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Minnie gets a makeover - complete, p2, 12/9

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#1: Minnie gets a makeover - complete, p2, 12/9 Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 11:50 pm
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Yes this is mad-as-toast. I have been helped a LOT by my brother.....

“An’ dis is da Gorny Place in Swit-za-land. We is here to sort out da minibus wot belongs to da Maynard family. Now dis family is well big, dey has 11 kids an’ as you might be expectin’ dey has a car to match. We is about to PIMP DER RIDE!”

Westwood walked up the path to the large Chalet, admiring the exterior

“Dis is a well bling pad,” he muttered.

He stepped up to the door and rapped smartly on it. Pulling his trousers further down and adjusting his baseball cap minutely so it stood at a precisely 45-degree angle from his nose he waited for the lady of the house to appear.

He did not have to wait long. A smiling woman with rosy cheeks and flaxen hair opened the door.

“Missiz Maynard!” Westwood began.

“I shall fetch Frau Doktor Maynard for you, please come through to the Salon,” the woman said, bobbing a curtsey.

Westwood entered the house uncertainly, looking around. He slipped on the polished floor, grabbing at a coat stand to steady himself. Straightening quickly he dusted his hands down on the seat of his jeans and swaggered after the woman bustling ahead of himself. He heard giggles above him and looked up quickly, tilting his head to prevent his view from being obscured by the baseball cap jammed on his head. He caught sight of three figures disappearing through a doorway.

“I is seeing tings in frees,” he said, shaking his head and continuing to follow the woman ahead, entering an airy room where a tall slim woman, with her black hair arranged in two massive earphones, one either side of her head.

“Hello Mr Westwood – I’m Joey Maynard,” the lady said.

“Missiz Maynard wicked to meet you. Can I just say dat dat hairstyle is well wicked? It is wicked to be here an’ me an’ da team are well excited about pimping your ride!”

“Whatting my WHICH?” Joey said, flabbergasted. “I thought you were here to see about repairing the car!”

“Yeah, we is,” Westwood replied. “We is gonna take da car, and when you get it back it is gonna be da bizness.”

Effectively silencing Joey’s protests Westwood held out his hand for the car keys and set off in search of the garage. He found a decrepit minibus painted in lime green and cream.

Last edited by francesn on Tue Sep 12, 2006 10:51 pm; edited 3 times in total

#2: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 11:57 pm
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You and your brothers are geniuses!

Thanks Fran Very Happy

Kathryn

#3: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 6:52 am
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Wicked, Man Razz

I'm well excited to see what they do to it Wink

#4: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:09 am
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Oh I can't stop laughing, thanks Fran! This is fantastic.

#5: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:42 am
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*rofl*

#6: Author: Róisín,

Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 10:04 am
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*holding my sides laughing* Oh genius. Please more soon!

#7: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 1:02 pm
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Laughing

This is great, keep it coming!

Thanks

#8: Author: La Petite Em, Location: Cheltenham

Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 6:51 pm
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What a great idea!!! Keep it coming. Very Happy

#9: Author: grover, Location: Dublin

Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 7:35 pm
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*rofl*
Inspired! Thanks,Fran,looking forward to more. Laughing

#10: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 5:04 pm
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“Man dat is wicked. Dat lime green is well wicked! Shame about da cream…”

“My daughter would be most upset to hear you say that,” Joey remarked, affronted. “Lime green and cream are her two favourite colours!”

Westwood affected not hear her and continued to enthuse over the minibus.

“Dis is well big inside – we is gonna rip out all da seats and replace dem, I is thinkin’ leopard print, wiv a purple fur trim….an’ we need da tinted windows…”

“Chintz windows! How nice…” Joey interjected.

“A few dents but dat isn’t a problem for me man, we is gonna replace da bodywork. Dem bumpers is gonna have to go – vintage is well cool an’ all dat but we needs to be making dis van wicked cool.”

Two women, attracted by the voices, appeared outside the garage.

“Joey,” the elder of the two exclaimed. “I thought you were going to get a new car, rather than have Minnie repaired again!”

“Well Hilda we were, but then we were contacted by a lovely man at the BBC, who said that he’d be very interested in repairing our car for free. They might make a few minor changes, he warned me but still we wouldn’t want to pass up on a deal!”

“Very astute of you, Jo,” the second woman observed. She raised her eyebrows at the half of Westwood she could see protruding from the minibus. “And who is this?”

“This is the presenter, Mr Westwood. Mr Westwood?”

Westwood withdrew his head, hitched up his jeans and jammed his baseball cap firmly on his head.

“Mr Westwood, I’d like you to meet two of my dear friends, Miss Annersley and Miss Wilson.”

“’Aight, wicked to meet ya, laydeez!”

“Lovely to meet you, Mr Westwood,” Miss Wilson said, a smile hovering around the corners of her mouth.

