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#1: Eustacia Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:14 pm

I was thirteen when my mother died. She had had a cold which went to her lungs, and she died within six days. I suppose that I missed her, but she had never been the loving mother that others girls have, being too busy with her own work. The immediate consequence was that I took over the running of our house, since Father was very wrapped up in writing his treatise on Aeschylus and his plays. I was an only child, and my parents had undertaken my education themselves, having very decided views on what constituted the correct way to bring up and educate a child. Therefore I had little or no contact with other children of my age, and that was to make life very hard for me in the future.
The maids were none too happy with my housekeeping, as I found out one day when I visited the kitchen. The cook’s voice, which was the sort that carries well, greeted me as I walked down the corridor.
“That Miss Eustacia doesn’t half fancy herself,” she said. “Proper stuck up little madam, that one. If it wasn’t that the money was good, I’d put my notice in, what with her thinking she knows better than me!”
I felt indignant that a servant should talk that way about her employer, but felt it beneath me to show in any way that I had heard what she said, so I proceeded with the orders for the day as if I had heard nothing.
A worse shock was waiting for me, however. My father complained of chest pains, went to see the family doctor, and was dead within the week. He found the time to write to my Aunt Margery before that happened, and she descended on us in short order. To my disgust, she immediately took over the running of the house from me, saying that such a task was not suitable for a girl my age! That fact that I had been doing just that since my mother died was clearly neither here nor there! However, fondly imagining that this was a temporary state of affairs, I allowed her to take the burden from me, and gave the time to my studies instead. My parents had seen to it that I was well read in the classics, and advanced in Greek and Latin. I was also able to spend more time reading, a pastime which I greatly enjoyed.
Imagine my horror then when my Father’s will was opened, and I discovered that Father had left Aunt Margery as my guardian! I had found it necessary to correct her ideas and methods once or twice, though she failed to act upon my suggestions. In fact she had been quite crushing when I had done so, leaving me with the clear impression that she would certainly not countenance such interference again. I found that quite an affront to my dignity, for surely I had more experience of running our house than she did. However, I reasoned that things would revert to normal once she had returned to Taverton, and I bit my tongue.
My expectations were dashed the after Father’s Will had been read. Aunt Margery asked me to come into the salon for a talk when we finished breakfast, to give the maid a chance to clear the table. When we were both seated, she brought up the subject of my future.
“As you know, I have been appointed as your guardian until you reach your majority,” she said. I nodded agreement, for she had clearly only just begun. “Therefore you will come and live with me and my family in Taverton until that time, and go to school there.”
I stared at her in astonishment. “I am quite able to continue here Aunt Margery. I have been running the house since my Mother’s death as you must be aware. I suppose I shall have to go to school, since that was my Father’s wishes, but until then I shall stay here.”
“Nonsense!” For some reason my Aunt sounded impatient.
“But it is not nonsense, my dear Aunt. It is quite sensible. I have no desire to leave Oxford, and I can manage the house and servants quite well.”
“You can do such thing. Do you imagine that your uncle and I would consent for one moment to such a thing? You will pack at once, for we are leaving for Taverton the day after tomorrow. Now, no argument, Eustacia. Do as you are told, and go and begin to pack your things.”
I argued of course, but my Aunt prevailed, and we set out for Taverton on the day she had ordained, much to my disgust. It was late when we arrived and my cousins had all gone to bed for which I was heartily grateful. I had no experience of boys and did not know even how to speak to them.

Last edited by Pat on Thu Aug 11, 2005 12:07 pm; edited 26 times in total

#2: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:35 pm

I always felt sorry for Eustacia - it must have been such a big upheaval for her

*toddles off to re-read and discovers a hardback that has not yet been read*

*bounces happily*

perfect timing, Pat!

#3: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:44 pm

Look forward to hearing how Eustacia saw events.

#4: Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:46 pm

Agreed - it'll be nice to see Stacie's take on things.

Thanks for this Pat

JackieJ

#5: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:29 am

Ooh, thanks Pat, this looks like it will be quite illuminating.

#6: Author: Sophoife, Location: down under Down Under

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 4:28 am

Thank you Pat!! Eustacia from Stacie's POV!

Joining Frances in heading off for a re-read...

#7: Author: Rosy, Location: Gloucestershire-London-Aberystwyth

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:12 am

Fab, I've just read Eustacia goes.
I always felt a little sorry for her. Look forward to reading her spin on life.

#8: Author: Xanthe, Location: London/Cambridge

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:23 am

*flops down onto post to await some more*

this is VAIR interesting, thank you Pat Very Happy

#9: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:47 pm

Yay for Pat. I've always wanted to see the other side of the story. so much happened to her in such a short time, she was given so little opportunity to grieve or to adjust.

#10: Author: Rachel,

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 2:04 pm

Thanks for posting this Pat - like many, since becoming slightly more growed up, I've pitied Eustacia having such major disruptions to her life and so little sympathy.

Looking forward to seeing the rest of thihs.

#11: Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!!

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:03 pm

Thanks Pat this looks really interesting. Ive always wanted to see what Eustacia thought of things.

#12: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:44 pm

Thanks Pat - it will be nice to see Eustacia's viewpoint on this - I don't think that she was treated well by the CS in general - and Joey particularly.

#13: Author: JustJen, Location: waiting for a bus

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:51 pm

I always liked Stacie. I can't wait to read about her from her pow.

#14: Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!!

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 4:22 pm

Thank you Pat!!!

Have just re-read Eustacia recently, so this is well timed!

#15: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 5:38 pm

That's great Pat. I always felt with Eustacia and some others (Nina Rutherford springs to mind) that they had too much to cope with. They had a skewed upbringing by everyday standards and then were rushed pell mell into an *normal* life after losing the person who understood them.

Great.

*Fluffs up the cushions on the sofa and sits down to wait for more*

#16: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 6:12 pm

Thanks Pat. It's going to be good seeing things from Stacie's point of view. I also always felt sorry for her when reading the book, she goes through some huge transitions without much sympathy from anyone else.

Star Wars

#17: Author: aitchemelle, Location: West Sussex

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:26 pm

Thank you Pat!
Interested to read this from Stacie's point of view!

Hannah

*Must track down the transcript of this*

#18: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:15 pm

The next day my worst fears were realised. The boys were like an alien species and I had no idea how to communicate with them. They had their own peculiar code of honour, which they expected me to know about, understand and honour. I felt lost in a sea of new experiences, with no idea of where to turn. The way of life was like nothing I had ever experienced. The boys did something to my bed so that I could not get into it properly. It was very silly, for if I had pushed with my feet I could have torn the sheets, and then what would my Aunt have said? I felt that I had to show her what had happened, but then found out that it was supposed to be a joke! How was I supposed to know that?
Ned was the eldest of them and thought he was a brilliant student. Well, I wasn’t convinced of his cleverness, but when I pointed out his failings he became violent and pulled my hair. Of course I reported the assault to my Uncle. He looked at me in a funny way, which I did not understand in the least, but punished Ned for bullying. The lecture that he gave me on ‘sneaking’ went over my head, for I had not the least idea of what he was talking about, and I quickly stopped listening. It might have been better if I had taken it in, but that was in the future. For the time being I was thoroughly miserable and confused, and therefore withdrew into myself.
I had no idea what was going on behind my back, though I knew that my Aunt and Uncle would be looking for a school for me. I assumed that it would be the local High School in Taverton, but it seemed that that was a misunderstanding. My Aunt came to my room to tell me what they had decided.
“We have decided that it would be best for you to go to a boarding school, Eustacia,” she said. “There is a very good school run by a lady who used to live in Taverton. It had been recommended to me by Mrs Cochrane, whose step-daughter goes there, and you will join her there after Christmas. The school is in Austria, so you will only be able to return home for the main holidays.”
I was stunned. “Boarding school? You are sending me to boarding school? But why? I wish to attend the High School here. I must have some home-life. It is that which helps to form character.”
“I cannot keep you here Eustacia. You have upset the whole house in the short time we have had you. You have never once tried to think of anyone but yourself. You have told tales, been rude to the maids, behaved in a most unfitting way to both your uncle and myself, and are making the boys unhappy."
A more cruel and heartless speech I had never before heard. I had been left to the care of my aunt, and she was abandoning me to total strangers. She was also criticising my upbringing and the training of my parents.
“If your sons tease and torment me it is only right you should know of it. As for the servants, they are only servants, and here to do as they are told. And you think of your boys unhappiness, Aunt Margery, but never think about mine. I am an orphan. I have only you to whom to look for affection - and you show yours by driving me away from the house and sending me to a school in a place with an outlandish name, where I shall be with complete strangers.”
“That is true. But, Eustacia, will you ask yourself in what ways you have tried to show yourself lovable since you came here? You have never once thought of anyone but yourself. You have repelled any show of affection, and you have made the whole house miserable. We are sending you to school that you may learn the art of living with other people. It is an art I assure you, and so far I have seen to signs of you possessing it. When we meet in the summer I hope you will understand all this, and show yourself so pleasant, so jolly, so fair that we shall be glad to have you back and sorry to lose you once more. But that will depend on yourself entirely.”
I stood and looked at my Aunt, finding nothing to say in reply to this little speech. My parents had had very different ideas about child raising, that was clear. I had trusted that they were right, and still felt that to be so. If they were right, then so was I, and the fault lay with my Aunt and cousins. A small worm of honesty told me that in some ways my Aunt had been right. I had not been lovable, but I ruthlessly quashed this - for that would have been admitting that my parents had been wrong, and my loss was too recent for me to do that. My hurt caused me to stand on my dignity,
“I am not demonstrative by nature, Aunt Margery, but I cannot help thinking your behaviour to your orphan niece most unkind and unnatural.”
When she left me, the wave of grief which had been threatening me through most of the conversation rose uo and engulfed me. I lay on my bed and sobbed, burying the sound in my pillow, for I had too much pride to let anyone hear me. By the time I was called downstairs for the midday meal the storm was over. I had washed the traces of tears from my face and presented my normal self to the rest of the family.

