The CBB :: View topic - Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009

The CBB http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/

Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009 http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=4972

Author:	Maeve [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Last year there was a period when a lot of spammers were "joining" the board -- that inspired this story. (With thanks to Lesley and her RCS stories for giving me a way to (sort of!) end this short story.) "Hey, you two, wait for me!" Len Maynard ran to catch up with her two triplet sisters who were strolling arm in arm toward the front drive of the Chalet School to await the arrival of the coaches bringing their fellow pupils back to school. "Where were you?" demanded Margot, tossing her curly red gold hair. "Mamma had a message she wanted to give me for Auntie Hilda -- I've only just come from the study now," explained Len, squeezing in between the two and linking arms with both her siblings. "We'd better buck up or we'll be late," said Con, turning sleepy dark eyes to the other two. "I think I can hear the coaches coming." With a squeal, Margot darted off, tugging her sisters along in her wake. But they had time to sidle in among the other girls waiting on the front steps whose families also lived up on the Platz and who had arrived early at the school, like the Maynards. Most of the staff, those who were not on escort duty, were also assembled. "Here they are," said Miss Dene, the school secretary as well as an old girl, as the big coaches pulled up in front of the entrance. "Go join your forms as soon as they line up," she instructed the crowd around her who murmured assent. "Gosh, there seem to be an awful lot of new girls," said Len to her sisters, but Margot was too busy looking for her bosom pal, Emerence Hope, one of the firebrands of the school. "Yes," said Con, "and in every form, too. Oh, there's our lot," she added as Inter V lined up in front of them. "Come on you two." The trio slipped off to join their form, Len stepping in behind Rosamund Liley, one of her particular chums, while Con went up to Odette Mercier. "Had good hols, Ros?" "Rather!" replied that young woman, "Dorothy's baby is a perfect poppet." "This is Pwravxqn," Ros continued, indicating the girl in front of her. "She's from Kqibgana." "I, -- I beg your pardon?" said Len, startled at the unusual name. "Pwravxqn," said that damsel herself. "Oh," said Len rallying, "Mamma is always looking for unusual names." "But we must give you a short," said Con, overhearing. "Pwravxqn is miles too long for every day. How about Pwravy?" "Girls!" The commanding but beautiful voice came from the slender woman at the top of the steps. Dressed in one of her trademark soft blue woolen dresses, Miss Annersley smiled out at the excited girls in front of her. "Welcome! I am sure you are all tired after your journey, so there will be no announcements until after supper. You are to march to your splasheries and then wait in your common rooms until the bell rings for Abendessen. That is all." Miss Wilmot, one of the escort mistresses, leaned over to her and whispered something. The Abbess raised her hand. "One moment please." Miss Wilmot handed her a clipboard, whispering fiercely the whole time. "The following girls will come to me immediately after we finish eating: Dnfupfot, Mhbxyjxp, Pjamulby, Derbreaph --" the beautiful voce went on and on, -- "and Pwravxqn." Rosamund and Len exchanged glances. "Sheepdogs, please help them find their way. School! March!" "This way, Pwravy," said Len, motioning to the new girl. "I'll see to her, Ros, so you can wash and change your shoes. "Oh, thanks, Len," said the latter thankfully. "Now, where's your peg and locker," murmured Len, but the new girl's name was not to be found anywhere. "Here's a free one," said Jo Scott, flashing a smile at the new girl, who, however, failed to smile back. "Oh, thanks, Jo," said Len. "Here you go, Pwravy." "It's Pwravxqn," said that young person, still unsmilingly. There's something rum going on here, thought Len to herself. Meanwhile in the staffroom, pandemonium reigned. "Order! Order!" shouted Miss Wilson, the co-head of the school, pounding a book on the table beside her. "Nancy," and she fixed her subordinate with a steely eye, "you were the senior mistress on escort duty. Tell us what happened -- and no interruptions!" she warned the other listening staff. Nancy Wilmot, looking pale but calm, cleared her throat and began. "We were at Victoria and things were going along normally. There were only two new girls expected and they had arrived in good time and were already on the train." Bill nodded to her to continue. "Then, about 5 minutes before the train was to pull out, a girl came walking up and said she was supposed to be joining the school. I asked for her name -- in fact, I had to ask three times as it was so unpronounceable -- and in the meantime another girl and another girl and another all came up to the train. They were all in full uniform but had no adults with them. By this time, the porters were slamming doors and the whistle was going and they were all talking at once, all giving these extraordinary names!" She stopped in consternation and Miss Annersley nodded to Kathy Ferrars to take up the tale. "Well, like Nancy said, they were suddenly coming from everywhere and the train was practically pulling out. Nancy was very firm with them, insisting that they must go and tell their parents or guardians that there had been some kind of mistake and to phone or write the school, when suddenly, one of the young demons broke away and ran to an open carriage door and the rest streamed after her." "The porters were slamming the doors shut at this point so we had no alternative but to clamber onto the train ourselves. The prees had already collared most of them, so we simply took their names and whatever other information they could tell us, and asked some of the girls to sheepdog them and figured we could do nothing more until we got to the school." She looked rather shamefacedly at the two heads. "Well, you both did all you could in the circumstances," said Miss Annersley, and the two escort mistresses began to look less troubled. "But does anyone have any idea what this is about?" "The information they gave is so sketchy and odd," complained her co-head. "Listen to this," and she began to read from a clipboard. "Dnfupfot says she's from Laqojuza, Mhbxyjxp from Jetocom, Pjamulby from Rarimis, Pwravxqn from Kqibgana --" She raised her head and looked at the two geography mistresses. "Are these places even real?" The two shook their heads glumly. "And under hobbies they all say things like 'leisure' and 'construction' and 'billiards' and 'maintaining my website.'" She looked quizzically around the room as the phone began to ring. "Yes, this is the Chalet School," Rosalie Dene was answering the caller on the phone. "Who? What? Wait -- won't you tell them yourself? Hello? Hello? Bother, she's rung off." "Who's rung off," demanded Miss Annersley. "Who was that?" "It was that Lesley one, you know?" Bill nodded, her lips curving in a rueful smile. "That 'Real Chalet School' person -- is that who you mean?" "Yes," said Rosalie. "And?" demanded Miss Annersley. But her co-head was quicker. "Does she know something about these new girls?" asked Miss Wilson. "Yes. I mean," went on Miss Dene, unusually flustered, "she said she wanted to warn us that this might be happening as it's happening there, too. In the -- in what they call 'Real Life.'" "Hmmpf," said Matey, who had remained silent up until now. "Well, what is it, tell us for heaven' sake." The school secretary looked around at the expectant faces and then at Matey. "Oh Matey, I'm afraid we've been spammed!"

