Ok, this isn't the conversation my then other half and I had when I invited Lesley to stay after a gather a couple of years ago. However, had it been it would have been much more amusing
“So this person coming to stay, who is she?”
“Lesley, one of the book group, she’s a published author, oh and she writes RCS.”
“RCS?”
“Yes”
“So apart from that, before you invite her into our home, do you actually know anything about her?”
“Well, erm, kind of. She’s known as Lime Green Woman”
“Lime Green Woman?”
“Yes, and Hilda is her favourite character.”
“Hilda?”
“Oh yes sorry, forgot, you haven’t red the books, she’s one of the CS Heads.”
“And that makes it ok?”
“Yes, doesn’t it?”
“Anything else?”
“Well, her other favourite character, one of her own, is Butcher, but you won’t know her either”
“The Butcher?”
“No, not the, just Butcher, she’s a prisoner, in RCS, she’s a very real character. I think there is quite a lot of Lesley in the character.”
“Really, and what’s she in prison for?”
“Well, murder amongst other things, extortion”
“Exhaustion, you can go to prison where for that?”
“Australia”
“Really?”
“Yes, no, well hang on, extortion, not exhaustion.”
“Oh, right, that makes it so much better, what else?”
“Well she’s an onion character really.”
“An onion? A butcher, who is an onion, this conversation is making less sense by the second.”
“No, the character is an onion.”
“In prison, the onion is in prison?”
“No, well yes, look, Lesley’s character is an onion, there are lots of layers to her, she may be a criminal who has broken 9 of the 10 commandments, but there is more to her than that.”
“So you want someone to stay who is a criminal?”
“Yes, no, her character is the criminal not her”
“Hmmmmmmmm”
“At least, I don’t think she’s really a criminal, I never asked”
“Right, that makes it all ok then”
“I am sure that she’s not a criminal, its just that I was saying her character,”
“Butcher the onion?”
“Yes, her, well she’s the most real”
“Therefore probably the most like her?”
“Yes”
“And it’s all arranged, her coming to stay”
“Well, yes. But at least she’s not a potato.”
