The CBB :: View topic - Mercy To Forgive

#1: Mercy To Forgive Author: Ray, Location: Bristol, England

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 9:13 am

This is a precursor to Francie to the Fore (which can be found here), set towards the end of Ruey Richardson: Chaletian. The plot bunny bit me while I was in the bath and refused to let go until this was written.

With many thanks to Liz for protecting me from my inability with homonyms and poor typing Smile

Mercy To Forgive

The bell rang for the end of morning school. Kathie Ferrars had been inducting Upper IV in the mysteries of quadratic equations for the final period before lunch and it had been a particularly trying lesson. While one or two in the form had grasped the concept straight away, most of the class were decidedly unmathematical and that had led to it feeling very much like the lesson was never going to come to a close.

"Miss Ferrars?"

The voice was soft, almost apologetic, and for a second, Kathie didn't recognise it. Then she turned to the door, and speaker, and she felt her heart sink as she saw Francie Wilford standing in the doorway of Upper IV's form room. She would never describe Francie as her favourite pupil, and many were the battles they'd had in the classroom. Those had been limited this year, thanks to most of Lower Vb's geography being taken by Miss Moore while Miss Wilmot dealt with their maths, but for all that, Francie was still a member of her form, so Kathie couldn't yet completely avoid her.

"May I speak to you?" Francie asked, still in that oddly apologetic tone of voice.

Kathie sighed inwardly and forced herself to smile, even though a conversation with Francie Wilford immediately before lunch was the last thing she felt inclined towards. "Of course."

To her surprise, Francie looked down and started lacing and unlacing her fingers in a nervous gesture Kathie had seen all too many times when calling her to order over some piece of impudence. Vaguely, Kathie realised it must be some sort of nervous habit. It was as irritating now as it was when she was trying to get to the bottom of Francie's mis-deeds. But just when she thought she was going to have to say something in the hopes of provoking whatever it was Francie wanted to speak to her about, the girl said softly,

"I don't, quite, know how to say this, or what to say. I just know that I must say it."

Kathie blinked at this circuitous opening. She had no idea where this was likely to lead. In fact, about the only thing she was sure about was this was highly unlikely to be a fresh piece of insolence: Francie seemed far too nervous for that.

"I've been an absolute horror, off and on, in the last two years," Francie was continuing, "and I know that I cannot make up for that." Francie gave a gulp. "But I would like to apologise."

For a full minute, Kathie stared at Francie. Apologise? Where on earth had this come from? From Francie's whole attitude, Kathie realised the girl meant it. She was also more than well aware that Francie had gone through some sort of change during the course of the term; she wasn't entirely sure quite how it had come about, but it did seem to begin, at least, with Ruey Richardson. As the school in general wasn't in the habit of prying into individual friendships – or spats – unless it was clear that one, or both, of the girls involved was suffering as a result, Kathie knew no more about the matter than that, though she could guess. At least, she had thought she could guess. Now she wasn't quite so sure.

Francie gave another gulp. "I'm sorry; I've wasted your time. I---"

And Kathie realised that she had stood there and said not one word. "Francie, wait."

Francie froze in an attitude that almost suggested she was cringing in preparation against a blow.

"You took me by surprise."

"I'm sorry," Francie murmured.

Kathie struggled for a moment, trying to order her thoughts. Just what did one say when the bane of your existence apologised? There had been points, during her first terms at the school, when she could have cheerfully shaken Francie until her teeth rattled. Others had been naughty or made mischief, but those others also had spasms of being nice and turning in good work. Francie had never shown either inclination until this term, and even then, only the work had been good. Much of the attitude had been the same as ever until very, very recently.

And yet, Francie had come here, off her own bat. Kathie knew that without even having to ask, because if there was one thing she emphatically knew about the girl, it was that she hated being made to apologise and any time she uttered those words, they came out grudging and venomous. This was not one of those forced utterances.

"Why?" Kathie found herself asking.

"I want to start fresh, next term," Francie answered softly. "I've made a mull of everything since I've been at this school. I wish I could take back the time I've wasted and the stupid things I've done. I can't. I can only do my best from here on."