Last edited by Pat on Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

#19: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:25 pm

Thanks, Pat. I think that Eustacia was unfairly treated in some ways, expected to understand a different way of life and to fit into a mould that she did not understand.

#20: Author: Rosy, Location: Gloucestershire-London-Aberystwyth

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:34 pm

Poor kid. You have to feel a little sorry for her, even when she is being so ghastly!

#21: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:08 pm

Poor Eustacia, this is just making me feel even more sorry for her.

Thanks Pat.

#22: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:30 pm

This is great Pat. Thanks a lot, it really makes you view Eustacia in a different light.

#23: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:47 pm

Poor Eustacia - I do feel really really sorry for her now. Growing up with two adults she could hardly be expected to understand how to live as a family - she and her parents seem to have existed as a group of individuals living parallell lives and not a family.

#24: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:16 pm

Thanks Pat. It's good to hear the story from Stacie's view.

Liz

#25: Author: Alice, Location: London, England

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:26 am

This looks very interesting Pat, thank you.

#26: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 1:26 am

Thanks Pat, it's good to read it from the other side.

#27: Author: Nell, Location: London, England

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:49 am

Thank you Pat!

#28: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:55 pm

I feel even more sorry for Eustacia now. Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#29: Author: Caeli, Location: West Midlands

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 5:13 pm

Thanks Pat, it's nice to see things from Eustacia's point of view. I think that they were rather unfair to her when you read it from Eustacia's point of biew, but then when I read the actual book I take the family's side. It all depends on who's point of view everything is from I suppose.

#30: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 8:53 pm

Christmas was celebrated as usual, with very little mentioned about the fact that I was still so newly orphaned. I had gone Christmas shopping with the family, and bought the expected presents, trying to ignore the strangeness of it all, and missing my parents more than I would have believed possible before they died. As I had truly told my Aunt, we had not been a demonstrative family, but that did not mean that we had not loved one another. The grief still came in waves which I was powerless to resist. The boys started calling me ‘cry-baby’ when their parents were not within hearing, which only served to make matters worse. My Aunt and Uncle had spoken gently to me about the Christmas celebrations.
“I know that you are still mourning your parents Eustacia,” said my Aunt. “But the boys have suffered no such loss, for they hardly knew them. For their sake we will have our normal Christmas, but your Uncle and I will understand if you do not feel you can join with us wholeheartedly.”
I felt hurt at this, for although they were correct in what they said, my Aunt had lost her sister only a little more than six months previously, and surely was till missing her. This was the only time my loss was mentioned during the whole of the festivities. I tried my best to join in with them, knowing that I had to adjust to a new way of life, but it was very hard. Nothing was the same, from the boisterousness of the boys, which I was rapidly coming to hate, to the cheerfulness of their parents. Our Christmas at home had been happy, but quiet. We had naturally attended the church services to give thanks to God, and decorated the house with greenery brought in from the garden. Here there was a great deal of laughter and jokes which I did not understand. We gathered together to make paper-chains with coloured strips, and these were hung across the room. My uncle bought a tree from the local market and set it up in the corner of the salon, and we all helped to decorate it. The jolly laughter got too much for me on more than one occasion and I had to run to my room before I disgraced myself with the tears that I refused to shed in front of the boys. On one occasion, as I came back downstairs, I heard voices coming from the salon.
“She’s such a wet-blanket, Mums,” said Ned. “It’s putting a damper on the whole of Christmas.”
“You must remember that she is missing her father and make allowances Ned,” said my Aunt.
“I know, but she looks so stuck up all the time, as if she’s looking down her nose at us.”
“I’m sure she isn’t, dear. It’s just that she’s not used to a large family like ours.”
I made my footsteps louder so that they could hear me coming, and the conversation stopped abruptly as I entered the room.
After that I tried a little harder to be like them, but it was almost impossible. Certainly the boys, and probably my Aunt and Uncle too, did not expect to see any change, and therefore failed to find any, and I was thankful when Christmas was over, and we went up to Town to buy my uniform for the new school, which I was already dreading.

#31: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 8:56 pm

Yes, I thought that they were being unfair to her then. Why shouldn't she miss her parents at her first Christmas without them?

#32: Author: Rachel,

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:34 pm

Poor Stacie! This drabble really makes me think about how life must have been for her during the time between her father's death and joining the CS. The treatment her relatives give her isn't exactly comforting to a young girl newly bereaved!

Why do I have a sudden urge to hug Stacie even during her priggish phase?

#33: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:38 pm

Rachel wrote:

Why do I have a sudden urge to hug Stacie even during her priggish phase?

Because you are a sweet fluffy marshmellow fairy of course.

It does seem as if they took Eustacia into their family, and while saying, yes the poor kid has been orphaned, expected her to fit in totaly with them and made no allowances not only for her completely different upbringing but also none for her grief.

#34: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:41 pm

That was the impression I got. Also EBD never does allow grieving, except when Jo thinks she's lost Jack.

#35: Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:52 pm

This is really good - thanks, Pat. Eustacia's not one I've read recently (will go and remedy that...), but I know when I read it as a child, I just accepted EBD's treatment of her. I think her own point of view is long overdue!

#36: Author: Dawn, Location: Leeds, West Yorks

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:01 pm

Even as a child I felt that Eustacia had a rough deal from EBD - after all if I'd been at the CS I'd have been looking for places to hide and read instead of being all nastily energetic. This is just confirming it - thanyou Pat

#37: Author: BethC, Location: Worcester, UK

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:21 pm

Now that you mention it, Dawn, Eustacia not being allowed to read quietly was the one bit that did jar, but I suppose I must have put that down to the often-strange-but-invariably-right CS rules! Very Happy

#38: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 11:55 pm

Thanks Pat

Poor Eustacia - and she's still got a tough time ahead of her

Liz

#39: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:54 am

Poor Eustacia. You would think that her aunt and family would be more understanding of her feelings, especially as she was orphaned so quickly. I don't think it was fair to expect Stacie to have a happy Christmas for the sake of the boys when she was grieving. It also seems that her aunt wasn't very close to her mother as her aunt doesn't seem to be grieving at all.

Star Wars

#40: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:54 am

(((Eustacia)))

Really looking forward to her take on the School when she gets there!
This is fab, thanks Pat

#41: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 12:55 pm

I think that one of the problems was that her aunt had no idea how to cope with girls, having only boys in her family. Neither did the school make any allowances for Eustacia's bereavement. Admittedly, she made a lot of howlers, but they made no allowances for the ideas that she had taken in from her parents.

#42: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:48 pm

The third week in January my Aunt and I went up to London to meet the rest of the girls who were to start at the Chalet School that term. There would be thirteen including myself, and I was dreading meeting them. I had had nothing to do with other girls of my own age, and feared that if they were in any way like my cousins my life would be made as miserable at school as it had been in my new home. We were to be escorted by a new mistress for the school, and she was waiting for us at Victoria Station where we were to catch the boat train for Dover and the ferry. Aunt Margery approached her with a smile - of relief I believed.
“Good morning. You must be Miss Leslie I think. I am Mrs Trevanion, and this is Eustacia Benson.”
The mistress was young, and looked friendly. I hoped that this would be true of all of them, for now the time had come I was feeling very nervous. Although I had been so unhappy in Taverton, and had longed to leave it, now that the time had come I missed the warmth and the family atmosphere.
Once more I was thrust into an alien environment, though this time there were twelve other girls who might be expected to be feeling the same.
“Hello Eustacia,” said Miss Leslie. “Welcome to the Chalet School, though to be honest I am as new as you are. I shall be teaching you maths.” She smiled at me and I managed to smile back. The others girls were chattering away like magpies, and although I went to join them when bidden I felt awkward about joining in their talk, for it was all about their families and their last school, and I could contribute nothing. So I stayed quietly listening until it was time to board the train.
I knew the journey would be a long one, since we had to cross Europe, but I had not known how tiring it would be. We curled up under our blankets for the night but with a full compartment it was impossible to do more than snatch a few minutes sleep at a time. Normally I would have been fascinated by all the new experiences, for I had never travelled abroad before, but by the time we reached Spartz, the little town at the foot of the mountain railway that led to the Tiernsee I was too tired to be bothered with anything but a longing for my bed. The funny little train which normally carried visitors up to the lake was not running, and we were obliged to walk up to the lake. The others were equally as tired, but whether it was because they had all wanted to come to this school, or because they had not had so many changes in their lives, they were still able to chatter to each other, and enjoy the truly wonderful views that opened up before us. I had found to my consternation that I had very little indeed in common with any of the twelve. They all had brothers or sisters, and had been used to the sharing that I had discovered was necessary in a large family. I had been torn from such a family, where I had been struggling to find my way, and it was all becoming too much for me to cope with.
We finally reached the shore of the Tiernsee, and walked around it to a large chalet which would my home during term time from now on. As we walked up the path the front door was flung open and a crowd of girls stood there, shouting a welcome.

