The CBB
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/

Before we are 30! updated 27/11/08
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=4154

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Before we are 30! updated 27/11/08

This was brought about by reading the Emily Post thread and by a sudden realisation. There may be more.

Jennie cleared her throat. “Girls! that is ENOUGH!!” The airport was crowded and the self appointed monitor had already lost things and her patience was next on the list! The crowd fell silent. “Right, thank you. Do we have everyone?"

“Aunty Sue’s not coming.” Sugar was glum.
“but we have Hilda instead” informed Vikki as Lesley beamed.
“Has everyone got passports, and dollars and clean knickers?” Jennie queried as she ushered Lisa through the departure gate, hoping Patmac wouldn’t set the alarms off again. It was really was embarrassing when they strip searched her.

Jennie didn’t know if this was a good idea anymore, but the young ones needed a chaperone and they were the woman to do it.

Later that day the flight landed in Raleigh International and the after going through passport control and rescuing Lisa off the baggage carousel, where she had sat cross legged without thinking, the dishevelled group walked out into the sunshine to claim their rental car.

“Ohh what’s that over there?” Squeaked Lesley in a most unLesley like voice. No sooner were the words out of her mouth as Vikki had gone to look. “House landed on someone.” She peered at it.
“Vikki… have you been investigating the contents of the mini bar? We aren’t in Kansas now you know” Pat followed Vikki’s gaze as Vikki looked guilty.

The Austrian Chalet looked out of place in the American landscape but the socks poking out from underneath looked familiar to Sugar.
“Those are Aunty Sue's socks. The tension went funny and one was skinny and the other was doing a Nora Batty impression!”

"Goodness I know she said it was windy in Carlisle but that takes the biscuit!”
exclaimed Auntie Pat.
“Poor Aunty Sue” muttered Lisa.
“Never mind Aunty Sue!...let’s get going!"
Hilda was more interested in lunch. “Owwww What was that!” She left out a squawk.
“THAT was me” Suddenly Aunty Sue was behind them tucking the poking stick back up her sleeve.
“But but ………” Sugar jibbered….”You got flattened by the house”
“Did not”
Sue was succinctly adamant.
“But who is that then?” Patmac kicked the unresponsive leg fiercely.
“It’s wotshername thingy. She’s the eternal question mark… " Sue was never good with names but they knew who she meant.
“I gave her my socks as a pressie but I wasn’t expecting the blasted house to land on her!”
“Were you expecting to be swept up in a tornado then?”
asked Auntie Pat cheekily.

Jennie glared unsure who was going to cause the most trouble on this trip.

Hilda smiled sympathetically at Jennie, she was getting a headache and they still had to deal with Lesley’s driving to get them to the hotel.

Suddenly a horn blasted and the group looked up to see a black van with blackened windows in front of them.
“Wow!” Patmac was impressed.
“It’s like the one from the A – Team!” Sugar was equally impressed.
“Lesley is BA Baracus!” giggled Vikki.
“Nah – she’s not got the gold chain” grinned Lisa.

Lesley grinned back at Lisa as she hooked her finger under her lime green “Hilda is the best” T-shirt to reveal a chunky gold chain complete with a heavyweight medallion.
“Ohh ok … maybe she has then” amended Lisa.
“Coo, you could sell that on Ebay” ventured Vikki,
“Yeah you might get £1.99 for it!” interjected Sugar.
“Sugar my dear, I bought it from Ebay for all of 50p.” Lesley was deadpan. “Now come on clamber in!”
“Yes, I’m starving and I want my lunch.”
exclaimed Hilda plaintively.

Everyone piled in pell mell and with Lesley in the drivers side and Hilda wisely, or possibly unwisely, navigating they set off.

Suddenly the younger girls send up a cry…. “Lesley………… are we nearly there yet?!”

They wanted to get there before they were 30!

Author:  patmac [ Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:41 am ]
Post subject: 

A lovely laugh first thing in the morning, thank you Sugar.

Slightly concerned as we are flying to America on Saturday in RL - and who knows what is real and what isn't. :shock:

Author:  Mona [ Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:55 am ]
Post subject: 

:D

Author:  Jennie [ Wed Mar 12, 2008 3:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Please do write some more of this soon, Sugar. I need a good laugh before I start doing serious research into my exam marking.

I've now found a copy of Palin's 'Pole to Pole', but not managed to make myself read it.

Just 12 stories from the anthology, 75 poems, eight novels and two books of short stories to go, one of which is an anthology of DH Lawrence, whose work I loathe with a passion.

Author:  Lesley [ Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Liane [ Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: Fantastic. Thanks Sugar

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:37 am ]
Post subject: 

Bit more. I did warn you this was silly. Some more later.

“Lesley, I need to go to the loo!” Lisa wriggled.
“Lesley, I need a nicotine fix.” Jennie snapped. Those patches weren’t all they were cracked up to be.
“Lesley my bum’s gone numb!” Sugar giggled.
“Ohhh yeah oooh yeah yeah” Auntie Pat sang. She had stolen the headphones to Sue’s ipod.
“Lesley…. I need to…”
“What?” Interrupted Lesley looking into the back.
“Ohh nothing really … I just thought we’d be there by now,” replied Patmac meekly. She really needed to liberate something from her case.
Jeeeeeeeeeeee. Lesley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vikki screamed.

Everyone looked up as Lesley swore and swerved.

“Lesley, for heaven’s sake. This is America they drive on the other side of road!” Sue grumbled, “And now I’ve dropped a stitch!”
“Do you want to drive” Lesley glanced at Sue in the internal mirror.
“And trust you with my knitting?" queried Sue. “I don’t think so somehow!”
“Shouldn’t we have been there hours ago?”
Patmac asked.
“Hilda has the map.” Vikki explained.
“Hilda has the map…. Upside down!” correctly Lisa helpfully.


Eventually they arrived at the hotel and Lesley and Sue were handing out the cases.

"OOfff Jennie! What on earth have you got in here? The Kitchen sink?” Sue passed Jennie her case awkwardly.
“No – just 12 stories from the anthology, 75 poems, eight novels and two books of short stories.” Jennie was glib.

Meanwhile, at the other side of the van Lesley was having a similar conversation with Patmac.
“I’d hate to know how much excessive baggage they charged you on this! And you think you travel light!”

Lesley was bemused. Patmac looked sheepish as there was a spluttering noise as she unzipped the case.
“What on earth…” shrieked Auntie Pat
“Well we were supposed to fly out at the weekend…so I just put Alan in the case!”

Lisa looked gobsmacked. This was turning into a crazy trip. The sooner they were 30 the better!

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:09 am ]
Post subject: 

Sugar I hope you won't be expecting a lift any time soon! :twisted: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:24 am ]
Post subject: 

Sugar, you are insane. :lol: :lol: :rofl:

Hope Alan's OK.

*checks flights for Raleigh-Durham*
How far are you from my sisters?

*contemplates being 30*

Author:  patmac [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 8:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Kathy_S wrote:
Sugar, you are insane. :lol: :lol: :rofl:
Hope Alan's OK.


But it's a nice insane! The very thought of picking up a suitcase with Alan in it makes my back hurt!

Author:  Kat [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 3:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

More! More!

Author:  Jennie [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderful, more, please.

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

A bit more. Usual Disclaimer.

Next morning at breakfast the discussion was rife.
Where are we going Jennie?”
Jennie was in charge.
“Where are we going Lesley?”
Lesley was driving.
“Hilda, where are we going?"
Hilda had the map.

“We are going to Memphis Tennessee!” cried Lesley
“Gracelands?” Auntie Pat asked, trying not to squee.
“But Lesley Elvis is DEAD!” Vikki knew this.
“He died before we were even BORN!” Lisa confirmed.
“Thanks girls!”
“Talk about making us feel old!”
Patmac grinned.
“Elvis………mmmmm” Auntie Pat smiled to herself.

“The King is NOT dead.” Lesley persisted and turned around showing that she had the slogan ‘Elvis isn’t dead’ emblazoned on the back of her Hilda florescent pink Hilda T-shirt.
“The King is indeed dead.” Hilda looked at Lesley in a new light and looked at the historian for confirmation

“Indeed he is, whichever you might choose”….Lisa grinned and launched in."Willy, Willy, Harry, Steve, Harry, Dick, John, Harry three. One, two, three Neds, Richard two, Harry's four, five, six, then who? Edwards four and five, Dick the bad... Harry's twain, Ned six (the lad) Mary, Bessie, James you ken.. then Charlie, Charlie, James again. Will and Mary, Anna Gloria, Georges four, Will four, Victoria….Edward seven next, and then came George the fifth in 1910. Ned the Eighth soon abdicated Then George the Sixth was... ………………..Woomp!”

Vikki picked up a cushion, aimed it and threw it at Lisa, effectively stopping her in her tracks.

“For goodness sake Lisa, you’re like a Duracell bunny!” Vikki grinned at her learned friend.
“My head hurts” moaned Sugar. Her History A level was beginning to haunt her.
“Cut it off!” Auntie Pat replied briskly whilst grinning at Auntie Sue who nodded enthusiastically,
“What?” Sugar jerked upright.
“If it’s hurting – cut it off!” Aunty Pat mimed a karate chop.
“Although possibly not right now.. or right here.” suggested Patmac. This was America afterall, and who knew what might happen. It might be safer to wait til they were back in the UK, then Sugar could borrow Witchy Rachel’s scalpel, if she decided to follow Auntie Pat’s advice, although an aspirin might be less gruesome.

"Why were do you girls want to go?" Hilda looked at them keenly.
“Disney!” the trio replied in unison.
“And Starbucks!” supplemented Vikki, she needed a caffeine fix of a mocha skinny fat latte with cream.
“Right then Elvis or Mickey.” Patmac grinned. “Decisions Decisions!”
“Or a day at the pool?”
Jennie thought she might prefer that.

“Spoilsport!” laughed Auntie Pat. “Anyway, this trip was your idea Jennie.”
“No, if you look on the CBB when we get back, you will see I suggested North Carolina.”
“Wonder if the CBB will still be there when we get back.”
Patmac had noticed it had gone AWOL a few times lately.
“We can do NC tomorrow.” Sue supplied, although she quite fancied Texas.
“We were going to North Carolina til the Abbess got us lost!” Lesley interrupted, thinking next time she might bring Nell instead.

“Flip a coin for it.” suggested Sue in an attempt to get the conversation back on track.
“What a good idea Susan. Use my coin.” Hilda smiled agreeably.
Lesley looked at Hilda, something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t decide what it was.
“Lisa, you’re the youngest.. heads or tails.”
“Heads please.”

Sue flipped and caught the coin quickly. “Heads.. it is!”
“YAY! We can meet Mickey!”
squeed Patmac.
Jennie looked at her friend.
“I mean the girls can meet Mickey. Obviously, I wouldn’t want to meet a cartoon character.” Patmac amended her statement.
Jennie looked sceptical.

Suddenly Lesley’s brain caught up with itself. “May I see the coin Sue?”
She removed the coin from Sues palm and glared. “That double headed coin AGAIN!”

Author:  patmac [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl:

I didn't mean it! To h**l with dignity :!: I wanna meet Mickey!

Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  JackieP [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:58 pm ]
Post subject: 

*giggles*

*sulks*

'snot fair everone else meeting Mickey....

Thanks Sugar....

JackieP

Author:  Xanthe [ Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :help: :rofl:

*is broken from the laughing*

Sugar, ma mie, you are mad as a rollerblading goat on toast. Wearing a silly hat. (Am meaning the goat, not the toast. But on second thoughts, possibly hats all round at this level of utterly mental...)

Author:  Kathy_S [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:58 am ]
Post subject: 

Thank you, Sugar. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Lisa, get back here and finish the rhyme.
The last version I saw* stopped with
Quote:
Edward Seven was next and soon,
We'll put George Five upon the throne.


*in The Other Side of the Sun, Madeleine L'Engle.
It also had "James the vain" rhyming with "James again," but ken rhymes lots better in my dialect :)

Author:  Lesley [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:21 am ]
Post subject: 

But I want to see Mickey too - not interested in silly Elvis! :cry:

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar. Madness!

Author:  Sugar [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

A bit more!

A little later the intrepid explorers arrived at the theme park.

“Has everyone got a partner?”
Hilda counted. “Two, Four, Six Eight..”
“Who do we appreciate?”
Vikki grinned.
“Difficult one” mused Lisa.

Sugar looked undecided. Aunty Sue had the pokey sticks also known as knitting needles, Aunty Pat had her money and passport: she wasn’t trusted after Kate’s dog Gretchen had found her passport under the coffee table, and Jennie had her cigarettes. She thought Lesley was a safe bet. Keeping on the right side of Lesley was important if she didn’t want to walk back to the hotel.

“Decide later!” Vikki decided.
“Righto everyone croc in!” Jennie was in charge.
Sugar scowled. “We’re not Upper Fourth Jennie”
“No you’re more trouble than First Formers!”
She hadn’t forgotten Vikki hiding in the overhead cabin on the plane, or Lisa fluttering her eyelashes at the male cabin crew.
“Where are we going first?” Aunty Pat slurped her drink.
“That way!” Jennie pointed towards the Castle and turned Hilda’s site map the right way up and they moved off en masse to the ever present click click of Vikki’s camera.

A few hour’s later as the group met back up the chaperones could see that Vikki had been crying, Sugar had a black eye and Lisa was wearing a Minnie Mouse headband.

“What happened?”
“Are you ok Vikki?”
“Lisa! Do you have ANY idea what you look like?”

“They wouldn’t let Vikki play in the “Honey I shrunk the kids” playground”
explained Sugar.
“Too small?” Lesley guessed shrewdly
“And then we caught the wheel of Sugar’s wheelchair in the tram track and she fell out!"
“Heaven’s!”
exclaimed Hilda squinting at Sugar, wondering if there really were cartoon stars above her head.
“Think I’ll try walking next time!”
“You might have been safer in a motorised scooter after all Sugar!”
Auntie Pat grinned.
“No way!” Auntie Sue shuddered.

“Where did you get that headband Lisa?” Jennie admired it.
“Mickey Mouse gave it to me…” Lisa giggled. “After he stood on my foot!”
“He only stood on your foot after you pulled his tail!”
“Didn’t”
Lisa looked at the chaperones warily.
“Did so….. I have proof!” Vikki waved her digital camera in Lisa’s face. “And the camera never lies!”

Patmac looked at Lisa. Lisa wilted. She had forgotten Patmac had gone to buy a Mickey Mouse teddy for her new American grandson and had joined them in the queue to meet Mickey in his big tent. She had said they needed a chaperone even when meeting Mickey but the girls had realised that she was more excited than they were. Sugar found having a wheelchair was a perk as they got fast-tracked through the queue, to the annoyance of all the Japanese tourists and the memory of Patmac grinning at Mickey Mouse whilst having a cuddle would be priceless.

“Look what I bought the baby….”
“Like we couldn’t see it already.”
Sue laughed. Patmac had bought the largest possible teddy she could find.
“You didn’t go to see Mickey with the girls did you, Patmac?” Jennie quizzed.
“Errmmm noooooooo”
“Strange you are on the group photo then.”
Pat peered at Vikki’s camera.
“Must be a trick of the light.” Patmac grinned: she might be a grandmother but she loved Mickey Mouse!

“Are we going on the rollercoaster’s now?” Auntie Pat asked eagerly. She had been eying up ‘Big Thunder Mountain Railroad’ all day and knew Hilda had been doing the same.
“Can do” replied Sue laconically
“If they let Vikki on….” Lisa and Sugar smirked. A inch and half was a lot when you were taller!

“If they let you on Sugar…” Lesley warned. Lesley was reading the ‘Do not ride’ warning signs. “No sorry, we aren’t risking it, not with your back. I’ll buy you a icecream while we wait.”
“You go Lesley…” pleaded Sugar, ushering the others towards the entrance.
Lesley looked grim. “You need a chaperone Sugar.” Who knew what was going on inside Sugar’s head. And Lesley needed a reason to avoid the ride.

“I’ll look after her,” there was a squeak beside them and there stood a lifesize dwarf with a minder.
Lesley assented. After all how much danger could she be in? It was only a rollercoaster and that was only a dwarf.

As Sugar waited with the dwarf, they others lined up patiently for their turn on the rollercoaster. Settling into the carriages, they paired up, not paying much attention to where they sat with, Lesley and Hilda taking the backseats of the ride. Notoriously the worst of the ride, had they only known it. A few minutes the group came out of the exit and the conversation was buzzing.

“Awesome!”
“Wow!”
“Feel icky”
Sue gulped her water.
“I lost my wig!” Auntie Pat exclaimed, fishing in her bag for the spare 'platinum Lego-head' wig.
“Need a smoke.” Jennie was lighting up.
“Can we go again?” Hilda was thrilled, and her grammar went out of the window!

“Nooooooooo!” Lesley moaned weakly, turning an alarming shade of green, that people had previously only seen her sport in a panto appearance as Shrek!

Lesley needed a quiet dark room and if she couldn’t tell Hilda what to do who could?

But she had so wanted to meet Mickey.

Author:  Pat [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

You are evil Sugar!!! And you'd never EVER catch me on a rollercoaster! I might enjoy building the things in Rollercoaster Tycoon, but riding them is another thing!!!!

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:42 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar, wonderful.

Author:  Lesley [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

But I'd loooovve Thunder Mountain! :lol:

You are in trouble Sugar :evil:


*Let's see - Sugar teaches some of the Kindergarten in RCS doesn't she...*

Author:  Pat [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

And she tempted providence at Christmas! Do you think she deserves a mention by a certain group of seasonal drabblers? :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

:halo:

Author:  Liane [ Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:08 am ]
Post subject: 

This is fantastic Sugar.
More please :lol:

Author:  Kat [ Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

*chokes on my bacon & eggs*

Tehehehehehe! :lol:

Author:  Carolyn P [ Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Erm yes!! :shock:

Author:  Sugar [ Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:58 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just a snippet tonight.

“Hello you people!”
“Kathy! What a lovely surprise!”
What are you doing here?”
“My sister doesn’t live far away, we came for a day trip.”

The crowd exchanged hugs and news with Kathy, who after sending her sister a text, decided to spend the day with them.
“Where’s Alan?” Kathy looked round for Patmac’s husband.
“At a museum. He decided against joining a gaggle of girls at the mall. But I have his VISA!”
“Ohhhh!”
Everyone exclaimed.
“I know!”
“Let’s go!”
“Where first?”
Jennie asked unnecessarily.
“BOOKSHOP!” They chorused.


A few hours later, the shop assistant was getting agitated. Barnes and Noble wasn’t supposed to look like a cyclone had torn threw it. The woman in the ‘Pauline Fowler’ wig had read the blurb on nearly every book in the shop
and discarded them randomly, and she had said she was a librarian too. A likely story!

The red-headed lady, had taken ALL the Pern books to the check out, there was a trail of wool around the building, which gave indication of where Sue had been: Adult literature, Knitting and Craft and back to the Adult section again, and the skinny girl had spent most of the day in the lift and her sister had taken pictures of every book in the shop, whilst her other sister had sat studiously in the history dept reading Austrian history of all things, whereas the white-haired lady, sat with their American friend, discussing Chelsea and her daredevil adventures.

“Ladies, Ladies, I’m sorry y’all but the stores closing. Here is your bill.” she looked at the clock gratefully.
“Pop it onto the VISA, please.” Patmac handed over the card.
“Are you sure Ma’am, All of it?” the girl questioned.
“Why not.” Patmac laughed. Alan couldn’t say anything – she’d saved him the money on the flights after all.
“Right, I must get home to my sisters.” Kathy looked glum. She wanted to with them on the rest of their trip.
“Ohhh crumbs.. what’s the time?” Lesley looked at the clock.
“My flight!” Patmac shrieked.
“Have a nice day now!” drawled the cashier.

As the group made their way to the car park Patmac glanced at the receipt. Alan’s going to kill me, she thought as she dropped the receipt into a nearby bin!

"Who’s driving?” Lesley dangled the keys in front of her.
“Me!” Sugar grabbed the keys and got in the car.
Suddenly the back door opened and Sue got out, closely followed by everyone else.
“But I can drive! I have a licence and everything! And my car has “go faster” stripes too!"

Sue raised an eyebrow. “Sweetie, those aren’t “go faster stripes”….they are “going too fast and scratched the barrier stripes” and I’d really like to survive!”
Aunty Pat giggled and Hilda’s eyes popped out of her head alarmingly.

“Tell you what…. I’ll drive!” decided Vikki ousting Sugar from the drivers seat and scrambling in. “I have a licence… it has points and everything.”
“Right, let’s get cracking or poor Patmac will miss her flight” Jennie smiled at Patmac.
Suddenly Vikki got out and offered the keys to the group.
“S’matter Vikki?” said Lisa.
“Can’t reached the blooming pedals!” Vikki sighed.

Suddenly Alan arrived in the car park of the mall. “I’m driving, give me the keys please Vikki.” “Bravo!” Hilda exclaimed.
“Step on it love, or we’ll be late for the flight.” Patmac instructed and Alan stepped on the gas and the van zoomed away in a cloud of dust.

Author:  PaulineS [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:13 am ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:wink: :wink:


:witch: :witch:

Author:  Lesley [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:22 am ]
Post subject: 

Love it - that poor cashier will never be the same - and I hope Patmac's nowhere in the vicinity when the Visa bill comes through for Alan! :lol:


Thanks Sugar.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

This is great fun, Sugar [from another old enough to be a 'chaperone' :lol: ]

Author:  Vikki [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

You know, whatever Sugar is on, I think I want some!!!!

Totally utterly mad, but very clever and VERY funny!!! :lol: :lol:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thank you, Sugar. :D :D :D

Author:  Jennie [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

More, please, Sugar.

Author:  Vick [ Sun Mar 16, 2008 11:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just found this :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks Sugar :D

Author:  leahbelle [ Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar :lol: .

Author:  Sugar [ Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hope you are enjoying this! I have no idea where it is going though.

The morning had dawned crisp in New York, a coin had been tossed to decide the programme for the day and no one had been lost..yet.

“But I wanna see Mickey” Lesley’s lip wobbled dangerously and a tear slid down her cheek.
“He might be at the top of the Empire State Building Lesley.”
“You think?” Lesley looked hopeful
“No!” giggled Lisa
Lesley sulked.
“We’re not going up there are we?” Auntie Pat paled. She hated heights. She was going to kill Sugar. Slowly!
“Awww Auntie Pat you look like a slice of under-done white bread!” Vikki was sympathetic. She wasn’t mad keen on heights either.
“It’ll be ok Auntie Pat, just don’t look down.” Sugar smiled.

The party paid for their tickets and moved towards the lifts.

“Don’t like lifts” Sugar looked scared.
“Am I boovvered?” Auntie Pat gave her best Catherine Tate impression.
“Yeah but no but yeah” Sugar was flustered.
“In!” Auntie Pat was adamant.
They had crowded into the lift when the lift operator objected.
“Sorry ladies one too many, one of you will have to get the next ride up.”Hilda stepped out of the lift. “I’ll walk up, the exercise will do me good!”
“Just wait for the next…”
the lift door shut as the operator was talking.

Within seconds the lift shuddered to a stop at the top of the empire state building and Hilda was waiting for them.

“Hilda! How on earth did you get up here faster than us!”
Jennie exclaimed.
“She apparated like Harry Potter.” Lisa was certain of it.
Hilda laughed. “I seem to have been caught up in the Canadian running teams practice” She pointed to the staircase where young energetic women were racing up and down the stairs at alarming speed. “Your friend Chelsea sends her love but she couldn’t stop.”

“What are we going to do up here?” Sue wondered.
“Look at the view.” Suggested Lesley.
Sue looked, “Sky and clouds… Lovely."
Jennie dropped a quarter into the telescope machine. “Ohh more sky and BIG clouds! And a seagull!”
“Riveting.” Auntie Pat was stuck to the spot.
“Too frightened to move Pat?” Lesley offered her arm.
“No, some little sod has dropped chewing gum and it’s stuck to my shoe!”

Author:  Jennie [ Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:29 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderful last line. Thanks, Sugar.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: especially at Hilda & at the last line

It doesn't matter where it's going Sugar - just keep it going as long as you can :wink:

Author:  Pat [ Mon Mar 17, 2008 11:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

That's great Sugar. So is the view from the Empire State Building. I have some wonderful pics from up there.