Kathie realised she was nodding, not that Francie could see the gesture as her gaze was still firmly rooted to a spot on the floor. Things were beginning to make sense. Something, and once more Kathie guessed Ruey was at the bottom of it, had shown Francie how wrong her behaviour was and somehow, as the term had progressed, she had begun to truly grow up.

"Why did you pick me?" Kathie asked.

There was a lengthy pause and then Francie answered, "Because I think I was probably at my worst for you." She gulped again. "I don't know why."

Kathie could hear the pure honesty in Francie's words and could see just what it had taken for her to voice that particular admission. "Francie, look at me." Kathie waited until Francie finally managed to look up from that fascinating spot on the floor, her eyes suspiciously red though there were no tears immediately visible. "Thank you. I accept." That started the tears rolling, though Kathie could see Francie trying her hardest not to cry. "We'll start fresh, from now. The past's done and forgotten."

"Thank you."

The bell rang to call them to Mittagessen and recalled Kathie to the fact that neither she nor Francie were the remotest bit ready for the meal. For a moment, she hesitated, then she nodded. Francie looked utterly all in and for the first time, Kathie saw the dark circles beneath the girl's eyes. How long had this apology been preying on her mind?

"Come on," she said, gently wrapping her arm around Francie's shoulders. "This way."

When Francie realised she was being slowly walked upstairs towards Matron's office, she started to demur, but Kathie quelled that with a look. "You're not in a state to face everyone," she said. "And you'll be better for the rest."

Francie gave in and before too long, Kathie had left her in the tender care of Barbara Henschell, the matron currently on duty.

Moments later still and Kathie finally entered the Speisesaal, some ten minutes after the bell had rung. She received raised eyebrows from the various members of staff, but to them she simply shook her head. This wasn't something she wanted to discuss; not yet, at least, and certainly not with all and sundry in earshot. It had been a private conversation and although people would need to know where Francie was and why she had arrived so late to the meal, Kathie wanted it to remain as private as was possible.

As they left the Speisesaal after the meal, The Head drew Kathie to one side.

"I saw that Francie Wilford wasn't present," she began.

"I saw her into bed," Kathie answered. "She was tired and headachy – I thought that was best."

Miss Annersley nodded. "Is she all right?"

There were overtones of many other questions in that one statement, Kathie knew. This wasn't the first time she'd had a conversation with the Head Mistress about Francie, but this was the first time she'd been able to answer in the positive. "Yes," Kathie answered. "She's all right." Kathie paused and smiled. "She's growing up."

Last edited by Ray on Thu Dec 15, 2005 12:06 pm; edited 1 time in total

#2: Author: Rosy, Location: Gloucestershire-London-Aberystwyth

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 9:19 am

Wow. Thankyou Ray. That was a great piece - you really encaptured the emotions!

#3: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:00 am

Thank you Ray, that was fantastic and lovely to see the beginnings of Francie growing up.

#4: Author: Katie, Location: A Yorkshire lass in London

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:06 am

That was lovely Ray. Thank you.

#5: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:18 am

That was really good, thanks Ray.

#6: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:28 am

Thanks, Ray. I'm glad Francie apologised to Kathie and Kathie accepted the apology. It was done in just the right way as well.

#7: Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 11:05 am

A facinating piece showing so clearly the thought processes of both. And I loved the last little paragraph - a tender ending.

Two people who have come to some sort of peace with each other.

Thank you.

#8: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 1:23 pm

This is lovely Ray - so real Very Happy

Thanks

Liz

#9: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 4:52 pm

Excellent and sympathetic portrayals. Very Happy

Thank you, Ray!

#10: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 8:05 pm

That was lovely Ray - and exceptionally brave of Francie.

Thank you.

#11: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 9:20 pm

Thank you Ray, and well done Francie for having the courage Very Happy

#12: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:52 pm

Thank you Ray!
That was brilliant, and it must have taken so much courage for Francie to make that apology!

#13: Author: Josie, Location: London

Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 12:09 am

Well done, Francie.

Thanks Ray. Very Happy

#14: Author: Le Petite Em, Location: Cheltenham

Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:21 pm

Good for Francie- and Miss Ferrars looked after her so kindly! Thank-you Ray!! Very Happy

#15: Author: Nicci, Location: UK

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:41 pm

What a wonderfully sympathetic viewpoint of Francie. So unlike her yet just like her all at the same time. Thanks Ray.

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