#43: Author: Katarzyna, Location: North West England

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:00 pm

Poor Stacie, you really get a sense of how isolated she was within the crowd of girls, and how difficult it all must have been for her

Pat, as soon as your ready?!!

#44: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:24 pm

Thanks Pat.

Poor Eustacia - the CS really failed her at first didn't it!

Liz

#45: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:15 pm

Thanks Pat, this is so fascinating, seeing such a different point of view. Agree with the others - the CS did fail her.

#46: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:23 pm

Poor Eustacia - in defence of the CS they really didn't know how to cope with her at all, and she didn't make it any easier for them drawing into her shell, although i can completely understand why she did it

#47: Author: Sophoife, Location: down under Down Under

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:29 pm

Thank you Pat!

Poor Eustacia indeed! Funny, really, when reading the books particularly for the first time, whatever one's own circumstances, one believes implicitly in the CS Way...

#48: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 9:26 pm

The walk had been far further than I had ever walked before, through a snowy landscape and I was very tired. As we entered we were greeted by a French lady who I gathered was the Headmistress. She sent the other girls away and ushered us into the chalet. Then she sent a maid for four of the older girls who would take us to our rooms. I was taken in hand by a girl called Joey Bettany, along with another girl called Greta Macdonald. Joey was a tall girl, obviously a senior, with black hair and eyes to match. She took us upstairs to the bedroom, called Violet and showed us where we would sleep. There were four beds in the room with bureaux for our clothes.
“We don’t wash in our rooms, but in the splasheries - bathrooms, you know,” she said.
I had never heard the term before and naturally assumed it to be slang. “You are permitted to use slang here?” I asked in surprise, for I had understood that this was frowned upon. Joey stared at me rather disdainfully.
“That isn’t slang,” she said abruptly. “You’d better take off your things or you may catch a cold in these warm rooms. The stove’s been lighted, because it’s so cold today.”
I am afraid that I let my tongue run away with me. “Most unhealthy,” I said, and then I really saw the beds for the first time. Remember I had never travelled abroad before. When I saw that we had feather mattresses I was shocked, for Mother had always maintained that they were unhealthy, and had refused to have them in the house. “Feather beds!” I exclaimed. “How insanitary! I must have a mattress! I never sleep on feathers!”
“You’ll be glad to have them here,” said Joey with a superior grin on her face. "Between them too. It gets jolly cold at night, I can tell you.”
Greta went to her cubicle and began to take off her things. Joey went across to her and told her where they all went. I stood rooted to the spot looking at my new domain with a feeling of despair. This was far worse than I had expected. It had crossed my mind that I might have to share a room with other girls and so had been expecting that. The curtained cubicles were a pleasant surprise, for they gave each girl a measure of privacy for which I was grateful. But the feather bed was something else again - I simply could not sleep on it. Joey Bettany came across ot me when Greta had almost finished getting ready.
“Buck up,” she said impatiently. “It’s not chilly up here, but it’s not exactly warm. I’ve got heaps to do as well, and can’t spend all my time dawdling about here. Besides, we’re not supposed to anyway.”
This impatient speech, which took no account of my objections, rubbed me up the wrong way.
“I cannot sleep here. I must see the head-mistress and ask her to be so kind as top give me a room to myself. Also, I must have a mattress on which to sleep; and I must have proper ventilation.”
I saw a variety of expressions flitting across Joey’s face, none of which I could read. However, all she said was that I could do that when I had changed. Also that I was to hurry because we were expected to keep to the rules here. I had been given no list of these rules, so of course had no idea what they were. This was the first time I had come up against these rules and it would not be the last. Never once was I given a copy of them, nor were they ever fully explained to me. I sighed and began to take my things off. It was clear that nothing could be done until we were once more downstairs, and that would not happen until I had changed. Joey showed Greta the view out of the window while they waited for me and I listened even though I could see nothing from my position. Just as I was ready I heard running footsteps outside, and another girl came racing into the room, saying something about taking a long time, that something or other - a German phrase - was almost ready and that it was Jo’s night, whatever that meant. The two older girls linked arms and set off downstairs, followed by Greta and myself. We were taken to a big room, with pale green walls. Basket chairs were scattered about the room in groups, and at one end there was a table with cups and saucers and a huge urn upon it. An older girl was busy pouring cups of what I found to be coffee, while younger girls were handing round baskets of rolls and bread twists. The girl at the urn handed over to Joey Bettany, so I assumed that that was what had been meant by ‘her turn’. It was a noisy bustling room and I felt very nervous, knowing no one there. I suppose that I looked a bit disdainful - I knew I could when I was uncertain. On Joey’s instructions Simone took us over to some girls of about my own age, gave them a brief introductions and left us. Great found herself one of the chairs, as they instructed her and settled down. That was not for me. We were new girls and therefore should be cared for, and that is what I said.
“Where are your manners? Are we not in the position of your guests?”

#49: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:04 pm

Feel so sorry for Eustacia - from her point of view her behaviour is entirely logical.

Thanks Pat - this must be very interesting to write.

#50: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:10 pm

Thanks Pat

How different it is when you see her as uncertain and nervous rather than stuck up and priggish!

Liz

#51: Author: Katie, Location: A Yorkshire lass in London

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:35 pm

Even when I was younger I thought Eustacia was pretty hard done by and it's even more obvious now I'm older. It's really interesting to see it all from her point of view, thanks Pat.

#52: Author: RroseSelavy, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:46 pm

Poor Eustacia. The situation at her aunt & uncle's house only made her retreat into herself even more, and then she got off on entirely the wrong foot at school. The sad thing is that when her parents died no-one ever directly spoke to her about them and about her circumstances (and she would have been used to being spoken to as an equal by adults), which may have made everything a little easier. She was just shunted along and expected to fit into her new surroundings, which she was unable to do.

I seem to remember someone on the CBB suggesting that she appeared to have some form of Asperger's syndrome. I think that something like that makes even more sense from her own explanations in this drabble. Maybe not full-on Asperger's, but she definitely shows some tendencies that way (e.g. the need to "know the rules," not only of the school, but also of social situations).

That might sound a little incoherent but it's late and I'm full of cider Very Happy

This is a really interesting drabble, Pat - I can really sense her utter bewilderment and I'm looking forward to reading more of Eustacia's take on school.

#53: Author: Sophoife, Location: down under Down Under

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:06 am

Pat wrote:

because we were expected to keep to the rules here. I had been given no list of these rules, so of course had no idea what they were. This was the first time I had come up against these rules and it would not be the last. Never once was I given a copy of them, nor were they ever fully explained to me.

Perfectly normal problem if you ask me. School rules should always be provided to students - ignorance of them then becomes no excuse. Eustacia's ignorance of the rules until she breached them was inexcusable on the part of the school. IMHO that is Smile

#54: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 8:45 am

I have to agree that it was very unfair to expect Eustacia to abide by the rules when she had no idea what they were. Still feel sorry for Eustacia. It's interesting to see the story from her point of view.

Star Wars

#55: Author: Joyful, Location: Manchester

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:42 am

No-one ever seems to be given the rules though do they? Maybe staff just expect them to absorb them! Does seem very unfair when you think of it!!

Enjoying this lots Smile

#56: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 1:29 pm

poor Eustacia - this is a very thought provoking drabble, Pat. Thank you.

#57: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 2:57 pm

Poor Eustacia, not one of my favourite characters before, I am feeling much more warmly to her (and sorry for her!) reading this

Thanks Pat Very Happy

#58: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:22 pm

A gasp went up from the girls who heard this and my heart sank a little. I had done it again I saw. Spoken without understanding the unspoken rules of behaviour in a group of which I knew nothing. A chorus of unkind remarks rose from all sides, one calling me ‘your Majesty’. One voice rose above the rest, belonging to a girl called Margia, one of the girls Simone had named.

”Look here Eustacia - if that’s your handle - take a bit of advice from me. Don’t start of by bucking, even if you are someone to write home about at home. We are quite accustomed to that kind here. We’ve even had a princess, and lots of these folk have soppy titles…… And we don’t think anything of even a duke now. So get yourself a chair, an’ take that coffee Kitty Burnett’s holding for you, ad sit down, and don’t be a silly ass.”

I was shocked both by the slang and by the words themselves. I failed to understand what I realise now, that Margia meant the words more kindly than they sounded. I had no experience of a girl’s society, how they spoke to one another, and I resented them.

“I shall appeal to the head-mistress,” I said furiously. “I will not be treated with rudeness by a parcel of school-girls who mistake vulgarity for wit.”

Even through my anger I felt the atmosphere change, but the situation was saved by the intervention of one of the seniors who wandered over to talk, and by the time she left I found myself seated in one of the chairs, with a cup of coffee and a bread twist, and things had calmed down a little. As my temper cooled I realised that I had started here far more badly than I had at my Aunts house in Taverton. If that had been strange, this was far more so, and not even the weeks in a family had prepared me for the company of a large group of schoolgirls.

