Robin's Story (was A Conversation in Canada)
The CBB -> St Agnes's House
#1: Robin's Story (was A Conversation in Canada) Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:35 pm

I'm in the middle of a long drabble about Len's eldest daughter, and I have to revise my first novel so that I can re-submit it, but Robin's been haunting my dreams for months, so I've had to give in again.

Part I is All Shall be Well, which is in the archive in Ste. Therese

Part II

I stand in the doorway, watching my sister as she gazes into the dancing flames of the open fire. Madge and Jack have taken all the children for a walk, with the dual purpose of tiring them all out and giving Joey a chance to have a real rest. I can’t help sighing a little - Joey won’t have much time to rest over the next few months; is it really fair to tell her now?

But I have to. I have to tell Joey first. It’s not that I’m afraid of telling Madge and Jem, but they are the grown-ups – my parents, in a way. Joey is so much closer, in age as well as everything else. Perhaps – just perhaps – she might understand. And once Joey knows, it will be so much easier to tell the others.

I turn away and shake myself impatiently. Why is it still so hard to tell? I know that all shall be well, my God will make it so. But Joey will miss me more than anyone, and…

“Robin! What are you doing out there, my love? It’s cold in the corridor. Come and sit with me and warm yourself.”

There. I can’t procrastinate any longer. I put a smile of greeting on my face and walk briskly into the room. I pull a low stool up to the fire and sit at my sister’s feet.

“I couldn’t decide whether or not to disturb you,” I say - but surely my voice doesn’t usually sound like that? “You look so peaceful in here, and I know you don’t get much time to yourself.”

“No, and I have enjoyed this afternoon, but I wouldn’t be without any of my wonderful family. I love my kiddies so much, Robin. I do wonder what they will be when they’re grown.”

I smile broadly. This is the sort of speculation I enjoy. I too wonder what the second generation will be in time to come – and whether I will ever see them when they have grown tall.

“Connie will write stories, like her Mamma,” I say.

“I think hers will be better than mine, though,” says Joey, somewhat wistfully. I think so too, but I say, not untruthfully,

“Your stories do matter, Joey. They bring pleasure to so many people.” It’s Joey’s turn to smile.

“Well, I like to think they might,” she says, and we both laugh. “But Connie? Of course it’s too soon to be sure, but I really think her imagination might be something special.”

“Time and encouragement will tell,” I say. “And we mustn’t forget her sisters. Len’s a born teacher.”

“Yes, and she’s so quick at languages. I sometimes wonder whether she might be a translator.”

“Perhaps she might,” I say. “And what do you think of Margot?” I have my own ideas about Margot, and I’m interested to see what Joey might have to say.

“My precious, bad Margot!” A shadow passes over Joey’s face, as it always does when we talk about her youngest daughter – even though the need to fear for her health is long past. “I don’t know, Rob. There are some days when she’s so naughty that I despair of her – and others when she’s so good that I almost don’t recognise her. I think she might need more careful guidance than any of the others – but she’ll also be harder to guide. She reminds me of you more than any of the others – you were hard work too.” I pretend to be offended.

“I hope you think I was worth your hard work!”

To my surprise, the tears roll down Joey’s cheeks. I wanted to make her laugh, not cry – how can I tell her my news if she is already sad? But then I see that she is smiling through her tears.

“O my Robin, you’re worth it a thousand times,” she cries. “I only hope Margot will be one-quarter as special as you.” She shakes her head. “Don’t mind these tears, I’m often melancholy at times like this.” She wraps both arms round her abdomen. “I’m sure it’s twins this time, Robin, and I’m sure at least one of them will be a dancer!”

She can’t find her handkerchief as usual, so I pass her my spare. She smiles a little waterily, so I say,

“What about the boys? Do you think Mike will go into the Navy?”

“We’ll have to see, but if he’s still as keen as this in eight years’ time he’ll have to go to Dartmouth. That’ll give him a chance to see what it’s like, and to decide if it really is for him. And I’m sure Steve will do something energetic and out-of-doors-y – maybe he’ll be a farmer.”

“And Charles will be a famous academic.”

“Is that what you think? I’ve never been sure about Charles, but yes – I can see him sitting over a pile of books and studying.” She sits up. “But what about you, Robin-a-bobbin? It’s all very well discussing careers for the children when even the eldest aren’t ten yet! What about you?”

