Love that Con might not know she was married
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| Marrying a Maynard http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=2151 |
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| Author: | Joyce [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 5:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Marrying a Maynard |
Just how DO Jack and Joey decide who marries their daughters? Marrying a Maynard part 1 “In short,” Reg Entwhistle concluded pompously. “I would like to express my interest in your oldest daughter and ask that when she is older that I be allowed to approach her regarding a marriage.” Reg wound down his prepared speech as it was obvious that his audience was looking at him in horror. “Umm… well… oh. I have a small private income and my salary here,” Reg stammered starting to get worried. “I don’t look bad in certain lights and for the rest, I’ll learn to dress in the dark. I also wont mind if Middles show up at all hours for advice as long as it’s only between 10am-10.15am on Tuesdays and Thursdays, preferably Thursdays…” Reg stopped blathering. It was plain that neither Joey nor Jack was listening. He stumbled to the door and somehow got through it. What COULD have gone wrong? Back in the Saal, Joey groaned and covered her face. Jack got up and paced the room. What WERE they going to do? “Why,” Joey said piteously. “Oh Jack, what have we done to deserve this?” “We? There is no ‘we’”, Jack snapped. “This is all you. And don’t cry. And don’t faint. And don’t ‘oh Jack’ me.” “But, oh Jack, I mean, Jack. I never meant for this to happen.” “Let me think. It’s a pity we can’t split the girl.” The cause of their problem was not hard to seek. Reg was only the latest in five proposals to Len over the past few days. And her loving yet incredibly scatterbrained parents had promised her to all of them. For the first time, Jack wished he hadn’t dosed Joey so much – had he rattled her brains? Roger Richardson had been first. Joey had been slightly miffed – after all, he had always worshipped at HER shrine. Roger however made it clear that Len or Con – either was the same to him. Joey liked the idea – after all, if Len said no, Con was easy to persuade given that she was always dreaming. In fact, she might not even notice she was married. She gave her blessing to the match. Then Roddy Richardson approached Jack. He needed a wife who would go and run a sheep farm with him and he thought Len would be ideal to help him deliver lambs and assorted cattle. Oh that’s unexpected, thought Jack. But why not? He was young and good looking. And outdoor farm life was healthy. He gave his blessing. Next up were Paul and Robin Embury, the sons of Joey’s old friend Winifred Embury. They came over together to see Joey and presented a joint proposal setting out the distinct advantages of their unique offering. As they were convinced they would be accepted, they left Joey’s presence assuming Len was as good as married to them. Joey was left with a slight headache and mild feeling that she had done something wrong. Fortunately Jack had managed to see off Dr Morris who had hinted that should anything ever go wrong between himself and Mrs Dr Morris, then Len was young and attractive. Jack offered Matey instead, who was neither young nor attractive, but it was the best he could do at such short notice. Still, five men, one daughter. “Well, it’s not entirely my fault Jack,” Joey said. “You never told me you had accepted Roddy when I accepted Roger. And I’d like to see you turn down Paul and Robin. They make ideal politicians – all talk and no desire to listen.” Jack looked at her. The display of spirit was somewhat appealing. “Wait,” he said slowly. “We have FIVE daughters, enough for one each.” “Jack, we have six daughters. Not to mention our various adoptees and wards,” whose names Joey could never remember. “Even better,” Jack said beaming, not the less put out that he had forgotten his sixth daughter. “We have plenty to offer all the men. “Now give me that hat.” Names were put on slips and drawn. |
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| Author: | Chair [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 5:42 pm ] |
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Thanks, Joyce. It was great to find out how the husbands were chosen! |
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| Author: | Dawn [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:18 pm ] |
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Love that Con might not know she was married
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| Author: | Clare [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:34 pm ] |
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ROFL!! That's just what I needed after the day I had! Do we find out who got married to whom? |
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| Author: | Elle [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 9:01 pm ] |
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Love it! Will there be any more? Hint hint! |
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| Author: | Elbee [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:02 pm ] |
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Brilliant!! |
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| Author: | francesn [ Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:43 pm ] |
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*sniggers* You've also just reminded my of a half-written sequel I have lying around.....Bad bunny! Thank you |
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| Author: | Joyce [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:53 am ] |