#59: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:31 pm

Poor girl - to realise too late what a bad impression she made.

Thanks Pat.

#60: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 7:56 am

Thanks Pat

Poor Eustacia - now she's made her first impression on them it's going to be even harder for her.

Liz

#61: Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 10:35 am

This is great, Pat. I always thought Eustacia was badly done by.

Thank you.

#62: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 9:15 pm

Troubles begin

It seemed by Monday that every girl was against me. The strange business of ‘sneaking’ had raised its head again, over Margia Stevens’ hymn book. I had seen her drawing in it during the Sunday evening service. This was defacing a bok that belonged to the school, and one that was also used for divine service, so I felt justified in reporting her to Mademoiselle, with the result that Margia had been sent to bed at the same time as the juniors. I knew they were all talking about me behind my back, which left a rather nasty feeling between my shoulder-blades. I felt left out more than ever, with no one to tell how I felt. I was therefore more determined than ever that they should no know how unhappy I was, and I suppose that the result made me look more ‘stuck up’ than ever.
I was sure that they were gossiping about me when Mary Burnett caught Evadne using some of her truly dreadful slang and requested her to pay her fine, reminding her that she knew exactly what was and was not allowed in the school in the way of colloquialisms. Wanting to get a little of my own back I spoke loudly enough for them all to hear.
“I agree with you, Mary. The slang Evadne uses is unladylike in the extreme.”
Mary jumped on me immediately. “Pray, who asked you to interfere? Attend to your own affairs, and leave Evadne to attend to hers. And, while I think about it, permit me to inform you that people who tell tales are not liked here, Eustacia. Don’t do it again.”
Well! To my mind I had made a supporting comment, not told any tales, for Mary had caught Evadne herself! However, it seemed to give the middles license to call me names. Margia called me a “sneaking little cat!”, and Cornelia advised them all to leave me to myself. “I’d despise to have anything to do with such a mean!”
They stalked off leaving me feeling a mixture of desperate hurt and blinding anger, wanting to have my revenge for their treatment of me. Joey Bettany came across to speak to me but I was in no mood to listen, and she went off again. Our next lesson was geography, which was a new subject for me, so that I took this subject with the Fourth, much to my disgust. I had tried to change Mademoiselle’s mind on this without success, and felt very aggrieved that I must sit in class with children so much younger. That day we were putting contour lines onto a map of North America, which I confess I found as boring as Evadne and Ilonka did, for they started a game of noughts and crosses under the desk. Feeling at odds with them all, and that they should certainly not waste their time in class, however boring they found the subject, I raised my hand. It had already been impressed upon me that this was the correct way to gain the attention of a mistress. When Miss Wilson responded, asking if I needed any help, I replied, “I am perfectly able to cope with this childish map-drawing. It is only that I felt that you ought to know that the two girls in front of me are wasting their time in some babyish games instead of doing as they were bidden.”

#63: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 9:28 pm

Poor Kid, it must seem as if she is expected to follow rules that have never been clearly explained to her while watching others break the rules that she does know.

#64: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 8:17 am

Thanks Pat

Liz

#65: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 10:38 am

You can see how she makes things worse for herself without realising it.

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#66: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 1:11 pm

Poor girl! She was completely unprepared for all the changes. I suppose she had never had anything to do with other children at all.

I wonder about her home life. She apparently was left to run the house after her mother died and all he thought of when he knew he was dying was that he wouldn't finish his book Shocked

Her POV certainly puts a different slant on the tale.

thank you Pat. It's very thought provoking.

#67: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 3:13 pm

Can really feel sympathy for her when reading her take on everything.

Thanks Pat.

#68: Author: Catherine_B, Location: Oxford, UK

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 3:40 pm

So many unwritten rules of school life - poor Eustacia Shocked

#69: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 9:12 pm

I heard a hiss come from the direction of Cornelia’s desk, and both Evadne and Ilonka gave me a very speaking look. Miss Wilson stared at me for a moment, then told Cornelia off and bade the rest get on with their work. She also asked to see me at the end of morning school. The rest of the lesson continued as normal, though everyone seemed to work a little harder, ands their was utter silence. Miss Wilson was also more abrupt than normal, speaking sharply to us. History followed and the class was as well behaved and studious as they had been for Miss Wilson. At the end of morning school, as soon as Miss Stewart had left the room, they started.
“Trot along to Bill and tell her some tales.”
“Mind you tell her always about everything wicked we do.”
"Don’t forget to say that we’ve been ragging you just now.”
The hateful voices battered at my ears and made me want to scream. I was different from them, and they didn’t understand me. No more did I understand them.
“You hateful girls,” I cried.
“We may be hateful, but at least we bear no tales.”
Suzanne Mercier sniffed disdainfully. “She is not nice, this Eustacia. I find it better that we do not speak to her.”
“I agree,” said Margia. “Do you hear, all of you! No one is to have anything to do with Eustacia Benson until she has apologised to Evadne and Ilonka for trying to get them into trouble.”
“I don’t care! I’m sure it means nothing to me that you should be rude. I never met such ill-bred, unladylike girls, and I shall inform Miss Wilson of you abominable treatment of me.”
They drew back with sneers on their faces, and I realised that I had made matters worse.
A nasty little smile played about Margia’s lips. “Yes, I suppose we might have expected that. But somehow Eustacia, I don’t expect you’ll find Miss Wilson ready to listen to you. We don’t encourage sneaks in this school you know. Now you’d better trot off, or Bill will have something to say to you for being late.”
Goaded beyond bearing, I threw caution to the wind. “I shall tell her that too,” I shouted.
Evadne grinned nastily at me. “I guess you will. But it’s stale news to her; I let it out myself, ages ago.”
The others laughed at this, making me feel worse than ever. I slammed the lid of my locker and stalked out of the room. Once outside I stopped and leant against the wall ,shaking. The encounter had been nasty, and left me feeling sick. I should have remembered what Ned and the others had said about telling tales, but I had forgotten. To be honest, I’m not sure that I would have behaved differently if I had remembered. I had responded to the way I had been treated, which was abominably. And now it seemed that I would receive no support from the staff, if what the girls had said was correct. Still feeling quite ill, I made my way to the Staff Room.

#70: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 11:17 pm

Poor little girl, and what Bill says isn't going to help either.

#71: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 8:01 am

Poor Eustacia

Suddenly I find myself not really like Margia and Evvy and co...

Thanks Pat

Liz

#72: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 3:59 pm

Poor Eustacia - I'm not really surprised she decided to run away. It's very close to bullying what she's going through.

Thanks Pat

Star Wars

#73: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 6:53 pm

That definitely classes as bullying in my book. Poor Eustacia

#74: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 8:52 pm

Poor Eustacia, I feel so sorry for her Sad

#75: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 9:52 pm

Still feeling shaken by the episode with the girls, I knocked at the door of the staff room. Miss Wilson waited until the other mistresses had left the room before speaking, for which I was very grateful.
“Why did you tell tales this morning, Eustacia?”
“I considered that you ought to know that Evadne and Ilonka were wasting time,” I replied.
That may be so. But surely you must have realised that I could not possibly take any notice of tale-bearing? The girls would have little respect for me if I did.”
That aspect had not occurred to me until then, though U did not really think it relevant even then. “Does that matter? I should have thought that the discipline was the first thing to be considered.” It was a genuine question, for I did want to understand what this tale-telling business was all about, but Miss Wilson did not see this, though she did give me some explanation.
“ Don’t be impertinent. Of course it matters. If a mistress has to depend on sneaking for her discipline, then the sooner she realises her unfitness for teaching, and gives up the work, the better for all concerned.” I said nothing, hoping that she would continue her explanation.
"Cannot you understand, Eustacia? In a boy’s school you would have been thrashed well by one of the fellows, and everyone would say it served you right. I do not imagine that the girls here will proceed to such lengths, but I am afraid you are making things hard for yourself. We have never permitted tale-bearing, and the girls were all horrified at what you said.”
“I cannot help that. I must do my duty.” After all, it was already too late as far as my relations with the girls were concerned. They were all against me now, and I was sure that nothing that I could do or say would make a difference. I was not like them, nor was I likely ever to become one of them.
"By all means,” said the mistress. “But it is not your duty to interfere between the girls and me. You took too much on yourself, and were officious, to say the least of it. Apart from that, let me tell you that neither I nor any other mistress in this school will, for one moment, listen to tale-bearing, and you may make up your mind to that.”
I saw straight away that it would be useless to tell her what had happened after Miss Stewart had left the room. She would say it was tale-bearing, and dismiss the whole thing. I was on my own. “Indeed?” I said.
Miss Wilson rose to her feet, looking very stern. “I warned you before of impertinence. I shall not repeat the warning again. Now go: but be sure that the girls will not let you off so easily, and I doubt if prefects of staff will wish to help you. You are so much wrapped up in yourself that you seem determined not to recognise the fact that others have their rights. School-girls, you will find, are as strict as their brothers in matters of honour - and rightly so.”
“I am honourable! How dare you say I am not.” I was hurt by the implication that I had no honour, and horrified to have my foreboding confirmed. I would receive no help or support from the authorities here, that was clear enough.
“How dare you use such a tone in addressing a mistress? It is well for you that we know something of your story, and are able to make allowance for you. Now go. No; not another word, unless you wish to apologise for your rudeness.”
I left the room boiling over with rage, and scared to the pit of my stomach. So they knew my background did they, and were able to make allowances? Why could they not take it a step further, and help me understand the society which I found myself in. Why could they not help me, instead of just making allowances, as if I was some sort of alien creature? Defying all he rules, I went to my room, threw myself down on the bed and sobbed.

