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The CBB -> St Clare's House

#1: Journey Home Author: Kat, Location: Kingston-upon-Thames/Swansea

Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 9:17 pm
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Most of the Gathering CBBers were now safely home or nearly so... All apart from one that is.

One CBBer was sat in her car, looking meekly up at the tall policeman who was peering in through the window.

"I wonder if you know why I've pulled you over, Miss?" He stopped and looked enquiringly at her,

"Lesley Green, Miss", was the reply.

"Well Miss Green, any ideas?"

"Um, well, that is to say..." Lesley trailed off and blushed under the stern glare.

"Could you step out of the vehicle please, Miss."

It was an order, not a statement. Lesley clambered out, leaving a trail of cornflakes behind her.

"Follow me please"

Sergeant Annersley led the way behind Lesley's car and pointed back down the motorway. Blowing gently in the breeze were trivial pursuits cards, scrabble tiles and monopoly houses.

Lesley squeaked.

Only then did she notice that her boot wasn't closed properly (not surprising see how much stuff was jammed into it) and that half of her belongings were missing.

Little did she know that a lovely old dear had just discovered a pair of Lesley's lime green pants (embroidered with 'I Love Hilda' across the left buttock), flying from her chimney, and that the matching bra (embroidered with 'Eyes that have never yet needed glasses') was adorning a helpless sheep in a field somewhere outside Milton Keynes

Sergeant Annersley looked on as Lesley swayed a little. "Have you been drinking, Miss?"

"What? Me, Officer?"

He nodded.

"Oh no, I'm a Good Girl."

The sergeant spluttered.
Lesley looked indignant.

"In that case, you wont mind taking a breathalyzer."

A few minutes later and the results were in.

Lesley shook.

The Sergeant looked very stern.

"Miss Green! You are under the influence of Drugs!"

Lesley squeaked "What?!"

"Now, Miss, don't deny it, you'll only make things worse."

"But, but, but but but!"

No butts, Miss, don't be rude!"

"But WHAT have I taken?!" Lesley was still squeaking.

"Marijuana, Miss." Seeing the remains of something chocolatey in the corner of Lesley's mouth, he added "It looks like you've been partaking in some brownies, Miss Green."

Lesley's mind flew back to the table of goodies at the gather. "But I didn't eat any brownies!"

Suddenly light dawned... "But I did have some of the chocolate slice...."

***

By the time Lesley got home, avoiding a trip to the station by means which will remain behind closed zips, it was dark and late.

Stumbling wearily through her bedroom door, Lesley collapsed onto the bed and fell into a deep sleep. It was only when she awoke the next morning that she discovered the half eaten blackbird under her pillow and the three decaying field mice on her sofa. It took her until after a late breakfast to find the entrails in the bottom of the bath, by the simple method of stepping on them.

The Cats were sulking.

Most ideas courtesy of Vikki!

#2: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:17 pm
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Deja Vu.

#3: Author: Kat, Location: Kingston-upon-Thames/Swansea

Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:34 pm
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*g*

Vikki and I wanted to share the wealth, so decided that people who aren't members of the Gather forum should share in Lesley's trip back home!

Very Happy

#4: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:39 pm
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Rolling Eyes

#5: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 12:37 am
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Oh Lesley!! What have you been doing? And didn't you feed your cats?

Like the undies.... Wink

#6: Author: Fatima, Location: Sunny Qatar

Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 3:34 pm
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Yes, the undies made me snigger, too!

Lesley, I'll not look at you in the same light again! Laughing

The CBB -> St Clare's House

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