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:01 am ]
Post subject: 

Super Hilda!!!!


Thanks Sugar. :lol:

Author:  Jennie [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 2:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Now, what sort of havoc can we create at the top of the Empire State building?

Author:  Pat [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

Problem with causing trouble up there is that there are security people wandering around it!!! They'd be onto anything immediately.

Author:  Kat [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm sure you'll be able to distract them, GAP!

Author:  Pat [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

Have you seen US security men?!!!! :roll: :roll:

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Enjoy! Usual Disclaimers!! Have written some more but you'll have to wait!

Slightly later in the day, the group were back in the van, having diverted a near crisis after Jennie left her bag unattended and the burly US security men had swarmed in like bees after honey. The distraction techniques of Auntie Pat proved fruitless and she wondered if she’d lost the knack.

“Victoria sit down!” Hilda spoke very quietly.
“Lisa. If I have told you once, I have told you 10 times!” Auntie Pat glared
“S*****! Pack it in! NOW!” Aunty Sue bellowed from the back of the van.
Aunty Sue used her real name. Sugar sat down.
“Haha, Sugar’s in trouble!!” Vikki taunted and Lisa stuck her tongue out.
“You all will be in a minute if you don’t sit down!” Jennie decreed as she negotiated a right hand turn.
As the girls sat down, Lesley stood up and stuck her head through the sunroof.
“Wooohooo!” She cried.
“Lesley, you are SUPPOSED to be setting an example to the girls.” Pat admonished grabbing Lesley down.
“I am!” said Lesley with difficulty, “a bad one!”

Meanwhile Vikki and Lisa were trying to solve a riddle.

“Cheddar?” mused Vikki
“Gorgonzola?” Suggested Lisa
“Melton Mowbray?” Vikki again.
“That’s pies not cheese!” Sugar giggled.
“Edam?” Lisa wracked her brains.
“Nooo” Sugar thought about it. “Softer than that.”
“What are they trying to guess?”
Sue asked Jennie.
Jennie looked askance. “No idea, sometimes it’s better not to know!”
“True”
agreed Sue as she counted stitches for the project of doom.

“Trying to remember where Patmac was flying too.” replied Sugar, “Something to to do with cheese.”
“Philadelphia!”
supplied Sue helpfully.
“That’s it! She’s not flying in from there though.” Sugar knew this. “Something to do with dancing.” She mimed, moving her hands in a circular movement.
Pat could see a theme developing.
“Ohhh I love charades.” exclaimed Hilda.
“2nd syllable… sounds like?” asked Sue cheekily.

Suddenly, Jennie slammed on the brakes! There was a plane plummeting down out of the sky in front of them.


“What the…”
“Mother of ……..!”
Sugar grabbed the Vikki.
“Aren’t you glad you sat down now Lesley?”
“Yup!”
Lesley had no desire to be decapitated before dinner.
“Heaven’s above!” exclaimed Hilda, as suddenly a figure leapt from the plane, opening a multicoloured parachute and landed a few metres from the vehicle.

Lesley wrenched open the door and ran over closely followed by Hilda.

“My GOD! Patmac!!” Lesley was speechless. “How did you..? What did you…? You might have been killed!”
“And how did you know where to find us?”
“Well if Karl Linders could do it with a parcel on a dark night in 1940-something, I was damn sure I could do it with myself in daylight in 2008!"
Patmac grinned at Hilda.

“I always wondered how he did that!”
“Magic
” suggested Lesley. Magic was the answer to every odd EBD occurrence!
“Must have been” agreed Hilda.
“Where were you flying from?” Lesley asked Patmac as she helped her remove the parachute.
“Charleston”
“Charleston?”
Hilda looked puzzled. “But that’s nothing to do with dancing!”
“What’s dancing got to do with it?”
Patmac was confused.
“Everything, according to Sugar!”

Patmac grimaced. The world according to Sugar was a truly bizarre place.

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar wrote:
As the girls sat down, Lesley stood up and stuck her head through the sunroof.
“Wooohooo!” She cried.
“Lesley, you are SUPPOSED to be setting an example to the girls.” Pat admonished grabbing Lesley down.
“I am!” said Lesley with difficulty, “a bad one!”


Got that right then! :lol:


Thanks Sugar. :wink:


(Edited because, as far as I'm concerned, I spelt Sugar with a t :roll: )

Author:  Pat [ Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar wrote:

Patmac grimaced. The world according to Sugar was a truly bizarre place.


How very true!!! :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

Some more! More later maybe

Music blared out of Sue’s ipod speakers and Jennie who had her hair in rollers, was opening another bottle of Lambrini and poured Patmac a slosh or 3 into a toothmug.
“Jennie, you look just like Hilda!” Vikki laughed.
“She looks like nothing like me!” Hilda looked at Jennie
She means Hilda Ogden – it’s the rollers!” Patmac laughed, applying lipstick that matched her dress.

Just then Lesley came out of the bathroom, inching her gold lame halter neck dress down.
“Lesley Anne Green. You are not going out like that!” Hilda was horrified
Jennie looked at Lesley. “Lesley, it barely covers your …”
“Knees!”
interrupted Sugar quickly.
“But I bought it specially… and it’s a size zero too! Look at the label!”
“Looks great Lesley… are you wearing the Minnie headband too?”
Vikki asked.
“Wasn’t going to – just used it to keep my hair out of the way while I put my mascara on.” Lesley began taking it off.
“No leave it, it adds a certain je ne sais quoi” Vikki suggested.
“I don’t know what.. is about right!” Jennie rolled her eyes.

“Are we all ready?” Sue was untangling her knitting from her sequins.
“Think so… just waiting for Auntie Pat, she was having wig woe the last time I saw her.” Vikki answered.
“Auntie Pat, get a move on! We’ll miss happy hour!” Lisa banged on the door of the 3rd bathroom.

“Coming!” Pat stuck her head out. “Which wig girls… Marylou?” She emerged with ginger Kenwigses. “Or Joey?” She re-emerged with black earphones.
“Neither, the resemblance is uncanny! And I never liked either of them!” Hilda shuddered. “The other one!”
“Okay!”
Pat went back into the bathroom and emerged with a pink Mohican with lime green stripes.
“Much better! It matches your eyeshadow.”
“Good!” Auntie Pat grinned, feeling like Nymphodora Tonks.
“Cab’s here!” Sugar had been watching the window.

A few minutes later, they walked up to the entrance of the bar and a bouncer stopped them.

“If your name isn’t on the list you ain’t coming in!” He barked ferociously. “And Grandma’s not coming in at all!” He looked at Hilda.
Lesley bristled. No one insulted Hilda and got away with it! She clouted him with her handbag. He fell to the floor.
“Still, grey and to all appearances DEAD!!!” They chorused

“Nice one Lesley! What’s in your bag?” Sugar was curious.
Lesley opened it to show her. “A brick!”

Author:  Jennie [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:58 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderful, Sugar. Glad PatMac could drop in to see us again.

Author:  Liane [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

Fantastic Sugar!
Thanks

Author:  Lesley [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

*Choking at the idea that I could get anywhere near a size zero dress! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: *


Thanks Sugar.

Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

PaulineS wrote:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

wot she said - thanks, Sugar :lol:

Author:  Honeycomb [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
*Choking at the idea that I could get anywhere near a size zero dress! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: *





get two and use them as legwarmers? :wink:

*hides*

Author:  Jennie [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Honeycomb!!!!












Snickers wildly.

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

Glad people are enjoying this. I'm having great fun writing it. The research can wait. Might submit this instead!
I'msooo glad I have slid down Lesley's 'Most Wanted' List!


Suddenly the bouncer was beside them.
“Oooh OK not so dead then.” Sue quipped.

“Distract him!” Hilda hissed. “Pat, Give me those kenswigses! Quick!” Hilda transformed her look instantly.
“If your name isn’t on the list you aren’t coming in!” the bouncer wimpered pathetically.
“Annersley Green – party of nine.” Hilda counted quickly.
He looked at the list. “Alright in you go darling.” He smiled pinching Hilda’s bottom as she went past!

“Annersley Green? Where the piggin hell did THAT come from?” Jennie exclaimed as they walked up the stairs.
“Fusion of Hilda and Lesley…. Sounded more classy than Hesley!” giggled Sugar.
“or Lilda!” Vikki was laughing so hard she had stitch.
“Sugar…….. are you supposed to drink on your pain medication?” Hilda looked at Sugar with concern.
“Who cares? Leave her alone!... I’m loving this!”

“Right, now we are in here, who wants a drink?”
Pat asked, while the three younger girls headed for the dance floor with Lesley who was determined dancing around her handbag was the way to go!

Meanwhile, Patmac had been admiring Sue’s red sparkly stilettos.
“Ohhh I like those!” she shrilled as they found a table. “They’d suit my little red dress no end!”
“Mitts off!”
Sue glared. “They’re mine!... well they are now!”

Jennie wondered if she dared ask. These chaperones were more hassle than they were worth.
“You never stole them!”

Patmac grabbed Sue’s leg and put her shoe on the table to get a better look.
“No idiot!” Sue laughed, “Wotshername Thingy had them on when the house fell on her”
“Go on…”
Jennie was intrigued.
“Well after I climbed out of the window, Glinda realised I had lost my shoes so she gave them these instead.”
“GLINDA!”
Patmac shrieked.
“Yep!”
“Glinda, the good witch… that Glinda?” Jennie was amazed.
“Well obviously!”
Sue swallowed the urge to add “D’oh!”
“How many Glinda’s d’ya think I know?”
Jennie was still amazed. “But how?”
“Ahh Jennie don’t worry about the specifics.”
Sue knew Glinda from Fairy Godmother classes.

“Do they work?”
“Not the foggiest”
Sue was cross she’d not though to try it out.
“Try it!” Patmac nodded “Wish for something!” Sue thought hard. And clicked Three times. “I feel like Dorothy!”

Suddenly over towards the dance floor there was a lime green smoke explosion with fireworks.
“Ohhh pretty!” Lisa watched
“Ohh yes! Thanks Auntie Pat,” Sugar accepted a jug of pimms. “A whole jug?”Pat nodded “Patmac liberated Alan’s VISA again!”
“Man alert!”
Vikki squeed. “3-O’clock!” They turned en masse.
“Don’t all look at once!” she said too late.
“He walking to our table!”
“What?”
“He is!... Look!”

“Stupid shoes!”
“Didn’t they work?”
Patmac looked sad. “What did you wish for?”
“Martini, Guy, and a computer battery!”
A computer battery?”
Patmac was puzzled.
“Tis cold by the patio door and I can’t see the telly!”
"That's three things! No wonder it didn't work!"
"I know I got greedy!"


“Ahem” there was a soft cough beside Sue.
Sue swallowed a squee. “Sue, nice to see you! I bought you a computer battery and I thought you might need a martini!” Guy smiled.

Sue looked at him, gawping like a stranded fish. Lovely lovely shoes!

Behind her she heard Sugar whisper. “Close your mouth Auntie Susan. You could catch flies!”
Sue closed her mouth but not before she squeed!

Author:  Catherine [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

Completely Crackers ... and very funny! :rofl:

Thanks, Sugar.

Author:  Jennie [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:08 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderful, Sugar.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderful!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Thanks Sugar

just pipped! - thought I was going to be first to post :(

Author:  Pat [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonder what Sue will say to that!!!

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

Pat wrote:
Wonder what Sue will say to that!!!


never thought of that! :oops: Might hide!

Author:  Pat [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

Bit late for that Sugar!!!

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar wrote:
Glad people are enjoying this. I'm having great fun writing it. The research can wait. Might submit this instead!
I'm sooo glad I have slid down Lesley's 'Most Wanted' List!


You haven't, you know - you have a class all your own...

Author:  Pat [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
Sugar wrote:
Glad people are enjoying this. I'm having great fun writing it. The research can wait. Might submit this instead!
I'm sooo glad I have slid down Lesley's 'Most Wanted' List!


You haven't, you know - you have a class all your own...


Oh yes! On a parallel with Vikki in my opinion!!!!

Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
At both the drabble and the responses!!!!

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
Sugar wrote:
Glad people are enjoying this. I'm having great fun writing it. The research can wait. Might submit this instead!
I'm sooo glad I have slid down Lesley's 'Most Wanted' List!


You haven't, you know - you have a class all your own...


Yes thanks for those private coaching sessions Lesley! %They really helped!

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sorry for spreeing but I thought you might like some more! edited for the typo cos "someone" was fussy!

A few hours later the group arrived back at the hotel and Lesley had ordered hot chocolate and biscuits for everyone, with a flask of hot milk on standby in case anyone had problems sleeping or nightmares and people were changing into their PJs and brushing their hair a hundred times ready for bed.

“Who’s is that mouthwash? The minty one?”
Vikki asked as she came out of the third bathroom. “It’s nice.”
“It’s mine!”
Auntie Pat looked at Vikki,“
And it’s not mouthwash … it’s crème de menthe!... we ran out of cups earlier!”
“No wonder it’s nice then!”
Vikki grinned.
She curled up on the bed, cuddling Honeycomb who was shaking rather alarmingly. “It’s ok, I have hidden Lesley’s penknife. She’s not going to hurt you.”

Honeycomb relaxed. It didn’t do to upset Lesley and teddy bear’s often met a sticky end at the gathers.*

Lesley came out of the bathroom in her fluffy dressing gown, frothing alarmingly at the mouth.

“Someone left crème de menthe in the bathroom so I drank it..seemed a shame to waste it!”

Patmac started rocking with the most dangerous type of silent laughter as Vikki reached for her camera and took some pictures. Shrek in panto had nothing on this!

“What?” Lesley looked puzzled “And where are these bloomin bubbles coming from??”

Sugar had stitch and Lisa had slid off the bed inelegantly.
Auntie Pat swallowed her near hysteria and tried to speak. And failed.

“You just look so funny!” Sue giggled as she eased her sparkling shoes off.
“For heaven’s sake! I can’t take you lot anywhere!” Jennie opened the patio to the balcony to have a smoke.
“Don’t jump Jennie!” Hilda was as amused as the others.

Finally, Auntie Pat managed to compose herself. “Lesley, that wasn’t crème de menthe! You fool! It was MOUTHWASH!!!!

* for those of you that don't know Rachel the Witch carved into a teddy cake at the first gather with a scalpel.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

Brilliant :rofl:

*and I think I am first this time :smug:*

Author:  BethC [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

Utterly, utterly mad! :lol: :lol:

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:42 pm ]
Post subject: 

I object!!!! I would definitely know the difference between mouthwash and creme de menthe!

Author:  Pat [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm so glad to hear that Lesley! :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
I object!!!! I would definitely know the difference between mouthwash and creme de menthe!


Objection noted Your Honour!

want a bit more?

Author:  Caroline OSullivan [ Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :lol:
Thank you so much Sugar :D I've now got a stitch from laughing so much :D

Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:19 am ]
Post subject: 

Sugar, you are insane.


Do you any idea how odd it feels being the one who says that? :lol: :lol: I hooted so loudly my housemate looked slightly worried when she came down to talk to me. I love the vision of Pat in a Pauline Fowler wig... and poor Vikki, still being victimised because of being er, ... vertically challenged. I especially loved the line about her being too small for the HISTK!

But one leeetle question: how did I end up as one of the crazy gang?

Author:  Sugar [ Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:34 am ]
Post subject: 

Lisa_T wrote:
Sugar, you are insane.

But one leeetle question: how did I end up as one of the crazy gang?


One leetle answer: Readthe TITLE! It's a big hint!
You are one the crazy gang anyway! You wrote Tara

Author:  Catherine [ Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:52 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar wrote:
She curled up on the bed, cuddling Honeycomb who was shaking rather alarmingly. “It’s ok, I have hidden Lesley’s penknife. She’s not going to hurt you.”
Honeycomb relaxed. It didn’t do to upset Lesley and teddy bear’s often met a sticky end at the gathers.*
* for those of you that don't know Rachel the Witch carved into a teddy cake at the first gather with a scalpel.



And wasn't Honeycomb dropped out of the window at the 2nd Gather?!


Thanks Sugar! :D

Author:  Billie [ Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Author:  Pat [ Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:17 pm ]
Post subject: 

Catherine wrote:
Sugar wrote:
She curled up on the bed, cuddling Honeycomb who was shaking rather alarmingly. “It’s ok, I have hidden Lesley’s penknife. She’s not going to hurt you.”
Honeycomb relaxed. It didn’t do to upset Lesley and teddy bear’s often met a sticky end at the gathers.*
* for those of you that don't know Rachel the Witch carved into a teddy cake at the first gather with a scalpel.



And wasn't Honeycomb dropped out of the window at the 2nd Gather?!

Thanks Sugar! :D


He had a flying lesson!!!

Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 3:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Amazing how much has happened since I last escaped work. :D :lol:

Thank you, Sugar.

Author:  Sugar [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:12 pm ]
Post subject: 

This was written before Auntie Pat took her revenge. I haven't changed anything! There won't be anymore til next week though.

Eventually, the hysteria calmed down, although occasionally the odd giggle escaped from Vikki and Sugar. The conversation was like that at any Gather: current drabbles, knitting, people who couldn’t be there.

“Auntie Patmac, can you pass me a biscuit please?” Lisa asked. “Choccie one.”
Patmac offered the box that Sue had produced after deciding the hotel supplied ones were substandard.
“You’ve already brushed your teeth! But so have we all!”
“Is she really your Aunt?”
Hilda wondered idly. She knew Sue and Pat had a veritable selection of nieces and great nieces, as she herself had but she’d never heard anyone call Patmac Aunt before.

Lisa started laugh. “No, we aren’t genetically related, it was a leg pull, when Patmac first joined the board. She sold me some of her EBD’s and I introduced her to the board.”
“Pity!”
“You’re not getting the books back now!”
Lisa loved her collection and they looked so nice on her bookshelf.
“Don’t worry.”
“Don’t think there’s anyone else who fits the bill.”
Vikki thought about it.

“Auntie Lesley… will you read us a bedtime story?” Sugar yawned.
“Sugar…”
“mmmmm”
“My name is Lesley and you can call me …… Lesley!”
“Yes Lesley”
Sugar decided not to push her luck anymore.

“Will you read us a story though please?” Lisa asked.
“Don’t see why not.” Lesley began her story.
“ A Joey-basher?” pleaded Jennie.
“A Mary-Lou basher?” pleaded Hilda. “Awww go on Lesley! Go on Go on Go on!” Hilda did an uncanny Mrs Doyle impression.
“An RCS update?” A new voice spoke.
“Arggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Patmac jumped a mile.
“Helena Wilson!”
“It’s me Hilda, large as life and twice as pretty!
“But how?”
Sue looked at the door which was locked.
“Where did you come from?” Hilda smiled and slipped off Sue’s red shoes.
“I have absolutely no idea, but could we carry on with bedtime drabble. Much obliged.” Nell grinned at Lesley who started again.

“Once upon a time… Nell Wilson and Hilda Annersley bashed Joey Bettany and Mary Lou Trelawny on the heads with mallets and buried them under the patio.”
"Yay!!" The audience cheered.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: This just gets better and better! :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks, Sugar

Author:  Lesley [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Love the idea that Nell just appeared!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: x infinity!


Thanks Sugar :wink:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 7:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

Oh good, Nell. :D

****
"Really," said Joey, miniaturizing her supersonic spade and adding it to the array of hairpins in her earphones. "This is getting a bit tedious."
"Third time this week," Mary-Lou fumed. "And every head injury, my hair gets curlier. I never thought I'd become dependent on – hair straighteners."
"Perhaps it's time we paid a little visit." :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 7:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

OI! Who's writing this drabble???!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Dawn [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 7:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


well I needed to catch up on commenting on this :oops:

Author:  Pat [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderful! Thanks Sugar.

Author:  PaulineS [ Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well Sugar you said we would have to wait for an update, so you should not be suprised someone else decided to update for you.

Author:  crystaltips [ Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

So glad I found this one!
:lol: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  Jennie [ Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

Fantastic, Sugar.

Author:  Sugar [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:48 am ]
Post subject: 

Bit more!

Sugar buried herself in her hoodie, she was freezing and the wind off the sea was cutting. She concentrated and suddenly the sun came out and the wind dropped. She smiled. Briefly. The day had not begun well for her….

“mine mine mine!”
squawked the seagulls.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Sugar was frozen to the spot.
“Sugar, what’s the matter?” Lesley was concerned, she’d never seen Sugar quite so distressed.
“Seagulls.” mumbled Sugar.
“Ohhh heck! She’s terrified of them!” Vikki remembered
“Of seagulls?” Lisa looked at the harmless birds.
“Yes, it was her interesting fact at a Gather. I think one ate a hotdog out of her hand once!”
“Ouch!”
Lisa baulked
“Come on, let’s get off the boat. It’s just docked! Then we can get inside quickly” suggested Auntie Pat with an eye to Sugar.

As they walked up the mountain path the group talked quietly slighted overwhelmed with their location.

“Is there a height restriction?” asked Nell.
“In here?”
“I’d very much doubt it!.. It’s hardly an amusement park Nell.”
Hilda replied.
“Indeed.” Nell shuddered and Sugar held on tighter. A Queen’s chair from the Head’s was an honour, but she didn’t really want to be dropped.
“I do not want to loose anyone off the side of the cliff!” Jennie looked at Lesley. “And if you encourage anyone Lesley! I’ll take your headband away!”

Everyone knew Lesley often encouraged abseiling or freefalling off cliffs and people had been known to perish, before safety measures were put in place by JackieP. The group paid the entrance fee and were escorted into the main courtyard to wait for a tour.

Jennie adjusted her sunglasses and swallowed a couple of pills. She had a headache. She thought she’d get a decent night’s kip on holiday away from the neighbours and their nocturnal shrieks. But it seemed not. They had even woken Vikki and Sugar. Jennie laughed to herself as she remembered their late night whisperings.

“Do you think it might be Joey and Jack?”
Vikki giggled.
“Give over! In America?”
“Might be!”
“If they are in America I’ll eat my words”
Sugar scoffed. “Anyway we all know the stork brings the Maynard kids.”
“They grow in the cabbage patch!”
“But Jack dug up the cabbage patch!”
“It grew back!”
Sugar grinned as she remembered the dolls from her childhood. She’d always wanted one but her Mum said no. “Do you think they had a heart on their bum like the dolls?”
“That wasn’t cabbage patch kids – it was Care Bears!”
Vikki giggled.

Jennie did wonder about those two sometimes!
Suddenly, they heard “Ooooh Dwayne I loves you I does!..... Ohhh Brittany!!” Jennie scowled. It really had been her neighbours.

The group moved off to follow the tour guide who was pointing out artefacts and specialised features of the buildings.
“Spooky isn’t it.” Sugar shuddered.
“Better be a good girl then!” Pat grinned at her.
“Already am a good girl!!” smiled Sugar.
Hilda smiled. Everyone knew Sugar was deluded.

“These are the hand cuffs and leg irons used in the prison” the tour guide held up a pair.
“Ohhhhhhhhhh!” Lisa looked impressed.
“Those are rubbish looking.” Vikki thought the Ann Summers ones looked better. They were pink and fluffy.
“Smut Queen!” Lisa laughed.
“Moi?” Vikki looked up innocently.
“Have you been practicing that look for a long time Vikki?” Nell thought she might have taken a picture if she’d been allowed her camera but the security guard confiscated it. “If the wind changes you’ll be stuck like that.”

“I wanna see Mickey!”
Nell cried. She was annoyed she’d missed it.
“Wanna see Mickey.” Lesley murmured for the 24th time.
“Lesley, stop going ON!” Hilda turned to Lesley.
“Nell started it!”
“Didn’t!”
“Did!”
“Stop the pair of you!”
“But but I wanna see Mickeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”
“The next person who says that will find themselves in a cell.”
Jennie snapped. These Alka-seltzer weren’t all they were cracked up to be.
“I WANNA see MICKEYY!” Lesley yelled stamping her foot.

“ENOUGH!!” Jennie grabbed Lesley and pushed her into the first cell she saw.

“WE WANNA SEE MICKEY!” Pat and Sue cried, they weren’t being left out of the fun.
“We wanna see Mickey!” The Heads exclaimed
“We wanna see MINNIE!” the triumvirate took up a different call.