#76: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 9:58 pm

Poor lonely, unhappy, misunderstood child.

It doesn't sound like they're actually making any allowances for her really.

Thanks Pat

Liz

#77: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 10:27 pm

Agreed, can't say too many allowances seem to be made.

Thanks Pat, a fascinating POV.

#78: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 10:30 pm

It is actually quite scarey how the book changes when you start to look at it from Eustacia's perspective!

#79: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:55 am

I agree that there doesn't seem to be any allowances made at all for Eustacia. Looking at the story from this angle it seems the Chalet School is a very rigid place where you have to conform.

Pat wrote:

It is actually quite scarey how the book changes when you start to look at it from Eustacia's perspective!

I definitely agree with this. I don't think I'll be able to read it in the same light again.

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#80: Author: Emma A, Location: The Soke of Peterborough

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 1:07 pm

This fantastic, Pat - really liking the story from Eustacia's POV. She's always been one of my favourite characters.

Thank-you.

#81: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 8:28 pm

This is written with a great deal of sympathy for Eustacia, and is really making me look at the whole situation again.

#82: Author: JustJen, Location: waiting for a bus

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:22 pm

I'm really starting to feel sorry for Eustacia. She got tossed into a world she knows nothing about and no makes any kind of allowences for her upbring.
I can't wait to read more of this story

#83: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:52 pm

The prefects take a hand

The Fourth spread the tale all over the school of course, and by the end of the day I was aware of whisperings and mutterings, dark look thrown in my direction, and conversations that stopped as soon as I came near. It made me more determined than ever that they should not know how I felt, so I stuck my nose in the air and ignored them, though I was feeling dreadful inside. It was snowing hard outside, as it had been for a couple of days, and tempers were fraying with the enforced idleness. During the afternoon I had an unfortunate accident. I fell over some books, and caught the ink can with my hands. The ink splashed all over me, even over my face. I felt an idiot, as who wouldn’t in that situation, but no one laughed. I could see that they were dying to do so, but there was silence apart from an odd splutter or two. That was worse than if they had laughed at me, but I couldn’t show how I felt. I muttered something into the silence, stood up and walked out of the room with my head held high, holding back the tears by a huge effort of will. As the door closed behind me I heard the laughter explode into the room. The last thing I wanted to do was to rejoin them, and as I had heard Joey Bettany say that she had put the library key in her locker I decided that I would go and read quietly by myself. I slipped into the splashery and picked up my coat, for I wasn’t sure whether of not there would be any fire lit, picked up the key at opened the door. Wandering round the shelves, my worst fears were realised. The books were all for children and I had been accustomed to reading my father’s books. These were all far to immature for me. The senior library was little more inspiring, so I went to look at the staff shelves. To my relief I found that there were some interesting title there, and I picked one and settled down to read. I was so engrossed in the pages that I failed to hear the bell ringing for Kaffee und Kuchen, though it is doubtful whether I would have face the school even if I had. When the door burst open to reveal Joey Maynard and a number of other prefect, as well as Margia Stevens. I was annoyed at being interrupted, and really did not want to have to deal with anyone else just now. Beside, I was guiltily aware that I should not have gone to Joey’s desk for the key. In order to hide my feelings, I looked up at them.
“Oh, bother! Have you come?” I said crossly.
Joey came across to me, with her hands stuffed in her blazer pockets.
“I’ll have my key,” she said.
I flushed a little and took the key from my pocket. “I forgot you might need it.” I said, and dropped it into her hand.
“Thank you. And now, you can put that book back where you found it, and get out of this. I’ll see you in the prefects room at half-past seventeen.”
“Please don’t be so absurd. I have only just begun, and there is more than half an hour yet before half-past five.”
“Pit that book back where you got it. You have no business in here. It was locked for a purpose - but I’ll speak to you about that later. At present, all you have to do is to come out as you are told and go to Kaffee und Kuchen.”
“I do not desire food,” I said. “It is unnecessary to eat oftener than three times in the day, and I prefer to read.” I was finding that answering back helped to hide my feelings, and besides, I had just got into the book and didn’t want to put it down. The crowd of girls staring at me didn’t help my mood either. Mary Burnett, the Head Girl, took a hand in the affair then, as Joey looked fit to explode, to my secret satisfaction.
“You cannot read now, Eustacia. It is against the rules. Please come at once, and don’t be tiresome.”
Heaving a deep sigh, I got up and ticked the book under my arm, so that I could continue reading it.
“Put that book back in it’s proper place,” said Jo.
“Nonsense! I desire to borrow it. I will do it no harm, and it is unlikely that anyone else in the school would enjoy anything so erudite.” Now that I had started I found it easier to keep the attitude up than to back down. Besides, I wanted to go on reading. However, Jo snatched the book form me and glanced at the cover. Then she swung round to me, looking extremely angry.
“How dare you touch the staff shelves? You can’t say you didn’t know they were staff, ‘cos it’s written up above them, and the notice saying that no girl is to borrow from them unless with special permission from the staff.”
I sad nothing, for of course I had seen the notice. I had ignored it for I was accustomed to reading books of that sort for some years. Mary hushed Joey and made sure that everyone left the room; Jo carefully locked the door behind her and dropped the key in her pocket. I sat eating my cake and drinking coffee feeling very black, but I did not believe that I had done anything very bad. I supposed that I had broken another of their unknown rules, but how was I to know them all? I was also angry at being turned out of the library, and at the way Jo Bettany had spoken to me. I took my time reporting to the prefects room, for I felt very aggrieved at what had happened, and I was about five minutes later than the appointed time when I arrived at the door, nearly bumping into Carla as I did so. I marched up to the table where the prefects were sitting like so many judges at a tribunal. “Well?” I said.

Last edited by Pat on Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

#84: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 12:52 am

Thanks Pat

So understandable that she put up a hard front and attitude to hide her hurt and lostness.

Liz

#85: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 9:46 am

Liz is so right, (((Eustacia)))

Thanks Pat

#86: Author: keren as guest,

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:56 am

I do wonder what books the staff would read that seniors are forbidden to, that Eustacia would like?
Did EBd even know.
It is not as if she would want to be reading racy adventure stories.
She said it is erudite, so what real objection could there have been in the end.
In the worst case, the pupil reading it, would not understand it.

#87: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:28 am

keren as guest wrote:

I do wonder what books the staff would read that seniors are forbidden to, that Eustacia would like?

I also always wondered what kind of books the staff had, that the girls are forbidden to read. Like Liz I can understand why Eustacia is putting up a hard front as a defence mechanism.

Star Wars

#88: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 1:28 pm

Amanda M wrote:

keren as guest wrote:

I do wonder what books the staff would read that seniors are forbidden to, that Eustacia would like?

I also always wondered what kind of books the staff had, that the girls are forbidden to read.

Also now wondering why, if they were so unsuitable for the girls to read, they were in the library and not kept in the staff room

Liz

#89: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 3:12 pm

I suspect it was all a part of keeping the girls young as long as possible. I don't think the staff books would have been that much older, just that the topics were not those that were considered suitable for children.

#90: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 4:50 pm

Can so see this as the reason for Eustacia's attitude.

Thanks Pat.

#91: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 6:07 pm

Mary Burnett turned and looked at the clock. “You are late. Were any of the staff detaining you?” Her voice dripped ice, but I refused to let her intimidate me.
“No, but I was reading and overlooked the time.”
“Well another time when we tell you to be here at a certain time, will you kindly see that you are? I think you wished to speak to her Josephine?”
Joey nodded. “Where did you get the key of the library?” she asked.
This was the one point on which I felt unsure, for I was aware that perhaps I should not have gone to the desk for the key. I had been desperate at the time, and could see no reason for the library to be locked. We had been back at school for some days after all. So I took the bull by the horns and replied as confidently as I could.
“Out of your desk. I overheard you say that you had put it there, so when I felt that I must read, I went and took it. I had intended to replace it when I had finished of course.”
To my horror Jo Bettany did not seem to believe me. She accused me of stealing the key, and using the library even though I was aware that no one was to use it for some days. That cut me to the core. I was no thief, and so I told her!
“I did not steal the key! How dare you say that to me! I borrowed it! How dare you accuse me of anything so dishonourable!”
“Well, I’m afraid you haven’t shown yourself very honourable so far.”
I felt insulted. “Oh I see. Because I report girls who are breaking the rules-"
Mary Burnett was quick to take me up on that. “And what about yourself? You were breaking rules - and far more flagrantly than any of the girls you have sneaked about.”
They continued to try to explain to me where I had erred, but since they persisted in accusing me of stealing the key rather than borrowing it, and reiterating the fact that the library was still shut, though without saying why this should be, I didn’t really listen - I was too angry to take in what they were saying in any case. Then they went on to the subject of the book I had been reading.
“Why, may I ask, did you take a book from the staff shelves? As you were reminded at the time, there is a notice up, stating that no one is to use those books unless given special permission by the staff. You admitted you had seen it. Did you think it was put there for fun?”
“I did not see that it need apply to me. I have been accustomed to have access to any book in my father’s library, and I should not mark or harm them as an ordinary girl might do. I daresay many of these foreigners have no idea how to treat books - "
Deira cut me off with some remark about the Austrians not being foreigners, and I became quiet. Joey Bettany jumped into the silence.
“Eustacia Benson has seen fit to break rules right and left - although she’s so keen to report other girls she catches at that very thing! All that remains is to tell her what her punishment is going to be.”
I was astounded at this. They were school girls like myself, so how could they have the power to punish me?