What about me? O my Joey, such a leading question – how easy it would be to tell you now – but so hard!

Yet –

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

I take both her hands in mine.

“I have decided, Joey,” I say. “It hasn’t been easy. I owe you all so much, and you can’t imagine how much I’ll miss you!” A look of fear flashes into her eyes, and I almost bite my tongue. I’m doing this so badly. “My Joey, don’t look like that,” I say. “I’m quite well – never better, in fact. It’s just that I have finally decided – after such a long time away - that I must go home.”

“Home?” says my sister. “Aren’t you happy with us?”

“O yes,” I hasten to reassure her, but then – since I must be honest – “not quite. Perhaps I should be – perhaps I am ungrateful, perhaps I don’t deserve all you have done for me. But, O Joey, tell me – how did you feel when you realised that you love Jack?”

Her black eyes soften, as I knew they would.

“Like – no-one ever told me what it would be like,” she says, a touch indignantly. “Not even Marie, and she was one of my best friends. It was like – like coming to the end of a dark night and seeing the sun rise for the first time. Only I hadn’t known I was in the dark. It was like waking up after an illness, and knowing I need never be ill again. Only I hadn’t known I was ill. It was like opening my eyes and seeing in colour for the first time – but I hadn’t known my eyes were shut. It was like – like – I knew straight away why Marie hadn’t told me, though Frieda and Simone and I all begged her to,” she says. “One day Jack was a friend, Jem’s colleague, and the next he was everywhere. His face got in the way of my books and letters when I was trying to read. I heard his voice everywhere – in the pine trees rustling in the wind, and in the water filling my bath, never mind when anyone spoke! And his smell – and his hand touching mine…” her voice trails away. I wait for her to remember me. It takes a while, but at last she looks at me with a question in her eyes.

“Yes, I have fallen in love,” I say gently. “I am going to be married. Joey, I have been talking to Reverend Mother at La Sagesse.”

There, it’s said, and now it can’t be unsaid.

My sister leans forwards and takes my chin in both her hands. She looks at me searchingly.

Then she kisses me softly on the forehead.

“I’m so glad for you, my Robin,” she says. “I hope you will be as happy as I am.”

And then – I can’t help it – the tears spill.

“O, I will be happy,” I say. “I will be happy.”



ET correct a couple of silly typos.
ET correct another typo, and because I am a pedant.

Last edited by Joey on Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:04 am; edited 15 times in total

 

#2:  Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:42 pm

That was beautiful Joey. It is so well written and poignant. Thank you for writing this. Star Wars

 

#3:  Author: Helen P, Location: Crewe, Cheshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:42 pm

Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad That was lovely, Joey. Thankyou. No other words.

 

#4:  Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:50 pm

Joey - that was lovely. I feel all emotional now. *dabs eyes with a tissue*

 

#5:  Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:02 pm

That was so lovely. That is now canon for me! It must have been like that. Thank you Joey.

 

#6:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:08 pm

That was lovely, thank you.

 

#7:  Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:09 pm

Thank you Joey, that was beatifully written. Lovely Smile JackieJ

 

#8:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:18 pm

That was beautiful Joey, thank you so very much Very Happy

 

#9:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 6:01 pm

Thank you Joey, that was wonderful.

 

#10:  Author: Ellie, Location: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 5:10 am

Thank you Joey, beautiful.

 

#11:  Author: Laura, Location: London (ish) PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 1:40 pm

Thanks Joey. That's how I'll always imagine it happened!

 

#12:  Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 2:19 pm

Thank you! And I like the way Jo responds to Robin, here.

 

#13:  Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 8:32 pm

That was lovely Joey -thank you.

 

#14:  Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 10:27 pm

Thank you Joey! That was lovely! *scrubs eyes surreptitiously!!!*

 

#15:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 11:30 pm

Thank you Jo a lovely poignant story.

 

#16:  Author: JustJen, Location: Dorval, Quebec PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:29 am

Bravo Joey. That was beautiful

 

#17:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 10:57 am

Beautiful. Thank you Joey!

 

#18:  Author: Robin, Location: London PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:34 am

lovely, thanks Joey.