“I can’t take you people anywhere!” Jennie bundled all of them into the cell with Lesley and slammed the door too, without a second thought.

“Oops!”
muttered Auntie Pat as Jennie scurried off to re-join the tour guide.

Author:  Pat [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 

We're counting on you to get us out of here Lesley! You have the right kind of devious mind! :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Lesley [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:01 am ]
Post subject: 

Welcome to my cell, as you can all see this is the economy model and I have first dibs on the only bunk - you can all fight over the floor space! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Thanks Sugar.

Author:  Pat [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:02 am ]
Post subject: 

I claim age and infirmity! I have priority for the bed!! :twisted:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:36 am ]
Post subject: 

Surely someone carries lockpicks? :lol:

Thank you, Sugar. So glad "next week" was only a day away. :mrgreen:

Author:  Lesley [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:42 am ]
Post subject: 

Kathy_S wrote:
Surely someone carries lockpicks? :lol:

Thank you, Sugar. So glad "next week" was only a day away. :mrgreen:


It's possible - a certain friend of mine has been educating me about that aspect of prison life! :wink:

Author:  Sugar [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:20 am ]
Post subject: 

Some more. With apologises for any grammar mistakes etc etc.

The overhead light flickered as Lesley sat on the mattress attached to the wall.
“But I never said anything!” Patmac pouted
Sugar lent against the brick wall and sighed. “You ok Lise?” Lisa was looking peaky.
“Don’t like confined spaces and it’s dark” Lisa wibbled.
Vikki fished in her pocket for her phone and beamed the torch on the wall.
“Light!” Vikki moved her phone around wildly.
“Fantastic!” Patmac grinned.
“Is that a bit better?”
“Thanks Vikki, that’s much better”
smiled Hilda.
“Annersley I thought it was you.” A voice spoke from the other side of the cell.
Nell gasped as she recognised the voice, whilst Lesley wondered if she was dreaming.
“Butcher!” Hilda gasped. “What on earth are you doing here!?”
“It is a prison Annersley or hadn’t you noticed?”
“We had! The cells are a dead giveaway.”
Nell laughed
“Butcher!” Lesley gawped.

“It’s OK Green, Shaw’s here too. I haven’t done a bunk, although I ought to after you brought my mother in!”
Lesley sighed in relief. “Geri what’s going on?”
Geri moved out of the shadows. “We decided it would be wise to move Butcher temporarily whilst Ms Collingwood was being so insistent and as I had a prison tour to do it was decided Butcher should accompany me.”

“But what are you doing HERE!”
Sue interjected jabbing the wall with her knitting needle.
“Zackly,” Patmac queried “Its hardly a working prison.”
“Nooo, but it seemed our esteemed hosts thought it was suitable as a High Security Base for Butcher, and thus for me also.”
Geri looked unimpressed.
“We weren’t actually locked IN the cell till recently though.”
“Really? What happened?”
Lesley was intrigued.
“Well, some idiot shouted “I wanna see Mickey” at the top of her voice.” Butcher explained grinning.
Lesley looked sheepish.
“Are we really locked in?” Sue rattled the door and Lisa banged on the wall with her shoe and Lesley wondered idly about picking the lock.

“Which Mickey do you want to see?” Geri asked.
“How many famous Mickey’s are there?” Lesley asked, showing the back of her T-shirt where she had crossed out Elvis isn’t dead and written “I wanna see Mickey” with the iconic 3 circles head in permanent marker.

“Mickey Rooney” Vikki supplied. “Although he’s probably older than your Dad”
“Mickey Rourke” Nell suggested “Although he’s pig ugly.”
“Mickey Finn?”
giggled Patmac “I quite like him!”
“No, just Mickey
.” Lesley sighed.
Geri looked at Lesley strangely and lent over and whispered in her ear. Lesley turned redder than her hair! That wasn’t what she had meant at all. She was a good girl.
“I meant Mickey MOUSE!!!!” she burst into tears.
“Ahh well he’s prettier than Rourke” giggled Hilda.

The group settled down to wait for Jennie to return. Sue and Sugar were playing noughts and crosses and Patmac and Lisa were discussing the latest amendments to Lisa’s book which was due to be published soon by a leading GO publisher. Meanwhile, Butcher and Geri were discussing the next RCS update with Lesley,who had been usurped on the mattress by Auntie Pat, and the Heads were playing with the prison radio.

“See I told you Elvis wasn’t dead! I heard him on the radio.”
Lesley called across to them as Jailhouse Rock floated into the cell.
“Apt!” Hilda scowled.
“How are we going to get out of here?” Anyone?” Hilda illuminated her watch and saw the time.
“Jennie will be back in a bit, she won’t leave us here. I’ve got the car keys and Pat’s got the keys to the Villa.” Lesley wasn’t worried.
“Lesley, it’s gone 8pm! The last boat goes at 7.30pm.”
“She’s left us here overnight!”

Author:  Lesley [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:45 am ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

This is hilarious Sugar!

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Thanks for the updates

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Author:  PaulineS [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

O Help!!!! I suspect a cold night on a hard floor.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  Pat [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

PaulineS wrote:
O Help!!!! I suspect a cold night on a hard floor.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Don't forget that Lesley and Butcher are both there now!!

Author:  Sugar [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Pat wrote:
PaulineS wrote:
O Help!!!! I suspect a cold night on a hard floor. :rofl: :rofl:


Don't forget that Lesley and Butcher are both there now!!


YUP! And YOU have got the bed! And I know what happens next!

Author:  Kat [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Taunting us is mean!

So may we have some more please?

*wants to know what happens next*

Pretty please with choc on top? :D

Author:  Jennie [ Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

And a cherry!

Author:  Vikki [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hee hee!!

This just gets better with each post Sugar. :lol:

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

Glad people are still enjoying it!

“Not a chance!”
“She wouldn’t …would she?”
“Who is This?”
Butcher wondered.
“Jennie – Chaperone Extraordinaire!” Auntie Pat explained.
“She’s hardly a chaperone then… I can’t get rid of mine!” Butcher pointed at Geri.
“We aren’t criminals!” objected Sue. Then seeing Butcher’s face she whispered. “I never said that! I really didn’t. It wasn’t me!”

Luckily Butcher wasn’t listening but talking to Patmac, trying to get people’s names fixed.
What’s that one’s name?” she pointed to the slimest girl.
“Depends.” Patmac looked at her.
“What on?”
“Whether you want to live.”
Sue grinned.
“Well her name begins with S so we call her Sugar” Patmac continued.
“It’s the safest thing unless you want to risk loosing an eye.” Auntie Pat knew this from bitter experience.
“Sugar what?” Geri looked interested.
“Sugarplumfairy…. but I wouldn’t try that either.” Vikki knew it was a bad idea.
“OK,” Butcher looked at Sugar who had begun emitting sparks and smoke and decided she’d call her Sugar too: some people just weren’t to be upset.
"My name is Sugar! Capiche?"

“Aunty Sue, Are there any biccies?” Lisa was hungry and Sue obliged by reaching into her Mary Poppins-esque bag and producing a tin of McVities finest.
“McCavities?” Butcher read the label. “What a stupid name for biscuits.”
“It’s supposed to be McVities.”
Sue explained. “The spellcheck altered it and no one noticed so I got them for free!”

“SUGAR! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?” Sue looked up aware that Sugar hadn’t taken her share.
“I FELL OUT!” Sugar squirmed. Her body outside the cell but her head firmly lodged in the bars. She sighed. Why was it always Aunty Sue who caught her messing about. “My head’s stuck though!”
“Cut it off!”
Auntie Pat cried, miming a karate chop. “Ha-cha!”
“Nooo!”
Sugar cried. “You already had your revenge!”
Patmac turned to Sue “Have you got a wrench there Sue or a pair of pliers?”
“What do you think I am?”
Sue answered, “Of course I have.” she fished into her bag and retrieved a rusty pair of pliers.
“Aunty Sue Nooooo! I’ll be good!” Sugar paled.
Lisa giggled.
“Someone hold Sugar’s head still so I don’t cut her ear off!” Patmac set to work while Auntie Pat and Aunty Sue held Sugar’s head in a vice grip.

After a few minutes Patmac was able to manipulate the bars enough so with the assistance of a hard shove from Vikki, Sugar’s head was free and she was standing outside the cell.

“Back in a min!” Sugar ran off!
“Get back here Missy!” Aunty Sue shouted after her.
“Need the loo!” Sugar’s voice floated back.
“I do wish she’d not said that!” Auntie Pat muttered as Lisa crossed her legs.

It seemed Sugar had been gone for a long time and consulting Hilda’s watch they realised she had been gone over 10 minutes ago.

“Where can she have got to?” Patmac was worried.
“You know what her sense of directions like!” Auntie Pat laughed.
“I heard that!” Sugar was walking towards them, dangling a big set of keys from her hand. “I found these…One of them is bound to work. By the way did you know this was Al Capone’s cell?”
“How do you know?”
“There is a Name Plate on the outside.”
“Cool!”
Lisa grinned.
“He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital; you send one of his to the morgue--THAT'S THE CHICAGO WAY!”
“Very Good Hilda!”
Patmac clapped. “Although I think it was Sean Connery actually.”

Sugar tried a selection of keys until she found B- 206 and unlocked the door and Geri pushed it open from the inside.

“Freedom! Kind of.” Butcher shuffled out of the cell in her leg irons.
“I’ll undo them if you swear not to do a runner on me.” Geri agreed reaching down and unlocking the metal clamps.
“Bit tricky Shaw we are marooned on an island!” Butcher grinned “And I’m not swimming in shark invested water for anyone. I cut my finger, they’d pounce on me within seconds.”
“Touche” Geri grinned at the Heads.
“So how are we getting off the island?” Nell mused as she pinned her hair back up.
"Can we have some light in here?” Patmac wondered and Sugar ignited her lighter and Vikki flashed her phone light.
“Hang on!” Sugar disappeared into the darkness,
taking a ball of Sue’s wool with her so she could find them again.
“That better have been worth it young lady!” Sue scowled as she returned “You have unravelled my knitting!”
“Catch!” Sugar passed out three Tilly lamps to the group.
“Ohh wonderful Sugar! You’re a star!” Auntie Pat took a lamp gratefully and the group headed out of the prison to the harbour.

Geri started laughing. “You lot look like the Mafia with those dark glasses on.”
“Heavy night last night was it Annersley?” Butcher enquired politely while struggling to keep a straight face.
“Just one too many, that was all.” Hilda forced a smile.
“Would a hair of the dog help do you think?” Geri wondered. Although where she was going to get an alcoholic drink from was anyone’s guess.
“A hair won’t help. They need the entire tail.” Nell looked at the other women and laughed.

“How are we getting off Isle de Alcatraz?” Sue wondered.
“We better not be swimming.” Patmac checked under her T-shirt. “I haven’t got my cossie on.”
“There’s bound to be a boat somewhere surely”
Auntie Pat waved her Tilly lamp about.
“Why would there be? In the daytime yes but they’d be docked on Pier 33 now ready for the morning now.” Patmac was pragmatic.
“What’s that?” Lisa peered into the darkness.
“It looks like a speedboat.” Nell followed Lisa’s gaze.
"Speedboat!” Vikki spun round catching Hilda’s eyes. “HILDA!!!”
“Yes, Vikki?”
Hilda moved the lamp slightly to watch the boat.
“Is it me or are your eyes florescent green?”
“Yes they are.” Hilda grinned. “Good eh?”
Auntie Pat turned around and glared. “My joke contact lenses! I wondered where they had gone!”

Suddenly the speedboat stopped and they recognised the person behind the wheel.
"Ohhh shades of Joyce Marvell or whatever her name was.” Nell grinned at Hilda. She had only heard the story second hand and she was a little hazy on both details and names and it was ages since she’d read the book.
“Jennie!”
“What on earth did you leave us in that God-forsaken place for?”
Sue was not a happy bunny.
"WHAT was that stunt for?” Sugar glared at Jennie.
“There's no gratitude in this world.” grinned Jennie as she revved the engine of the speedboat. “Do you want a lift or not?”

Author:  Pat [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderfully, totally, bonkers!!!

Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

:shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol:

:lol: :shock: :lol: This just keeps getting better & better!! :shock: :lol: :shock:

:lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock: :lol: :shock:

Author:  Liane [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: Fab. Thanks Sugar!

Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

Why did I think they would be there for the night. However it was not Butcher or Lesley who freed them from the cell.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl::rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl::rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl::rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

PaulineS wrote:
Why did I think they would be there for the night. However it was not Butcher or Lesley who freed them from the cell.


I had to be the heroine in my own drabble! :lol: :oops: :lol:

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

Excellent - thanks Sugar. :lol:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:07 am ]
Post subject: 

Well done, Sugar!
(and Jennie, for the speedboat.)

I love Butcher's attention to Sugar's name. :lol:

Author:  Jennie [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar, this is totally mental. No higher praise!

BTW: I get seasick on wet grass, but I'm STILL driving the speedboat.

Author:  Catherine [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Barmy!! Totally barmy!


Keep it coming! :rofl:

Author:  crystaltips [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Total madness :rofl: :rofl:
Totally brilliant :rofl:

Author:  Sugar [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Bit more

The next morning the coterie of friends decided to drive south away from the shadow of Alcatraz and it seemed safer somehow given Jennie had hot-wired the boat the night before to get the others off the island and obviously they had Geri and Butcher with them. As Lesley put her foot on the accelerator and blatantly ignored the speed limits the lush greenness of California turned into the barren wilderness of Nevada.

“At the next junction turn right.”
Hilda spoke.
“Ohhh a cactus.”
“Reno!”
“Ohhhhhhhhhhh”
“Slot machines!”
“Why Reno, I thought that Las Vegas was the gambling capital.”
“It is!”
“Reno!”
Lesley looked confused “But how?”
“You’re driving Lesley.”
Geri pointed out.
"We are supposed to be going down not right!” Patmac cried from the back of van.
Hilda looked at her map. “We are going DOWN!”
Lisa stood up and reached over Hilda’s seat and turned the map.

“Lesley, you are the one driving!” Auntie Pat rolled her eyes. “How can you not know how we got here?”
“I was listening to directions from Little Miss Satnav! And anyway why did no one else notice?”
“We were yibbling!”
“And we did notice.. but we thought you and Hilda knew what you were doing.”
Lisa looked at Lesley.
"That’s another fine mess you have got us into Stanley.” Nell grinned at Hilda.
“You can navigate next time!”
“I shall!”
Nell stuck out her tongue. “Maps are my speciality after all.”

“Well as we are here… we may as well get out and have a look around.” Sue pointed out as Nell opened the doors at the back.

“Ohhh look The Moonlight Lounge!” Auntie Pat pointed, nearly taking Jennie’s eye out. “And everyone’s over 21” she added unnecessarily.
“You girls, get your passports out – you’re bound to be IDed. You’re not dolled up!” Jennie looked at them in their shorts and T-shirts and peered at the top of Vikki’s head.
“Lisa have you been drawing on Vikki again?” She traced a vicious red line down Vikki’s hair parting as Lisa shook her head.
“Owwww! It’s not pen! It’s sunburn.” squealed Vikki.
“It matches your nose too” Patmac tapped Vikki on the nose.

“If we are going IN could we hurry up!” Geri asked handing Butcher a Tshirt to try and disguise the bright orange prison issue jump suit. “God no! You look more conspicuous with the addition of lime green and cream.” She gave it back to Lesley who put it back on gratefully.

The group moved into the casino and settled into finding slot machines or card tables to amuse themselves after they had persuaded the door staff Jennie was under 65 as it wasn’t OAP day until Monday.

“I’ll get some chips.” Geri said to the group and walked towards the booth where the girl was converting cash into casino chips.
“Ohh yes please. I’m starving!” Patmac looked hopeful. It had been a long time since her pancakes and maple syrup.
“Not those sort of chips!” Nell laughed. “She means gambling chips!”
“She’s not borrowing the VISA this time! Alan will be serving divorce papers on me when we get home!”


Lesley followed Geri and stood behind her in the queue. “I’m Ma Baker. Put your hands on your head and give me all your money!”
“It isn’t my money” she smiled demurely. “$1000 dollars please.” She handed a credit card to the cashier. “It’s going on expenses!”
“Are you mad?”
“Not at all! I have to keep Butcher amused.”
Geri took the bag of chips. “And we can’t stay long we are on the run after all.”
“Ohh could you say that any louder? I’m not sure everyone heard you.” Lesley asked sarcastically as the cashier looked alarmed.
“It’s OK.” Geri looked at the cashier. “We are on the run from the TV crew. I have a part on Prisoner Cell block H.”
Lesley spluttered.

The pair walked across the arcade to where the others were standing in a large group and above the talk Lesley could hear the recognisable ching ching ching as coins fell from a machine.

“But I swear I only pressed the button!”
"Which button?"
Nell questioned
"The red one or it might have been the green one." Sue was flustered.
“And I only pressed the yellow one!” Sugar added “as Vikki pulled the lever.”
“I only yanked the lever cos Jennie sat on the swizzly stool!”
I only sat down cos I had a stone in my flip flop!”
Jennie retorted. “What are you doing?” She looked at Patmac and Auntie Pat kneeling on the floor.
“Collecting your winnings.”
“Good, Now lets get out of here!”
Geri took hold of Butcher and pushed Lesley towards the door.

The women got back inside the van with Nell replacing Hilda in the passengers seat and while Lesley and Nell discussed a route there was a scrum going on in the back as they decided who sat where, with Vikki investigating Butcher’s handcuffs using Jennie as an unwilling victim.

“Do you think?” Lesley answered Nell’s suggestion.
“Well the trip was all about culture and things wasn’t it?”
“Sort of”
Lesley replied.
“Well then, and it won’t take long and we are close!
“OK!”
Lesley agreed. “But I wanna see Mickey.”
“Patience is a virtue Lesley, now if take the next left we’ll be on the right highway.”
“Patience is a load of codswallop!”

Author:  abbeybufo [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar wrote:
Patience is a load of codswallop

Yep!

Thanks Sugar :lol: :lol:

Author:  Pat [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

Mickey isn't culture, and I don't want to see him!!!

Author:  PaulineS [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
"OK!” Lesley agreed. “But I wanna see Mickey.”


:rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :smurf: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl:

Author:  Sugar [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Pat wrote:
Mickey isn't culture, and I don't want to see him!!!


I'll remember that! We could always leave you in the car with the windows shut. And who said Lesley was going to meet Mickey anyhow!!

Author:  Vick [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar, you are completely mad, but very funny! :D

Author:  Vikki [ Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

Suagr my sweet, you are utterly barking! :lol:
Oh, and I've not worn shorts in nearly twenty years, and that would have been under protest!!!






















More soon please! :lol:

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:46 am ]
Post subject: 

Does no-one else think it strange that a slot machine suddenly disgorged lots of money just when a convicted criminal walked by? Bet Butcher had something to do with the 'win'! :lol:


Thanks Sugar. :wink:

Author:  Jennie [ Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well, since we're all benefitting from it, who's complaining? Let the good times roll!

Thanks, Sugar.

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Some more! It's taken on a life of it's own!

"$3.05"
“What?”
“How utterly pathetic!”
Sue was scathing.
“Three dollars and five cents.”
“I wonder about your ‘cents’ sometimes Annersley.” Butcher laughed.
“Those coins are worth 25c each! They are Quarters not Dimes.” Sue explained.
“Thought Dime was chocolate.” Nell turned her head as Lesley stopped at an intersection.

“Give me the winnings I’ll count them.” Geri sccoped the silver coins up and counted quickly. “$15.25 – not bad for a bit of lever pulling!”
“Does no-one else think it strange that a slot machine suddenly disgorged lots of money just when a convicted criminal walked by?”
Lesley pondered.
“No!”
“Just me then.”
grinned Lesley from the drivers seat.
“We can get some drinks and snacks when we get to wherever it is we are going.” decided Auntie Pat.
“Yes good idea. I could murder a cold drink.” Patmac agreed.
“Me too!” Butcher agreed.
“You’re not murdering anything Butcher. It’s got you into enough trouble!” Geri grinned at her friend.

Suddenly Lesley slowed the van and pulled into a green wooded area but kept driving.
“Wow!” the younger triumvirate were stunned.
“Oooh look a squirrel” Lesley stopped the van to let the squirrel walk over the path.
“Breathtaking” Sue was overwhelmed.
“Can we get out and wander round?” Pat opened the door.
“Pat, let me STOP first! Maybe I ought to activate the childlock after all.” Lesley pulled into a parking area and got out.

“You were right Nell, it's amazing.”
Lesley looked at the awe inspiring view.
“I’ve always wanted to come here,” Nell was quiet.
“I lift up mine eyes unto the hills.” Hilda slipped her arm through Nell’s.
“It’s not a hill it’s a waterfall.” Nell was awakened out of her reverie.
“Whatever you want to call it, it’s pretty spectacular!” Auntie Pat agreed.

“Shall we sit and picnic over there?” Patmac pointed into the distance where some talls trees stood. “We can buy icecreams too.”
Auntie Pat went and sat down. “It’s a bit damp but it won’t kill us!”
“I get seasick on wet grass” moaned Jennie
"Jennie you really worry me sometimes do you know that!” Lesley looked at Jennie in alarm whilst Lisa wondered just what Jennie had been smoking.

“Aunty Lesley can we have the ice-cream money?” Sugar looked at Lesley.
“No you can not Sugar.”
“Aunty Lesley can we have the ice-cream money please?” Vikki tried being polite.
“No Vikki, you can not!” Lesley looked at the other chaperones who had caught on.
Lisa tried. “LESLEY, can we have the ice-cream money please?” No Lisa, you CAN NOT!” Lesley was firm about this.
The girls looked at the chaperones for guidance as Hilda let out of a muffled scream.
Sue mouthed something at Lisa and the light bulb pinged and she hissed to the others.
“Please Aunty Lesley MAY we have the ice-cream money?” They looked hopeful.
“Only if you bring me an extra large one with a flake in!” She handed over the bag of Quarters.

“Where have those three monkeys got to now?” Patmac shielded her face from the sun and peered towards the trees in the distance.
“They wanted to go and explore a bit,” Sue explained “I said they could as long as they aren’t playing off ground tig.”
“Ohhh off ground tig. I haven’t played that in donkey’s years.”
Aunty Pat’s eyes twinkled.
“They’ve got OUR icecream money.” Hilda grumbled.
"C’mon you people let’s track them down!” Nell

Meanwhile the three girls had been exploring Mariposa Grove and had peered at each other through fall tree trunks and walked through the California Tunnel Tree without even noticing so intent where they on their game of “I Spy” and eating their icecream and were currently lying on the soft dry ground inside the hollow Telescope Tree looking upwards at the stars.

“C’mon we can’t lie here forever even though it IS pretty bizarre to lie inside a tree and see the stars in the middle of the day!” Lisa got up and pulled Sugar to her feet.
“I’m sure I’ve read that in a book. Someone got stuck down a pit or something.”
“It doesn’t ring any bells with me”
Vikki replied as they walked out of the tree towards the tallest tree they had ever seen.

The chaperones were just deciding to split up to find the three explorers when someone tapped Sue and Jennie on the shoulder.
“HOW!” said the native American Chief.
“How!” stuttered Sue wondering if she was supposed to say that.
“Ho!” replied Jennie cheerfully going for the other option.
“You find missing daughters in big tree.” the Chief explained.
I told those monkeys off ground tig was off limits. If Sugar falls out of a tree. I’ll break her neck!” Sue fumed.
“If Sugar falls out of a tree. She’ll have broken her own neck!” Auntie Pat laughed.
“She’d not be that silly Sue!” Hilda was reassuring
“You don’t know Sugar very well do you Hilda?
“It’s the combination of the three of them that worries me more!”
Auntie Pat.

“Where’s the tree?” Nell asked the Indian whilst thinking his head must be very hot in that headgear.
“Grizzly Giant that way.” He pointed north east.
“Grizzly Giant!” Jennie swore under her breath “Let’s hope he’s not the Fee Fi Fo Fum kind!”
“The Grizzly Giant is a Giant Sequoia tree Jennie. You can stand inside it!”
Nell explained. “They won’t come to any harm in there.”
“S’long as its not like Jonah and the whale, afterall Jennie gets seasick on wet grass!”
Sue smiled.

