The CBB :: View topic - Head to Head

#1: Head to Head Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 5:01 pm

A friend told me about this incident during her schooldays. I thought it would be fun in a CS context. Laughing

“Now, turn to your relief maps and check the correlation for- oh, blast and bother it!”
Inter V’s communal jaw dropped en masse. It was virtually unheard of for any mistress of the Chalet School to use slang, let alone one of the Heads. Miss Wilson, however, was more worried about the source of the interruption- namely, a broken window. It was a warm spring day and all of the windows were open; one, however, kept slipping repeatedly shut with a loud and distracting ‘clunk.’ Distracting for the mistress, needless to add. The girls- even this form- were too much in awe of her renowned sarcastic tongue to permit their attention to wander for even a minute.
Miss Wilson stalked across to the ancient desk that stood in the corner of the room, one of the few relics from the days when this building had been used as a skiing hotel. With a rattle, she opened one of the drawers and withdrew a particularly large rock. It was used for geological demonstrations. She examined it carefully, and then looked at the window. Yes. It might just work.
She turned back to her class who were watching her closely.
“I think we’re going to have to do something about that window,” she informed them in conversational tones. “We need something to wedge it open. I think this will do the trick. Heather, catch!”
The rock went sailing across the classroom whilst various inhabitants suppressed squeaks of alarm. Fortunately, the Science and Geography mistress had true aim, and there were no tragedies. Heather, despite her shock at appointed catcher, also surpassed expectations by catching it. She looked expectantly towards Miss Wilson.
“What will I do with it?” she stuttered.
“Wedge it in,” muttered Margot Maynard out of the corner of her mouth.
Heather nodded her thanks to the youngest of the Maynard triplets and did just that. Cautiously, she checked it, and then turned back to the mistress.
“I got it in.”
Miss Wilson, having returned to giving out her instructions, simply nodded and continued with her peroration. Heather sank back into her dreams, not being in the least scientifically minded.
Five minutes later there was a resounding ‘clunk’ and the entire class turned to look at the window. Somehow, the rock had dislodged itself and fallen to the ground some ten feet below.
Miss Wilson sighed. “It’s all right, Heather. Leave that window closed for the rest of the day. I’ll get someone to check it later. In the meantime, we’d better recover the rock. Len, run down and fetch it for me, please.”
The eldest triplet, sitting in her customary spot at the front, nodded her assent and left the room rapidly, knowing only too well that patience was not one of ‘Bill’s’ virtues. The only thing was to go and return as quickly as possible, and then check with Con about the missed work. By this time, she had reached the corner, and turned to the spot where she expected to rock to have landed.
She stopped in shock. Miss Annersley, the School’s other Head, was standing almost directly underneath the window in question. Len gulped and moved closer.
The Head looked up from examining the rock in her hand and frowned at the sight of the girl. Len’s guilty expression did little to aid matters.
“Do you know anything about this, Helena?”
Len bit her lip at the use of her full name. This really wasn’t fair. “Er. Yes, Miss Annersley. I’ve come to get it.”
The Head’s eyebrows shot up and she sent her brevet niece a rare look of disfavour.
“Have you indeed. Were you responsible for throwing it out of the window?”
“N-no,” Len gasped, thankful that there could be no doubt on this point.
The Head gave her a puzzled glance. “Then why are you here? You should be in a lesson at this time.”
“Yes, Miss Annersley. Um. It’s a geology rock.”
Miss Annersley looked at the rock again and supposed the girl was right. Geology was not, and never had been, one of her interests.
“In that case, it definitely shouldn’t be here.”
“No,” Len squeaked. “It fell out of the window.”
“It fell?” the Head repeated, disbelief in every note.
“Yes. Miss Annersley.”
The Head fixed her with an icy glare. “I think I’d better investigate this further. You do realise that this could have turned into a very nasty accident. The rock only just avoided hitting me as it fell.”
“Yes, Miss Annersley,” Len whispered again, having decided that it was the safest thing to say.
“Who is with you now?” the Head shot out.
Len gulped again. “Miss Wilson.”
Miss Annersley’s brows went up again at the name of her co-Head. “And she knows about this?” she pressed.
Len nodded miserably. “She sent me,” she explained.
“H’mm. Very well, Len. You may run along.” She handed over the rock and dismissed the girl with a nod.
The eldest of the Maynards dropped the obligatory curtsey and disappeared as fast as she could. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, she mused ruefully as she returned to the classroom. She knew only too well that Miss Wilson would not appreciate her delay.
Sure enough, her godmother glared at her as she entered.
“Finally! I was starting to think you’d gone digging for it.”
Len mutely held out the recovered rock, and hovered as the mistress returned it to the drawer.
“Well?” Miss Wilson demanded. “What took you so long?”
Len dropped her voice. “Miss Annersley was talking to me.”
Miss Wilson paled. “I see. Girls, continue with your work. Helena, come with me.”
Once outside the classroom door, Miss Wilson folded her arms and looked at her goddaughter, who was now beginning to see the comical side. After all, none of it was her fault.
“What happened?” Miss Wilson asked.
Len relaxed- just a little. It took considerable effort to prevent her voice from betraying her mirth. “The rock nearly fell on Auntie Hilda’s head,” she explained baldly.
Miss Wilson bit her lip. “Did you tell her?”
Len’s grey eyes were definitely twinkling now. “No. I don’t think so, anyhow.”
Miss Wilson exhaled a breath of relief. “Thanks, Len. I’d appreciate it if you kept this to yourself.”
Len grinned. “Can’t I tell Mamma?”
“No!” Miss Wilson barked. Then she sighed. “In you go. Con will tell you-“
“Miss Wilson.”
The familiar voice made girl and mistress turn guiltily. Miss Annersley stood with her arms crossed, eying them both with her most dispassionate expression. Her best friend and brevet niece simultaneously gulped.
Miss Annersley watched them with only the merest vestige of a twinkle. “Len, I’ve believe you’ve been dismissed,” she hinted.
Len thankfully whisked back into the classroom, leaving the two Heads standing.
Miss Annersley leaned over to say, very quietly, “Nell, the next time you feel like murdering me, I suggest you find a more efficient method. That was anything but. See you later.” With that, she nodded pleasantly and continued down the corridor.
Miss Wilson stared after her, looking not unlike a goldfish. It was a while before she was able to pull herself together sufficiently to return to Inter V and their disrupted Geography lesson.