“A pleasure,” Miss Annersley added faintly.

She drew Joey to one side quickly.

“Who is he?” she asked, “And where on earth did they find him?”

“Oh I know he’s a little strange, Hilda,” Joey said fondly. “But he has his charms, don’t you think?”

“You’re really going to trust Minnie with…with that?”

Westwood swaggered over to them, oblivious to their conversation. He held out his hand to Joey, who took it with a gracious smile.

“Missiz Maynard, it has been wicked meetin’ you. Me an’ da team is gonna shift dis now an’ when you get it back, we will have pimped your ride!”

#11: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:43 pm
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Wonderful. I love the way Jo hears what she wants to hear, not what is said.

#12: Author: Róisín,

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:51 pm
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Chintz, chintz ... Laughing

This is fab - more please ASAP!

#13: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:59 pm
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Laughing

#14: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:12 am
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ROFL Frances! Does he have a translator with him? Although Nell has seemed to grasp what's going on - no surprises there!

#15: Author: Kate, Location: Ireland

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:50 am
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This is brilliant, Fran! I've never seen the UK Pimp My Ride, but I have witnessed the US one, so I am imagining quite well. Smile

#16: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 7:53 am
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Excellent! ROFL Laughing

#17: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 8:25 am
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Hilda and Nell's reactions were priceless Very Happy

Thanks Fran!

Kathryn

#18: Author: La Petite Em, Location: Cheltenham

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 1:44 pm
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I think Nell has caught on here!!! Laughing

Thanks a lot Fran!!!!!!!! Very Happy

#19: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 6:06 pm
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Lovely to see that Nell has caught on but is keeping quiet!

#20: Author: Rob, Location: Derbyshire, England

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 10:23 pm
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Shocked

C'mon man, we is needin more!

#21: Author: LL, Location: North London

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:34 am
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*ROFL*
Genius, Fran!!!

#22: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:43 pm
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Laughing

Definitely one pimped ride!!

Thanks Fran.

#23: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:36 pm
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As soon as Westwood said those magic words a team of workmen who could only really be described as grubby and scruffy appeared seemingly from nowhere and descended on the car chattering amongst themselves excitedly in a language that even Joey, a keen linguist, found completely incomprehensible.

“’Dis job is gonna be da bizness,” one of them exclaimed, as he got into the driving seat and started the engine. “Hmm, dat engine is gonna be needin’ some work.”

Joey, Hilda and Nell watched as Minnie the Minibus was driven away down the road, loaded with mechanics and designers. The last they saw of their faithful lime green and cream minibus in her present incarnation was as she vanished around the bend, Westwood waving out of the back window.

“Now,” Jo said brightly. “Can I tempt anyone with a spot of English tea? Anna’s made us some lemon biscuits.”

“That would be lovely, Joey,” Nell said, taking Hilda by the arm and steering her gently towards the house.

Over the next few days, Joey was insufferable, endlessly speculating the changes that would be wrought on Minnie.

“I’m sure it will be as good as new,” she trilled. “Better in fact.”

#24: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:01 pm
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*Squeeeees lots to see more of this* - thank you honey! Smile

#25: Author: KathrynW, Location: London

Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:38 pm
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Oooh...more of this, thank you Fran!

#26: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:51 am
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So what do they do to her?

#27: Author: brie, Location: Glasgow

Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:17 am
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I've just found this... and oh i can hardly breathe i'm laughing so much!!

#28: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 12:58 pm
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francesn wrote:

Over the next few days, Joey was insufferable, endlessly speculating the changes that would be wrought on Minnie.

“I’m sure it will be as good as new,” she trilled. “Better in fact.”

Bet all her speculations come nowhere close!

Thanks, Fran Laughing

#29: Author: Katherine, Location: London, UK

Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:53 pm
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More, more, more! Can't wait to see Joey's face when the chintz windows aren't quite as she imagined.

#30: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:59 am
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"Mamma! Mamma!" Margot shouted up the stairs. "Fruhstuck's ready for you."

Jo Maynard sat bolt upright in bed upon hearing her third daughters clarion tones. Jack opened one eye sleepily, grunted, rolled over and went back to sleep.

"Coming, Margot," Joey trilled, jumping out of bed and heading for the bathroom.

Sundry other members of the Maynard household followed Jack's example. They had no desire to be woken at 5am during their holidays. Even Stephen and Mike who were looking forward to the return of the new and improved Minnie the Minibus drew the line at rising so early. With the exception of Margot and Joey the female contingent really couldn't care less, Charles and Felix also took this view and Geoff was too young to care much.

Joey joined Margot in the Speisaal a few minutes later for the customary breakfast of coffee and rolls.

"You may go back to bed for an hour or so if you like, Anna," Joey said graciously to the bleary eyed maid.