As the mature contingent set off, leaving Butcher and Geri with the picnic lunch and the Native American, the younger three were standing inside the Grizzly Giant peering upwards.

“Wow!”
“Amazing”
Lisa pointed “What’s that?"
“There is a tiny little yellow door with a little knocker and a brightly polished bell up there.”
Sugar pointed high up.
“How bizarre.” Vikki was puzzled.
“Can we reach it?” Lisa measured the distance with her eye.
“No need there’s a ladder there.”

As they begame climbing towards the door, they were having to dodge water coming from somewhere.
“The spray off that waterfall is widespread isn’t it!” Lisa gasped.
“The water’s all soapy too.” Sugar hung on Vikki’s back tighter.

Lisa stood on the tiny ledge outside the door and read a note pinned on the door.
No Pop biscuits today Come up! Careful though, Dame Washalot is running a Chinese laundry! Silky

“The Magic Faraway Tree!” Vikki laughed.

“Do you think there might be a land at the top?” Sugar thought aloud.
“Let’s go and see!”

“Wait for us!”
the chaperones yelled from the base of the tree.

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Pat [ Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:52 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wonderful. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

This gets sillier and sillier [and I mean that as a compliment!!]

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:

Thanks Sugar

Author:  Liane [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:22 am ]
Post subject: 

Yay! I used to love The Magic Faraway Tree.
Thanks Sugar.

Author:  Xanthe [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hee hee hee he he he hee...

*sounds of hysterical giggling*

Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl:
:rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl:
:rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl:
:rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl:
:rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl: :D :rofl:

Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 9:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'll have you lot know that the combination of Vikki, Sugar and myself is an eminently sensible one!

*stalks off in a snit&














Nah. Not really. As for Mickey, he was inflicted on me thanks to the wonders of Disney's Dream Machine whatsit. Just think, I could have won a car, or a flight, or loadsa money, and I get a king sized Mickey. I mean, couldn't it have been Minnie?

I love the way Pat, Lesley et al are struggling rather desperately to keep us under control. Rather like the real thing, in fact..

Author:  Pat [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

Don't know about the others, but I wouldn't even try in RL!! I know you lot too well!!! :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

:P :P

I loved your revenge drabble, Pat! I'll see how this effusion of Sugar's plays out and then might see what I can come up with.

Author:  Pat [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lisa_T wrote:
:P :P

I loved your revenge drabble, Pat! I'll see how this effusion of Sugar's plays out and then might see what I can come up with.


:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Little bit more

They climbed higher and higher until they reached the top branch where they stopped for a rest.
“You took your time!” Moonface grinned, his face lighting up as he beamed happily at them.
“Jennie got doused by Dame Washalot’s water!” Patmac explained.
“Sue got her knitting needle caught in the branches!” Pat continued.
“Vikki wanted a photo every third step!” Lisa finished the story.

“Is there really a land up there, Silky?” Vikki asked the small fairy with long blonde hair.
“Crusts!” Moonface grimaced. “Although I’m blowed if I know why there is a land of unedible bread bits!”
“It’s not crusts! It’s Crufts!”
said Saucepan man. “A Dog Show”
“It won’t be there very long! It’s on a fast spin today.”
“Sounds like a washing machine!”
Lesley laughed.

Suddenly there was a commotion above them and a tiny bundle of black fur came hurtling through the hole.

“Gretchen you little sod, get back here with my wool!” someone yelled and a head poked through the hole.

“KATE!!!”
“What are you lot doing here?”
Kate smiled at them. “Can someone unravel that dog from my wool?”
Patmac grabbed the wriggling Gretchen and Lesley unwound the bright green and purple stripey wool and handed it to Kate.
“Thanks!” grinned Kate as she shoved the wool in her pocket and caught Gretchen under her arm.
“Got to go! We are being judged in a minute and then the Land is moving on. We should be back in Wigan by bedtime.”
She popped her head back in and took Gretchen with her.

A few minutes later there was a whirring noise. “Ohhh the Lands moving!” Silky cried.
“What’s coming now?” Patmac asked.
“Not sure, we can go up and look in a minute.” Moonface was listening for the Land to stop. “Let’s go!”

“Ohhh!” Lesley climbed up.
“Upside down Land.” Jennie turned her head.
“THE LAND OF THE TOPSY TURVY!” Sue cried.
“Let me see!” Patmac pushed her way up looking at the upside down houses standing on thier chimneys.
“Ohh the trees are upside down!” Lisa laughed pointing to the trees with their heads buried in the ground and their roots in the air.
Sugar climbed up and pointed “Look people walking upside down too!”
Vikki peered at them. “That’s Betula and Sally! I wonder if they have any books?”

There was a sudden lurch.
“Run!” yelled Silky.
The Land was on the move again.

“Heaven’s” gasped Sue as they rested on the top branch with their heads in the clouds. “I know you said it was on a fast cycle but that’s insane!”
“Is there a slower cycle possibly?”
puffed Lesley.
The next land slid into place.
“ I wonder what’s next?” Auntie Pat asked as she gripped the branch. She hated heights. Sugar was wondering the same. She hoped it wasn’t the Land of Dame Slap, Aunty Sue didn’t need any encouragement. None of them did really.

“Lesley, would you have a look?” Sugar spoke carefully swallowing the “Aunty” that seemed to want to be spoken in case Lesley pushed her off the branch where she was balancing rather precariously.
Lesley stood up and her head vanished.

“What can you see Lesley?” Jennie asked,
“Lots of green trees, fields of buttercups and daisies and there’s a tiny cottage. Everyone is dressed in fancy clothes too. Pretty dresses and smart suits.”
“What’s the weather like?”
Moonface asked.
“Simply wonderful full of brilliant sunshine, blue sky and a cool breeze. Not like Easter Sunday at all.”

“Ohhhhh I know what that is!” grinned Saucepan Man
“Me too!” Silky laughed.
“Up into THE LAND OF BIRTHDAYS for the three!”
Moonface pulled Sugar up. “One!”
Silky took Vikki by the hand “Two!”
Saucepan pushed the chaperones up and looked for Lisa.
“Thr…..! Oh my! Where’s Lisa?”
Lisa had vanished.

Author:  Lisa_T [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:24 am ]
Post subject: 

Sugar honey, be very, very careful. I don't think I need to remind you of what my imagination is capable of, once provoked...

:twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Lesley [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:46 am ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  crystaltips [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lovely laughter for a Saturday morning :lol: :lol:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:

Thanks Sugar

Author:  Sugar [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

I thought I better rescue Lisa! Aren't I nice?

Saucepan climbed up into the Land of birthdays and looked at the others worriedly.
“Where on earth can she have got to?” Jennie spoke what was on everyone’s lips.
“Ohh good lord, do you think she got trapped in the Land of Topsy Turvy?” Hilda wondered as Moonface ran full pelt to the very edge of the field of buttercups and daisies.
“I bet you she did!” laughed Vikki, “She’s a right one for a Hard Back First Edition especially it’s got an original Dustwrapper!”
“So says she with a copy of EVERY CS Hardback and every Armada AND every GGBP ever published!”
Auntie Pat laughed at Vikki.
“Don’t forget the Cookery books and Books for girls” added Patmac grinning at Vikki.
“Aww leave her alone! I think it’s great she’s got the lot.” Sugar had plans to steal Vikki’s books one day but it wouldn’t do to tell her that.
“It’s not rescuing your friend either.” Silky pointed out diplomatically.
“No! quite!” Jennie peered into the middle distance through a mist “Is that Topsy Turvy over there?”
“Yes!.. the mist is the smoke from the upside down chimneys!”
Moonface scanned the horizon.
There she is! I can see her!” Moonface cried and the others ran up.
“LisaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” he bellowed at the top of his voice. “LIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSA!!” Vikki looked at the others who nodded and she lent forward to Moonface and whispered something.
“Oh!” he looked flummoxed then started waving his arms around.
Jennie looked at him oddly and then shouted across to Lisa.
“Can you jump it?”
“Jump what?”
“Across to us!”
Jennie replied.
It wasn’t possible for them to see Lisa’s face but had they been able to they would have seen an incredulous look on her face and a wondering about the location of Jennie’s last remaining marble.

“Mind the gap folks, mind the gap!” Lesley impersonated the Tube drivers of London and Nell snickered.
They heard Lisa call back. “I was rubbish at PE at school. I always pulled a sickie!”
Suddenly Sue started knitting at the speed of a very fast knitter.
“What are you knitting?” Jennie looked at the lacey piece.
“Safety net! Well if Miss Spider could do it for James and some seagulls...” at which point Sugar shuddered and started moaning. “Shut up Sugar! Well I can do it for Lisa… well maybe. It’s been ages since I knitted a safety device.”
She cast off and threw it to Moonface and Jennie.
“Just do a running jump.” suggested Patmac.
“Like long jump.” added Hilda.
“What’s underneath here Silky?” Sugar wondered.
“Shut UP Sugar..” warned Auntie Sue
“Nothing much.” replied Silky as Nell made a discrete sign of the cross and started mumbling.
“Where’s the St Bernard when you need him!” Patmac wondered.
“St Bernard my eye! Where’s mountain rescue and the doctor!” Lesley retorted.
“Go on Lisa! JUMP!” yelled Vikki as Lisa edged backwards and took a deep breath.
“Ready ……. Steady ……….. Go!” yelled Jennie
“AAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Lisa yelled at the top of her lungs as she came hurtling towards them, took a leap, and cleared the 36 inch gap easily. “Thought it would be more effective for the video if I screamed.” She grinned at Vikki.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

*weeps with laughter*

Thanks Sugar

Author:  Kathy_S [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well done, Lisa.

Don't forget to reclaim the safety device! :lol:

Author:  Pat [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Nice one Lisa - and Sugar.

Author:  Nell [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 9:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just caught up with this - absolutely insane and so very very wonderfully hilarious!

Thanks Sugar!

Author:  Kat [ Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

*snorting with giggles*

You are indeed a special person, Sugar! :lol:

Author:  crystaltips [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:20 am ]
Post subject: 

*giggling madly*

Thanks Sugar

Author:  Jennie [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar, this is wonderful.

Now, if anyone dares to mention a CBB trip to the US, I'll have them sent into psychiatric care at once.

Author:  Vikki [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:29 pm ]
Post subject: 

Completely, utterly and totally insane! (but of course, that's why we love you Sugar!)

Author:  Sugar [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

Here's the next installment!

A few minutes later, the coterie were walking across the fields of buttercups and daisies basking in the brilliant sunshine when a family of bunny rabbits hopped up to them.
“Happy Birthday Miss Sugar”
“Happy Birthday Miss Vikki.”
“Happy Birthday Miss Lisa.”
“Aww how cute”
“Plot bunnies no?”
Lisa looked at Auntie Pat who grinned evilly as was her wont.
“Happy Birthday Ms Chaperones!” the bunnies chorused.
“But it’s not their birthdays soon.” The three were perplexed.
Silky laughed at their faces. “It’s anyone’s birthday who wants it.”
“We must get you dressed though.”
Saucepan rattled his pans enthusiastically.
“Ohh yes!” smiled Silky as she led them to the small cottage Lesley had described earlier.

She ushered them inside and as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared: a little elf with pointy ears and an alarmingly long beard sat behind a counter.
“Take a ticket!” he pointed to a machine very similar to those found near the deli counters of supermarkets.
Just as Lisa, being the tallest, reached up to take ticket 987 the elf saw Moonface and his attitude changed as he readjusted his fez. “Come this way Ladies. I have just the dresses.” He handed them each a covered hanger and led towards a communal changing room.

When they emerged Sugar was wearing a dress of vivid jade, Vikki a dress of soft dull green and Lisa a warm crimson coloured dress.
“Ohhh look at you!” Patmac smiled.
“Give us a twirl!” Jennie instructed as the girls mumbled things about horrid dresses and looking like a 5 year old.
“Ungrateful baggages!” grinned Nell
“You look lovely!” Saucepan man cried. And blew his nose noisily on a spotted hanky offered hastily by Lesley, who was less than amused when he gave it her back.

“Are you getting glad-ragged Aunties?” Lisa asked bravely with an eye to Lesley who was prone to mouth frothing at the mere mention of Aunt. Lisa was convinced it was a throw back to drinking all that mouthwash but it was always wise to be cautious.
“No! We decided to let you lot have the fun today!” explained Patmac.
“It’s not every day you are 30!”
“Not 30 yet! 29 again!”
Sugar glared.
“If you say so dear.”
“Put your lip back in Lesley! The girl’s will share their cake!”
Jennie looked at Lesley who wanted a pretty party dress too.
“Cake?”
“Proper cake?”
“Birthday Cake?”
“No! cardboard cake!”
Sue replied sarcastically.
“And you get to wish for your favourite food too!” Moonface explained as he lead them out of the shop.
“Everyone can do that though!” supplemented Saucepan man.

Moonface led them over to a large field where there was a long empty table waiting to be filled with food.
“Right then, everybody wish!”
Suddenly the table began to fill with Chocolate slice and Pringles and Coke of all varieties, then Pizzas, Party Rings, Crisps and a wide selection of alcohol: Martini, Lambrini Malibu and Crème de Menthe of course. Suddenly out of nowhere the biggest birthday cake anyone had ever seen appeared.

“Wow!”
“11, 12, 13!”
Lesley was counting the candles.
“Tuck in!” insisted Saucepan man offering Vikki a plate.
“Ohh yummy! Party Rings! The rainbows would be jealous!” giggled Sugar.

Everyone helped themselves to as much food as they could eat with the chocolate slice being devoured at superfast speed along with the Coke. As everyone ate and chatted amongst themselves Lesley was still counting candles.

“51, 52, 53, Can I have some pizza please? 77 78 79” Lesley muttered and Silky passed her the pizza she had always dreamt of.
“82 83 84.. Thanks Silky! 85 86…. 87!!” Lesley stopped counting and bit into her pizza.
“87?”
“Yup! We aren’t 30 YET!”
Vikki
“No dear!” Hilda grinned at Nell. Oh to be 30 again.

“Come along! Let’s blow the candles out and make wishes. It’s normally only the birthday girl who blows the candles and wishes but there seems to an abundance of candles today…”
“87 in fact!”
Lesley knew this she had counted them.
“So we can all wish!” Moonface carried on. “Ready Steady………..!” he took a breath!
“WHOOOOOOOOOSH!” Everyone blew and the candles flickered and extinguished themselves.

Suddenly they began to feel the floor beneath their feet shuddering.
“Oops!” said Sue
“We might have overdone it!” agreed Jennie
“Quickly” cried Silky, “It’s on the move AGAIN!”

Author:  Carolyn P [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

Very, very silly...but oh so cheering.
thanks Sugar.

Author:  Lesley [ Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks Sugar. :lol:

Author:  Lisa_T [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:15 am ]
Post subject: 

Well, you're absolutely right about the PE part, if not the sickie part. Sickies in boarding school are rather hard to pull, you see.

Are the candles edible? After they've been extinguished, of course!

Author:  crystaltips [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

*still giggling madly*

*wants to visit the Faraway Tree too.....pout*

Thanks Sugar

Author:  Jennie [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar, this is wonderfully insane.

Author:  Sugar [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:29 pm ]
Post subject: 

Some more cos I'm nice I am!

The group were reassembled on the highest branch of the Tree munching slices of Birthday cake that the Old Saucepan man had rescued and there was a fierce debate going on. It couldn’t be chocolate cake insisted Patmac because her’s tasted of fruitcake whereas Auntie Pat was insistent her slice was flavoured with coconut.
“It is! That’s the bit that got drenched in Malibu when I knocked the bottle over!” Saucepan man explained. “And by the way the cake tastes of whatever flavour you wish for!”

Meanwhile Hilda was discussing the next land with Moonface and Silky.

“Is it possible to go up to see?” Hilda turned to Moonface and Silky.
“Yes, but we must be careful near the edge not to loose anyone. Could someone hold onto Lisa.”
“Why do we have to be careful?”
Nell asked as she tied Lisa to her with a bit of Kate’s wool, that had caught on her jumper.
“The Land of Know-Alls is a small land , so small that it looks as if anyone could fall off the edge quite easily. In fact many people have fallen off the edge on occasions when they had outgrown the boots that kept them grounded.” The Old Saucepan man joined in the conversation.

“You have to be careful what you ask the Great Ones too.” Silky explained.
“We don’t need to go up then!” decided Vikki “We have the Great Ones!” she pointed to Hilda Annersley and Nell Wilson.
“And we have the Great Two!” Lisa added, pointing to Lesley and Auntie Pat; the two who had struck out into the World of Independent Publishing and succeeded.

“But we’ll go up anyway!” Jennie decided. “Just for curiosity sake.”
“You know what curiosity did Jennie”
Lesley laughed.
“No Lesley…. that was the CBB!”
“Curiosity killed Kat!”
muttered Vikki. “She has 9 lives though!”
“What did she do?”
Sue asked.
“Tell you another time” They had seen Kat in Disney World chasing Mickey Mouse but she had been eaten up by Simba but Vikki daren’t mentioned Mickey with Lesley nearby as it looked like Lesley had finally stopped informing everyone “I wanna see Mickey” at every given opportunity.

Hup we go!” Jennie led the way into a very small land.
“Ohhh there’s OOAO!” Moonface pointed to a girl with plaited pigtails wearing a brown dress with a flame tie.
“Oh yes, Hello!” smiled Silky through gritted teeth.
“Have you seen….”
“No!”
Silky said abruptly. “Try near the edge” she suggested “and fall off whilst you’re about it! She muttered under her breath.
“I heard that young woman” Hilda was stern and Silky flushed feeling about 12.“And I whole heartedly agree!”
“I thought we killed her when we hit her with a mallet and buried her under the patio!”
Nell was agitated.
“She never dies! We try every time!” said Saucepan man was forlorn. “I’ve even hit her with the iron!”
“Who was she looking for?”
Patmac was curious.
“Lime green woman with earphones!”
Lesley you mean?”
Lisa pointed to Lesley who was wearing her lime green ‘Hilda is the best’ T-shirt and listening to Sue’s ipod.
“Nooo, the one with more children than fingers!” Saucepan man laughed.
“Not Lesley then!” Auntie Pat chuckled.
“Definitely NOT Lesley!” agreed Lesley.
“Ohhh no NO way!” Jennie looked into the distance.

Mary Lou was walking towards them and linked in with her were Joey and Whatshernamethingy who Aunty Sue had apparently not flattened on the first day.

Everyone ran!

They ran across to the hole and slipped through it and ran into Moonface’s room.
“Mind the hole!” Sue grabbed Jennie who wobbled dangerously near a hole in the centre of the round room.
“What a silly place to have a hole!” exclaimed Hilda
“someone might have been hurt.” She was finding this whole experience outside her comfort zone and would feel better once she was on terra firma once more.

“That's the "Slippery Slip"....Its slides right to the bottom of the tree.” explained Moonface. “It saves you the walk down because it is much more difficult to climb down a tree than up it, you see and one generally forgets the time and needs to head off in rather a hurry and it saves time.”
“Like a fireman’s pole?”
queried Nell. “These Giant Sequoia trees are fascinating!”
Moonface laughed. “Why don’t you try it to get to the bottom?”
“What do I do?”
“Watch!”
Vikki cried as she grabbed Sugar and pink spotty cushion and sat down.
“Someone give us a shove off!” grinned Sugar.
“With Pleasure!” smiled Auntie Pat
“Happily!” giggled Lesley.
“Don’t tempt me Sug!” Sue shoved.

“Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!” they screamed as they swirled to the bottom of the tree.
“Oi wait for me!” Lisa yelled as she grabbed a blue cushion from the pile and sent herself to the bottom.
“Ohh fun!” Sugar squeed as she got to the bottom.
“Watch out belowww!” Hilda yelled as she shot out of the shute with Nell following close behind.
Again?” Nell looked at Hilda
“No.” Hildas tone was dry.
“Argggggghhh!” Sue yelled. “I hate bloomin’ helter skelters!” Sue landed on a soft pile of turf.
“OWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Lesley shot out of the end of the tunnel.
“She pushed me.” She turned on Patmac who followed her.
“OWWWWWWWWWWW!” Patmac screamed. She banged her elbow on the way down.
“You asked for it!” retaliated Patmac as she rubbed her funny bone.
“Shhhhhhhhh…ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Auntie Pat hated fair ground rides and rollercoasters. Sugar was skating on very thin ice, so thin that she would end up like Maureen if she wasn't very careful.
“Yipeeeeeeeeeee!” Jennie was the last to land “Get out of the flamin’ way!”

Author:  Jennie [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well, Sugar, that was great, and utterly crazy as well.

Author:  Pat [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar got one thing spot on - the thin ice bit!!! :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Lesley [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm not going to say anything - I'm too busy giggling! :lol:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Two updates at once, coz I missed last night's somehow :shock:

*Still giggling madly*

Author:  Kat [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:07 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar wrote:
Suddenly the table began to fill with Chocolate slice ..... Lambrini Malibu


Oh yum! Definitely a good party *G* :lol:

Sugar wrote:
“But we’ll go up anyway!” Jennie decided. “Just for curiosity sake.”
“You know what curiosity did Jennie” Lesley laughed.
“No Lesley…. that was the CBB!”
“Curiosity killed Kat!” muttered Vikki. “She has 9 lives though!”
“What did she do?” Sue asked.
“Tell you another time” They had seen Kat in Disney World chasing Mickey Mouse but she had been eaten up by Simba but Vikki daren’t mentioned Mickey with Lesley nearby as it looked like Lesley had finally stopped informing everyone “I wanna see Mickey” at every given opportunity.


:o How RUDE of Simba! Good thing I have 9 lives really....

Thank you for the giggles, Sugar! This is very fab! :lol: :rofl:

Author:  crystaltips [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

Brilliant!!

Thanks Sugar

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

Some more. Disclaimer as usual. thankyou to one of my triplets for some assistance.

As they left Yosemite later that day they decided to drive down to LA in the morning and the next morning they set off early. The drive down the coastal road had proved uneventful, although Sugar upset coffee over herself and got a liberal coating of sugar added to it from Jennie’s breakfast doghnuts. There were many oooh’s and ahh’s over the view of the Big Sur as Lesley cruised down the Interstate 1 and into Los Angeles. After parking the car, the crowd moved down the pavement or should be sidewalk in a big bunch, the decorum of croc-in having been discarded in an attempt to keep Butcher concealed.

“ Sugar, move your foot, your standing on Robin Williams”
“Well you just walked over Julie Andrews without even a second thought!”
Sugar was horrified.
“Ohhh look Mickey Mouse!” Hilda grinned at Lesley who stood firmly on him and beamed as Hilda took a step back onto Michael Jackson causing Nell to stand on the edge of Tom Selleck.

“Oh Tom Selleck, I did like Magnum PI on the telly.” Nell laughed. Hilda and she had got satellite TV in the cottage and often watched late night re-runs.
“I think I’d rather the icecream!” Patmac laughed. “Moustaches tickle.”

Suddenly Pat and Sue shot across the road madly with no regard for traffic.
“Tom Cruise!” they yelled.
“Come back! You’ll get done for Jay-walking if you’re not careful.” Sugar yelled to them.
“Is that what I think it is?” Pat hissed at Sue.
“No idea but let’s not risk it.”

“Did we see Lassie?”
Jennie wondered
“Up there,” Geri pointed up Hollywood Boulevard the way they had come. “Near Ronald Reagan”
"Reagan? The President?”
Vikki thought aloud, “What’s he doing there?”“He used to be a film star back in the day.” Patmac explained feeling her age.
“Missed it!” Jennie scowled.
“You were too interested in Kermit and Perry Como, Jennie.” Pat yelled across the street.

Geri’s bleeper went off and Butcher’s face fell. They were waiting to be collected by LAPD to be returned to LAX airport to be flown back to Australia at the earliest opportunity. Escapees from Alcatraz were as unpopular in Hollywood as they were in San Francisco. What the authorities didn’t know was Geri Shaw was likely to cause a fuss about the overnight accommodation in the island prison in the first place. She pressed the button on the bleeper and out of nowhere a police car appeared and stopped by the pavement. Quickly, the group bid Butcher and Geri farewell with Vikki promising to load the pictures and the video onto YouTube when they got home.