#92: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 6:13 pm

So feasible, everything she does just makes things worse in the CS girls' eyes.

Thanks Pat.

#93: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:27 pm

Thanks Pat - why someone hasn't sat down and talked to her and explained the rules - written and unwritten - I do not know!

Liz

#94: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:16 am

Thanks Pat for this. Poor Eustacia seems to be digging herself deeper into the hole. I can understand the confusion she must have had that schoolgirls like her had the authority to punish her.

Star Wars

#95: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 12:10 pm

Oh and we know it's going to get worse before it gets better!

Thanks Pat

#96: Author: Sarah_K, Location: St Albans/Leicester

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 2:03 pm

It's going to get a lot worse isn't it, I wonder if Joey ever really realised how hard it must have been for poor Eustacia.

Thanks Pat

#97: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 8:58 pm

“Oh, we have - within certain limits. We are going to exercise those powers at once. Until half-term you will not be allowed to use the library.”
That nearly finished me, for the library had been the one thing that I had been looking forward to at this dreadful place. How could they ban me from it? I had been unable to bring more than a handful of my own books with me because of the weight restrictions, and I was rapidly running out of things to read. I was determined to appeal to the Head, whom I had thought was a kindly person who might listen to me. I was swiftly disabused of this notion!
“I shouldn’t advise you to do that,” said Joey. “You see, it won’t be of any use, for Mademoiselle will only back us up, as it’s a fair punishment. You chose to use the library in forbidden times, so we punish you by forbidding you to use it at the proper times. And if you do go to her, she will want to hear the whole story, and however you put it, I don’t think you can make it a pretty story. You go to a senior’s desk and take form it a key that is not yours.”I was furious, and said again that I meant to return the key.
“Well, even so, it doesn’t make it any better. And another thing, will you kindly remember that we are prefects, and you may not speak to us like that.”
By this time I was so furious that I sot control of my tongue completely. I hated these big girls, so sure that they were in the right, punishing me as if I was a baby! I hated the others too, as they would have nothing to do with me, just because I had followed my own sense of duty and honour. The niggling thought that I had not been in the right when I had borrowed the key and one of the staff books, I forced down.
“What are you but silly, empty-headed girls, with no true conception of the beauty of learning? What do you know of education and its marvellous benefits? You are worse than the children in the board-school! I –“
Suddenly I felt myself sized and shaken, then banged down into a chair. I was shaking with rage, and hurt and a whole mixture of emotions that I couldn’t name, then or now. But the shake had brought me to my senses, and although I was white as a sheet, and still so blazingly angry that I could hardly steady my voice, I managed it somehow. My voice came out low and almost menacing.
“You may think you can master me, but I will let you see that you cannot. I never wanted to come here – it was my cruel aunt who forced it on me, after she had gained control over me when my parents died. Well, I must stay here, for I have no money to take me away. Nut I’ll make you all regret the day you ill-used and abused me, and I’ll pay each one of you out for this.”T
Thinking back, I know it sounded melodramatic, but at the time I meant every word of it. They had taken away my one escape, losing myself in a book, and I was in no mood to forgive of forget. It seemed as if everyone’s had was against me, and I was alone with no one to turn to, no one to help or provide any support. It was like rubbing salt into a wound when Jo Bettany suddenly burst out laughing, and the other joined her. She called me an idiot, which did noting to help me control my temper. Then Mary Burnett reiterated the ban on using the library, as if I had not taken it in the first time it was said, and sent me away. I had never been so angry in my life; in fact I had rarely lost my temper at all, and when I did it took a good deal to cool it down again. A naturally hot-tempered person may lose their temper and regain it again quickly and relatively easily. My own type of temper takes longer to come to heel, and tends to brood over things for a long time. It was to rebound on me in the future, but even if I had known of the consequences I could have done nothing to control the way I felt at that moment.

#98: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:25 pm

Thanks, Pat! I've always had a certain sympathy for Eustacia, but this makes even the most negative aspects of her character explicable. In any event, forbidding a new girl the library for an entire half term seems downright draconian to me ....

#99: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:38 pm

Cruel and unusual punishment I believe - depriving her of reading - think I'd be able to plead temporary insanity at my trial afer I'd attempted to murder all the Prefects - and the Judge would let me off!

#100: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 12:43 am

Thanks Pat

The prefects really shouldn't have laughed at her like that.

Liz

#101: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 12:50 am

Poor little girl... It's horrid of them to have laughed.

#102: Author: JustJen, Location: waiting for a bus

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 4:57 am

Poor poor Kid. I' don't think I'll ever to able to that book again without thinking about this story

#103: Author: Cath V-P, Location: Newcastle NSW

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 5:56 am

I've always thought that this was the point where Joey's suppposed insight into other people just wasn't there at all.

#104: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 12:12 pm

The thing that always struck me about Eustacia was how young she was when she went to the CS. No-one seemed to make any allowances for that, either.

#105: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 11:55 am

Cath V-P wrote:

I've always thought that this was the point where Joey's suppposed insight into other people just wasn't there at all.

I agree with this. Joey supposed to have a special knack for getting under people's skins, but she certainly fails here. There doesn't seem to be any empathy at all for poor Eustacia. I think Joey took an instant dislike to Eustacia, which is apparent in this book.

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#106: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 9:35 pm

The fourth take action

For a whole week the Fourth kept their word and spoke no word to me at all. The Third followed suit after I had reported Kitty Burnett for talking slang, and to my surprise I found it very unpleasant. It was not just that they did not speak to me, but that they also behaved as though I did not exist, which was very hard to deal with, almost as if I was a ghost that they could not even see. I longed for my aunt’s home in Devon, where they had at least tried to be friendly, and the adults at least had made some sort of attempt to help me, though it had not seemed so at the time. I was too proud to mention anything that had happened in my letters home, so Aunt Margery knew nothing of my unhappiness. When the embargo was lifted on the following Sunday, the girls started speaking to me again, but I ignored them, pushing to the stove to get warm. I was never warm at night, for I hated the insanitary plumeau that was on my bed, and had discarded it at night, sleeping with only the blankets over me. That morning I had forgotten to pick it up from the floor, and Matron found it lying in a heap on the floor.
At breakfast I was seated near foreign girls, who naturally conversed in their own language, and left me out. I sat there hating the school more and more, for although the other new girls were beginning to find their place and make friends, there seemed to be no place for me. An old girl returned at that point, and everyone was busy greeting her, and then Mademoiselle announced that the morning was to be spent in a walk up the valley, with services in the evening, and the meal was over. I was the last to leave the room, and was immediately pounced upon by Matron, who told me that she was coming to the dormitory with me. When I saw the plumeau still lying on the floor I guessed what was to come.

#107: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 9:47 pm

This is actually showing the CS in a very bad light - couldn't any of the Staff have seen what was happening? And as for Joey - she was really unpleasant.

Thanks Pat, a very thought-provoking story.

#108: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 10:06 pm

I agree with Lesley that this story does portray the Chalet School in a bad light. With a large proportion of the school not talking to Eustacia, they must have realised the potential damage it could have caused. I know the staff tended to have a hands-off approach, not wanting to get involved in the schoolgirls' friendships, but I think they should have stepped in earlier here.

Poor Eustacia - it must have felt like purgatory for her.

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#109: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 10:20 pm

Thanks Pat

Poor Eustacia - wonder how Matey's going to make her feel

Liz

#110: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 10:32 pm

This is so shocking when you read it from this point of view...institutional bullying.

#111: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 12:23 pm

To be honest I didn't realise how bad it was till I started writing this!

#112: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 8:55 pm

I think I just read the first timeit thinking at 11 or so 'horrid girl!' about Eustacia. As already said, the no books punishment would have driven me mad, but it wasn't till I reread the books recently that i began to realise how badly EDB treated her.

#113: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 9:20 pm

i never understood the library treatment - that would have killed me!