 

#19:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:36 am

Just wonderful Joey - thankyou so much

 

#20:  Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 9:47 am

Perfect Joey, thanks for posting it.

 

#21:  Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:32 pm

Glad you all like it. Embarassed Embarassed Sadly for me, Robin is refusing to leave my head alone, so you may see Madge being told before too long, even though I really, really don't have time to write it!

 

#22:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:57 pm

Joey wrote:
Sadly for me, Robin is refusing to leave my head alone, so you may see Madge being told before too long, even though I really, really don't have time to write it!
:jump: Oooooooooooh goody goody :red: well obviously not about the lack of time, but about Robin not leaving your head alone Very Happy

 

#23:  Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 8:05 pm

looking forward to it when you have time!

 

#24:  Author: dackel, Location: Wolfenbuettel, Germany/Cambridge, England PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:52 pm

That was lovely, Joey! Especially as it ties in ever so well with my drabble, which your first one about Robin's choice inspired! So thank you for that, too!

 

#25:  Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:14 am

That was lovely Joey - thank you so much. Liz

 

#26:  Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 8:31 am

This didn't go where I was expecting it to! Thanks to Dawn for much-needed beta-ing. This next conversation is in two parts.

Part IIIa

After many minutes of sitting and weeping – such joyful, happy tears! I’m so glad that Joey’s tears are happy now, and not the wrenching grief of the escape from Austria, or the deep, bitter sorrow of those days when Jack was missing – I sit up and blow my nose again. I have something important to ask.

“Joey,” I begin, somewhat diffidently. Joey leans back on her cushions and scrubs her eyes with a handkerchief that’s in even worse case than mine.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Then she looks at me more closely, and a shadow creeps into her eyes. If only she weren’t so highly-strung! “You look worried. Why?”

“No,” I say firmly. “I’m not worried, Joey. Remember Mother Julian’s words – all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well?”

“But you do think something is going to be hard work,” she says shrewdly.

“Not necessarily,” I say. I shake myself vigorously. Stop procrastinating, Robin Humphries! “I honestly don’t know,” I say. “I don’t know Madge – not as well as you do – so I don’t know what she will say.” Joey looks horrified.

“You don’t know Madge! Robin Humphries!”

“I knew you’d be shocked. But think about it, Joey. I was a child last time I lived with her. My home was with you and Jack when I was growing up. I loved my Tante Marguerite when I was little.” I pause. Joey puts out her hand and lifts my chin. Her eyes are dark with compassion.

“What happened?”

“Do you remember the summer I was ten, Joey? You must do, it was your first term as Head Girl.”

“Yes, of course I do.” The memory makes her voice shake. “That was the hardest term of all – we were all so worried about you.”

“And what about me, Joey?” She looks at me, surprised. I feel a little guilty – am I being unfair? Joey looks so shocked. It’s not her I am angry with – she was only sixteen – but I can’t talk to Madge, I can’t.

“We never stopped thinking about you, Robin.”

“Yes, I know, but you never talked to me, did you?”

“Talked to you?” Joey is mystified. “What do you mean?”

“No-one ever told me what all those tests were for – they left me to work it out by myself. I knew you were all worried about me, but no-one told me why. I was ten, Joey – not five, and I’m not stupid.”

“But Jem said – Jem said they tried to keep you from knowing you were being tested.”

“They didn’t try very hard, then! Maybe it would have worked if I’d been half the age I was. But I knew they were testing me for the disease that killed my Maman, and I was so scared, Joey! I didn’t want to die.”

Last edited by Joey on Thu Apr 07, 2005 3:45 pm; edited 1 time in total

 

#27:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 8:38 am

Poor Robin! Jem and Co. should have realised that at ten, she was no longer a baby!

 

#28:  Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:26 am

Very realistic- they treated Robin as a baby for far too long.

Thanks Joey.

 

#29:  Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:19 am

*hugs Robin, and pokes silly doctors!*
Poor kid! She must have been terrified!

 

#30:  Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:31 pm

Thanks Joey

Often thought there couldn't have been many tests they could have done that she wasn't aware of!