The group moved on when suddenly someone pulled up to the sidewalk in a Lexus and wound the window down
“Alright, darlin’?” he drawled to Jennie.
“Perfectly fine young man, could you refrain from curb crawling me.”
“Fancy going out to dinner? I know this lovely little place Planet Hollywood nearby.”
“That’s a surprise given we are in Hollywood.” Jennie
was stern.
“Don’t you know who I am?” the man preened.
“A first rate twit?” Jennie straightened up.
“I’m Mickey Rooney”
“Crikey, he’s uglier in Real Life!”
Lisa hissed to Vikki.
“Are you indeed. I’d rather date Mickey Mouse! Now if you care to sod off!”

As the car drove off Sue wondered aloud whether they had walked into the set of ‘Pretty Woman’ - she loved that film and Lesley suddenly lunged for Jennie screaming hysterically.
“He’s mine!! Leave him alone!”
“Owwwwwww!”
Jennie yelped as Lesley’s nails dug in to her.
“Cat fight!” cried Vikki.
“Vikki, that’s enough.” Sue looked at the young trio who’s eyes were popping out.
“Sorry Aunty Sue.” Vikki was riveted to the action as Jennie fought back and kicked Lesley in the shin whilst Lesley bit her and Jennie let out a shriek that rivalled a Biddy O’Ryan banshee.

“Lesley Anne Green what has got into you?” Hilda grabbed Lesley off Jennie and suppressed the urge to slap her. “I’m ashamed of you!”

That was enough to stop Lesley in her tracks. She didn’t want her hero to be cross with her. “I’m very sorry Miss Annersley” she hiccupped. “But SHE wanted Mickey Mouse,” she stammered controlling her sobs with difficulty. She really hoped Hilda wasn’t going to take her somewhere for a private talk. “And ..and he’s MINE!”

“Oh for heaven’s sake! Lesley! Just how old are you?”
Nell interrupted. “No don’t answer that! I don’t want to know!” as Lesley counted on her fingers.
Nell stuck her hand out and a cab screeched to stop. “Get in!” she motioned to everyone to get in as the car expanded Tardis-like.
“Home James, please”
“Well not Home exactly – more the road where we parked the A-team Van.”
Jennie corrected.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

*still giggling like mad*

Thanks Sugar

Author:  Kat [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just... *no words* :rofl:

Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
ust caught up after being away for the weekend.

Author:  Kathy_S [ Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Such behavior. :lol: :lol:

*wonders what cabby will make of those instructions*
(Assuming he IS a cabby. One never knows in this story! :mrgreen:)

Author:  Xanthe [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:51 am ]
Post subject: 

I very nearly did not make it to the Gather owing to being dead, having choked to death while laughing. You are a loon. But very amusing...

Author:  Jennie [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar, I see I'm in the thick of it still.

Author:  crystaltips [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :mrgreen: :rofl: :mrgreen:
Thanks Sugar

Author:  Vikki [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

*weeping slightly with laughter over here...* :lol:

Author:  Lisa_T [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

*hopes that whoever was driving avoided any 'clever' detours* That's what my Dad tried en route to Yosemite. Result: literal wandering in the mists on a mountain summit. For three hours.

Author:  MHE [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm really glad that my mother is away this week so that I can read this drabble in peace and laugh my head off. :lol: She think's I'm daft to be reading what she still thinks of as 'juvenile fiction'. I have tried to explain - but have given it up as a bad job - I keep an eye on the board all day at work :oops: :D

Author:  Sugar [ Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Some more - sorry it's so late!

Next morning at breakfast Jennie was reading the local newspaper while the Aunties coloured in the placemats and the younger ones discussed the latest opinion polls.
“Give it BACK!” Sue reached over and poked Auntie Pat. “That’s my yellow crayon!”
Hilda smiled. “Now girl’s share nicely. Sue why don’t you use a blue crayon?”
“Whoever saw a blue sun!”
Nell laughed.
“Where’s Lesley got to with the van?” Jennie wondered.

“As long as it’s not been towed away again!” Hilda smiled ruefully as she remembered the chaos the previous evening as they had returned to where they thought they parked only to find the van had gone AWOL on them. Luckily the kiosk owner nearly alerted them to the fact it had been towed away as they hadn’t returned in time and the meter had expired. A trail across town had ensued in the yellow cab driven by some pompous man likened by Hilda to Jem Russell who thought women shouldn’t be roaming the United States without an escort, and it was with great difficulty and great expense that they rescued the van from the impound.

Beep! Beeeeeeeeeep BEEEEEEPPP
“There she is!”
“Fabulous. Let’s get this show on the road.”
Jennie herded everyone into the black van.
“Where are we going today?”
Through the Round Window?”
Sue giggled.
“No I prefer the Arched one myself… more refined.” Jennie disagreed.
"If you don’t belt up you’ll be going through the front window!” Lesley scowled at them.
“Lesley!” Sue was horrified.
“Seat belt Aunty S” Sugar pointed out.
“Ohhhhhhhhhh!” Sue clicked her seatbelt in. “All ready now Miss!”

Lesley manovered the van down the interstate 5 towards Southern California and Vikki was navigating, well she was supposed to be but she had found the search button on the radio.

“It’s raining men! Hallelujah!”

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.


“Ohh I like this one!” Jennie started doing the actions and everyone joined in, including Lesley unless she realised the van was veering dangerously off course towards to a juggernaut.

“Sorry!” Lesley was falsely contrite. She loved the YMCA.
“What on earth…. Lesley. Two words. Steering Wheel. HOLD!”
“That’s three words.”
Vikki spoke quietly,
“Math’s is a Science, Hilda’s speciality is English.” Nell winked at Vikki.
“Lesley did you pick the passports up this morning?” Auntie Pat asked idly.
“Passports? What passports?”
“Little burgundy books with your mug shot in that they stamp when you go to a different country… those passports.”
“Sorry I was having a CRAFT moment. Patmac’s got them.”
Lesley hoped Patmac did have them cos she didn’t.
“Craft?” Vikki looked at Lesley. She wasn’t knitting or cross stitching. At least Vikki hoped not! No she was driving with both hands on the wheel.
“Please no!” muttered Sue to no one in particular. She remembered Lesley’s attempt at cross stitching at one of the Gathers. The only thing that got cross was Lesley!
“Can’t Remember an F*****g Thing!” Lesley grinned.
“Ohhh I like that! It’s better than having a senior moment!” Jennie wrote it down in case she forgot it.

“Patmac have you got the passports?” Lisa asked.
“Passports? what passports?”
“Ours!”
Auntie Pat was exasperated
“Yes, although why I have everyone’s I have no idea. You are none of you children now!” She looked at them. She looked longer at some than others!
“It’s not a Brownie Trip to the Zoo!”
“Pity really. I quite like chimpanzees."
Aunty Pat grinned at Lesley. “They are better than Mickey Mouse anyway!”
“Auntie Pat behave.”
Vikki chided as Lesley pulled the van into a huge carpark and stopped.
“Why do we need passports?” Nell asked. “I…
“You’ll see in a minute!”
laughed Sugar. “Patience …..”
“Is a load of codswallop.” laughed Nell as she got out and stretched her legs.

They found themselves in a large deserted area with a high fence at least 15 feet high in front of them stretching as far as they could see. Cut into the fence in front of them was a 8ft rotating wire grille turnstile.

“Come on!” Lesley shepherded Hilda and Nell through the turnstiles which turned with loud clicks.
“Where?”
“Through there”
Lesley pushed the younger girls into the turnstile.
“Gracious it looks worse than Alcatraz.” Jennie peered into the distance.
“There is NOTHING there!” Sue objected as she clicked her way through the gate and joined the others. When everyone was through the turnstile Patmac turned to Lesley. “Where are we?”
“Mexico!”
WHAT!”
Jennie was perplexed. “This isn’t Mexico!” she said tripping over a cable trailing on the ground. “What’s this cable doing here?”
Lisa steadied Jennie. “That’s the international border demarcation. High tech innit?” she laughed.
“This is no man’s land, Mexico’s through that other gate.” Sugar was reading a sign.

A while later they were firmly in Mexico, and Patmac had celebrated the fact by buying an oversized Sombrero that matched her Tshirt. Lesley had decided she wanted one too –lime green obviously and had bought child sized ones for the triumvirate, after realising that their heads had been covered completely by the normal sized ones.

They had picked up a guide of places to look at and had wandered down Revolution Avenue looking for the Historical building listed.

“That’s it!” pointed Jennie.
“That’s HSBC!” Sue objected
“Ohhh!” Sugar disappeared inside thinking the Mexicans might extend her overdraft if she smiled sweetly enough at them and she has perfected her sweet and innocent look after taking lessons from Vikki.
“The Worlds Local Bank” laughed Lesley
“They get everywhere!” grumbled Auntie Pat and there wasn’t a Barclay’s in sight.
“Are you sure we aren’t going to the zoo Lesley?” Lisa pointed to a zebra walking along the road surrounded by beeping taxis.
“No we aren’t” smiled Lesley as she grabbed hold of Vikki to stop her chasing the painted donkey for a photo.

As the friends meandered down Santa Maria Ave, they noticed a large crowd gathering and went over to look at the banner.

“Toreo de Tijuana” read Sue. “My Spanish is limited to Adios.”
“Auntie Pat can you speak Spanish?”
Sugar asked.
“No, but my daughter can.” Auntie Pat replied digging out her phone.
“The something of Tijuana?” Lisa suggested.
“I worked that much out!” Hilda laughed as they wandered through a gap in the crowd into a sandy deserted area.

Suddenly there was a loud cheer and Matador walked into the arena.
“I think I know what toreo is” mumbled Jennie as the bull was unleashed and walked towards them.
“My daughter says Toreo is bullfighter.” Auntie Pat disconnected her call and put her phone away. “Like that one over there!” she pointed to the caped Matador nearby. “By the way just what are we doing in the middle of the bullfighting arena?”
“No idea! But could we go please!”
Sue was insistent as the bull seemed to be eyeing her up. Next time she died her hair she was going for a goth look.
“Yes can we GO!” agreed Lesley pulling her Sombrero down over her red hair as she saw Nell trying to cover her chestnut streak.
“Come ON!” Nell shunted Vikki and Lisa towards the edge of the crowd as the others followed.

“Have we got everyone?” Jennie counted. “Eight of you and me!”
“There’s 10 of us!”
“Who are we missing?”
Jennie counted.
“Auntie Pat and Lesley, Sugar and Sue, Vikki and Lisa. Hilda and Nell and me!”
AND PATMAC”
added Lisa

“La poder el adulto responsable de Patmac la demanda por favor del poste.” (Can the adult responsible for Patmac please tell her to come down from the pole.) There was an an announcement.

“Patmac and something about responsible adults?” Jennie attempted translation.
“Patmac and something about please demand” Auntie Pat tried translating.
“Patmac and the pole” Sugar mused.
“What pole?” Jennie looked around.
“That one!” pointed Hilda. “Gracious me Is that PATMAC?!” she pointed at the very top of a pole where someone wearing a red T shirt and matching Sombrero was holding on and yelling.

They ran over to her and Auntie Pat looked up shielding her eyes from the sun. “Slide down!”
“Noooooooooooo! He’ll eat me!”
“Throw your hat!”
Jennie suggested and there was a tense moment when Pat removed her hat, threw it and lost her grip.
The hat flew through the air and landed in the middle of the sandy arena and the bull went over to sniff it.
“Quick Slide!” yelled Lisa. “while he’s busy!”
“No DON’T!!!” Sue yelled louder as she saw the bull returning to the pole.
“Throw your T-shirt away!” cried Nell.
“No…. I’m coming!” Patmac slide down the pole and ran out of the arena.


They stood outside the arena getting their breath back as Vikki was taking photos of the ensuing chaos.
“We’ll have to get a move on. We need to get back across the border and I’d rather do it while it’s still relatively light so we don’t loose anyone.” Hilda looked at the fading light.
“Good idea!” Lesley looked at the map she had picked up the foyer of a restaurant. “It’s over that way!” She waved vaguely and everyone trooped towards the customs buildings.
“Just behave in here for heaven’s sake.” Jennie told them “And that includes you three!” she waved her finger at Sugar Vikki and Lisa.

Once inside, they stood still while Jennie counted them as Patmac counted passports.
“10”
“9”
“What?”
“Did the bull get one?”
laughed Vikki as she looked at the maroon passports.
Patmac handed out the passports.
“Nell where’s your’s?”
“In the drawer at home I would assume.”
Nell replied calmy. “I didn’t come in the most conventional way if you recall." “No…… Hilda stole Auntie Sue’s ruby slippers and you just appeared.” Recalled Vikki.
“Genius!” grinned Lisa
“ I did NOT steal them Helena Wilson! I merely tried them on for size!”

“Ok Houston we have a problem”
quipped Sue.
“Can I borrow your slippers Sue? And try and zap myself over the border.” Nell asked.
“You might have a problem.” She pointed to her feet encased in her trainers. “I decided 4inch stilletoes weren’t the thing this morning.”
“Blast!”
“You could try the fence I suppose.”
Sugar looked at Nell.
Lesley looked at the burly border patrol officers and blanched.
“Sugar have you seen those coffins attached to the fence?” Nell pointed to the highly decorated graffiti coffins.
“Have now!”

“OK… so what do we do?”
Auntie Pat looked at them.
“Wing it?” Vikki suggested.
“Wing it? Are you mad?”
“Yup!”
“She’s an illegal immigrant anyway!”
said Lesley.
“For HEAVEN’S SAKE Keep your voices down!” hissed Nell.
“This is when we need the King of Belsiornia!” Patmac laughed.
“He’ll be no use, he was no use when we were escaping from Hitler et al.” Nell shuddered. “I’ll wing it! They can only shoot me afterall.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes- just make sure you get me extradited to Australia and I’ll share a cell with Butcher!”


With that Jennie walked up to the counter and handed over the passports. He looked at them briefly and motioned for each of them to go up which they did as called.
“Lesley.” Lesley was waved through and she stood at the other side of the gate.
“Jennifer.” Jennie joined Lesley.
“Susan.” Sue grabbed hold of Sugar who had been tieing her trainers back up and somehow the two of them got through the barrier and Sugar hid behind Lesley and Jennie.
“Lisa and Victoria.” The security guard stood up and peered down at them
“I’m a good girl I’m a good girl” murmured Vikki.
“Nice try” laughed the immigration officer. “Hilda!” Hilda joined the others and looked long at Nell who stood at the other side of the divide panicking slightly although she had caught on to the plan.
“Patricia and Patricia” he looked at them closely returning the passports to the correct ones. “You had a haircut” he said to Auntie Pat cheerfully.
“You could say that!” Pat replied ruefully as she pushed the heavy metal gate.
He looked at the passport and the remaining friend. Something wasn’t right but he couldn’t tell what. He pressed a buzzer. Nell sent a pleading look to the others. An officer arrived. “Go through!” he smiled at her. “Come on Tom tea break!”

Nell breathed a sigh of relief as she took Sugar’s passport and joined the others. It wasn’t until later that night as she brushed her hair before bed that she realised that lonesome chestnut streak in her hair had gone.

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Poor Nell! Love the bit about Patmac up a pole and them asking about a responsible adult for her!


Thanks Sugar :lol:

Author:  Carolyn P [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:17 am ]
Post subject: 

That was an hilarious start to the day.

Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Good thing I read this on my own!

Author:  Kat [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar wrote:
Sue was insistent as the bull seemed to be eyeing her up. Next time she died her hair she was going for a goth look.


LMAO! Auntie Sue, PLEASE do this! :lol: :rofl:

Author:  Jennie [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

I nearly choked on my chocolate digestive there!

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: ad infinitum

Thanks Sugar

*still chuckling insanely*

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

Bit more! More later!

“What are you looking for?” Nell wondered, holding a gigantic ball of wool in one hand and an even bigger container of drugs in the other. “And could you get off my lap Vikki. You’re hardly the weight of a bag of sugar."
“No that’s Sugar.”
“They must have big bags of sugar in Windsor!”
Nell laughed. Sugar was a light-weight but she wasn’t that light.
“I was looking for those chips Geri bought us. She left them and it seems a shame to waste them. I thought we could go and blow the lot.”
“Or win an absolute mint if we play our cards right.”
She grinned. “No pun intended!” She added
“Got them!” Vikki grabbed the packet of chips
“Where are the others?”
“Having a dip!”
“I’ll suggest Vegas it might come better from me!”

What are we going to do today?
Sugar mused as she munched her toast. They were sitting by the pool, relaxing after an early morning swim.
“Shops?... I’ve read all the books.” Vikki looked sheepish.
“I’ve got an idea” said Nell but no-one heard her.
“All of them?... All 1253!” Pat was incredulous.
“Yup!... What time is it?”
“5 past 10…I think.”
Lisa had left her watch on when she’d jumped in the pool and she thought it might have bitten the dust.
“Yes, it’s just after 10.” Patmac concurred.
“We’re going to miss the Gather!” Pat looked at the date stamp on her watch.

“Noooo….. I can’t miss one!” Vikki’s faced dropped.
“Can’t we use Sue’s “Dorothy slippers” to get us to Milton Keynes in time for the first set of bedtime drabbles?” Lesley pondered. It would certainly be easier and quicker than an M25 M1 drive in the Tardis.
“But what about the rest of us? We can’t go.” Sue wailed.
“No and I think Liss might drop down dead if I turned up at the Gather unannounced!” Hilda thought this through.
“She might drop dead if we turned at all! She thinks we are imaginary.” Nell laughed.
“Let me think.” As Lesley thought, the rest waited… and waited.

“Got it!... Sue, What size are your feet?”
“This size”
Sue waved a ruby slippered foot in Lesley’s direction.
“ Give me your other one… if I hold onto the gatherers and you hold the non-gatherers… and we click………. Well it might work.” Lesley wasn’t sure. Engineering wasn’t her strong point.

The group split into two groups. One holding onto Lesley like they were just about to do the conga; the other holding onto Sue’s fingers.

“Ready?” asked Lesley
Yep!” grinned Sue.

Together they yelled “gather Gather GATHER!! Home Home HOME!”

Suddenly there was a Fizz Bang Whizz Whoosh!

And darkness!

Author:  Kat [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

Uh Oh........

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

but a brilliant solution if it works & they get there safely :lol:

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Fabulous if it works. :lol:


Thanks Sugar

Author:  Pat [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

We'll soon find out!! :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  PaulineS [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

Waiting to hear if they get to the correct place or if they all end up at the gather.

Author:  crystaltips [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hope they don't get splinched!!

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

crystaltips wrote:
Hope they don't get splinched!!


Oooh! Do I detect another DWJ fan?

Author:  Kathy_S [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hope it works!
And none of the 1253 books get dropped along the way....

Thank you, Sugar.

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

A postscript! There might be more after the Gather if people want me to carry on.

“Owwwwww!” Patmac squealed.
“Whoever that is, can you take your finger out of my eye socket?” Lesley objected.
“Sorry Lesley!” Pat removed her finger.
Crack. Hilda’s elbow had collided with someone’s something.
“Owww!” someone shrieked. “That was me!”
“Who’s me?
Nell couldn’t decide if it was Vikki or Lisa.
“Me!” Sugar answered.
“That helps no end.”
“ Where are we?”
Lisa wondered.
“Lisa, you are standing on my fingers!” Jennie yelped.
“What’s that noise?” Vikki could hear something.
“Shush!.... Listen!” Hilda clapped her hands.

“Welcome to the Computer helpline, calls are charged at £10 a minute,
“This is British Gas, you are on hold. Calls will last at least 3 hours”
“Good afternoon broadband helpdesk. We won’t be able to help you!”

Where on earth are we?!
“Black hole of Calcutta!”
giggled Sue, she’d been here before.
“Try again!” Patmac stood up and took Sue’s arm.
“No hang on a min! I just want to knock those blessed idiots heads together while I’m here!” Sue moved slightly and there was a loud click.
“Done! Ok now!”
“Right… ready…. 123!”
Lesley and Sue took a deep breath.

BOOM!!!

Author:  patmac [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I've just caught up with the last 2 weeks of this and I ache with laughing. Alan is a little worried about his credit card though, I could see his brain multiplying my book buying by about 20 - but not as much as the thought of driving an indeterminate number of CBBers!

Especially as some of them are imaginary. I think he may call Thursday Next to put them back where they belong

:wink:

Author:  Kat [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Patmac! Did you have a good holiday?

Author:  Lesley [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:55 am ]
Post subject: 

patmac wrote:
Especially as some of them are imaginary.


I don't think Vikki and Sugar are imaginary, Pat - I'm sure I've met them a few times. Good to see you back - did you have a good time?

Well done Sue - definitely want to do that! Thanks Sugar.

Author:  crystaltips [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
Hope they don't get splinched!!


Oooh! Do I detect another DWJ fan?


Abbeybufo, I was thinking of apparating (or getting it wong!) in Harry Potter.

Thanks, Sugar

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

A laugh from the start. Thanks, Sugar. Yes, more after the Gather, please.

Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

You can not leave it there Sugar.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
We want to know if they return to their own time and place safely????

:hiding: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

crystaltips wrote:
abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
Hope they don't get splinched!!


Oooh! Do I detect another DWJ fan?


Abbeybufo, I was thinking of apparating (or getting it wong!) in Harry Potter.

*goes and checks Deep Secret*
*hangs head in shame :oops: *
[it's 'stripped' there; I was mixing up 2 different authors' words for similar things]

Author:  Lisa_T [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

'Cos splinched is Harry Potter, innit (Yes, my English is atrocious but since I'm currently not Being A Disappointment I thought I'd make the most of it).

*still cackling inanely at the thought of Patmac and the Pole, and Sue's goth hairstyle*

Author:  crystaltips [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:18 am ]
Post subject: 

abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
Hope they don't get splinched!!


Oooh! Do I detect another DWJ fan?


Abbeybufo, I was thinking of apparating (or getting it wong!) in Harry Potter.

*goes and checks Deep Secret*
*hangs head in shame :oops: *
[it's 'stripped' there; I was mixing up 2 different authors' words for similar things]


I'm intrigued to know who & what you meant now.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:12 am ]
Post subject: 

crystaltips wrote:
abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
Hope they don't get splinched!!


Oooh! Do I detect another DWJ fan?


Abbeybufo, I was thinking of apparating (or getting it wong!) in Harry Potter.

*goes and checks Deep Secret*
*hangs head in shame :oops: *
[it's 'stripped' there; I was mixing up 2 different authors' words for similar things]


I'm intrigued to know who & what you meant now.


DWJ = Diana Wynne Jones - writes for children & adults - wiki info here

Author:  Sal [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar this is brilliantly insane! Thanks :rofl:

Author:  Jennie [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 11:26 am ]
Post subject: 

Yes, and I want some more of it.

Author:  crystaltips [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
abbeybufo wrote:
crystaltips wrote:
Hope they don't get splinched!!


Oooh! Do I detect another DWJ fan?


Abbeybufo, I was thinking of apparating (or getting it wong!) in Harry Potter.

*goes and checks Deep Secret*
*hangs head in shame :oops: *
[it's 'stripped' there; I was mixing up 2 different authors' words for similar things]


I'm intrigued to know who & what you meant now.


DWJ = Diana Wynne Jones - writes for children & adults - wiki info here


Thanks

Author:  Xanthe [ Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:00 am ]
Post subject: 

*still laughing awfully hard*

you're mad you are... but splendid :wink:

Author:  Carolyn P [ Tue Apr 08, 2008 9:54 am ]
Post subject: 

Oh dear! :lol:

Author:  Vick [ Tue Apr 08, 2008 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

Finally caught up with this :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks Sugar :D

Author:  Kat [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar! May we have some more please?
:D

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

*Joins in*

Pleeeease may we have some more?

Author:  Sugar [ Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:08 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yes as soon as I have written it!