((Eustacia)) even if she's not a very huggable girl

#114: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 10:59 pm

When Matron asked why the thing was on the floor, I tried to brazen it out, but no one has ever got the better of Matey, and I had no chance to succeed. She demanded to know why I had flung the thing onto the floor, and in the end I just blurted it out, but as far as I was concerned it was the truth.
“Because I consider such things to be most insanitary.”Matron stared at me in amazement. “You seem to me to be bereft of your senses. Who, may I ask, gave you the right to say what is or is not insanitary? When did you put it there?”
“Last night, when I went to bed.” It took all my courage to confess to this, for Matron was in a formidable mood.
“I’ll take good care that this doesn’t happen again. Pick up that plumeau and make your bed at once. I’ll see you this evening.”
I was shaking by the time she swept from the room, and I struggled with the bed, and my reaction. I had never had to make a bed before I came to the school, and found it something of a difficult chore. Then I left the room to find a corner where I could bury myself in a book. However, much to my frustration, Miss Wilson found me and sent me to get ready for a walk. My temper was rising again, for I would have much preferred to sit and read. The weather had prevented any walks thus far, and I was most surprised to find that the other girls were rejoicing in the prospect of a long walk. I took as long as I dared, hoping that the mistresses would give up and go without me. The others tried to rush me, making me crosser than ever - finding my hat and gloves for me. Finally I snapped.
“Kindly let my things alone!”
I might have spared my breath, for they took absolutely no notice of me. In the end I snatched my coat from Elsie and put it on as slowly as I dared, taking at least three minutes to fasten the buttons. Then I grabbed my scarf and wound it around my neck as normal.
“I say, you can’t go with your scarf like that,” said Cornelia. “We all have to wear them crossed over our chests. Let Lonny fix yours for you.”
I had, of course, seen that all the others wore their scarves like that, but to my mind it gave them a very common appearance. I pulled away from Ilonka’s help and stalked to the door. At that moment Kitty Burnett stood up and cannoned into me so hard that I nearly fell over. She started to say something, but the other girls all started to laugh with glee. By now I was so angry that I didn’t really know what I was doing. I stepped forward and boxed Kitty’s ears hard.

#115: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:03 am

Thanks Pat - can understand Eustacia losing her temper then - Kitty was just the unfortunate last straw.

Liz

#116: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 8:05 am

I'm feeling really sorry for the poor child now.

#117: Author: Joey, Location: Cambridge

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:27 pm

Thanks for this, Pat.

I've never really liked Eustacia because it shows the school in such a bad light, but this is worse than ever.

But please don't stop writing! It's very thought-provoking, in a good way.

#118: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 1:18 pm

I feel so sorry for Eustacia. She seems to be lost and frightened and nobody to reach out to or talk to. She must feel so alone.

#119: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:46 pm

“There! That will teach you to stop making fun of me, you horrid little thing!”
There was an immediate outcry from the other girls. Margia called me a beast, and Evadne called me scum, which was about what I would have expected from them. Others called me names in German and French which I failed to understand, which was probably just as well. The noise brought the Head, who managed to quieten them all. I stood in the middle of the room ,with the girls clustered around me so closely that I could hardly breath. She demanded to know what all the fuss was about. Silence fell, and I waited for one of them to tell her, but no one did. In the end I told her myself.
“I only boxed that rude child’s ears. She tried to knock me over, and then the others all laughed.”
Of course, Kitty denied it, and the others supported her, claiming that it was an accident. They showed her Kitty’s face, and I must admit that the print of my hand stood out in flaming red marks. My temper had betrayed me into using my full strength, which I regretted. Mademoiselle sent Margia to take Kitty to Matron to have her face bathed. Ilonka to Le Petit Chalet to ask Miss Wilson to take Kitty out with the Juniors. Then she told me to fasten my scarf properly and walk with Cornelia. “And, remember, no one is to speak with Eustacia until I give permission.”
That was a redundant instruction if there ever was one, for it was very clear that they had no intention of speaking to me. The walk set off in the most deadly silence imaginable.
We left the Chalet grounds, and the girls broke ranks, as they were permitted to do. Cornelia stuck grimly to my side, though it was very clear she wanted to be anywhere else but there. The fresh air and the silence around me gave me a little peace, and I began to think. Perhaps I had slipped a little when I boxed Kitty’s ears, not that she didn’t deserve it, but my dignity had suffered as a result. The Tiernsee was shining black against the snow, and I fervently wished that all the horrible girls at this school were safely at the bottom of it. Presently Mademoiselle came and sent Cornelia to join her friends, and requested that I should walk with her. We walked in silence for a while, and then she spoke.
“Why did you treat Kitty that way my child? It was unkind; it was unladylike. Your parents were gentle. What would they have thought of your actions today? You are not a boy, you must remember. For them, it does not matter that they have le boxe, and hit one another. But for a girl, that is not so. Such things may never be done. And to Kitty, who has done you no harm!”
“She pushed me on purpose!”
Mademoiselle pointed out gently that she had said it was an accident. I was too hurt, lonely and angry to accept this, and declared it to be a lie. “She did it to make those others laugh. I will not be laughed at and treated in this way! I am not accustomed to it - no one has ever treated me like this before. I will write to my aunt and tell her, and she will take me away, and then I shall tell everyone how disgracefully your girls behave. I am not like them - I know and I am glad of it! I at least have been taught to use my brains, and not to waste my time in foolish idle chatter about things that do not matter.”
“It does not seem so.”
“You are all against me! You all try to make me unhappy. But you shall never do that.”I
was desperate to get through to the Head, for I knew that she was truly a kind woman. If only I could make her see I felt that things might improve. I was so totally out of my depth, in a situation and a community that I did not understand. I could not make out why the other girls treated me like they did, for I could see that they behaved differently amongst themselves. It was only me who was the outsider, who failed to fit in; but I had had no preparation for this world that I found myself in, and I saw no way to learn, since I had been so thoroughly outcast. My last hope died with the Head’s reply.
“No; it is yourself who makes yourself unhappy. Believe me Eustacia, what we give to other people, that we may expect again. Now you have shown yourself to be in every way unlovable. Yet you complain because others do not love you.”
Through my anger and despair I recognised that this was what my aunt had said, but how could this be? My parents had both loved me. Not in the same demonstrative way that prevailed in my aunts family, that was true, but I had been loved. Then they had left me, and I had been thrown into an alien environment. When Mademoiselle asked why I should think that Kitty had lied, since I did not know her, and they had known her for three years, I gave no answer. What could I say? It seemed that they were predisposed to believe Kitty rather than me. She tried to divert me by pointing out the beauties of the landscape, mentioning the fairy-tale nature of the buildings amongst the snow. At thirteen, nearly fourteen, I was far too old to believe in fairies, and I told her so. Was that how she saw me? A small child to be diverted away from my hurt by silly stories?

#120: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:48 pm

Poor Eustacia... Crying or Very sad

#121: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 6:13 pm

Thanks Pat

Poor Eustacia - not only is she misunderstood, she can't explain herself to help others understand her.

Liz

#122: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 7:58 pm

I'm feeling more and more sorry for her - couldn't even one person help her?

Thanks Pat.

#123: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:25 pm

Poor Eustacia Sad

She must have felt so abandoned and alone.

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#124: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:41 pm

Aw, the poor child. I wish there was someone who would put themselves in her place, and try at least to understand her.

I wonder what Madge would make of all this.

#125: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 12:20 pm

Carolyn P wrote

Quote:

I wonder what Madge would make of all this.

Yes, i suppose it was Madge's influence on her that made the difference. Only Madge didn't really have that opportunity for one-one tiem with Eustacia until after the accident.

#126: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 12:37 pm

Poor Eustacia! I think all the many book worms on here would have murdered the prefects on the spot at that punishment!

I really think she is jsut too distressed to be reached at this stage by anyone.

#127: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 9:46 pm

The others came crowding up, asking if they might visit one of the chalets, to tell the occupants that they had a doll or some such for their daughter. Mademoiselle agreed, much to my surprise, for I did not expect the school to allow their pupils to mix with the local peasants. There was no way to know what disease they might carry. My misgivings were justified, for it seemed that the girl had become consumptive. Instead of leaving the child with her family, so that she might spend her last days in a familiar environment, they were planning to send her to the Sonnalpe, to the Sanatorium there, in the hope that they could cure her. I said something of the sort later to Paula von Rothenfels, only to be most rudely told to shut up by Evadne. Then Joey Bettany stuck her oar in too, clearly losing her temper, and setting an extremely bad example for the younger girls that were there.
“You perfect little beast! How dare you talk like that, as if Gredel were a kitten or - or a pigling! It’s a pity you weren’t drowned when you were a baby! Then we shouldn’t have had you here, with your beastly suggestions!”
I laughed in her face, for she was acting like a baby herself.
“Your own manners and language strike me as being on a par with those of the juniors. Really, it might have been as well for me to have gone to a council school in England as come here, I think. I certainly could not have met with more hooliganism anywhere than in this wonderful Chalet School of yours.”
At this Mary Burnett stepped in and sent Joey to find Juliet in the library, as she was looking for something there. Joey, reminded that she was a prefect, bit back whatever else she was about to say, and stalked from the room. The others girls were marshalled into line ready for the next meal. Then she calmly informed me that I was to go to Matron’s room to have my meals. I almost defied her, but her calm self-possession stopped me making things any worse for myself, and I went without another word. I didn’t stop thinking or feeling, and rightly or wrongly, I felt unjustly condemned for something over which I had no control - my upbringing. I do not think that I could have felt worse if I had known that Mary had called a School Council for the following day to discuss what they were to do about me.

#128: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:48 pm

Yes, Joey didn't come across too well there did she? And was this the only time we ever had a School Council?

Thanks Pat.

#129: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:01 am

Just thinking how that might have made her feel - knowing the whole school was talking about her. I think it would have given me a complex Wink

I agree with Lesley that Joey doesn't come over well - suggesting that somebody should have been drowned at birth wasn't very Christian of her really, was it!

