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An Alternative Staff Entertainment
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=1129
Author:  Katya [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:50 am ]
Post subject:  An Alternative Staff Entertainment
This was on the old board as part of 'CS Rugby Songs' but I thought I might repost it here. If anyone thinks it's too risqué please feel free to move it to St Hild's. I *think* it's OK though!

MaryR, I haven't forgotten the help you gave me with certain words... Thank you again! :wink:


Hilda and Nell were bored one day,
Looking for something to do;
The girls were at home for the holidays,
And the Heads were feeling blue.

Just then a handsome doc came in,
Tall and dark and single;
Something inside both of them
At once began to tingle.

Nell looked at Hilda and Hilda at Nell,
Exchanging a meaningful glance;
They jumped on him right then and there –
He didn’t stand a chance!

But Rosalie came in and caught them;
There wasn’t half a to-do:
The school was used to triplets by now,
But a threesome was something new!
Author:  Kat [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
*giggling*

Thanks, Katya!
Author:  janem [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lovely. The mind boggles :shock:
Author:  leahbelle [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
A threesome! Lol :lol: !!
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
I deny all knowledge. :lol: :lol:
Author:  Katya [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:20 am ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
I deny all knowledge. :lol: :lol:

I'm sure I could find the evidence somewhere... :wink:

Thank you for the comments; here's the next bit.


After their earlier exploits,
Hilda and Nell were whacked.
All the excitement had worn them out
(And him, as a matter of fact).

Miss Dene had taken the doc away,
With a withering look at the two,
At which point it seemed like a good idea
To open the Malibu.

Six and a half glasses later (each)
Hilda was on the floor,
And Nell was trying to fathom out
Who had hidden the door.

And when Rosalie came back to scold them,
She found Nell standing proudly
Doing a striptease on Hilda’s desk,
While Hilda applauded loudly!
Author:  alicat [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
love the words - please can we have the tune????
Author:  LizB [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
*splutters*

Thanks, Katya :lol:
Author:  Sarah [ Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I love them!
Author:  Katya [ Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Although this was originally on the 'Rugby Songs' thread, I never actually wrote it to a particular tune. It ended up rather more 'Stanley Holloway monologue' anyway, if slightly ruder! :wink:


She gave the pair her severest glare,
Then withdrew and left them be,
So they never saw the corners
Of her mouth start to twitch with glee.

While Hilda howled with laughter, Nell
Retrieved her discarded attire,
And after a while they successfully managed
To put out the lights and the fire.

Then they crept into one of the classrooms,
Where Hilda loudly guffawed
At the series of “interesting” diagrams
That Nell drew with chalk on the board.

But she did reluctantly rub them out
When Hilda, with one finger wagging,
Said she didn’t think that the Chalet girls
Were ready to learn about the various things
that men and women get up to in their spare time.
Author:  Ruth B [ Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great to see this again Katya. And Mary, I distinctly remember you lending a hand!!! :wink:
Author:  MaryR [ Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ruth, you may be young and beautiful, but at my age I can't remember what I did ten minutes ago, never mind several months ago! :lol: :lol:

And would I really do that to Hilda? :shock:
Author:  leahbelle [ Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
*giggles*. These are inspired!
Author:  Lesley [ Sat Aug 19, 2006 1:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
Ruth, you may be young and beautiful, but at my age I can't remember what I did ten minutes ago, never mind several months ago! :lol: :lol:

And would I really do that to Hilda? :shock:


Yep! :lol:



Thanks Katya - wonderful!
Author:  Katya [ Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:22 am ]
Post subject: 
MaryR wrote:
... at my age I can't remember what I did ten minutes ago, never mind several months ago!

Allow me to jog your memory ... Does the word 'camiknickers' ring any bells? :wink: Far more refined than my efforts! :lol:


They decided they’d better get ready for bed,
Or they’d never be up in the morning,
And Nell was starting to slur her words,
While Hilda could barely stop yawning.

So they conga-ed along the corridor,
Their cami-knicks on their heads,
Only to find, when they reached their rooms,
That they both had apple pie beds!

It took Hilda ages to realise
Why her sheets appeared to have shrunk -
She'd have managed considerably better
If she hadn't been quite so drunk.

It was too much for Nell altogether,
So she gave up the fight with her bed,
And, after failing to find the bathroom,
Passed out in her wardrobe instead.
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Katya wrote:
Does the word 'camiknickers' ring any bells? :wink:

Nope! Doesn't ring any bells at all. :lol: :lol: But then they do say the past is another country. I obviously didn't speak the language! :lol:

*Wanders away wondering where she was, scratching head in bewilderment.*
Author:  Katya [ Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:48 am ]
Post subject: 
*sits Mary down with a nice glass of red wine and a phrase book* :wink:

And finally...


When Hilda awoke the next morning,
Her head was fit to burst,
But she had to drag herself out of bed
To quench her raging thirst.

She staggered down to the Speisesaal,
Looking like death warmed up,
And tried to focus on not being sick
Into her coffee cup.

She was joined by Nell and they sat there,
Feeling distinctly ill,
Each trying to summon the courage
To swallow a headache pill.

When Anna brought them their breakfast,
They nearly threw up on the spot,
But Rosalie firmly insisted
That both of them eat the lot.

Then she read them a scathing lecture
On the subject of sense and propriety,
Which made them feel just like two middles
Of the not-so-angelic variety.

They’d have to suffer now, she said,
For having had their fun;
And she pointed out that, when hung over,
Two Heads aren’t better than one!
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Katya wrote:
*sits Mary down with a nice glass of red wine and a phrase book* :wink:

But, Katya, that would defeat the object of the exercise. It would have to be one or the other, never both. As my husband always says, "A wine gum in a bucket of water is enough to finish you off." Actually, come to think of it, those were not his exact words but they will do for here... :shock: :roll:

Merci/gracias/grazie/ta very much.
Author:  Squirrel [ Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: - the thread banter is almost as good as the rhyming. Thanks Katya!
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:17 am ]
Post subject: 
"Glass of red wine and a phrase book" indeed. Don't encourage her; she has enough phrases of her own! :lol: :wink:

Oh yes - brilliant rhymes Katya
Author:  Vick [ Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This has made me chuckle...

Thanks Katya :D
Author:  patmac [ Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Is there any more? Please.
Author:  MaryR [ Thu Sep 07, 2006 10:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Unfortunately, patmac, Katya probably won't have any internet access until after Wednesday next week.

Phew! That makes any further slurs on my character impossible for the forseeable future... :lol: :lol:
Author:  aitchemelle [ Thu Sep 07, 2006 11:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fabulous! I never saw this the first time round! :D :lol:

ETC: The emoticon that no longer exists! :cry:
Author:  Cath V-P [ Fri Sep 08, 2006 1:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
MaryR said
Quote:
That makes any further slurs on my character impossible for the forseeable future...


I wouldn't be too sure of that..... :wink:
Author:  MaryR [ Fri Sep 08, 2006 2:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cath V-P wrote:
MaryR said
Quote:
That makes any further slurs on my character impossible for the forseeable future...

I wouldn't be too sure of that..... :wink:


*I've had death threats before - well, okay, a petition.*(Jack Dee)
Author:  Katya [ Thu Sep 21, 2006 10:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol:

Only just seen this - you two crack me up!

Thanks for all the comments. I intended that one to be complete as it stands, and I've nothing else written, but I'm in a lot of very boring meetings this week so I might see what I can do... :wink:
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