Author:  Carolyn P [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:09 am ]
Post subject: 

Do we need to tickle you into a silly place in order to get some more? :lol:

Author:  crystaltips [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:21 am ]
Post subject: 

Happy birthday Sugar :popper:

Where I work it's traditional for the birthday person to provide cream cakes. Now I know you can't do that here but more drabble would be an acceptable altenative. :lol:

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

Real life has got a bit hectic recently. Deadlines and such but I know people have been asking for more so here's the only bit I have written.

“Oww!”
“Heaven’s sake where are we now?”
Susan?”
Sue squinted in the darkness. She wasn’t at home. That wasn’t her mum’s voice.
“Lesley!?”
“LESLEY!!!!!!!”
“Lesley you are supposed to be at the GATHER.”
Hilda pointed out.
“I know” mumbled Lesley forlornly. “Your slippers are faulty!”
“But where are the rest of them?”
Jennie looked around for Pat, Sugar and Vikki.
“Milton Keynes probably.” Lesley looked like she might cry and Hilda put her hand around Lesley’s shoulder.
“Never mind Lesley, I have a plan.” Nell grinned behind Hilda’s back. Her plan and Hilda’s approval might not go hand in hand.
“There is something sticky on your shoulder Lesley.”
“What?”
Lesley reached to touch her arm with her other hand and for the first time in her life fainted.

*

“Owww!” Pat landed with a thump.
“Where are we?” Sugar held onto Vikki who was looking down at the logs they were standing on.
Pat peered into the distance and pointed. “There’s Heron’s Lodge, look!”
“Floor’s warm.”
Mused Sugar.
“Tisn’t floor tis fire!” Vikki lept off the bonfire built by Nicola, Gnome and Rosie.
“Should’ve known!” Pat clambered down and they jumped Sugar down. “Gather plus Guiders equals fire!....but where are they?
Sugar looked around. “How many of us are Gathering?”
“30ish I think.”
“No I meant how many of US?”
“Did you bang your head in transit Sugar?”
Vikki laughed. “You me Lesley and Auntie Pat.”
“Thought so”
Sugar peered into distance. “Notice who’s missing?”
“Lesley!!”

“Oops!” Vikki
Where on earth IS she?” Auntie Pat cried.
Suddenly she felt a tugging sensation on the bottom of her trousers and looked down to see an arm complete with fully functioning hand trying to get her attention. To say Auntie Pat did a credible impersonation of a fish was an understatement and her amazement was evident as Vikki lent down and scooped up the arm.
“Lesley?”
“She’s not going to be able answer you Vik”

Lesley’s hand waved enthusiastically.
“Are you OK?” Sugar asked without thinking.
Lesley’s hand clenched into a fist.
“Okkkk maybe not!”
“This is going to make the Gather interesting!”
Vikki laughed.
“What’s she trying to say?” Pat watched Lesley’s hand intently.
“No idea, Ohh its like charades.!”
She wants a pen!”
Vikki realised as Lesley’s hand mimed writing.
“Let’s go inside and find our packs, there is bound to be a pen in there!” Sugar suggested as Vikki put Lesley’s arm inside her coat.

A few minutes later the three of them were inside and Vikki was having to be very standoff to the many people leaping on her for hugs and there was a discussion as to why she kept wriggling. Kitty wondered if she had ant’s in her pants and Xanthe suggested Fleas. As this discussion progressed, the three adventurers took their packs and disappeared into the first aid room, making the most of Dawn being surrounded by her sea of knitting to have a quiet conflab.

Vikki yanked her coat off and poked Lesley’s hand viciously “You know I’m ticklish you nasty thing!” She glared at Lesley’s hand which made a thumbs up sign.
“Give her a pen!” Sugar suggested
“Here, write on this” Pat offered her a Chalet School notebook from the sale table.
Lesley’s hand grabbed the pen and scribbled.

Where is the rest of me????? She wrote.
“No idea hunny. Sorry!” Vikki couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.
Lesley wrote. HELP ME!!!
“Sure no problem,” smiled Pat, “We’ll give you a hand!” Sugar and Vikki spluttered.
Lesley’s hand dropped the pen and elevated her second finger.
“Lesley don’t swear!”Lesley’s fist clenched dangerously.
“I’ll ring Auntie Sue and see if she’s got any random body parts.” Sugar picked up her phone as Vikki stroked Lesley’s hand.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yay I'm first to comment :D

Sugar this is [still] brilliant :lol: :lol:

What a wonderful way to allow for Lesley not getting to the gather after all :wink:

Author:  PaulineS [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

So how are you going to reunite Lesley!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

Oh good grief! :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
Oh good grief! :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Don't worry Lesley - we know you're 'armless anyway :hiding:

*ducks*

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

abbeybufo wrote:
Lesley wrote:
Oh good grief! :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Don't worry Lesley - we know you're 'armless anyway :hiding:

*ducks*


Thin ice, woman, thin ice. :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

PaulineS wrote:
So how are you going to reunite Lesley!!!!


I'm very tempted to leave her like that but as I value my life I will come up with some solution to reunite Lesley and her arm... Where's my staple gun?

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

Oh I don't know - i think I'd be very successful as a one-woman arm-y! :wink:

Author:  Pat [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

Big problem though. If Lesley was writing with that hand, how's she going to write any more RCS and New Girl? Is that why there isn't any more of them?

Author:  Tara [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

:shock: :shock: Speechless!!!!

Author:  Sugar [ Sat May 03, 2008 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sorry for not updating for ages!

The Gather had been a success and it was with considerable trouble that Lesley’s hand was concealed from the majority of the Gatherers, although hiding the hand in Dawn’s enormous bag of wool had meant that Dawn kept thinking her wool was alive as it jumped out of the bag and unravelled itself at an alarming rate much to the consternation of Liss and the other committee members who has threatened to do unspeakable things with Dawn’s knitting needles as the wool disrupted quizzes, games and drabble readings.

Meanwhile Nell had persuaded Aunty Sue to divert to Las Vegas as she had Geri’s chips and it wasn’t fair that the Gatherers had all the fun and the rest of them had to sit twiddling their thumbs for three days. Except Lesley’s she had twiddled her thumb considerably over the weekend and Vikki and the other two gatherers had realised just how expressive one hand could be.

There had been frantic transatlantic phonecalls between Sugar and Auntie over the weekend.

“Aunty Sue say’s have we got her left shoe?” Sugar hissed at Vikki.
Vikki looked blank. “Don’t think so!”
“Nope… soz” Sugar relayed the message “No I know…. It’s not my fault!....Anyway have you got Lesley?.... No we have her arm…” Lesleys hand waved. “she says hello, sends her love all that jazz… I think, bit difficult to interpret to be honest….yeah I know…No we’ll look for your other slipper….might be incinerated though…Tell Lesley we have her arm… speak to you later!” Sugar hung up

A few hours later the three Gatherers were standing by the discarded bonfire, holding a charred red slipper which looked more burnt to a crisp than ruby red.

Auntie Sue reckons we use Lesley as the portal or whatever they call it. She’s spliced herself so she’s the connection.” Sugar hissed quietly so not to be heard by the committee who were tidying up.

Auntie Pat thrust the slipper into Lesley’s hand. “Hold it! And we’ll hold you.”
Suddenly Sugar’s phone beeped. “Now!” she yelled.
Lesley banged the shoe against the fire pit three times and the Gatherers vanished complete with an extra currently essential friend hanging on tightly.

“They’ll be here any minute!” Nell cried as Sue tucked her phone into her bag.
“With my arm?” Lesley asked quietly.
“Fingers crossed Lesley” Patmac smiled at her distressed friend as Lesley scowled. “Ohhh sorry I forgot!”

“Owwwwww!”
Crash Bang Wallop. The Gatherers had arrived. They landed unceremoniously on table in the hotel room and climbed down exclaiming at the journey and Lesley’s arm ran up to Lesley and bounced as Lesley picked it up.

“Come here Lesley… and I’ll reconnect you. Cara smiled at her.
CARA! What are you doing here?” Jennie exclaimed.
“I heard you might need a nurse to reverse the amputation or whatever it was.” She smiled at Lesley.
“Oohh good!” Hilda smiled.
“Do you want anathestic Lesley?" Cara asked cheekily as she watched Lesley’s face. “Thought so! Just a little scratch” she smiled as she jammed a needle into Lesley’s arm.
“OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW” Lesley bellowed.
“Don’t be silly Lesley. It’s just a needle." Hilda admonished.

“How do you want it reattached Lesley?” Cara asked
Lesley paled as Cara took the stapler, the glue gun, the blue-tac and a cross stitch embroidery thread from her bag.“Just sew it up.”
“That’s my grass!” Sugar picked up the lime green thread.
“If you say so, dear” Jennie raised an eyebrow.“Have you been smoking it again?”

A few minutes later Lesley was reunited with her arm, the neat stitching in lime green suited Lesley and was apparently disposable and would just disappear in time.

Vikki looked at Lesley properly for the first time. Her dream from the other night was coming back to haunt her or it hadn’t been a dream at all. Lesley smiled as she flicked her waist length reddy brown hair and her eyebrows vanished under the heavy straight fringe.
“Are you auditioning for Alice?” wondered Jennie as she tweaked the red ribbon tied round Lesley’s head with a bow on top.
“Thought I might” Lesley grinned. Nothing could upset her tonight. She was complete.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat May 03, 2008 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Brilliant, Sugar - thanks for coming back to this - was wondering how long it would be before Lesley was fully armed again :lol:

Author:  Lesley [ Sat May 03, 2008 5:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Waist length? Er Sugar? A word!
:shock:

Thanks.

Author:  PaulineS [ Sat May 03, 2008 6:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks Sugar, glad Lesley is whole again.

Author:  Pat [ Sat May 03, 2008 8:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
Waist length? Er Sugar? A word!
:shock:

Thanks.


I think it would look very fetching Lesley. :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Sun May 04, 2008 3:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Alice in Wonderland? Or a more bizarre Alice? Not that things don't become a bit bizarre in Carroll's version.... At least Lesley hasn't ended up as Captain Hook!

What next, Sugar?

Author:  Jennie [ Sun May 04, 2008 8:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar.

Author:  cara [ Mon May 05, 2008 2:48 am ]
Post subject: 

My dear Sugar
I do not stitch with lime green thread, :shock: I use very neat steristrips and blue plasters (just ask Nell) :D

Author:  crystaltips [ Mon May 05, 2008 10:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
“Sure no problem,” smiled Pat, “We’ll give you a hand!” Sugar and Vikki spluttered.
Lesley’s hand dropped the pen and elevated her second finger.
“Lesley don’t swear!”Lesley’s fist clenched dangerously.


Laughed out loud - & got a very funny look from a passing fellow holidaymaker!!! :rofl: :rofl: :shock:

Author:  Lesley [ Mon May 05, 2008 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 

That's probably exactly what I would have done too! :lol:

Author:  Sugar [ Tue May 06, 2008 12:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Some more

“Lesley! Is it real?” Auntie Pat tugged at Lesley’s locks. “It looks very fetching I must say.”
“OWWWW! Oh course it’s real. Did you think it might be a wig?”

“Never can tell” Sugar winked at Auntie Pat who was sporting her post chemo peach fuzz haircut and bore an alarming similarity to Butcher according to Kat.
“I woke up like it this morning!” Lesley rolled her eyes. “I feel like bloody Rupunzel!”

“You could give it to Rumpelstiltskin I suppose.”
mused Lisa.
“Pardon?”
“to spin into gold!” Lisa
pointed out of the window to a sign a short distance away above a boutique.
Patmac rolled her eyes. “It was STRAW, you’re getting your Nursery Rhymes muddled.” Honestly kids these days knew nothing.

“No, honestly it’s fine.” Lesley grabbed a hairbrush and began plaiting her hair.
“Are you going for the Mary-Lou look or the Rosie look?” Jennie wondered.
“I’m going for the “it’s annoying me and I want it out of the way look!” snapped Lesley. She wasn’t having a very good weekend at all.

“So what’s the plan?” grinned Cara, who understandably wanted to make the most of her trip. It was definitely better than the nightshift on a overheated ward.
“Yeah, where are we?” Vikki asked.
“Daytonna.”
“We are having a lazy few days to let you people recover from the Gather and let ourselves recover from Vegas!”
Hilda explained.

“Vegas!”
“You went to VEGAS!....”
Sugar stuttered.
“without US!” Vikki was speechless …. Almost!
“Yes and a lovely time was had by all.”
“including Alan’s Visa!” they erupted into laughter.
“Did you win?” Sugar enquired
“Yes!” Nell was grinning
"Fantastic!”
“And then we lost it all” Sue was glum.
“Crap!”
“No it wasn’t Craps,it was the poker table!”
Hilda looked sheepish. “I did say sorry!”

A few minutes later they had piled into the van with Cara driving and were heading for the beach.
“Keep going down here and then turn right” Lesley was looking at the map.
“Ohhh I can see the sea!” exclaimed Sugar.
“Odd that. Considering we are at the seaside!” Sue grinned. “The wind’ll change!” she added as Sugar stuck out her tongue and touched her nose with it as she known to do on occasions.

“Keep going!” Lesley instructed as the van bounced up a kerb and passed a selection of parking meters.
“Lesleyyyy.”
“Mmmmmmm”
Lesley was examining her hair for split ends. She never normally had them as her hair was usually two inches above her collar.
“Shall I stop?” Cara slowed the van.
“No… keep going, we aren’t close enough to the sea.”
“Lesley…”
Auntie Pat interrupted. “We don’t want to be ON the beach!”
“Nor in the sea for that matter. You know I get seasick on wetgrass!”
Jennie was trying to read.
“Don’t we?” Lesley grinned. “I thought that’s exactly where we wanted to be!”

“Owww!”
Suddenly the van bounced off the kerb and onto the sand and Cara turned it to face parallel with the sea and she put her foot on the gas pedal and the van sped up down the beach and people scattered from their path.
“Sorry I always wondered what happens when you drive straight at a group of people” she giggled.
“They move!” laughed Patmac as Cara back the van into a deserted area of beach with the bonnet facing the sea.
“Last one in is a lazy lemon!” cried Lisa as she wrenched open the door and ran towards the sea fully clothed.
“That’ll be me then,” Jennie grimaced, horrible wet stuff she didn’t know what anyone saw in it.

A few minutes later the chaperones were laying on beach towels or lounging in loungers, enjoying the Martini cocktails Sue had conjured up and the younger girls were playing in the sea.

“Oi don’t splash!” Sugar swallowed a mouthful of salt water as Lisa splashed her as she paddled past on her lilo.
“Yeah!” Vikki yanked the lilo from under Lisa and watched her vanish under the water.
Lisa squealed as she resurfaced. “Just got stung by something!”
“What was it?” Vikki covered her eyes with her goggles and submerged herself.
“Jellyfish I think!” she said to no one in particular as she rescued the lilo which was floating away with Sugar on it and sat on it.
“Jellyfish!” squealed Vikki as her head popped up and she pulled herself onto the lilo.

“Are they dangerous?” Lisa asked.
“Don’t think so, s’long as you don’t touch the dangly bits.” Sugar wasn’t sure, having gleamed her knowledge of jellyfish from watching Finding Nemo.
“Bit like men then” muttered Lisa under her breath.
“Just keep your feet up and we’ll be fine.” Vikki decreed as the lapping waves shunted the lilo away from the shore as the girls caught up on the gossip from the Gather and learnt the truth about Hilda’s gambling at Vegas.

Meanwhile on the beach Sue was knitting with one hand and cross stitching with the other hand whilst operating her laptop with a knitting needle sellotaped to her head.
“You are knitting and cross stitching as if you’re life depended on it.” Nell looked over to admire the pattern.
“It does!” Sue counted stitches “Sugar will kill me if they aren’t ready in time. I only hope her friend’s babies need to be induced!”
Jennie laughed. “It looks more fun than this” she waved a book in the air.
“Are you reading it for fun?” Hilda knew the title and couldn’t stand it.
“GCSE set text.”
“GCSE? Isn’t that the O’level equivalent?... Surely you’re not sitting that?”
Hilda was bemused.
“No I’m marking the wretched things!” Jennie scowled as she turned the page.

“Ohhh crikey we are way off course…” Lisa peered towards the beach. “Can you see any lime green?”
“Yes, way over there”
Vikki replied as Lisa turned.
“Where?”
“Other way”
Vikki yanked Lisa’s arm and nearly capsized the lilo.
“Can you see them Sugar?” Lisa asked.
“Nope!” Sugar couldn’t see anything without her glasses though so wasn’t really any help.
“Let’s wave!” Vikki suggested to Lisa who took up the challenge admirably, whilst Sugar decided the safest course of action was to hold on for dear life and pray the lilo didn’t sink.

At that moment Pat and Lesley were scanning the horizon for the girls.
“Ohh look! I can see them and they are waving to us!” Pat waved back and Lesley waved her icecream until the icecream fell out of the cornet with a splat.
“Oops!”
“Aww they look like they are having fun!”
Pat smiled
“Let’s hope they don’t get stung by the jellies Matey would be horrified!” Lesley laughed.

Author:  Lesley [ Tue May 06, 2008 5:05 am ]
Post subject: 

Oh dear - are we about to lose the girls? :lol:


Thanks Sugar.

Author:  PaulineS [ Tue May 06, 2008 10:58 am ]
Post subject: 

Thanks love Lesley's long hair. Thanks for the updates.

Worried about the jellyfish though.

Author:  Pat [ Tue May 06, 2008 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
Oh dear - are we about to lose the girls? :lol:


Thanks Sugar.


That'd be an awful shame, wouldn't it! :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Tue May 06, 2008 8:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yes it would be an awful shame Auntie Pat! :shock:

Three hours later, the chaperones were reunited with their charges, thanks to the combined efforts of three dashingly handsome doctors (all gay, Auntie Sue had checked!) a St Bernard and her litter of 30 puppies and a lifeboat (which doubled as a powerboat) and despite Auntie Pat’s protestions that she’d never seen the threee bedraggled creatures before in her life and no they’d not lost anyone worth loosing; Patmac had attempted to force brandy down Lisa’s throat much to her disgust and refused to listen to the plea that a Star bucks might be more beneficial, especially if accompanied by a brownie or three.

After going back to the hotel to shower and change they had decided to visit a shopping mall in the evening for some essentials.

“Brrr.. why is it always soo cold in these places!” Sugar exclaimed as her skin goosebumped.
“Cold?!” Cara laughed. “It’s fine, although I think the sun might have affected my eyes.” She squinted.
“Yes, I was just thinking that!” agreed Lesley.
“Owwwwww! This is going to give me a worse migraine than cheese and chocolate on toast!” objected Sue.
"You eat cheese and chocolate on toast?" Lisa felt queasy.
"Well no... but I did it'd given a migraine!" Sue reasoned
“I’m glad it’s not just me!” Hilda grimaced and pulled on her sunglasses, a move copied by everyone.

They wandered into the big department store at the end of the spur and found themselves in the womens clothing section
“Ohh, lime green and cream my two favourite colours!” cried Lesley and Hilda as one voice.
“Can I help y’all?” a young salesperson approached them.
“No, it’s fine thank you” replied Hilda "We were just admiring all the limegreen – it’s really rather errrr…”
"Green!”
finished Nell.

Not another one thought the young girl, at least they didn’t seen as neorotc as the last customer and didn’t appear to have a hoard of children following them like the Pied Piper of Hamlin as the previous lady who had bought 2 of every item.

“Actually you could point me in the direction of the …."
"Shoes?"
She suggested
"Splasheries?” Hilda assisted.
"Excuse me?” the girl stuttered.
"Bathroom?” answered Lesley.
Certainly, its down the mall to the left Ms…”
Green!”
replied Lesley cheerfully.

The girl paled slightly. Maybe Mall Verde wasn’t the best place to work with a hangover.

“Where else are we going?” Sugar asked. “I need some knickers.”
“C’mon then, in there.” Sue pointed to a shop and herded Sugar in front of her.

A shortwhile later, the others who were still adjusting to the vision problems heard a scream that sounded like Sugar, shortly followed by “Sugarrrrrrrrr!” yelled by Sue and moments later Sugar was being frog marched out of the shop.

“I can’t take you anywhere!”
“Buttt…it wasn’t and then it did and I thought it wasn’t and it was!”
Sugar was incoherent.
“What’s the matter Sugar?” asked Lesley as she twisted her hair into a French pleat.
Sue didn’t give Sugar chance to answer. “Some bloke was standing still, minding his own business, waiting for his wife or something and he moved as we walked past… and she screamed like a banshee and jumped a mile!”
What?”
“I thought it was a mannequin!”
Sugar explained sheepishly. *
“Idiot!” scoffed Auntie Pat as Patmac came up to join them having been to the cashpoint machine.

“Slight problem girls the shopping spree is off.”
“Oh no!”
“How come?”
Lisa asked.
I maxed out Alan’s VISA!”
“Really?”
"Wow he must have a low limit.”
Lesley spoke what they were all thinking.
“Yeah £100,000 a month!”

* This really happened recently in M&S! Was very funny!

Author:  Lesley [ Tue May 06, 2008 8:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

Alan is going to hit the roof! :lol:


Thanks Sugar.

Author:  Emma A [ Tue May 06, 2008 9:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

I've no idea who most of these people are, but am giggling nonetheless...

Author:  Pat [ Tue May 06, 2008 9:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

All members of the CBB Emma!!

Author:  PaulineS [ Tue May 06, 2008 9:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
“Slight problem girls the shopping spree is off.”
“Oh no!”
“How come?” Lisa asked.
I maxed out Alan’s VISA!”
“Really?”
"Wow he must have a low limit.” Lesley spoke what they were all thinking.
“Yeah £100,000 a month!”


Poor Alan. How is Patmac going to tell him? Has he missed her or the money yet?
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Tue May 06, 2008 10:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

Two updates! :D

Thanks Sugar - still giggling - suspect Patmac's only way to explain to Alan would be to show him this . . . :twisted:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Wed May 07, 2008 3:34 am ]
Post subject: 

Thank you, Sugar. :rofl: :mrgreen: :lol:

Author:  Karry [ Wed May 07, 2008 7:46 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
"She claims that she felt “restricted”, and that she wouldn’t want to return to the narrow life on the Platz. I’ve never found it so." - but then what else have you done with your life, Joey?
Note to self: do NOT read this will taking a drink!

Author:  crystaltips [ Fri May 09, 2008 2:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks Sugar, this continues to be so funny.

*wonders how they are going to manage without money*

*shame I'm currently on the west coast of Florida or I'd gladly help!*

Author:  Sugar [ Sat May 10, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

Little bit more!

“Does this mean what I think it means?” Jennie asked.
“Yep!” Patmac blanched under her tan, “He’s actually going to go through the roof! In fact, he might go into orbit!”
“Ohh very Professor Richardson!”
laughed Lisa as Sue went over the cashpoint and pushed some buttons.
“No, I was meaning financially restricting?” Jennie was worried, especially as Auntie Pat had developed an addiction to silver, in any form.
“Panic over!” grinned Sue as she walked back over. “They paid me. And the tickets for “That place we won’t name” are on me!”
“What place?”
Lesley asked as she coiled her plaits into earphones.
“The Dentist!” Sue replied succinctly whilst grinning at the young triumvirate.
“Don’t wanna go to the dentist” Lesley pouted. “I wanna see Mickey.”
“Ohh well DONE Sue!”
glared Hilda.
“Oops sorry!”


As the group meandered back to the A team van, trying unsuccessfully to ascertain the place that would not be named.
“Is it Disney World?” Lesley asked bouncing on her seat.
“Sea World?” Nell suggested, she’d love to see Dolphins.
“Is it Disney World?... Is it?” asked Lesley as she started to dreadlock her hair.
“Typhoon Lagoon?” Lisa suggested, she loved the idea of the chaperones on a water ride.
“Are we going to see Crystaltips?” Hilda wondered. “She’s on holiday over here, on the west coast I think.”
“Busch Gardens?”
wondered Cara,“I’d love to go there. All the animals.”
“Is it Disney World?” Lesley asked, giving up on the dreadlocks and looking for some scissors.
“St Petersburg?”
“St Petersburg?”
Auntie Pat gawped. “Don’t be an idiot Jennie, that’s in Russia! We might have the A team van but it’s not the Tardis!”