Liz

 

#31:  Author: Sophoife, Location: down under Down Under PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:06 pm

Thanks Joey

(((Robin)))

 

#32:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:33 pm

just as good as when I first read it Joey




and the next bit is excellent too Very Happy

 

#33:  Author: Kate, Location: Ireland PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:53 pm

*pokes Dawn for gloating* Laughing Laughing

This is wonderful, Joey. Robin was always one of my favourite characters, I'm so glad she gets a drabble. Thank you so much. Smile

 

#34:  Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:56 am

Next bit! I don't have any more written, but I've given up hoping that Robin will leave me in peace, so I'm sure there will be more in time!

Part IIIb

Joey is stricken. I’m so sorry about upsetting her – but it is right for her to understand me. She is my sister, and she will need to tell the rest of the family about me when I go home. The younger nieces and nephews will hardly remember me, and there may be more to come – I know my Joey! She loves having babies. I would be surprised if she stops at seven (or even eight, since she insists it’s twins this time.)

“Joey, Joey, it wasn’t you,” I hasten to reassure her. “You were hardly more than a child yourself. It was Madge and Jem. They should have told me, and they didn’t. They tried to keep my own life a secret from me. I know they thought it was for the best, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t kind.” Joey sits up at that.

“No, no, Robin. It was kindly meant. I can see how it must have appeared to you – but it was to stop you being worried. It was to protect you. We – they – only wanted you to retain your innocence, your childhood. You couldn’t have done that if you’d known they feared TB.”

“What innocence?”

It’s all coming out now. I didn’t know it would. I’ve never told anyone this – only my confessor, and Reverend Mother.

“Joey, my mother died of TB. I was alone with her all day while Papa was at work. We only had one little maid, and she went home to her family at night. I know about TB. You may think you do, because Jack and Jem work so closely with it, but I have lived with TB. I watched my mother die.”

“I -“ Joey has nothing to say. “I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t, but Papa and Madge and Jem did. I watched my mother’s breathing get harder and harder, and I soaked her hankies in cold salt water to get the blood out, and I held her hand as she went to sleep for the last time – Papa was at work. I sang her to sleep, and she never woke up again.”

The tears are rolling down Joey’s face again – but not tears of joy this time. But I do not weep. I have no more tears for this.

“And after Maman left me, Papa took me to a strange place and then went away while I was asleep, and I woke up to found myself surrounded by strangers who made me into a baby again. I was six, and I had already seen more suffering than most of them had dreamed.”

“I didn’t know,” said Joey flatly.

“And it was such a relief!”

Joey stops crying, and looks at me in surprise.

“I had spent the last two years looking after Maman, and now I could be a little girl again. Everyone spoiled me, and I loved being spoiled. It was wonderful for the first few months. I’ll never forget that first Christmas in Austria!”

Joey gave some money to the Little Match Girl, so she didn’t have to die. The Christ Child came and filled my shoes with bonbons, and Oncle Dick – whom I hadn’t even met yet – sent me a red dress with holly round the hem. And there was such a big, shiny tree, and I looked after Die Grossmutter and told her her Natalie was smiling down from Heaven above, and we had goose for dinner, and Joey wore a pinafore.

“But I got older, and I knew everyone was worried about me having caught TB from Maman, because I was worried, too.”

“But, Robin, we were only trying to do what was best for you. We were trying to look after you.”

“O, Joey, I know! And I’m so grateful. It was not fair or kind, but it was done in love and it came from love, and I am so grateful for that love. But now do you see why it is so hard for me to tell Madge about going home?”

 

#35:  Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 12:20 pm

Thanks Joey - it's lovely to see this all from the adult Robin's point of view.

Hope the bunny keeps whispering to you

Liz

 

#36:  Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:45 pm

Poor Robin - she must have been so afraid at times. I'm glad that she could confide in Jo though, and let her know what it was like for her.

Thanks for writing more of this Joey - although I'd also like to read more Wink

Star Wars

 

#37:  Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:23 pm

It may have been meant kindly, but it was not right - at the age of ten she was not a baby - Madge and Jem should have seen that.

Thanks you Joey, good to see the adult Robin's POV.

 

#38:  Author: Sophoife, Location: down under Down Under PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 11:14 pm

This is really good!

slopes off to feed Joey's bunny...