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Guess I can't leave you hanging. Below - the results of the hat draw. Marrying a Maynard part 2 “Roger – Con. Well, all right. She wont notice who she marries anyway,” Jack said dismissing his daughter in the same manner she had been dismissed all her life unless she happened to be talking about Daniel and lion’s dens. “I still think Roger could have waited for me,” Joey muttered to herself. “After all, Jack could have died and it would have made a lovely scene to propose to me in widow’s weeds.” “Next – Roddy and Margot. Oh no wait – she wants to be a nun.” Jack put the slips back and crossed out ‘Margot’ from the list. A pity really, he thought, sending the devilish one to Australia would solve all their problems. “I could have had my hair down and waited for him by the window….” “Roddy and Ruey.” Something about that pairing sounded odd to Jack but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “And as the sun streamed through the window, he could have got down on one knee…” “Joey, what’s wrong with Roddy marrying Ruey?” Jack asked still puzzled. “And I could have teased him a bit about how young he is. He would have told me I was still a Chalet girl….” “Joey? JOEY!!” Jack finally realized that Joey was indulging in her favorite fantasy of young men, sunlight in windows and streaming hair. “Oh Jack. Yes?” said Joey very flustered. “Roddy and Ruey?” “Ummm… no, dear, can’t be done. Brother and sister,you know.” Slips were drawn again. “Roddy and Cecil. Hmmm… yes. All right not a bad idea.” There was not much more to say really. Neither parent knew Cecil well enough to comment on her tastes. “Now Paul-Robin and Phil. Two for the price of one. I suppose we could sell her on the idea,” Jack mused. For Phil had become a mercenary young thing and was always on the lookout for a bargain. “And finally we have Reg and Len. Good, that’s done,” Jack said rubbing his hands with the satisfaction of having disposed of a tricky problem. “Let’s have some tea while you darn my socks and I gorge myself on toasted muffins.” So the Maynard girls were told of their fate and accepted with a docility which says much for the strength of the medicinal doses Jack administered beforehand. And though Con occasionally wondered who the man was in her bed every day and Phil often mixed up the names of her husbands, on the whole, the matches seemed happy ones. Cecil, however, decided that cattle were not to her liking and took one of Phil’s spouses off her hands. Ruey went to Australia instead. I wonder why Aunt Joey looked so horrified when I told her, Ruey thought, unaware that six men had followed her onto the boat all of whom had been promised her hand in marriage. THE END |
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| Author: | LizB [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:31 am ] |
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That was FAB! Thanks, Joyce |
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| Author: | Elbee [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 10:00 am ] |
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| Author: | Fiona Mc [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:46 pm ] |
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Hilarious
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| Author: | leahbelle [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:35 pm ] |
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Glad I read this at lunchtime when there's no-one around to see me sniggering madly! Thank you  .
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| Author: | Fatima [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:13 pm ] |
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That was hilarious, thanks Joyce.
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| Author: | Chair [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 6:34 pm ] |
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Thanks, Joyce. I loved the ending! |
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| Author: | Clare [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 7:07 pm ] |
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*claps wildly* Brilliant, I really liked that! |
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| Author: | Phil [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:04 pm ] |
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Excellent! I loved that!
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| Author: | Elle [ Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:24 pm ] |
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Wonderful! 
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| Author: | Dawn [ Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:11 am ] |
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Just brilliant
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| Author: | Miranda [ Sat Mar 10, 2007 2:44 am ] |
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Inspired! Shame that I'm in a library and can't do anything other than writhe on the chair biting my lip
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| Author: | brie [ Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:08 pm ] |
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fabulous joyce!! |
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| Author: | Caty [ Thu Mar 29, 2007 3:29 am ] |
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 Just found this. Very good!
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| Author: | Lizzie [ Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:46 pm ] |
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That was brilliant! And I'm sure that's exactly how it happened... |
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| Author: | Smile :) [ Thu Apr 05, 2007 3:09 pm ] |
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ROTFL |
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| Author: | Jennie [ Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:10 am ] |
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Just found this, it's great. |
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