The gang clambered back into the van and Sue ousted Lesley from the driver’s seat and into the back with the riffraff, as Nell peered at the map she had picked up in the mall.

“Are we driving a long way?”
“Are we driving through the night?”
Hilda queried as she found a book.
“For Heaven’s sake. What is this? Twenty Questions?” snapped Sue as she reversed the van out of the parking space to the accompanying voice announcing “This vehicle is reversing! This vehicle is reversing!”
“Shut up Mary-LOU!” yelled Vikki and the voice stopped.
“Such power!” laughed Patmac.
“Auntie Sue……….” Sugar hissed
“mmmmmmmmmmmm”
“Are we……..”
“Nearly there yet!”
Lisa and Vikki took up the cry.
“Sugarrrrr….. do you want to walk?”

Author:  Lesley [ Sat May 10, 2008 10:29 pm ]
Post subject: 

Think Sue is going to get a tad tetchy! :lol:


I'd have reached for the scissors two posts ago!


Thanks Sugar. :lol:

Author:  Pat [ Sat May 10, 2008 10:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

You may have reached for the scissors Lesley, but would we let you use them? :twisted: :twisted:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sat May 10, 2008 10:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks Sugar :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  crystaltips [ Mon May 12, 2008 1:52 pm ]
Post subject: 

*loud screams* :shock:

I got a mention...I got a mention *massive excitements*

I am a happy girl (who is not far from St Petersburg!), thanks Sugar

Author:  crystaltips [ Tue May 20, 2008 3:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sorry about spreeing but want more!!

Author:  patmac [ Tue May 20, 2008 10:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

I ache with laughing! I've just read this all the way from my last post on April 3rd - it was the first drabble I headed for. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I can't remember who asked what Alan's reaction would be at his Visa maxing out but he was quite taken with the idea that he had $100,000 per month to spend - he then left for the nearest Waterstones and hasn't been seen since. I do so hope Sugar wasn't telling little porkies.

Great drabble, Sugar! It's the first really mad one we've had in ages.














That's a compliment!

Author:  Sugar [ Wed May 21, 2008 6:42 pm ]
Post subject: 

patmac wrote:
I ache with laughing! it was the first drabble I headed for.


That's a compliment too!! Thank you! There will be some more after I have finished this dreaded essay and sorted my Research out for my Masters.

Author:  Sugar [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

As I have been awake all night I thought I'd write some more of this. Usual disclaimers.

An hour or so later, they pulled off the Interstate 4 and into a Dunkin’ doughnuts carpark.
“Ohhhhhhh!”
“Just for you Vikki!”
laughed Sue.
“Yum!” giggled Vikki as she opened the door.
“Can you get a takeaway order? Enough for everyone and an extra one, or we’ll never get there tonight.” Nell asked.
“Where?” asked Jennie
“To see Mickey” asked Lesley hopefully.
“To where we are going.” Nell replied. “I’m buying no pigs in pokes from you lot.”
“No and I’m not letting the cat out of the bag either.”
grinned Sue, as she stroked Kat who was curled up in a bag of knitting.
Sugar smirked. “I know!”
“What a surprise!”
Auntie Pat was sarcasm itself. “Considering we are at your mercy!”

Vikki returned at that moment, over laden with doughnuts and coffee.
“Help!... Can’t see!” she squealed as one of the coffee cups wobbled dangerously.
“Vikki! I said enough for us and ONE!” Nell admonished.
“That IS us and one… 12!”
“Goodness! No wonder Americans are obese”
Hilda laughed.
“We bought a bottle of water each too!” Lisa added, her arms full of bottles.
“Brilliant!” Jennie opened a box of doughnuts and extracted one with sprinkles on it as Sue dived in for a double chocolate one with chocolate sprinkles on.
“Yummy!” Lisa bit into a bright pink one whilst Lesley was munching on a limegreen one filed with cream.
Suddenly Sugar squealed.
“S’matter?” Nell spoke through a mouthful of doughnut.
“Can’t see!!” Sugar squeaked.
“What?” Lisa spun round and burst out laughing as she saw Sugar with misted up glasses from the steam off her coffee.
“Are we nearly done?” Cara asked.
“Think so” Lesley assented. “Going to the loo though.
"C'mon Lisa!"
She grabbed Lisa by the arm and dragged her off inside, remembering the journey from the airport.


“Patmac can you drive for a bit? I know you don’t know where you’re going but it’s a straight road.” Sue asked rubbing her temples.
“Yeah OK.” They swapped seats. “What’s the matter?”
“Migraine coming. Gosh I do feel sick.”
Sue paled alarmingly.
“How many doughhuts did you have?” Auntie Pat looked at Sue with concern.
Sue mumbled something incoherent.

“HOW many?” squealed Cara who was standing next to her holding an airline sickbag that Auntie Pat had borrowed off the plane on the way over with the intent to sell it on ebay when she got home to make her fortune. “No wonder you feel sick!"

“And I only got 2!”
Hilda was disgruntled.
“Sickbags?” Nell swallowed a mouthful of coffee. “Owww hot!”
“No doughnuts and of course it’s hot its just been made. You are an idiot sometimes Nell Wilson.”
Hilda grinned at her friend affectionately.
“But you love me!”
“We’d love you more if you got in the van!”
Jennie stuck her head out the door as Patmac started the engine, or tried to.
“Ohhh that doesn’t sound right.” muttered Vikki as the engine spluttered.

Patmac turned the engine over again as Lesley and Lisa climbed in the back door, and reversed as the engine kicked in. As she changed into Drive the engine died and the van halted in the middle of parking lot.

“Oops!”
“What’s the matter?”
Patmac peered at the dash board. “We are out of petrol….” She turned her head “Sue didn’t you see the light?”
“Ohh was that what it was? I did wonder!I thought it was just a pretty flashing light.”
“Any idea where the nearest gas station is?”
Nell asked.
“Not the faintest.” Lesley answered “But there is a number in the book in the glove box for emergencies.” Vikki lent into the front over Nell and opened the glove box. “This?”
“No! Give it here! That’s my RCS notebook!”
Lesley snatched the lime green fur covered booklet away and hid it up her jumper.
“Try this one” Nell passed Vikki the rental details and she went outside to make the call.

“They’ll be out to fill it up in a while I suppose.” Jennie joined Vikki outside for a cigarette and began relaying the conversation on the phone.
“She’s on hold… It’s Greensleeves……They answered, she’s lied and told them shes Ms Green!”
“Vikki!”
Lesley shrieked.
“SSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!” Vikki hissed. “We’re on the I4… I think… by the doughnut place.” She spoke into the phone.
“They are talking to her” Jennie added resulting in Patmac muttering “strange that” to Cara who giggled.
“They can’t come tonight” Vikki turned to them as she hung up.
“WHHAT!” Auntie Pat fumed.
“They’ll give us a fill up tomorrow morning when they pick up the breakfast doughnuts they said.”
“Oh well, we managed to sleep in a coach in a flood on the way back from Salzsburg.”
Nell laughed. “We’ll cope.”
“At least we have hot drinks and nibbles on tap”
Hilda gestured towards the takeaway. “No need to melt chocolate.”
“Gud!”
said Sugar with her mouth full.
“Thank goodness!” Sue’s migraine was raging.
“And no Joey to keep us awake all night.” Nell added.
“No, but we have Sugar!” Auntie Pat wasn’t sure who was worse Joey or Sugar with no sleep.
“Give her the hot milk and she’ll fall asleep.” Jennie suggested.
“Don’t bet on it!”

“But we haven’t got a shepherds hut!”
Vikki added.
“You just want the shepherd, with an itchy beard” Lisa teased.
“Just dream Vikki, it’s better than real life.” Nell advised.
“More fun too!” Hilda added with a wicked gleam in her eye.
“HILDA!!!!!!!!!!”
“Yes?”
“Nothing!”
Lesley winked. She loved Hilda.

Author:  Lesley [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

"Yes and...?" Thought it was pretty obvious! :lol:


Love that Sugar - thanks.

Author:  Vikki [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 4:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

*splutters*


Sugar, you really are delightfully insane!! (oh, but just for the record, Krispy Kreme donuts are by far the best....)

*wonders whether it's actually possible to get Lesley a lime green furry notebook....*

Author:  Lesley [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Vikki [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:17 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Does that mean you already have one Lesley? :wink:

Author:  Pat [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

Vikki wrote:
*wonders whether it's actually possible to get Lesley a lime green furry notebook....*


Should be possible to cover an ordinary one if we can find the lime green fur.

Author:  Jennie [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Trust Pat to think of a solution.

Wonderfully mad, Sugar. I was hoping for more of this.

Author:  patmac [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: - (truncated with respect for bandwidth)

Quote:
“Ohh was that what it was? I did wonder!I thought it was just a pretty flashing light.”
Sue! really! :shock:

Thank you, Sugar. Far be it from me to wish you sleepless nights but if that's what it takes to get you to continue this . . . . . :twisted:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

Great to have another bit of this - thanks Sugar :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Author:  Kat [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm impressed that Sue's knitting bag is big enough to fit me in!

:lol:

Thank you, Sugar!

Author:  Sugar [ Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:04 am ]
Post subject: 

Just a bit more. Hopefully the next post will include an excursion and some well known faces.

The next morning the group woke up in varying degrees of grumpiness.
“Does my hair have straws in it?” Jennie peered into the rear view mirror.
“No! Why on earth would it?” Nell asked grumpily.
“They always have straws in their hair the next morning in the books if they get stranded overnight!”
Hilda laughed, “Only if they sleep in a shepherds hut!”
“Did you get backache from sleeping in the coach?”
asked Patmac as she stretched and suppressed a squawk. Lugging Alan about in a suitcase had really done her back in and sleeping on suitcases jammed in between the seats hadn’t helped. Why they had jammed the suitcases there she wasn’t too sure but she’d rather sleep standing up next time.
“Yes!” grimaced Nell.

“So what’s the plan for today?” Lesley asked as she opened the door of the van.
“A wee!”
“Caffeine!”
“Niccotine!”

“OWWWWWWWWW!”
There was a yell from outside.
Lesley’s head shot out of the door and she swore. “Sugar what the hell are you doing out there?”
“Oh that’s nice!.... Not sorry… or Morning Sugar”
Sugar rubbed her shoulder.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes, I went to order us some brekkie but I need some extra hands so I came to see if you were awake yet!”
“Morning Aunty Sue.”
Sugar grinned at Sue.
“Have you been to sleep?” Sue peered at Sugar, wishing she had her contacts in.
“Mmmmmm”
“SUGAR!!!!”
Auntie Pat yelled.
“Well if anyone was still asleep, they aren’t now!” grumbled Lisa, wishing she’d waited an extra few minutes before putting her hearing aids in.
“Are you still awake Sugar?” Auntie Pat asked.
“No! I’m asleep!” Sugar giggled.
“Heaven’s that’s all we need a giggly Sugar, as if she’s not mad enough already.” Hilda exclaimed.
“Since last night?” Patmac asked
“Yup… now can someone help me carry brekkie from over there” she jerked her head towards the restaurant.
Cara, Pat and Jennie went to rescue the doughnuts and coffee while the other’s headed to the restrooms to get changed into fresh clothes.

“Is Kat OK with your knitting Sue?” Lesley asked as she recoiffed her hair for the tenth time.
“Give me your scissors Sue I’m bloody sick of my Rupunzel look. I’d rather look like Sinead O’Connor!”
“NO!!"
"You are NOT having scissors Lesley!”
Auntie Pat added,scribbling busily on a napkin, “The sooner you realise you aren’t having scissors or seeing Mickey the better!”
“But I WANNA SEE MICKEY!”
“Lesley?”
“Yes, Hilda?”
“Be quiet!”

“She’s not there! Kat I mean, rather than Lesley’s sanity.”
Sue replied to Lesley.
“No she went for a wander in the night… said not to worry about her, she might pop up again though, you know what she’s like, although I saw a dead cat in the road earlier.” Sugar explained.
“I hope it’s not her!” Cara exclaimed.
“Even if it is she’ll be OK she’s still got seven lives!” Auntie Pat laughed.

“I think I like Krispy Kremes better.” Vikki mused aloud as she bit into a chocolate doughnut covered in bright blue icing.
“Crispy creams?” Hilda looked bemused. “How can cream be crispy?”
“Yes, how? Cream is supposed to be soft and fluffy”
Nell added “Like featherbeds on top of the coffee.”
“I wonder if they have any frothy cream in there.”
Jennie stood up and walked purposely towards the restaurant.

“It’s a doughnut brand.”
“They went bust!”
Sugar bit into custard filled doughnut and splattered Sue with custard.
“You horror!” Sue swiped at Sugar playfully and accepted a wet wipe from Jennie who had returned with a tin of squirty cream and liberally added 2000 calories to everyone’s drinks.
“They better not have! I’ll sulk!” Vikki pouted.

“You just be grateful for doughnuts at all!” Sue grinned at Vikki “If I’d not stopped we’d not have run out of petrol.”
“Yes Aunty Sue.” Vikki was deceptively meek. It was a look she had practiced and anyway Sue wasn’t wearing her contacts yet.
“How does that work?” Patmac looked at Sue. “Surely we’d have run out of petrol about 30 seconds down the road wouldn’t we?”
“Aww don’t pick on me!”
Sue cried. “You nasty lot!” Everyone laughed.

“What time is the gas man coming?” Jennie asked as she squirted cream directly into her mouth.
“He came earlier on.”
“When?”
“When certain people were asleep!”
Sugar replied.
“Was he nice looking?” Lisa asked
“Like an angel in a loin cloth!” Sugar giggled.
“Damn!” Auntie Pat looked gutted. She liked the angel in the loincloth.

“Does that mean we can go?” Hilda asked.
“Yes I suppose so.” Lisa thought.
“Who’s driving?” Vikki looked at the chaperones as Patmac slid into the drivers seat and the engine purred as she turned the key.
“Let’s get this show on the road!.......” “Straight on!” Hilda adopted her satnav voice.
“Straight into the wall?” Nell asked. “Hilda are you SURE those eyes of yours don’t need glasses” she added as she turned Hilda’s map 90 degrees so it was the correct orientation.

Author:  Jennie [ Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well, apart from the fact that I don't mainline cream, that was brilliant, Sugar.

Author:  Lesley [ Wed Jun 04, 2008 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


I thought I'd already cut my hair off!

Thanks Sugar.

Author:  crystaltips [ Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks Sugar, this continues to be madly great.....or should that be greatly mad? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Sugar [ Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


I thought I'd already cut my hair off!

Thanks Sugar.


:lol: :lol: Wishful thinking Lesley!

Author:  patmac [ Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

I want Krispy Kremes :twisted: They ruined me for English doughnuts!

Great post, Sugar. My back aches just thinking about sleeping on the suitcases. As for carrying Alan in a suitcase . . . . :shock:

As for Lesley as Rapunzel :roll: (No offence Lesley, perhaps you could let down your hair for the 'ordinary' men who don't have spotted dogs).

Author:  Sugar [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just a bit more. Distracted by something else. :oops: And then there is my uni work as yet unfinished. This is more fun.

Just over an hour later they parked the minivan and were being herded into a long shuttle.
"It says kids need to be in the middle” Lesley said as she shifted Lisa over her lap so she was no longer sitting on the outside with her legs hanging over the side.
“Where are we parked?” Patmac asked. “We need to remember!”
“Dopey”
“I’m not dopey! Don’t be so rude!”
Patmac turned a hurt face to Auntie Pat.
“No not you – idiot. We are parked in Dopey!” she pointed to a notice of the green dwarf with a purple floppy hat.
“Ah right. Will someone remember”
“Yep… yeah… no problem”
the general consensus.

A few moments later, they were facing a deep grassy bank with an iconic figure shown in flowers.
“Mickey!” pointed Lesley beaming.
“Only if you are good.” Nell reminded her.
Lesley nodded solemnly whilst grinning like a Cheshire cat on drugs.
“You lot wait here.” Jennie advised as she joined the queue for tickets. “Someone go and get Sugar a chair and the rest of you behave.” Cara and Nell went off to get Sugar a suitable means of transport and the rest filled up water bottles from fountains and covered their arms with sunscreen.

As Jennie reached the front of the queue she was joined by Hilda and the attendant smiled at them.
“How many?”
“8?”
“No there’s 9 of us”
“Ma’am?”
the attendant asked.
“Me and Nell, Patmac and Auntie Pat” Hilda counted on her fingers “the girls, Cara, Sue and Lesley”
“And me!”
Jennie added
“That’ll be 11 then…how many kids in your party?”
“Three!”
replied Hilda without thinking.
“Do you do an OAP discount?” Jennie asked as he processed the order.
“No, sorry!”
“Pity!”
The attendant laughed as he handed over the tickets.

Moments later the group were boarding a monorail to take them to the park having decided against the boat as a method of transport as they thought it was too slow and everyone was too excited to dawdle.

“But I wanted to go on Mr Toad’s Ride” scowled Sue as she glanced at her map.
“There isn’t one!” Hilda peered at her map, held upside down as usual.
“Is so!” Auntie Pat looked at Sue “Move with the times! – How about “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” instead. That’s replaced Mr. Toad from what I can see.”
“Ohhh yeah”
grinned Vikki. “I love Eeyore.”
Sue agreed she was rather fond of Eeyore herself.
“I wanna see Mickey!”
“WE KNOW!”
the others chorused.
“Patmac is there anything you want to do?”
“The logflume.”
“Ohhh yeah!”
grinned Lesley.
“Thought YOU wanna see MICKEY!” Auntie Pat took off Lesley perfectly and the compartment erupted with laughter and no one saw Sugar pale under her tan.
“Any other requests?”
“I’d like to go to the Hall of Presidents please.”
“Hilda?....It’s DISNEY WORLD!”
Nell rolled her eyes.
“I’ll come with you Hilda.” Jennie interrupted. “It might be half an hour to regain my sanity.”

At that moment the monorail slowed and the group disembarked and entered the park and Jennie dished out tickets as she herded them towards the turnstiles.

“I have a kiddy ticket” objected Lisa.
“Shut up!” Jennie nudged her “just try and look small!... the other two will be OK, Sugar looks tiny in that wheelchair and Vikki’s barely visible with that flaming camera moulded to her head. VIKKI!” she yelled as the flash went off in her face.
She swore under her breath. Whoever had this daft idea needed poking had with Sues knitting needles, which had been confiscated as a dangerous object much to the relief of Sugar.

As they walked up Main Street it was decided to stop off at the icecream emporium for a snack to keep them going and icecreams of many flavours were purchased.
“What you got?” Sugar asked Sue as she licked her minty chocolate icecream.
“Butter pecan!” she offered it and Sugar stuck her finger into it.
“Ohh yeah nice”
“Here you go Hilda”
Lesley passed her an icecream.
“Ah didn’t they have any butter pecan?”
“Sue stoled the last scoop!”
Vikki explained as Sue tried to look sheepish and failed.
“It’s nice!” Sugar added. “Nicer than mine!”
“Nicer than mine too!”
Auntie Pat licked her finger.
“It’s MINE!”
“What have you got Lesley”
Sugar turned to Lesley. “Lessssssssssssleyyyyyyy NO!!!!!!!!!!”

with an attempt at a cliff

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 4:17 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar, I'll write the damned essay for you if you come back and write more of this.

Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

What did I do? :shock: *Interested*

Author:  PaulineS [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  Pat [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lesley wrote:
What did I do? :shock: *Interested*


Well I wouldn't care to guess Sugar's next post, but it must be something outrageous! :twisted:

Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

Brilliant again, Sugar - Thanks
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:
:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Author:  Sugar [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 

“Lesley put it down!”
“Lesley Ann Green! Put that down now and stand by me!”
Hilda’s voice was icy and both Sue and Auntie Pat shivered despite the sunshine.
“Lesley PLEASE!” Sue pleaded.

“No!” Lesley waved the scissors alarmingly and Lisa ducked to avoid being blinded.
“Where did she get them?” Cara hissed at Jennie, who gestured towards the Barbers Quartet on the other side of the road.
“Lesley come on!” Vikki tried reasoning.

“No!” she cried as a tear slid down her cheek. “I’m sick of my hair like this.”
“Heaven’s this reminds me of Simone”
Nell whispered to Jennie “Not that I was actually there at the time.”
“Amazing the way the Staff makes judgements about people on hearsay. Like Biddy telling people Corney was a firebrand when she first arrived!”
Jennie was scathing and Nell flushed.
“Go ahead Lesley, cut it off!” Sugar changed tack.
“SUGAR!”
“Don’t encourage her!”

Lesley smiled at Sugar and cut her plaits off with a florish.

“Oh MY GOD!” Patmac was gobsmacked.
“OWWW!” yelled Sugar as Auntie Sue slapped her.
“What on earth are you doing encouraging her?”
“It’s Disney World”
replied Sugar rubbing her arm, “It’s supposed to be the happiest place in the world I didn’t want Lesley to be miserable.”
“Okay!”
Sue relented.
“She might not be miserable but she looks like a freak!” laughed Auntie Pat as she pointed to Lesley.

“I’m not impressed with you Lesley” Hilda spoke quietly. “Go and take those scissors back to the Barbers and see if they can make you vaguely presentable. We’ll wait here.”

As Lesley wandered off to return the scissors and have her bedraggled hair cut into a better style, Hilda turned to Nell “Is it too early to have a mouthful out of that special water bottle?”
“I think given the circumstances you deserve it!”
she laughed and handed over the bottle which had been secreted away in the bottom of her rucksack.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:12 pm ]
Post subject: 

Am I the first to get in with a giggle here ??

Thanks again Sugar :lol:

Author:  Lesley [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Good, hate long hair on me.

Author:  Liane [ Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

Feel sorry for Lesley. Imagine having Miss Annersley (at her iciest) displeased with you.
Thanks Sugar :lol:

Author:  Carolyn P [ Sat Jun 07, 2008 12:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

LOLOL!

Mind you the angel was good!

Author:  Kathy_S [ Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

What next? :shock: :lol:

*restocks the butter pecan*

Author:  Rachel [ Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar, you are as daft as a cupboard full of brushes, you do know that don't you sweetie?

I have just read this whole saga from start to finish, and am now left wondering when you will be posting some more!

Author:  Sugar [ Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

When I have finished writing my distraction!

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:53 am ]
Post subject: 

I'm sorry for not updating this in ages but my inspiration dried up! Not promising regular updates but here's some more!

They had meandered through the park, towards Fantasyland munching icecream and trying unsuccessfully to decide on a schedule for the day. They had given up with Sue complaining it would be easier to organise a Gather and the general consensus was do whatever you want as long as it’s legal. The walk through the park had been interjected with whines of “but I wanna see Mickey” from Lesley and she had been pacified by Hilda who bought her a plush Mickey toy who doubled as a tour guide and every so often he would interrupt the conversation to locate their position in the park or give a random fact and he was proving a hit with the younger triumvirate and driving the others round the twist.

“Awww cute!” Nell smiled as they stopped at one of the rides.
“I’d prefer the original. Disney have ruined it!” Hilda objected
“Gee, shout that from the rooftops why don’t you!” Nell nudged her.
“I prefer the books! Everything gets commercialised these days.” Pat agreed. “But I’m going on the ride anyway.” She added quickly.

A few minutes later, some of the group were milling around the exit to “The Many adventures of Winnie the Pooh” having queue jumped by virtue of the wheelchair holding Sugar (and the bags and 12 bottles of water!)
“That was cute!” laughed Vikki
“Yes, sitting in honey pots was really rather surreal!” laughed Auntie Pat
“Huh!” scoffed Lisa.
“It was!”

Suddenly the Tannoy boomed to life. “Please will the Adult responsible for Annersley Wilson and Macleod Green please come to Dumbo.”
“Coo don’t kids these days have some weird names.”
Patmac rolled her eyes.
“Annersley!... like Hilda. Wonder if it’s any relation?” giggled Lisa. “Like Sam and Sam!”
“Where IS Hilda?”
asked Vikki looking round.
“She went off with Nell and Lesley and Jennie.” Sue reminded her.

“Nell…Wilson…Lesley…Green and Jennie,,, MacLeod.” Vikki mused.
“Is that too much of a coincidence do you think?” Sue pondered.
“NO!”
“Good lord what on earth can they have got up to.”
Auntie Pat
“Heaven only knows but whatever it is it involves Dumbo.” grimaced Patmac. “It’s over that way," she pointed into the distance past the Cinderella carousel.