"Danke, meine Frau" Anna replied, disappearing with a speed quite remarkable for someone of her ample proportions.

"Aren't you looking forward to seeing dear old Minnie again, Margot?" Jo asked as she attacked her rolls hungrily.

"Oooh yes," Margot said dreamily.

"I wonder whether that funny little man...oh what was his name? Terrible grammar - gave Auntie Hilda quite a turn..."

"Westwood," Margot supplied swiftly.

"Ahh yes Mr Westwood. I wonder whether he'll be coming along too," Jo mused as she poured herself a strong black coffee.

"Oh I do hope so," Margot said, a trifle more dreamily this time.

"I can hardly wait to see what they've done to Minnie," Joey continued, oblivious to her daughter's expression. "It all sounded most thrilling and tres chic! And they promised she'd be as good as new. Mike's tried to explain to me just why the engine keeps making that funny noise but I didn't quite understand. Mr Westwood said they'd replace it anyway."

"Oh, well, I'll ask him to show me...how it....um...how it works. And how to fix it if it goes wrong..." Margot stammered, conjuring up images of Westwood in greasy overalls.

"Are you alright, Margot?" Joey asked suddenly. "You look quite flushed. Maybe we should send you to bed for the day."

"No! No! Nononononono," Margot protested wildly. "I'm fine, really. Just a touch excited."

"Oh I quite understand," Joey said sincerely. "I'm feeling quite excited myself."

#31: Author: Aquabird, Location: North Lanarkshire, Scotland

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 7:07 am
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ROFL! This is brilliant!

#32: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 9:55 am
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Fantastic!

Maybe Margot's not about to decide to become a nun Laughing

Thanks, Fran

#33: Author: leahbelle, Location: Kilmarnock

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 1:14 pm
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Excellent! Laughing

Love Margot's reactions!

#34: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:43 am
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Oooh I love this. I can't wait to see Minnie. Smile

#35: Author: Phil, Location: London UK

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:55 pm
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Laughing

SO looking forward to the rest of this!

#36: Author: Katherine, Location: London, UK

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:23 pm
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I'm loving this, Fran. Laughing

Sure Joey will take it all in her stride . . .

#37: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 10:50 pm
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The sound of every car engine had the Maynard household on tenterhooks that morning. From the throaty roar of Dr Courvoisier’s new Ferrari to the smooth purr of Dr Graves’ Rolls Royce, time and time again they were to be disappointed. Phil and Geoff learnt 2 new words that morning – ‘car’ and ‘damn’ – and Mitagessen was a hurried affair lest the new and improved Minnie should arrive whilst they were eating.

A knock on the door brought the whole household running, except Anna who remained in the back garden, placidly knitting as she minded Cecily, Phil and Geoff.

“Missiz Maynard,” Westwood exclaimed, correctly recognising the lady of the house this time around. “We has pimped your ride!”

“Well? Well? Where is Minnie?!” Joey said excitedly, forgoing all pleasantries.

“Follow me,” Westwood said, leading her towards the garage. The rest of the family crowded behind, all eager to see what changes had been wrought on their faithful minibus.

“Oh!” was all Joey could exclaim. Dear old faithful Minnie had left them covered in muted lime green and tasteful cream. She returned shining, vibrant and bright bright green.

“Cooooool,” Mike and Steve breathed in unison. “Mum can we have a look inside! Please!”

“I….I…” Jo stammered.

“Dis is da bizness,” Westwood enthused. Margot swooned. “We has new chromes, new tires an’ new rims. We has made da paintwork well vibrant an’ you just wait to see what we done to da inside.”

“I don’t think I can!” Jo gasped. “Where are the chintz windows you promised me?”

“Chintz windows? Man you is way out of touch!” Westwood laughed. “Dese here is da very latest in tinted windows. Like you is in da inside an’ you can see out, aight? An’ no-one can see what you is doin’ in da back?”

His eyes happened to light upon Margot as he finished that last enthusiastic speech and she flushed pink, her eyes shining and her lips parted slightly.

“Speakin’ of da back, we has installed a state of da art multi-functional entertainment system wiv surround sound. Da seats has been replaced wiv leather couches an as you can see da interior walls are covered in dis wicked leopard print fabric. Missiz Maynard, is dis not sick?”

“Sick,” Jo murmured faintly. “Yes I do feel slightly nauseous…..”

#38: Author: Aquabird, Location: North Lanarkshire, Scotland

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:10 pm
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ROFPMSL!! Laughing

Brilliant, Fran!

#39: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:37 pm
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Laughing

Brilliant!

#40: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 9:09 am
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Fab! thanks Fran.

#41: Author: JustJen, Location: sitting on the steps

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 6:13 pm
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That was so wicked!

#42: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 10:04 pm
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Laughing

Poor Jo

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