will show you.”

Felicity returned a few moments later to find her mother sat in a wicker chair in the salon, looking positively ashen.

“She's not exactly conventional, is she?” Felicity said companionably.

“Well I knew that Auntie Hilda had been having some problems, and when I met her mother it did occur to me that Calico may be a little, well, strange but...oh dear, she doesn't seem to have settled into being a Chalet Girl very well, does she?”

“She's such fun though, Mamma,” Felicity smiled, although Joey hardly to know that the aforementioned fun was more to do with rum and other piratical pastimes and less to do with what most schoolgirls would consider 'fun'. “And she tells smashing stories. All of them completely true!”

“Yes, but...”

“She's wantin' to go into the sweet trade herself when she leaves school,” Felicity continues.

“The WHAT?” Joey cried, sitting up straight in her chair.

“Why, she's going on the account of course!”

“I'm sorry, Felicity, but...”

“She's a pirate, mamma,” Felicity said patiently. “Although what she's doing at the Chalet is completely beyond me. All she said was she'd been marooned at a foreign port to go to this poxy, bilge-sucking school while her ship weighed anchor and headed for more swashbucklin' leaving her in a place worse than Davy Jones' locker so she spliced the mainbrace and got herself loaded to the gunwales and, well, here she is.”

“Felicity Maynard don't you EVER let me here you talk like that again!”

“Arrrrrrr me proud beauty, yer soundin' more like an old salt every day!”
Author:  MHE [ Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's a very good job that I'm here in an empty office as they would think that I'm completely mad.

Loved the description of the school :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Abi [ Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:28 pm ]
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:lol: :lol: :lol: LOVED Joey's reaction!!! Very glad to see more of this! Thanks, Francesn!
Author:  jilianb [ Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:44 pm ]
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Brilliant, many thanks for the update Fracnesn. Lovely to see Joey at a complete loss.
Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:18 pm ]
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Thanks for the update.
Author:  Billie [ Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:32 pm ]
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:rofl: Fantastic.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat Sep 20, 2008 5:14 am ]
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*giggles*

How appropriate for the day.

I hate to think of the slang fines, though. :rofl:
Author:  Alison H [ Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:29 am ]
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*Giggles.*
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:24 pm ]
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  champagnedrinker [ Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:54 pm ]
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francesn wrote:

“The head. The lavvy.”

“Oh…” Joey said, momentarily flustered.


So, what was flustering Joey, the use of the word "head", or the fact that a Chalet Girl actually wanted to go!
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