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"I'm A Russell... Get Me Out Of Here!" u/d 22 Nov
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=1618

Author:  Róisín [ Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:01 am ]
Post subject:  "I'm A Russell... Get Me Out Of Here!" u/d 22 Nov

Though it embarrasses her to admit it, Liz inspired this... :lol:

"There!" said Madge, as she straightened Jem's cream safari-style hat. "You look quite the doctor, quite the Sir."

Jem grinned and pulled his sports jacket on more comfortably. "Most of Australia is still wild terrain, Madge," he replied seriously. When she looked worried, he put a hand on her shoulder and sought to reassure her. "Don't worry, darling, the company who are sponsoring my tour of lectures will look after us well. We won't be in any danger - no more danger than you saw as a child in India!" he finished with a chortle.

"No, dear... yes, dear," Madge, looking slightly mollified, turned to her mirror and placed her hat on her head. The door burst open, ending the conversation there, and admitted four excited young people. The eldest was a strikingly beautiful young woman with copper curls. Next came a girl in her late teens, with black tresses. Hanging from each girl's right hand was a very small boy - they were alike enough that it was obvious they were twins.
"Oh Mum!" cried the black-haired girl. "I think we're about ready. The twins just can't wait to board the plane!" As if to confirm this, one of the small boys added, "Vant to fy, Mummy."
Madge smiled - she thought briefly of her missing girl, Aline, who was to stay at school in Switzerland. Jem knelt down and gathered the twins to him, a look on his face that told of news. "I saved this as a surprise," he announced, "we are going by plane, yes, but the last leg of our trip will be completed in a... helicopter!" As the oooohs and ahhhs rang out around him, he continued. "Yes, the company want us to make a memorable landing, and this is the very latest thing."

Madge put her gloved hand to her throat a little breathlessly. "Oh darling," she gasped. "You are going to be quite the celebrity!"

Author:  wheelchairprincess [ Thu Nov 16, 2006 1:49 am ]
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:lol: LOL this. is. hilarious. :lol:

Author:  LizB [ Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:23 am ]
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*denies everything*

Thanks, Róisín - looking forard to more :lol:

Author:  leahbelle [ Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:18 pm ]
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Inspired!

Author:  Laura V [ Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:21 pm ]
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I'd vote for Jem to do all the bush tucker trials :twisted:

Author:  Chair [ Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:58 pm ]
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Thanks, Róisín. This is brilliant so far!

Author:  Róisín [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 12:01 am ]
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Thanks to Liz again for betaing :D

In fact, three helicopters were needed to transport the Russells, their servants and their baggage from their last airport to their first point of arrival in Australia. Madge was a little nervous but Jem reassured her. Sybil strapped herself into her seat next to her sister, a twin beside each of them, and calmly took out her embroidery. Josette looked at her a little resentfully. It was all very well for Sybs to act the grownup, but now Josette had two pestering little boys to watch out for! And they were just full of questions too.

"Vere's Mummy?" asked little Kevin.
"Don't worry darling, she's in the other helicopter," Josette reassured him. "And Marie and Andreas are in the third with all our luggage."
"No, Jo, Andreas is travelling with Mummy and Daddy - Marie has all of their family in the third helicopter," interrupted Sybil.
Josette looked confused. Always the clever one of the family, she had been the youngest in her class for many years due to her great intelligence. Now, she knew that something was amiss. Her roses-and-cream complexion screwed up now in confusion. "But, Sybs, then where is all of our luggage?"
Pretty Sybil remained unruffled. "I'm sure Daddy has it taken care of," she answered, snapping off a thin blue thread with her travelling scissors.

In the other helicopter Marie Monier was carefully strapping in each one of her four children to the seats provided for them. She did not like this trip to Australia but Andreas had been excited about the opportunity, and she couldn't let him travel alone. Men! They had no idea how to provide for their own comfort.
"Mutter, I am twenty-two! Please do not fuss so!" Jacques spoke in a strong Welsh accent, though he still called his mother by the title she insisted upon.
"And I am twenty-five," added Greta as she reapplied some lipstick.
"Children!" hissed Marie. "Do not speak so! Now, Gretchen, you will attend to Jose, and you Jacques may see to Petit-André..." Then Marie settled herself in her own seat and smiled in the direction of the helicopter where she knew her husband would be settling himself at that very moment.

Andreas was settling himself very well indeed. "No, no, Rosa," he was saying smoothly. "There's no need for you to travel with the twins. It's just a short journey and there is more room for you here." He winked at Marie's shy sister who worked as a nanny for the Russells. Sir and Lady Russsell had yet to enter the helicopter - they were letting Andreas organise the packing in of the luggage - just the bare essentials that Madge had thought necessary. Andreas however was far more interested in organising what he himself considered essential. He leaned forward and brushed Rosa's hair from her cheek. "I am so glad you have accompanied us here," he whispered.

