The CBB :: View topic - How To Get Promoted

#1: How To Get Promoted Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 1:56 am

The eye surgeon looked curiously at the slender brown-eyed woman in front of him. Her jaw was set in determination, and he had a feeling that he would find it difficult if not impossible to refuse any request she might make.
“How may I assist you, Miss Annersley?” he asked politely, hoping her demand would be feasible.
His dismay can be better imagined than described when she coolly responded, “I should like you to give me a pair of piercing blue-grey eyes that will never need glasses. You see,” she went on, her lovely voice sorrowful, “I have noticed of late that I require glasses in order to do my corrections. Unfortunately, The Author does not like women who wear glasses and I am hoping to be promoted shortly. If The Author discovers that my eyesight is less good than she believes it to be, I shall lose my job.”
The eye surgeon’s jaw dropped.
“But- who is this Author?” he demanded.
“Never mind that,” Hilda Annersley told him firmly. “It is no concern of yours. Can you, or can you not, do as I ask?”
He looked at her doubtfully. “I must confess that I have never had such a request before. I’m not even sure if it’s possible! However,” he continued hurriedly, noticing that the woman’s eyes seemed to be hardening- personally, he didn’t think she needed the piercing qualities of blue grey, brown was quite bad enough- “I shall phone one of my colleagues to find out. Wait here a moment, please.”
Whereat he vanished (with some relief) through the door that connected to his secretary’s office, and his would-be patient sat back with a satisfied smile.
The day before, Mademoiselle, current Headmistress of the Chalet School, had drawn her aside and intimated that she wanted to take early retirement from the fictional life, and that she would be recommending Hilda to The Author as her successor. However, Mlle had added, The Author’s preference for blue-grey eyes that never needed glasses was well known (unofficially, that was) and Mlle suggested that if Hilda really wished to become Headmistress in her turn, she’d better do something about the strength and colour of her own eyes.
Grateful for the hint, Hilda had made this appointment and here she was. She had no doubts that her desires would be met. They usually were. She was not disappointed. After an absence of some fifteen minutes, the eye-surgeon returned, beaming.
“Well,” he began with false heartiness, “I am pleased to inform you that we can help you this time. If you come with me now we shall test your eyesight and then prescribe contact lenses which will be implanted in your eyes with a very minor operation. You will need to return as the years go on to have the prescription adjusted, but I imagine that will pose no difficulty?”
Miss Annersley smiled and shook her head. “Not at all,” she affirmed. “But what about the colour, doctor?”
The surgeon’s lips curled in a self-satisfied smirk. This had been his own idea and he was inordinately proud of it. “Ah, that is simple enough,” he began expansively. “Before we implant the lenses, we shall have a dye fixed to them. You may choose the exact tint of them yourself,” he added kindly. “In fact, if I may suggest something?”
“Please do.”
“I shall provide you with a pair of removable soft lenses in a deeper shade of grey. You are a schoolmistress, are you not?”
“I am hoping to be promoted to Head,” Miss Annersley explained, and his grin widened.
“Even better! Every time you need to summon sinners to your study, all you need to do is take a couple of minutes to add the dark grey films- and, lo and behold, your new blue-grey-eyes-that-never-yet-needed-glasses will look like steel. Just the thing to strike terror into the hearts of your young miscreants!”
Hilda Annersley smiled. “My thanks, doctor,” she said gently. “I believe you have hit on the very solution!” The operation was performed the following week. Mlle was removed from the cast of the Chalet School on false pretences by The Author. Hilda Annersley was appointed headmistress.
Thereafter, anyone who dared suggest that the Head’s eyes had ever been anything other than blue-grey, or that they had ever needed glasses, was quietly but firmly removed to the Sanatorium for the rest of their lives. There, they were driven mad.
"There was a twinkle in Miss Annersley's brown eyes as she said...." (Jo Returns, HB, p. 73)

#2: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:29 am

Excellent Lisa Laughing

#3: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 6:27 am

Ah, so that explains it! I suppose you also have an explanation for why her eyes were blue in Barbara? Wink

#4: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:21 am

Fascinating! ROFL

(don't suppose this doctor can deal with eyes-that-have-always-needed-glasses.... Neutral

)

#5: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:23 am

Kathy wrote

Quote:

don't suppose this doctor can deal with eyes-that-have-always-needed-glasses....

If he can Lisa, can we have his number? Smile

#6: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:50 am

LOL Lisa!

#7: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:28 am

Brilliant Lisa, thank you Very Happy

#8: Author: Mihiri, Location: surrey england

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:08 am

Lol! Thanks Lisa Very Happy

#9: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:44 am

Brilliant Lisa, as always. Thanks a lot.

#10: Author: Helen P, Location: Crewe, Cheshire

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 1:06 pm

Fantastic Lisa! I had never noticed the brown eyes bit in Jo Returns before!

#11: Author: Katie, Location: A Yorkshire lass in London

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 1:20 pm

This is great Lisa! Good old EBD. Do you think she kept any sort of notes about what her chatacters were supposed to look like etc?!

#12: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 4:16 pm

LOL Lisa! Brilliant!

#13: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 5:57 pm

Thanks Lisa! I'd never spotted that one either!

#14: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 6:40 pm

Wonderful Lisa. You haven't lost your touch, have you?!!

#15: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 6:42 pm

well I must say you've cleared up a great mystery for me.....I once made the mistake of trying to draw Miss Annersley (with grey eyes) and sparked a great debate...none of which, might I add, I understood being only 8 or 9 years old at the time!

#16: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:20 pm

You mean you have been sat on this since New Years Eve and we have had to wait until today???! Evil or Very Mad

#17: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:39 pm

Lovely story Lisa. Thank you.

Lyanne wrote:

Kathy wrote

Quote:

don't suppose this doctor can deal with eyes-that-have-always-needed-glasses....

If he can Lisa, can we have his number? Smile

Please add my name to this list.

#18: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:38 pm

LOL Carolyn!!! Well, we were rather busy... no, not THAT kind of busy. Wink

But since you didn't know it was coming no-one missed it, did they? ROFL

#19: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:06 am

Thanks Lisa. I've never noticed that particular EBDism before - I'll be looking for it now! What a brilliant explanation!

#20: Re: How To Get Promoted Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 6:18 pm

Lisa_T wrote:

The Author’s preference for blue-grey eyes that never needed glasses was well known (unofficially, that was) and Mlle suggested that if Hilda really wished to become Headmistress in her turn, she’d better do something about the strength and colour of her own eyes.

So that's why Madge had to stop being headmistress, nothing to do with being married at all! Laughing

Liz

#21: Author: Kate, Location: Ireland

Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2005 1:36 pm

Thanks Lisa for the explanation! Smile

In Changes, her eyes are blue, though. Hmm.

#22: Author: Mollio, Location: Ireland

Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 1:45 am

Well spotted, Lisa.

#23: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 9:50 pm

Kate wrote:

Thanks Lisa for the explanation! Smile

In Changes, her eyes are blue, though. Hmm.

And in Barbara - obviously trying out a different set of lenses.

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