 

#39:  Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:21 am

thank you for carrying on with this, Jo. I'm looking forward to more

 

#40:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:52 pm

Kate wrote:
*pokes Dawn for gloating* Laughing Laughing

This is wonderful, Joey. Robin was always one of my favourite characters, I'm so glad she gets a drabble. Thank you so much. Smile



but it was the first time ever I've been able to gloat so I thought I'd better make the most of it Very Happy


and it was such a good episode to gloat over

 

#41:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 8:25 pm

Never mind the age of 10, think of a what, six, year old watching he rmother die, alone with her, or with just a maod, nursing her and then being left with strangers with what seems like little preparation. That is wrong. Poor poor kid.

 

#42:  Author: Cath, Location: Coventry PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 12:05 pm

Poor Robin Sad Thanks Joey, this is lovely.

 

#43:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 11:36 pm

Well seing as I appear to currently be being Uto'd then I may as well have another gloat for free as it were Very Happy




You'll enjoy it Very Happy Very Happy

 

#44:  Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:07 am

Sophoife wrote:
This is really good!

slopes off to feed Joey's bunny...


Right, whoever else has been feeding my bunny should own up NOW. I am currently working fifteen hour days at least three times a week to get the year end accounts done, I am struggling with the lovely children's committee at my Meeting for Worship, and it's the silly seaon for committee meetings. The last thing I need is to go right back in time to the beginning of Jo of the CS!

Two bits written for now, this and one more. And you will have to wait for the next bits after that. You can all practise being patient. It will be good for you.

Part IVa

Papa said he couldn’t take me to Russia because it wouldn’t be safe. But I didn’t understand how it could be safe for him, if it wasn’t for me. He said he was taking me to be looked after by a lovely young lady who would take good care of me, and he said he would write and she would read the letters to me, and I must hurry up and learn how to read and write properly, so that I could write back. Maman and Papa had always said I must do as I was told and not ask questions, so I didn’t, but I was so sad to leave our apartment. I had looked after Maman there, and now I would never see it again.

I was so tired – the journey from France took so long – that I fell asleep. I tried to stay awake, because I knew it would be a long time before I saw Papa again, but I could not. Papa woke me up to say goodbye. He spoke English to me, and said,

“Robin, this is Miss Bettany. I want you to love and obey her as you would Maman or myself. I knew her Papa, long ago, and I know you will be safe with her.” The tears welled up in my eyes – I couldn’t help it – and he said, “Now, Robin, there is nothing for you to cry about, my pet. I have to go away to work, and you have to stay with Miss Bettany to be safe. That’s the way it is, and tears won’t change it.” So I gulped and swallowed my tears, and kissed Papa goodbye. Miss Bettany lifted me up so that I could wave to Papa, and then he was gone. Only Papa and I remembered Maman, and now we couldn’t even remember her together.

Miss Bettany put me down carefully and crouched so that I didn’t have to look up at her. My eyes were stinging and I had to gulp once or twice, but I was able to return her smile. I was so tired that I leaned against her, and she put her arm around me.

“How old are you, Robin?” she asked. To my relief, she spoke French, so I didn’t have to think before I replied,

“I was six last Spring.”

“Then you will be the youngest pupil at the Chalet School. Can you read and write?”

“Yes,” I said proudly. “I can write Marya Cecilia Humphries.”

“Very good,” said Miss Bettany seriously. “Then it will be easy for you to learn to read story-books and write to Papa.” She stood up, but still held me close to her skirts. A strange woman came up to her, and they spoke English, so rapidly that I couldn’t follow. I gathered that the stranger was surprised about something. I tried to listen to what they were saying, but I was so bewildered that I found my eyes stinging again. At least obeying Papa gave me something to concentrate on!

Last edited by Joey on Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:54 am; edited 2 times in total

 

#45:  Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:23 am

Poor little Robin, and my opinion of Ted Humphries has just got worse.

Thanks Joey - even if it's encroaching on your sleep time! Laughing

 

#46:  Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 11:57 am

Thanks Joey

We will be patient (for a little while at least! Wink )

Hope you can find at least little opportunites to relax and have some time to yourself.

Liz

 

#47:  Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 12:29 pm

Poor Robin - you forget how much she went through while still a young child.