“Yeah and it’s four grown ups INCLUDING Hilda and Nell.” added Lisa
“Aren’t we grown ups?” Vikki giggled.
“No, well they don’t think so!” Lisa replied. “Just think how long we can rag them if they are in trouble!” she whispered to Vikki.
“Surely that’s got to be innocent enough. It’s only a blessed elephant.” Sue replied.

With that the group hurried off in search of their missing members.

Author:  Jennie [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 1:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

Sugar, you're as mad as a brush, aren't you?

But do write some more, please.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 5:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Thanks Sugar :D

Author:  Vikki [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 5:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

LOL!!
Thanks Sugar! Now, what have those four been up to? and is poor Dumbo alright?? :wink:

Author:  Kat [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: More, please please please?!

I want to know what on earth they've got up to.... :?:

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

Next bit.

“Where on earth are they?” Patmac looked at the Dumbo ride with elephants suspended at varying degrees off the floor attached to a central column.
“They aren’t going to be ON the ride!” Pat reasoned “It’s a kiddy ride. Not even Sugar would fit in that."
“Wouldn’t bank on that”
grimaced Sue remembering Sugar squeezing through the barrier to the ladies loos to avoid paying when she only had a $10 note. “No you aren’t trying!” she added to Sugar.

“They are UP THERE!” Vikki pointed as she spoke to a security man who was looking decidedly fed up.
“WHHAATTT!” Pat craned her neck.
“Lesley!” Vikki jumped up and down and waved at an elephant wearing a blue hat and ruffle.
“Lo Vikki” Lesley sounded glum.
“HILDA!” Lisa yelled.
“yes Lisa?”
“Are you alright up there?”
Hilda nodded from beside Lesley. “Bit of a squeeze though!”
“But what the…”
“We wanted to fly!”
Nell laughed from another elephant, this time wearing a pink hat.
“Right!” Vikki rolled her eyes.
“We wanted to fly!” explained Jennie simultaneously jostling Nell in her seat.
“Don’t you have a broom Jennie?” Aunty Pat asked cheekily.
“Broom?” Nell looked perplexed.

“You could have borrowed my broom if you had asked.” A voice spoke behind Lesley.
As one the group turned and shrieked.

“Hello you mad bunch!” grinned Rachel the Witch.
“What are you doing here?” Sue asked. “Are the spawn with you?”
“No, Kate is but she’s chasing Gretchen who ran off after Pongo and Perdita a while ago. I’ve been treated to a spectacle though."
She gestured to the now lowered ride where Lesley and Hilda and Jennie and Nell were being squeezed and squirmed out of the child sized space.

“How did you even get ON the ride?” Patmac asked as she helped Hilda out
“I have no idea.” Hilda answered taking Patmacs hand gratefully.
“He asked how many, so I said four and we just got on!” Jennie explained.
“I think he might have meant how many CHILDREN!” Sue sighed.
“I knew that but I thought it was worth the risk! And we have got 3 children!”
“We aren’t children!”
Sugar scowled.
“And we weren’t here! Poor Dumbo” Vikki was worrying about any long term damage to Dumbo.
“It’s dishonest!” Pat added. “What would Miss Annersley say?”
“I didn’t think!”
muttered Jennie, feeling queasy after her extended ride.
“She’d have said “Does my bum fit in this?” giggled Sugar.
“I didn’t think of that!” laughed Hilda.

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

No, sorry, there is no way I would fit! :roll:


Thanks Sugar. :lol:

Author:  Kat [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: Fab! *waves to Witchy*

*smirks at Kate and Gretchen*

Author:  Vikki [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

*chokes*

Thank you Sugar!!
(whatever you're on, I want some...... :wink: )

Author:  Kathy_S [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:30 am ]
Post subject: 

Whoever heard of an elephant too small for grown-ups? :shock:

Even elephants who put most of their energy into ear-wings....

(OK, so I have never visited Mickey....)

Thank you, Sugar.:rofl:

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks, Sugar, I think.

Author:  Sugar [ Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

Some more! Sorry it's been a while. Enjoy. Usual Disclaimers! Thanks Vikki for the mad convo that inspired this episode!

“You might want to keep a tighter reign on them!” the attendant looked at Auntie Pat who shot him a withering look that said “you try it buster!” as Hilda and Nell were trying and failing to look innocent, whilst the younger triumvirate just looked smug. A few minutes later the entire group were lining up for the log flume ride “Splash Mountain” having found Kate again.

“Did you find the puppy?” Patmac asked.
“I’ve dropped her into the kennels for the rest of the day” Kate fanned her face.
“OI!” Rachel suddenly let out a squawk as a herd of Chinese people swarmed past all wearing matching yellow Tshirts and giving no regard for her wheelchair. “You’d think they’d be at home watching the ‘Lympics!” she added to no one in paticular as she unhooked her crutches and used one to defend her terriotry and jab them.
“Ohhh Pokey stick!” laughed Vikki grabbing the other one.
“Why would they be watching the Lympics?" Sue was perplexed. “It’s only April!”
“It’s not you know!... It’s August!”
Patmac grinned at Sue.
“We were spposed to be home before that lot were 30!” Sue objected, pointing at the youngest group members.
“You know what Sugar’s like!” Auntie Pat laughed.
“Why are we queuing up?” Kate asked as Sugar looked sheepish.
“What else would we do?” Hilda asked perplexed.
“yes we are British we queue!” laughed Nell.
Kate looked at Sugar and Rachel. “Two wheelchairs, party of however many…. Priority entrance that way!” She pointed to the exit. “C’mon!”

Moments later they were lined up in the exit, having been beaten to the front of the priority queue by a large group of people of varying ages wearing lurid lime green Tshirts.

“Look lady, I don’t care if you are William Shakespeare and she’s Albus Dumbledore,” the young attendent gestured to a sweet looking woman with greying curls.
At that point the attendant looked over at where Kate was standing. “How many?" he asked smiling.
“Good question” giggled Patmac.
“Stand STILL” Jennie bellowed. "Three,” she headcounted Sugar Vikki and Lisa, “seven, eight nine” she bopped Hilda Nell and Lesley with her finger. “11, 13” Aunties Pat and Sue, then Rachel and Kate, Patmac and Cara. “16!”

“But there’s 38 of us!” interjected a young girl with a riot of chestnut curls.
“That’s good – you can have two logs to yourselves!” the man grinned obviously ignoring the crowd. “Get in!” he motioned to them to two stationary logs. “Have you got spinal injuries?” he looked at Rachel who shook her head “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” he looked at Sugar who shook her head whilst Cara spluttered knowing as she did that if Sugar was pregnant sperm had a longer shelf life than a tin of soup!

With that he scooped them out of their respective wheelchairs and dumped them unceremoniously in the first log as the others got in around them. As they log started to chug away Kate hissed at Rachel “You shouldn’t be on here! You’re pregnant!”
“He never asked if I was!”
Rachel grinned cradling her bump
"And as for you!” she glared at Sugar.
“Yeah thank goodness Aunty Sue’s in the other log” she replied fishing in her bag for her pain relief and swallowing it quickly.

Moments later the group were watching the story of Briar Rabbit untold before them as the logs floated slowly along the music proclaiming ”Everybody's got a laughing place A laughing place to go Take a frown, turn it upside down And you'll find yours we know” as the log tilted downwards into a dark tunnel and splashed into an underground cavern.

“Everybody might have!” muttered Jennie annunciating her words properly, she hated missed syllables “but my laughing place is not in here!”

Suddenly the log flume tilted backwards and began an ascent up a long dark tunnel.

“I’ll take you home for dinner – MY Dinner!” laughed an Animatronic Fox as the chains pulled the log flume up a steep incline and Sugar turned an alarming shade of green, she loved the animatronics of this ride – she just hated the ending. A 45 degree angle drop was not her idea of fun. She wished she thought her mad ideas through a bit more sometimes!

"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah indeed!” Auntie Pat spoke as the log slowed into a unloading area where Briar Rabit sang the rather irritating song. “Thank goodness that’s over!” She glared at Sugar, who was looking rather green around the edges, as they got off the ride moments later, after they had descended with a splash and Lesley had let out a blood curdling scream as Hilda had sworn words that Hilda didn’t even know she knew.

"I think we should do something quiet for a bit!” Nell grimaced.
"Away from the lime green brigade please!” grimaced Hilda. “I’m sure I recognised them but I can’t put my finger on who they are."
“No we see that many girls through the School that some just become unrememberable.”
Nell agreed.
“Your grasp of the English language appals me sometimes Helena Wilson!” Hilda rolled her eyes. “Unrememberable indeed!”
“It’s OK!”
laughed Lesley, “They aren’t near here now” “Good!” Auntie Pat laughed, “Your lime green radar is still working then.”Lesley nodded as the PalMickey, which had been jammed into a luminous pink backpack as he had asked Lesley didn't get him wet on the ride suggested they visit Cinderella’s castle.

Within minutes they were wandering round the “Christmas Shoppe” inside Cinderellas Castle and whilst Hilda and Nell choose an ornament for their Christmas tree and Auntie Pat and Lesley tried on matching elf costumes much to the amusement of Vikki who had started wrapping tinsel and fairy lights round Sugar's lopsided superglued halo in preparation for Christmas, despite her protestations that it was too early.

“well, it's only 4 months away” Vikki replied. “Gah, your halo’s on the skew again”
“It’s a fashion statement and it saves on the eye patch!”
Sugar giggled and Kate sniffed her water bottle just in case.
“Someone’s stolen time” Lisa thought aloud.
“We should phone the police!” Vikki decided as she draped Sugar with silver tinsel.
“No don’t I don’t wanna be arrested!” Sugar squeaked.
“What have you done THIS TIME!” Sue glared at her.
“Nuffink your Honour!.... Honest” She added as the chaperones looked sceptical.

“What's that shoved up your jumper then?" Vikki poked a bulge under Sugar’s Tshirt.
“an oompah lumpah” said Sugar quietly, shooting Vikki a look that said “Shut up!”
“and where did it come from?" Nell enquired
“the chocolate factory” the quiet reply.
“and do they know you have him/her?” Hilda asked quietly.
There was no reply as Sugar looked at her Aunts who looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

There was no further time for comment as just then Patmac came up wearing a Santa hat with Mickey Ears peeping out.
“I thought I’d buy it for Alan” she gestured to the hat. "Id been reading the brouchure, if we get in one of the lifts we can go up to the top of the spire. They’re over there.” She pointed towards some modern looking lifts, all glass and chrome. As they piled in ignoring the maximum capacity of ten Lesley ran up her elf hat and Minnie headband both perched on her head.

“We aren’t going to all fit in here!” she said as she squeezed into the lift and lifted Sugar out of her chair so Auntie Pat could sit in it. As she dropped Sugar on Auntie Pat’s lap the oompa lumpa wriggled and made a run for freedom; or more accurately for the control panel of the lift. Jabbing his finger into a keyhole below the button panel the lift doors closed shutting Cara Jennie and Patmac outside.

“Let me IN!” Jennie rapped on the glass as Patmac mouthed something and Cara waved.
“Oompa go home!” the Oompa Lumpa spoke in a high squeaky voice and the lift began to move upwards.

"But I wanna see Mickey” mummered Lesley.
“You’ll have to wait!” Auntie Pat told her.
“I want my chocolate fix!” giggled Vikki as the spire of the castle suddenly opened like a flower and the chrome and glass lift accelerated into the sky.

Author:  Pat [ Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

"Elves" Sugar? :roll: Be careful.

Author:  Lesley [ Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Vikki [ Mon Sep 01, 2008 9:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

You know, it's odd, but some bits of this seem strangely familiar..... :wink:

Author:  Liane [ Mon Sep 01, 2008 9:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lol: :lol:
Fantastic, thanks Sugar.

Author:  Sugar [ Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update this. So much for it being finished by the time we were 30! Do people want me to continue?


The Oompa Lumpa beamed at Sugar. He/She/It was alone in such an enthusiastic reaction. Rachel was bemused whilst Hilda and Nell looked slightly alarmed and Vikki giggled dangerously. Only Lesley didn’t react, as any reaction was a bit difficult with her face pressed flat about the glass. “Aww look!” Sue peered at Oompa Lumpa wondering if she could knit one. Dawn knitted darleks afterall.

"Where are we going do you think?” Patmac asked no one in particular.
“into orbit!” Lisa looked upwards through the glass roof as the elevator rose higher and higher.
“Oompa go home!” squeaked the Oompa Lumpa leaning to the left, causing the elevator to lurch dangerously.
“Owww!” yelped Rachel as Lesley and the glass wall parted company and she landed on Rachel inelegantly.
“What the heck is going on? Sugar?” Lesley gasped.
“Hello Auntie Lesley!” smiled Sugar sweetly.
“Yes S*****?” Lesley replied sweetly as Sugar scowled.
“Ohh if looks could kill!” Auntie Pat observed laughing. “You ought to know better by now Sugar!”
“Sorry Lesley, I don’t know!”
replied Sugar quickly.
There was no chance for Lesley to reply as the elevator plummeted quickly and Rachel the Witch and Lisa started to look rather green around the gills.
“Are we going to the amazon?” Vikki was peering out of the window at a tiny patch of jungle.
“Noo! It’s italy” Sue looked out of the other side of the elevator. “There’s a load of spaghetti down there!”
“I know where we’re going!”
Kate laughed. “That’s spaghetti junction!.. we’re going to Bournville.”
“There’s no jungle near Birmingham!”
Vikki objected.
“You’ve not seen Sugar’s garden have you?” Kate asked Vikki, grinning at Aunty Sue.
“Home!” the Oompa said seriously as the other occupants of the elevator burst out laughing.
“Not my home!” objected Sugar thinking it needed tidying up before an invasion of cbbers.
“Yes OK Oompa you can take us home.” Hilda smiled at the small creature thinking it looked rather like the Psammead. Beaming at her the Oompa Lumpa pressed a button and the elevator plummeted again causing Nell and Lesley to utter the same unladylike exclamation much to the amusement of the triumvirate.

Suddenly there was an almighty crash and the friends found themselves back on terra firma with the elevator smashed to pieces about them.
“Was that meant to happen?” Sue asked as she stepped over a chunk of glass wall. “I have no idea!” exclaimed Auntie Pat as she helped Nell and Hilda out of the contraption.
“Meant to happen!” exclaimed a new voice behind them. “No it wasn’t meant to happen!” The woman turned and found themselves looking at a small man wearing a purple velvet jacket and top hat. “Brian! You know you haven’t got an elevator license!” he poked the beaming Oompa Lumpa in the chest.
“His driving is no worse than Vikki’s” Lesley interjected, causing the eccentric man to peer at her.
“Lesley Ann Green I believe?” he bowed, taking off his hat in an elaborate jesture. “Fan of chocolate slice and rather fond of Wonka bars….” He stopped as there was a low rumbling sound. “Ah aircraft taxiing on the runway”
“It’s not you know”
interrupted Nell looking embarrassed. “It was my tummy. It’s been ages since those hotdogs in Disney.”
“Honestly Nell I can’t take you anywhere!”
Hilda looked mortified.
“A woman’s got to eat Hilda!”
“Don’t do that! It’ll be awfully messy.”
objected Auntie Pat thinking this trip was beginning to seem like an advent drabble gone wonky.
“Do you think we might get pudding if we play our cards right?” Kate asked Rachel who was peering towards a modern looking factory with what appeared to be chocolate waterfall coming out of the wall leading to a swimming pool.
“How very rude of me! Would you like a tour and to sample some Wonka Chocolate?” With one voice they replied.

Author:  Lesley [ Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 14/11/08

Hmmmm, would I like a tour of a chocolate factory and as many free samples as I can eat?.........................................



Is this a trick question? :?





Thanks Sugar. :D And yes, I'd like you to continue please.

Author:  Jennie [ Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 14/11/08

Yes. updates are good.

Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 14/11/08

Always happy to see more -

*sends bunny treats :coffee: *

Author:  Pat [ Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 14/11/08

Advent drabbles don't GO wonky! They're WRITTEN that way!!!!

Thanks sugar. Good to see this back. Congratulations on the procrastinating too! :twisted:

Author:  Sugar [ Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 14/11/08

Usual Disclaimers...

“NomNomNom”
“If you say so dear” Hilda grinned at Rachel who finally swallowed the chunk of chocolate that had hindered her speech for the previous 10 minutes as the group were led into a large room fearing the other side of the waterfall that she had seen outside.
"There is no other factory in the world that mixes its chocolate by waterfall.”Willy Wonka proclaimed happily.
“Can we eat as much as we like?” Lesley asked hopefully dipping her finger into the stream.
“Each may eat their weight if they wish.”
“Goody!” Sue pulled a leaf off a tree and bit it gingerly. “Ohh it’s mint. Sod the diet! Big is beautiful!”
“I love waterfalls”
smiled Nell whilst Rachel looked contemplative.
“I recognise that look!” laughed Lisa. “What are you thinking?”
“Do we want to know?”
Auntie Pat looked at her friend.
“I was thinking about complete immersion. Or a chocolate birth? Maybe?” Rachel cackled and patted her bump.
“There’s an isolation tank in the other room.” Wonka replied, without thinking not having had the dubious pleasure of meeting Rachel the Witch and her rather special brand of insanity.
“Ohh I can modify my birth plan!” laughed Rachel as the two Heads looked at her in alarm.

“Is that wool edible?” Vikki suddenly asked as she stepped over yet another strand on the floor.
“Dunno but I feel like I’m doing cat’s cradle!” Lesley grinned as she jumped spritely over the wool.
“I have NO idea but it is driving me mad!” exclaimed Willy Wonka as he tripped over a fluffy line of wool that was stretched across the room. With that he reached into an inside pocket and retrieved a whistle into which he blew a selection of notes and the group watched as 20 or so Oompa Lumpas appeared from all sides. “I saw it in a film” he explained.
“We know!” Vikki grinned.
“I love that film!” Hilda smiled at him.
“I don’t!” said Nell shuddering at her memories which came back at the most inopportune moments.
Wonka addressed the assembled Oomph Lumpas. “Follow that wool. And bring back the culprit. How are you ever going to win the tidy factory award if there’s LIME GREEN wool trailing from room to room?” he asked exasperatedly.

As they stood around watching the waterfall produce dark, rich liquid chocolate at one side and a conveyor belt with sugared almonds on disappear through a hole in the wall they suddenly heard a squawk of "Oi! That’s my stash. Bring it back! And get your hands off me! Who do you think you are?...... I don’t care if you are Mel Gibson…. Well actually maybe I wouldn’t mind Mel Gibson.”

"DAWN!!!” laughed Lesley recognising the voice and the wool.
“Lesley?” Dawn suddenly appeared in view, her scooter being carried by 6 tiny Oompa Lumpas.
“Do you know her?" Willy Wonka asked incredulously.
“Yup!” Sue grinned at Dawn. “Dawn do you know you are leaking wool?”Dawn nodded. “We didn’t want to get lost! It’s almost as bad as Hobbycraft!”
“Let go!”
Carolyn appeared behind Dawn, trying unsuccessfully to shake off an Oompa Lumpa.
“Could you please control your wool my dear” the elderly gentlemen looked at Dawn who nodded sheepishly. “Thank you, I’d be much obliged and there are signs for directional purposes."

“What is this BLOODY obssession with Wool?”
Hilda hissed to Nell jabbing her in the arm.
“I have no idea but I think Lesley’s the only sane one of the lot of them.” Nell hissed back, looking at the pile of lime green fluffy wool with distrust as if it might suddenly jump up and bite her.

“May we have a taste of the chocolate please?" She asked edging away from the wool towards Willy Wonka.

Certainly, help yourselves to whatever you fancy. There are edible mugs for hot chocolate from the fountain over there, and sugared almonds and strawberry fudge and everlasting gobstoppers too."

Within seconds Lesley had passed round cups of hot chocolate and pieces of fudge whilst Sue was surreptiously filling her pockets with sugared almonds and Kate was trying to force feed Sugar a gobstopper unsuccessfully as that person had found a bright purple lolly and was sucking on it.

“But it’s NOT Green & Black’s” objected Carolyn spitting it into her knitted hanky.

“Not Green & Black’s????” bellowed Willy Wonka turning puce. “This is Wonka’s!!”

“but I don’t like Wonka’s” Carolyn continued regardless. “I want Green & Black’s!”

“And I don’t like you particularly either.”
Hesaid blowing 3 high pitched notes on his whistle. Moments later Carolyn had been picked up and thrown down the garbage chute. “But I only wanted………”
“I want doesn’t get.” He said succinctly thinking she reminded him of Veruca Beauregarde or whatever her name was.
I want gets a slap!” muttered Sue looking squarely at Sugar who mouthed “I’m a good girl” and then continued sucking her lolly.

“What was that noise?” a young girl in brown uniform with a flame tie dangling untidily from her collar ran into the room.
“It was Carolyn being sent down the chute!” Dawn looked worried and turned on Wonka to berate him.

“Who’s Carolyn? We have a Carola.”
“Do we?”
another boyish looking girl with a shock of brown hair which would been better for a good brushing looked surprised.
“Tom! Honestly! She’s the little idiot that ran away to school and then cooked doughnuts in fish oil and then fell in the lilypond and caused Miss Burn to fall in love.”
“She rescued that little Hungarian kiddy, whatever her name is. Singrid?”
Julie Lucy corrected
“If you’re sure. To be perfectly honest one half term disaster merges with another and they are become a blur” laughed Bride.

“Carolyn is the girl who wanted Green & Black’s” explained Willy Wonka grimly.
“How awful!” Nancy looked scandalous
“But this is Wonkas!” Bride added unnecessarily.
“Is there any Green & Blacks?” muttered Tom to Auntie Pat who was just wondering the same thing.
“Here!” Dawn reached into the basket at the front of her scooter and retrieved some mini bars which she threw into the air. As the girls fought over them, Auntie Pat elbowing Bride viciously in the ribs Dawn realised her mistake as she was picked up by the oompa lumpas and dumped unceremoniously into the waterfall and found herself being sucked towards a pipe. The group watched mouths agape as Dawn was first coated in chocolate then sucked up a pipe then spat out onto a conveyer belt where she was rolled over by a giant rolling pin. At this point the machine made a squealing noise and the process stopped.
“Found the plug!” Lesley cried as she wriggled out from under the machine. “Heck it’s dusty under there! Are you alright Dawn?”
“She looks like Flat Stanley!” Lisa observed her critically as Pat and Vikki peeled her off the conveyor belt.
“We need something to reinflate her.” Rachel looked round the workroom for something suitable and within minutes had unscrewed the white chocolate pipe that supplied the table where cherries were being covered in chocolate.
“Here, let’s try this. Open your mouth!” she instructed Dawn as she waved the pipe around liberally coating Nell and Sue in white chocolate as she did so. Dawn opened her mouth and within seconds the liquid chocolate had filled her so she became her usual shape.
“Ohhh that was yummy!” she laughed. “Definitely worth getting yanked about and squished for! It’s rather alcoholic – tastes like Kirsche. I think I might be a bit pished.” She added hiccupping.

Author:  Lesley [ Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 14/11/08

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh and just had to make a point of agreeing wholeheartedly with this comment

Quote:
“What is this BLOODY obssession with Wool?” Hilda hissed to Nell jabbing her in the arm.
“I have no idea but I think Lesley’s the only sane one of the lot of them.” Nell hissed back



Thanks Sugar! :mrgreen:

Author:  Kathy_S [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 4:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 27/11/08

Fascinating. :D

Thank you, Sugar.
*goes to hunt for chocolate*

Author:  abbeybufo [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 27/11/08

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks Sugar :D

Author:  Pat [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Before we are 30! updated 14/11/08

Lesley wrote:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh and just had to make a point of agreeing wholeheartedly with this comment

Quote:
“What is this BLOODY obssession with Wool?” Hilda hissed to Nell jabbing her in the arm.
“I have no idea but I think Lesley’s the only sane one of the lot of them.” Nell hissed back



Thanks Sugar! :mrgreen:



Not quite sure that Hilda and Nell are right this time!!
:twisted: :twisted:
:halo: :wink:

All times are UTC + 1 hour
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/