Author:	Pat [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:48 pm ]
Post subject:
Loved it! Thank you Maeve.

Author:	Tan [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:
I am laughing so hard that I nearly have tears rolling down my face!

Author:	Sugar [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:55 pm ]
Post subject:
Hilarious!

Author:	Fiona Mc [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:
That was hilarious and brillant Thanks

Author:	Lesley [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:
Marvellous!!!!!

Author:	Liane [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:
Fantastic, thanks Maeve

Author:	Elbee [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:
Superb Thanks Maeve.

Author:	MHE [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:
Fantastic, thanks Maeve

Author:	Alison H [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:24 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks Maeve!

Author:	Tara [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:
Wonderful ! Thanks, Maeve.

Author:	linda [ Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:45 pm ]
Post subject:
Brilliant. Thanks Maeve

Author:	Fatima [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:40 am ]
Post subject:
Brilliant! Thanks Maeve.

Author:	Mona [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:47 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks Maeve!

Author:	Lottie [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:
Brilliant! Thanks, Maeve! Now, are you going to go on and tell us how to get rid of them, or at least how to stop any more joining!

Author:	Jennie [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks, Maeve.

Author:	leahbelle [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:
Fantastic, Maeve . Thank you.

Author:	Abi [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Hilarious Maeve! Loved the instant shortening of Pwravxqn's name!

Author:	Alex [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Hmmm. How long before the new girls start offering the CS girls "adult entertainment" or dodgy internet medicines.

Author:	Lottie [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:
Alex wrote: Hmmm. How long before the new girls start offering the CS girls "adult entertainment" or dodgy internet medicines. I think Matey might have something to say if the girls start offering doses to each other.

Author:	Alison H [ Sat Sep 06, 2008 12:35 am ]
Post subject:
Given the numerous references to her mysterious "doses", she probably buys all sorts off the internet herself!