Thanks Joey

Star Wars

 

#48:  Author: Laura, Location: London (ish) PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 12:32 pm

Thanks Joey. We will be patient - honest! Very Happy

Is lovely to see more of Robin in this - as a character who always rather annoyed me (goodness knows why) I'm starting to like her so much more! Am glad she's finally told Joey, too.

 

#49:  Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 12:50 pm

Sympathies on the year end accounts, Joey. I just have one session with the accountant on Thursday and then he can take them away and play with them on his own!

Probably because I read the early books when I was 8 or 9, I didn't make the connection that Robin shouldn't have been babied right from the start. After all, to an 8 year old, 6 yr olds are too young to know anything. I also think I did a bit of an EBD in my head over her age - other people grew up but Robin was (in my mind) still a baby all through the Austria books.

You're right about it all being terribly casual. Take your 6 yr old, dump her, with no warning to either side, with someone who's father you once new and trot off to Russia!

No wonder she has to get this off her chest and get some closure before she leaves.

thank you Joey. Yet another new perspective coming across here!

 

#50:  Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 1:48 pm

and the next bit made me Crying or Very sad

 

#51:  Author: pygmy, Location: glasgow PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 2:00 pm

I've just caught up with this (which is a bad thing, since I'm at work). I was never too keen on Robin because she was such a baby, but it's great to see events from her (now adult) perspective and I'm definitely warming to her. Cheers!

 

#52:  Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:03 am

patmac wrote:
Sympathies on the year end accounts, Joey. I just have one session with the accountant on Thursday and then he can take them away and play with them on his own!


I'm so jealous, Pat! It'll be ages before I get to that stage. The owner of this company has issues with trust, and won't let any of my staff do certain accounts stuff. The result is that it doesn't get done, because I have no time. I knew it was going to come down to me in the end, but I had such a bad winter I couldn't do any of it then. I am working on getting him to agree to additional annual leave in return for all my extra work.

Sorry about the COT - back to Robin. I didn't think about her much until I was re-reading and Jo and thought, "Hang on, this kid's ten. They are treating her as if she were three. Something's not right here." All the rest is history.

You will have to wait for the next bit, as I said yesterday, because Ermintrudis (don't blame me, she says that's her name) says I have to re-read Jo of first.

Part IVb

“Robin,” said Miss Bettany’s gentle voice. Already I felt that here was someone I could learn to love. She was so pretty and kind. I looked up at her. “Robin, I have to go back to school on this train,” she said in French.

“I will come with you,” I said, clinging to her hand.

“No, petite. You must stay with Miss Maynard – this is Miss Maynard.”

“Hello, Robin,” said the stranger lady seriously, bending down and shaking my hand solemnly.

“I have a lot of parcels to look after, and I can’t look after my youngest pupil as well,” she said. “Besides, it’s time you had something to eat. Miss Maynard will take you to a restaurant, and then she will collect your trunk and bring you on the next train.”

Papa had told me to obey Miss Bettany, so I could only say, “Oui, mademoiselle,” but seeing her get into the train and go away was almost as bad as seeing Papa go. Miss Bettany knew Papa, but the stranger lady had never even met him. She had a kind face, but Papa had left me with Miss Bettany, not her. Two tiny tears slipped out before I could stop them. I was horrified. “I didn’t mean to disobey, Papa,” I whispered in Polish.

“What did you say, Robin?” asked Miss Maynard curiously. Her French, though fluent enough, had a slightly odd accent.”

“It was Polish,” I said shyly.

“Well, let’s go and find something to eat,” she said. “You must be very hungry, Robin.”

I felt full from all the tears I had swallowed, but I nodded. Maman had told me it was important to eat all my meals, and Papa and I had not had time for much déjeuner.

To my surprise, Miss Maynard seemed to understand, and she did not try to make me eat much. I was able to eat all the soup, with bread crumbled into it, and the thin slice of roast veal, and I even managed the cup of custard. Best of all, Miss Maynard asked the Kellnerin – that is what she called her, though the word was strange to me – for warm milk, and I was so thirsty that I drank three whole cups full.

After that, Miss Maynard took me to the cloakroom, and then we went and collected my trunk. We didn’t have long to wait for our train, and I was relieved, because I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. Miss Maynard lifted me into the carriage and then followed. I watched the porter take my trunk away, and I wondered whether I would ever see it again.