The wind flew fast from the blades as they whirred around and around. Madge had to hold her headscarf on with her gloved hand. The other hand was clutched firmly in Jem's. Some camera men had turned up and were taking snaps of the famous couple as they climbed aboard.
"All part of the lecture tour," smiled Jem. "The organisers want to make a big deal of it for the sponsors, apparently."
"How wonderful," said Madge, "I'm sure everything is going to be wonderful."

Author:  LizB [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:35 am ]
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Can't help thinking they're going to be in for a HUGE shock :lol:

Thanks, Róisín

Author:  leahbelle [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:59 am ]
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A very huge shock indeed!!

Author:  Ruth B [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 11:18 am ]
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oh dear...

and :shock: :shock: :shock: at Andreas!

Author:  alicat [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 2:35 pm ]
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this is hilarious - I would definitly watch this version!

Author:  Chair [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:06 pm ]
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Thanks, Róisín. I hope that the flight will go ok.

Author:  KathrynW [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:51 pm ]
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Just found this Róisín, it's fabulous!

Can't wait to see more :D

Author:  Lizzie [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 6:19 pm ]
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Fantastic, Róisín! More soon, I hope!

Author:  Elle [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:21 pm ]
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Lizzie wrote:
Fantastic, Róisín! More soon, I hope!



I agree! fantastic, thanks.

Author:  nikkie [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:28 pm ]
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Fantastic what else can I say?

More please :wink:

Thanks Roisin

Author:  Phil [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:45 pm ]
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This looks good! More soon please!

Author:  Lisa A. [ Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:51 pm ]
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Laughing out loud!

Who will play the parts of the odious Ant and Dec?

Author:  Tara [ Sat Nov 18, 2006 1:23 am ]
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Love the 22 year old Jacques with his Welsh accent! :lol:

Confess to never having watched 'Get Me Out of Here', but this is very fine!

Author:  Jennie [ Sat Nov 18, 2006 3:40 pm ]
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Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were an 'Admirable Chrichton' situation?

Author:  Sugar [ Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:44 pm ]
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Nice to see this. Someone must be psyhic as I mentioned a sequel to Sue who wrote the original "I'm a Chaletian" that's in the archives.

Author:  Josie [ Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:45 pm ]
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Excellent - this is hilarious.

Thanks Róisín

Author:  Róisín [ Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:42 pm ]
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Madge gripped Jem's hand. The helicopter ride was less than smooth. They had been airborne for about twenty minutes and she was very frightened. One photographer had come into their helicopter with them, to capture Sir Russell's first impressions of Australia.

"I thought you said this was just a short flight, darling?" she whispered to Jem. He smiled confidently and assured her that they were nearly there. The photographer snapped Madge's white knuckles as they clung to Jem's and she could see him grin at her fear.

"Roight, that's me done, mates," he unstrapped himself and hitched a parachute pack onto his back. He opened the door carefully, and before Madge had time to squawk in bewilderment, dropped into the air below. The door banged shut. Madge could hardly believe what she had just seen.

"Oh, that kind of thing is normal out here, Madge," remonstrated Jem. "The distances are so far that flight is a normal method of transport. This is the equivalent of us dropping him at the next village." Rosa sat wide-eyed, staring at her master. Andreas too was feeling shocked and nervous, but he took his cue from Jem and remained confidently straight-faced. He shook his head at Rosa and hissed quietly at her in German, telling her to pull herself together.

Suddenly Madge gasped. Jem, Andreas and Rosa followed her gaze out the west window of the helicopter. One of the other two helicopters was in difficulties! It was swaying in the hot Australian air like a toy ship in an emptying bath. The blades were whirring erratically and it had started to drop sharply, before pulling up again. Madge's hand flew to her lips.
"My babies!" she whispered in a strangled tone.
Jem half-stood before realising that he was strapped in. He leaned forward and tapped on the dividing glass through to the pilot, shouting at him to do something. The pilot evidently understood and soon their own helicopter was veering close to the one in danger.

Then... crash!! The two helicopters had both come to the rescue at the same time and their blades had become entangled! Madge promptly fainted. So did Rosa. Andreas started to sweat badly. Jem stared out the window, feeling helpless, watching first one parachuting girl, then two small boy-shaped bundles, then another girl, fall from the first helicopter...

Author:  Chair [ Wed Nov 22, 2006 11:41 pm ]
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Thanks, Róisín. I hope that everyone will be ok.

Author:  LizB [ Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:26 am ]
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meeeeeep!

Thanks, Róisín

Author:  leahbelle [ Thu Nov 23, 2006 11:19 am ]
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Fabulous, Roisin. I love the comment about it being the equivalent of dropping him at the next village!

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Nov 24, 2006 4:47 pm ]
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This is great, Roisin, thanks.

Author:  Josie [ Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:17 am ]
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:lol: :lol:

Thanks Roisin.

Author:  CatherineS [ Sat Dec 02, 2006 5:46 pm ]
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This is great. Thanks, Roisin.

Author:  JoS [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 10:26 pm ]
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Just read this for the 1st time - very funny. Thx Roisin, but could we have more please!

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