Author:	Maeve [ Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:44 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks! Lottie asked: Quote: Now, are you going to go on and tell us how to get rid of them, or at least how to stop any more joining! I wish! They're so annoying, as anyone else doing sheepdog can attest. I had thought about mentioning something about a firewall, and the Abbess saying, "I'm always so worried about firewalls near the juniors' lucky dip." Abi wrote: Quote: Loved the instant shortening of Pwravxqn's name! It was the idea of doing this that more or less inspired the whole drabble

Author:	Carolyn P [ Sat Sep 06, 2008 10:09 am ]
Post subject:
Lottie wrote: Alex wrote: Hmmm. How long before the new girls start offering the CS girls "adult entertainment" or dodgy internet medicines. I think Matey might have something to say if the girls start offering doses to each other. But not at the 'adult entertainment'. That along with this: Alison H wrote: Given the numerous references to her mysterious "doses", she probably buys all sorts off the internet herself! Would make great drabble fodder...why not add them in!

Author:	Lottie [ Sat Sep 06, 2008 4:14 pm ]
Post subject:
Carolyn P wrote: Lottie wrote: Alex wrote: Hmmm. How long before the new girls start offering the CS girls "adult entertainment" or dodgy internet medicines. I think Matey might have something to say if the girls start offering doses to each other. But not at the 'adult entertainment'. I was working on the principle that EBD's Matey would probably not realise what was meant by 'adult entertainment'! I'm quite sure that she'd be shocked beyond belief if she did! Maybe the continuation drabble needs to move to St. Mildred's? Are you going to write it, Carolyn?

Author:	Maeve [ Sat Sep 06, 2008 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Lottie wrote: Quote: Maybe the continuation drabble needs to move to St. Mildred's? Are you going to write it, Carolyn? Yes, yes, Carolyn or someone please continue this somewhere! I'd like to know what happens, too.

Author:	LizzieC [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:28 am ]
Post subject:
More please!

Author:	Abi [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:34 pm ]
Post subject:
Yes, please let us have more!

Author:	Carolyn P [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:
hmmm...don't think I could carry it on...but I could help maybe? Would Matey think spam had something to do with Pork luncheon meat? And with all this talk of spam someone, somewhere has to mention Monty Python!

Author:	Lottie [ Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:03 pm ]
Post subject:
Carolyn P wrote: Would Matey think spam had something to do with Pork luncheon meat? Does it mean anything else? looks innocent

Author:	Kadi [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:08 am ]
Post subject:
Lottie wrote: Carolyn P wrote: Would Matey think spam had something to do with Pork luncheon meat? Does it mean anything else? looks innocent Spam is tinned meat from a pig. Not sure which part/s of the pig.

Author:	Tan [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:35 am ]
Post subject:
I think I prefer not to know what parts of the pig are in Spam!!

Author:	Jennie [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:
Probably better parts than in Tesco's Value Sausages, which are definitely made of pig slurry. (We have a meat-packing plant near us which works exclusively for Tesco. After hearing what goes on there, meat from Tesco is definitley off the menu. We'd rather go without!

Author:	Carolyn P [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:
I am now so glad the sausages I had for tea were turkey ones!