Miss Maynard tucked me into the corner of the compartment with a rug around my feet, and she sat next to me and put her arm round me. I snuggled up to her – I wished she was my Papa or Miss Bettany, or better still Maman, but none of them was here and Miss Maynard was, and she had been kind.

“Are you tired, Robin?” she asked.

“Oui, mademoiselle,” I whispered.

“Would you like to sit on my lap?” she asked. “You might find it easier to go to sleep like that.” I nodded shyly. Miss Maynard lifted me up, keeping the rug wrapped round me, and moved into the corner herself. She held me close – it was so wonderful to be held, after months of holding Maman up in bed to make it easier for her to cough! But I had something important to ask.

“S’il vous plait, mademoiselle,” I began uncertainly.

“What’s the matter, Robin?” she asked gently.

“Would it be naughty for me to weep a little?” I asked. “I am so sad, but Papa told me not to cry.”

“Why are you sad, Robin?”

“Because Maman died two months ago, and I miss her so much! And now Papa has gone to Russia, and he says it is not safe for me, and I do not understand how it can be safe for him, if not for me. He told me not to cry because it will not change anything, and I do want to be good! But Maman said it was sometimes all right to cry, so long as you do not disturb anyone else. Would it disturb you very much if I were to weep? And would it be very naughty to disobey Papa?”

Miss Maynard hugged me extra tight.

“I don’t think Papa would think it was very naughty of you to have a quiet little weep in a nearly empty compartment,” she said. “And maybe it would help you sleep.”

“Merci, mademoiselle,” I said shakily.

I closed my sore eyes, and already I could feel hot tears slipping between my eyelashes.

Last edited by Joey on Tue Apr 12, 2005 10:08 am; edited 1 time in total

 

#53:  Author: Jodi, Location: Glasgow most of the time PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:38 am

I feel all wobbly after reading that. I just want to give Robin a huge hug. Thank you.

 

#54:  Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 11:43 am

Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

Poor Robin - I'm so glad Miss Maynard said it was ok for her to cry.

Thanks Joey - enjoy your re-read.

Liz

 

#55:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 11:48 am

Thanks Joey. I know I am guilty of viewing Robin as a very young child, thank you for changing that perpective. Very Happy

 

#56:  Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 4:39 pm

Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Poor Robin.
I'm glad Miss Maynard was so understanding.

Thanks Joey

Star Wars

 

#57:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 5:28 pm

Joey wrote:
“Would it be naughty for me to weep a little?” I asked. “I am so sad, but Papa told me not to cry.”


Such flawless logic. Poor girl Crying or Very sad

Why couldn't Madge have sent Mollie ahead with the parcels and taken charge of the Robin herself?

 

#58:  Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:55 pm

Poor little Robin, glad Maynie was so understanding. Six years old is not a baby - why did they treat her as one from the start?

Thanks Joey.

 

#59:  Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 7:41 pm

Such self-control, to ask if she was allowed to cry. It is heartbreaking.

 

#60:  Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:51 pm

the poor poor child

i can understand them babying her a little at the start - but why was it allowed to continue?

 

#61:  Author: Sophoife, Location: down under Down Under PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:39 pm

*sob* *sob*

la pauvre petite!!!

I think she was hard done by EBD with all that babying - this is a much more grown-up-inside Robin than EBD ever gave us!

 

#62:  Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 11:08 pm

Poor little girl, I think I can see how the babying would start at any rate!

 

#63:  Author: Tiffany,  PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 11:51 am

Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

Poor Robin!

Joey, this is fantastic, you write really well. Thankyou thankyou thankyou!

 

#64:  Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 2:45 pm

Joey, I have just found this lovely story and read all of it in one go. It is absolutely beautiful and so moving. Crying or Very sad

How little we understand what is going through a young child's mind. You get under her skin so well.

Thank you.

 

#65:  Author: Josie, Location: London PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:02 am

Have just read this from the beginning, Joey, it's wonderful.

Thanks

 

#66:  Author: Susan, Location: Carlisle PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2005 1:53 pm

Another one who has just read this from start to finish - I have trouble finding time for C&D lately to my shame.

Thanks Joey I have loved evry word of it. I have never really appreciated this from Robin's point of view so it is lovely to see that.

 

The CBB -> St Agnes's House


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