#2: Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 5:11 pm

Brilliant! A perfect note on which to start the weekend!

Thanks, Lisa_T.

Last edited by Joey on Fri May 20, 2005 5:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

#3: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 5:24 pm

Thanks Lisa

Liz

#4: Author: aitchemelle, Location: West Sussex

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 5:36 pm

Thank you Lisa Laughing

#5: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 6:13 pm

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!

Lisa, that was brilliant!!!!

#6: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 6:36 pm

Wonderful Lisa, thank you Very Happy

#7: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 8:00 pm

Oh wonderful - can just see it! Laughing

#8: Author: Chelsea, Location: Your Imagination

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 8:33 pm

That was very, very funny.

Thanks.

#9: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 10:11 pm

That was brilliant Lisa, thank you so much. Razz

#10: Author: Lisa_T, Location: Belfast

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 10:37 pm

*bows all round* Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. All true too except for the crack at the end, and the fact the Miss Wilson's original was apparently dangerous in the classroom- habit of throwing things and banging pokers onto desks. My friend was in Len's position...and from the sound of it Sister Perpetua was every bit as scary as Hilda...

#11: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 11:18 pm

Nice one Lisa.

#12: Author: Sugarplum, Location: second star to the right!

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 12:01 am

LOL ...great Lisa ... loved Nell and Len both having the same reaction to Hilda's voice!

#13: Author: Rosie, Location: Huntingdonshire/Bangor

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 2:04 am

*giggles madly*
We had to have the car park area around the oldest building roped off as a chunk of stonework landed on a car...

#14: Author: pim, Location: Helmel Hampster

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 9:39 am

*giggles like a loon* Thanks Lisa!

#15: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 2:11 pm

Thanks, Lisa.

#16: Author: Kat, Location: Swansea

Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 7:49 pm

Great stuff! Laughing

#17: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 2:44 am

Marvellous!! ROFL

#18: Author: Laura, Location: London (ish)

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 9:23 am

Thanks Lisa! Very Happy

#19: Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 12:32 pm

Wonderful, Lisa. Thanks very much. Laughing

Hilda's voice scary?????????? Never!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shocked

#20: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:09 pm

Wonderful! Thanks Lisa!!!!

#21: Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle

Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:17 pm

Thank you Lisa a wonderfully funny story.

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