Author:	Maeve [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:51 pm ]
Post subject:
Here's another part of this. Haven't manged to work in all of the funny suggestions people made yet, but am hoping to get to Matey and some online shopping in the next part. But please, feel free anyone who wants to add on to the story themselves. As will be clear in this part of the story, I know very little about the actual working of computers or the internet The school secretary looked around at the expectant faces and then at Matey. "Oh Matey, I'm afraid we've been spammed!" "Spam?" cried Frau Mieders, genuinely horrified. "No, der liebe Karen would not serve us such terrible fake food, when she the good nourishing meals can make." "Um," said Sharlie Andrews, one of the younger mistresses, "I don't think that's quite what Rosalie means." "Well, what does she mean? said Matey. "'We've been spammed." What kind of nonsensical statement is that?" "I'm not quite sure," came a sleepy voice," but I think it's one of those computer germs or viruses or whatever they call them." It was Miss Denny, one of the foundation stones of the school, who taught and coached all sorts of odds and ends on the curriculum. "Viruses?" said Matey, all alert. "Not those sort, Matey," said Bill repressively. "How in the world do you know about computer viruses?" she added, turning to Miss Denny "Oh, I spend a fair bit of time browsing the net for one thing and another," was the airy reply. "How do you think I manage to teach so many different subjects? Online resources are a wonderful thing." A loud bell began to ring. "We have to go into Abendessen as if everything were normal," said Miss Annersely. Her co-head backed her up. "But I think you should stay here, Sarah," she said to Miss Denny, " as you seem to be the most at home with this modern contraption." She pointed to the ancient Apple IIe in the corner. "We'll monitor these new -- these new -- whatever they are, while you see what you can find out on that thing. We'll tell one of the maids to bring you in some soup and fruit." "But," protested Miss Denny, who enjoyed her food and had been looking forward to Karen's usual special first night supper. She found herself talking to an empty room as the others quickly filed out, cheered up in spite of themselves at at the thought of a hot meal. "Well, dash it all!" grumbled Miss Denny as she sat down in front of the ancient monitor. "And this dial-up connection is so slow! If it wasn't for all the hacks young Mike Maynard has taught me, this thing would be no more use than a paper weight." She glanced at the clipboard that Bill had thrown down on the desk as she waited for the computer to boot. "All of the girls seem quite computer literate," she thought to herself, noting how many of them seemed to have their own website. "Hm, 'adult entertainment'. Well, we could certainly do with some more diversions up here on the Platz, especially when the bad weather sets in. I'll have to check out some of the sites later, but first..." There was a knock at the door as the promised tray of food was brought in. Spooning her soup up quickly, she turned back to the computer screen and typed in her password "SGRTM" followed by some commands that brought her to a rudimentary browser. "Now," she thought, flexing her fingers, and she began to browse. Meanwhile, in the Speisaal, the new girls had taken their places quietly and nothing seemed amiss. "Well, that's a relief," said Miss Annersley, observing the room from the top table. "And," pointed out Mddle Berne, "Len has her eye on Pwravxqn and the other girls all have someone equally responsible with them." "I'm not so sure about that crowd at the lower table," said Miss Wilmot, looking to where four of the new girls had somehow ended up with Jack Lambert and her peers. "I'm sure Len and the others sense that something's up, but Jack Lambert and her crowd aren't what one would call intuitive. "Leave it for now and enjoy your pudding," interrupted her friend Kathy Ferrars as plates as apfeltorte underneath featherbeds of cream were passed down the table. Nancy smiled and took up her fork. "Do you really like construction?" Jack was saying to Dnfupfot who had ended up next to her. Dnfupfot nodded solemnly. All the new girls seemed to be unusually shy, but it was the ethos of the Chalet School that all new girls be given a chance to feel at home, so Jack struggled on. Fortunately, construction interested that young woman herself keenly and she talked on between mouthfuls of apfeltorte to tell Dnfupfot all about the new chapels the school was building. There was a movement at the top table as the staff got up to leave and Jack hurriedly got to her feet and tugged Dnfupfot to hers. Having reminded the new girls to come to her study, the staff began to march out, talking softly among themselves. "See, not a slice of Spam," Frau Mieders was saying with a satisfied air to anyone who would listen. "I knew Karen would not let us down." Beside her, Jack felt Dnfupfot startle violently. Across the room, one could almost feel a frisson as the other strange new girls all made the same jerking motion and then stood in their places but facing Frau Mieders. As one, they opened their mouths and began to chant, almost singing, "Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam!"

Author:	Lottie [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks, Maeve! I'm so glad you've carried on with this. Poor Miss Denny, missing out on Abendessen, but I'm looking forward to Matey's internet shopping.

Author:	Alison H [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:51 pm ]
Post subject:

Author:	Abi [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:19 pm ]
Post subject:
Loved the confusion about spam and viruses! Sooooo glad to see more of this! Thanks Maeve.

Author:	Lesley [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Worryingly I can now picture this very clearly!!! Thanks Maeve.

Author:	Carolyn P [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Wonderful! You must do more now!!

Author:	abbeybufo [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject:
What fun to come back from holiday to! Thanks Maeve

Author:	Vick [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:
It's a good job everyone else is in bed as hubby would wonder what on earth I as laughing at Thanks Maeve

Author:	PaulineS [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 4:53 pm ]
Post subject:
Miss Denny and Mike as internet buffs!!!! lovely idea. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lol:

Author:	Emilyc [ Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:
Thank you had a terrible day dealing with spam (lots of adult entertainment and endless medication adverts). This really made me laugh. Do you think the school needs a spam filter?

Author:	Maeve [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Spammers at the CS, updated Feb. 26, 2009
Had a sudden inspiration to try to finish this. I'm afraid it makes very little sense (not that it makes much in any case ), if you haven't read the previous entries. Matron yawned. As if the first day back wasn't tiring enough without all the problems caused by those new spammer girls. After their strange singing at Abendessen, ("Spam, spam, spam, spam/Spam, spam, spam, spam/ Spam, wonderful spam") the heads had decided to pack them off to bed without any further conversation. She had put them in the san for the night. Where they would sleep if they stayed, heaven only knew. She slipped a hot water bottle into her bed and was almost ready to turn the light off when she remembered that she had left her sister's most recent letter in the staffroom and hadn't yet had a chance to read it. Shuffling on her slippers, she tied her robe around her and tiptoed down the stairs. Miss Denny was still there sitting in front of the computer. "You ought to be in bed," she scolded. "Oh, I know, Matey. I've been examining some of the spammer girls' websites -- they're quite -- quite something." And she blushed suddenly. "What did you do with the girls?" she continued. "They're all in the san, for now," came the reply. "Oh, I see. Quarantined," laughed Miss Denny. "Well, I think I will go up now. Do you mind getting the lights?" "No, you go on," replied Matron, picking up her letter from the broad windowsill where she had left it. She glanced at the computer screen and then paused, interested. "Cheap meds!" screamed one headline. "Best multi-vitamins ever!" shrieked another. Matey sat down and began to explore some of the items. She really thought she needed something a bit stronger than aspirin for the girls' various maladies. Maybe she could find something good here. "Longer, firmer!" said another advertisement. What could that be, she wondered, eyes frowning. "A rocket in your pocket!" "Push it on through!" Some kind of syringe, maybe? She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. That must be it. "Guaranteed pleasure!" "Give them what they want!" Very easy on the patient, apparently. "And the very thing for Jem Russell," she thought satisfiedly to herself. She had been invited to his birthday the following weekend and had nothing for him yet. And the doctor loved syringes, always carrying one around with him. She made the purchase -- "Bill me later" -- and a few minutes later was slipping back upstairs. She read her letter in bed, then switched off her beside lamp, but couldn't seem to get to sleep. The strange events of the day kept replaying themselves in her head. Well, at least she had Jem's present handled due to them. If it hadn't been for the spammers, Miss Denny wouldn't have been looking at that website and she'd still have to find him something. "Longer, firmer," she thought, sleepily. "Guaranteed pleasure." "Longer, firmer." Matey suddenly bolted upright!

Author:	Lesley [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, updated Sept. 9
Oh yes - please let us see her presenting Jem with the item!!!!! Great to see this back, Maeve, thank you

Author:	Alison H [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, updated Sept. 9

Author:	Maeve [ Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:26 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, updated Feb. 27, 2009
Thanks! On a bit of a role tonight! There's a new installment just two posts back, and here is the last part. I'm afraid I left Matey high and dry with her dubious shopping There was a half an hour to go before breakfast the next morning as Len Maynard and Rosamund Liley walked downstairs to Inter V's common room. Entering, they found Pwravy and the other new girls each sitting with a small computer ("they're called laptops", Ricki Fry, told them, excitedly) and a circle of Chalet School girls around them. "What on earth are you all doing?" asked Len, curiously. "Oh Len, this is so wizard!" said Jo Scott. "We're on the internet and there are all these websites devoted to the school!" "Whatever do you mean?" asked Rosamund. "Just that," said Margot, tossing her head. She giggled. "It's a bit batty, really. They spend all this time talking about us." Ted Grantley suddenly laughed. "Oh, listen all of you, this is hilarious. There's a whole discussion here about whether or not we could possibly learn to be trilingual the way we do it here." "En Francais, Ted," said Jo Scott, suddenly remembering it was French day. "Oh, bother, I mean, merde," growled Ted. "I don't understand this one," Rosamund was saying plaintively, leaning over Pwravy's shoulder to read. "They keep going on and on about Willy and Ferry and what sort of friends they really were. What are they on about?" "Well, we all agree Willy and Ferry are both poppets" answered Rikki. "It does sound as if they have a bit of a pash on them, though, doesn't it?" "What are you up to, Con?" asked Len, seeing her sister type furiously away on the keyboard in front of her. "They've have these things called drabbles -- like stories -- and people read them and say what they think. I want to post one of mine." "Girls! What is the meaning of this?" Everyone has been making so much noise, that no one had noticed Miss Annersley entering the room. No one answered. "Josephine Scott. And you, Pwravxqn," said Miss Annersley to the new girl, who didn't seem noticeably cowed by the use of her full name, "take those -- those things" -- and she pointed to the laptops -- "to my office and give them to Miss Dene." "The rest of you," and she looked around the room, "are to go to Fruhstuck at once. I forbid you to talk to anyone about what you have been doing. Is that clear?" Nodding abashedly, they all filed out. ********************************************************************** Miss Wilson called for order at the emergency staff meeting called later that morning. "We have to do something before this goes any further," she stated firmly. "Sarah," she turned to Miss Denny, "have you made any progress?" "Well," said Miss Denny, "most people recommend a firewall, but it's a bit too late for that. No, Anna," she added hastily to Frau Mieders, seeing that good woman look alarmed. "It's got nothing to do with actual fire." "Have you any ideas," asked Miss Annersley. "People use filters -- I was wondering if we could come up with something along those lines." "What do you mean?" asked Miss Dene. "Well, a filter normally strains out something you don't want coming in. It's like test, in a way. There's something that tells you that you don't want them." "But they're already here," said Matey somewhat querulously. She had had to get up in the middle of the night to cancel her gift for Jem, and was still scared that the order might somehow be processed. What if she was on their mailing list and catalogues came to the school? Everyone lapsed into defeated silence. "Wait a minute," said Miss Wilmot. "I believe I've a glimmer of an idea. You said we needed some way to filter, or to test them, right?" "Ye-es," answered Miss Denny, doubtfully. "Well, they haven't had their placement tests yet to see what forms they should be in. What if we gave them a test about material they couldn't possibly know?" There was a pause as everyone considered the idea. "You mean," said Miss Annersley, "things that only someone who knew the Chalet School really well would know?" "Like how to bathe in three minutes?" said Miss Andrews. "Or, how to fit an inordinate number of girls in one car?" grinned Miss Ferrars. "Or why did Con Maynard say that Daniel bit the lions?" suggested Miss Wilson, and the whole room exploded into laughter. "Yes." Miss Wilmot looked around the room. It's worth a shot." "I agree," said Matey, rousing herself. "What do we have to lose?" "Those websites," murmured Miss Denny, but so softly that no one heard her. "Very well," said Miss Annersely. "Nancy, you and Kathy and Rosalie compile the questions." "I'll help too," said Miss Wilson. "Did I slip or did young Eustacia Benson cause me to fall -- that's my question." "You think up a few more like that, while I send someone to bring the new girls to the library," answered her co-head and the meeting broke up. Forty-five minutes later, Dnfupfot, Mhbxyjxp, Pjamulby, Pwravxqn and their friends were all seated at tables in the library, looking glumly at the test papers in front of them. "What happens now" Kathy Ferrars asked Nancy Wilmot who was invigilating the test with her. "Just wait and see, I suppose," answered her friend. They each turned to some work they had brought with them, glancing at the girls from time to time. "Nance," whispered Kathy after about twenty minutes, "I think there are fewer of them." Nancy looked up from her papers. "You're right," she said after a second. "Oh, am I relieved. I somehow felt responsible for this whole mess, seeing as I was senior escort mistress when they all -- invaded." "Oh, don't be silly," replied her friend. "Why Matey at her most formidable couldn't have kept those girls off the train." "I suppose not. That reminds me, she had a phone call from a Mr. Big -- I was in the office at the time and happened to answer the phone. I must remember to give her the message." "Look!" Kathy's voice rose in excitement. Only five of them left." Ten minutes later, the last spammer girl had vanished and the two mistresses exited the library on their way to the head's office to report the glad tidings. Nancy caught Kathy's hand and swung it as they walked along. "We did it old thing!" And the two laughed from the relieved tension. Rosamund Liley passed them in the corridor and looked after them curiously. What was it they'd been saying about Willy and Ferry on that internet site?

Author:	Cat C [ Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:10 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Nice one! Thank you Maeve

Author:	Lesley [ Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Wonderful solution!!! Thanks Maeve

Author:	Alison H [ Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:18 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Thanks Maeve .

Author:	Emma A [ Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:11 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Very nicely resolved, Maeve Love Matey's sudden realisation of what she'd ordered, but I fear that she has been sent the item in question anyway... Thank-you.

Author:	Nightwing [ Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
I loved this story, Maeve - I'm sorry to see you've finished it, but what an ending!

Author:	Carolyn P [ Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:52 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Would still love to see Jem receiving said item!

Author:	Abi [ Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:43 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Very neat ending there Maeve!

Author:	Fiona Mc [ Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:19 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Loved the ending Thanks

Author:	JellySheep [ Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Hilariously, ingeniously brilliant!

Author:	jmc [ Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:04 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
I remember reading this when I was lurking last year. Really enjoyed it. wish I could get rid of my spam as easily but very glad that it doesn't turn up in RL.

Author:	Rosalin [ Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Spammers at the Chalet School, completed Feb. 27, 2009
Hilarious Maeve, thank-you.

	All times are UTC [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/