Star Wars

#130: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 10:26 am

Lesley wrote:

Yes, Joey didn't come across too well there did she? And was this the only time we ever had a School Council?

I think they had one to decide on the magazine and possibly a few other things like that - but I can't think of another one being held to discuss how to deal with a girl who doesn't fit in.

Poor Eustacia - she knows all too well and recently what it's like to lose somebody close to her, and what it's like to be rooted out of a familiar environment into something completely alien - no wonder she thinks it better not to send Gredel away to the San.

Thanks Pat

Liz

#131: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:40 pm

A hard problem

Mademoiselle came to see me after Mittagessen, and told me that I had made it impossible for them to let me mingle with the other girls. Nothing about their treatment of me that had led to all this. Then she left me to Matron, who gave me a Prayer Book and told me to learn some of the collects. No one stood up to Matron, and I had to do as I was told. I took Kaffee und Kuchen in her room alone, for she ate with the rest of the staff, much to my relief. She came for me afterwards to take me to the common room for the evening service, though even then I was segregated, sitting to one side, and guarded by Matron. I was seething at this treatment, though I let nothing show on my face, standing and kneeling when the others did, outwardly obedient.

The next morning Mademoiselle gave her judgement. I was to apologise to Kitty for losing my temper, and to be isolated for the rest of that day. As far as the staff were concerned that would be the end of the matter. However, the girls had other ideas, and had held their Council during break, and I would find out later what they had decided.

I was brought downstairs later to attend the music class, and when I saw the music master, Mr Denny, I could hardly believe my eyes. He was clearly eccentric, for he wore his hair long, and wore distinctly bohemian clothes. At first sight he seemed quite insane, though I was to discover that he was a very fine teacher, who could pass his enthusiasm on to his pupils. We were given some music that I had never seen before, but it looked interesting. After humming through it we progressed to detailed work, and I found that the lesson was very far from being the sort of baby’s play I had been expecting. In fact, the lesson brought to light a love of music of which I had been totally unaware. When the lesson ended I felt almost bereft, and returned to my exile determined to write home for music lessons. I even managed to remain happy when presented with some hemming by Matron, which quite surprised me. After Kaffee und Kuchen I was allowed to read, but even the book failed to grip me, for I was still lost in the music.

#132: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:22 pm

Glad she has found something to give her some enjoyment, but it is such a horrid situation for her.

#133: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 10:35 pm

This story is making me feel that I want someone to step out and reach out to her and make her feel wanted.

#134: Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 8:51 am

Poor lonely little girl.

Thanks, Pat

#135: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:03 am

Thanks Pat

I'm so glad she found something she could enjoy at the school - now if only someone would pick up on that and help develop it!

Liz

#136: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:53 am

Meanwhile the rest of the school had been meeting to discuss how they were to deal with me. I only found out much later, when many other things had happened, and I was able to realise that they had been truly concerned about me.

When I was released from Matron’s supervision and returned to the full life of the school, I was surprised to be accosted by Joey Bettany. I was in no mood to be civil, for I was still smarting over everything that had happened, and had no idea that this encounter was a result of the School Council meeting.
“Come into the library will you? I want to show you our magazine – the Chaletian. We wondered if you would care to let us have an article on Oxford for it? What do you think?” She took a slim, bound book off the shelf as she spoke and turned to hand it to me. Naturally I had not followed her into the library, for I had been banned from it until half term by Joey herself, and I could not forgive her, or the other prefects, for keeping me from the books. The casual way the Joey had spoken to me made me angry, for it was as if nothing had happened.
“Thank you, but you seem to have forgotten that you have forbidden me to enter,” I said stiffly.
However, it seemed that the ban did not count when a prefect chose otherwise, but I refused to allow that to change the restriction I was under.
“I see no reason why I should enter to please you, Josephine Bettany, and I prefer to stay outside.”
“Oh nonsense!” said Joey, in a very offhand manner. “You can’t be stuffy about it yet, surely?”
What did she expect me to be? I had been forbidden the use of the one room that offered escape from the confines of the school and the presence of the other girls, and I responded very stiffly.
Joey laughed. “Why d’you try to keep on your own, Eustacia? Listen to me, and, for goodness sake, come in! I don’t want the whole school to hear what I’m going to say!” She crossed the room towards me and grabbed my arm, trying to pull me inside the room, but I wrenched my arm away.
“I refuse to be bullied like this!” I cried. I had had enough of being told to do this or that by girls not so very much older than I was.
“Oh, my wig! I wasn’t bullying you, you…. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Eustacia, and I don’t see how I could. Look here, if you won’t come here, come on up to the prees’ room, and then we can discuss this question of the article on Oxford in peace,”“Thank you, but there is nothing to discuss.”
“But of course there is! I haven’t told you the sort of thing I want, nor the length, nor anything.”
That really roused my temper. Did she really think that I wanted to do anything for her, or her precious school, after everything that had happened? “And do you really think that you’ve only to ask to have? I will never so you an article of any kind – NEVER!”
“’Never’ is a pretty long time. All right; I see it’s no use. Sorry I bothered you.” She put the magazine back on the shelf and began to clear a table. I stood uncertainly in the doorway, not sure whether I could go or not. Jo looked suddenly older and rather dignified. She finished what she was doing and moved to the door, dismissed me quietly, locked the door behind her and went off up the corridor.
Feeling at a loss, I went to my form-room, wishing that I had answered her differently, much to my own surprise. I began to feel a respect for Jo, for she had controlled a hot tempered response at one point, and answered quietly. I admired her for her restraint, and out of that admiration gradually grew as liking which I fought hard against, but was unable to conquer.

#137: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 1:49 pm

Well done to Joey for at least trying to reach out to Eustacia.

#138: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 2:13 pm

OK, can admire Joey not losing her temper - but she, more than anyone else, should have been aware of just how much the punishment would hurt Eustacia - it's as though they all just expected her to dismiss it - that it didn't matter.

Thanks Pat.

#139: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:28 pm

Thanks for the update Pat. I still feel sorry for poor Eustacia though.

Star Wars

#140: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:29 pm

Thanks Pat, great update

((Eustacia))

I would never have coped with the Library being out of bounds!

#141: Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:32 pm

I feel sorry for Eustacia. I can't see how they could be so naive as to expect her to just behave as if nothing had happened.
I think the staff were sadly lacking in care for the poor girl.

Joey has tried, within the limits of her experience and age but I find it terrible that the staff let it get to this stage.

Thank you Pat, you are putting Eustacia across really well.

#142: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 8:09 pm

Poor Eustacia. Jo was rather tactless asking her to go to the study, but did well to keep her temper.

Thanks Pat

Liz

#143: Author: Sophoife, Location: down under Down Under

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:59 pm

I just feel more and more sorry for Eustacia in this drabble...

I would have behaved far worse than Eustacia did, I'm afraid.

#144: Author: Guest,

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 6:23 pm

I hope nobody minds but I'm so embarrassed by this I'm signing in as a guest so I don't reveal who I am.

When I first started secondary school, I used to tell tales. It wasn't done because I wanted to be horrible to the other kids, I just wanted to help the teachers so they would know who had done something wrong. I was given a hard time for it. People used to argue with me about it and I'd argue back.

After two years, I changed schools so I could start all over again. I didn't tell tales and I was a lot happier.

I sympathise with Eustacia because she thought it was the right thing to do. Nobody actually told me it was the right thing to do, I was just convinced it was.

I hope I haven't offended anyone by saying this.

#145: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 8:26 pm

I don't think you've offended anyone Guest - it happens, people make mistakes or have different ideas. If anything it makes the character of Eustacia that much more believable, knowing that other people did the same.

Thanks for sharing.

#146: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:35 pm

theres a fine line between telling tales and making staff aware of situations. Eustacia didn't know where that was cos no-one told her. I'm sure sometimes what I said to teachers, and this probably goes for a lot of people, but it could have been classified as tale-telling.

Even now I have to bite my tongue when one child comes to me with stories about another - I just remind myself that if they're telling me then it's obviously important to them.

#147: Author: Guest,

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:15 am

Thanks for your support.

#148: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:40 pm

I wanted desperately to find somewhere quiet to read, and finally came up with an idea which I put into practice immediately. I went to the staff room to ask if I might use the chemistry lab, but there was no one there. The key was hanging on its hook however, so I lifted it down and went to the lab to read. Unfortunately, as I settled down, I knocked a large jar of some liquid or other off the bench, and it crashed onto the floor, breaking into pieces and spilling the contents in all directions. The shock made me scream, and I leapt away from the spill, having no idea what had been in the jar. The noise brought Evadne and Paula into the room, and Evadne immediately declared that it had hydrochloric acid. I had never studied chemistry, so I had no idea what the significance of this might be, but it was clearly serious, for she positively shrieked at me to touch nothing, and ran for the prefects. Mary sent her to find Miss Wilson and came herself to the laboratory. Before long the room was full of people - Middles who had heard the noise and come to investigate, and staff come in response to Evadne’s summons. The last to arrive was Miss Wilson, as she had to come from Le Petit Chalet , but she swiftly identified the liquid as distilled water, having been careful to lock away any harmful chemicals, as anyone with any sense would have realised. Once the mess had been cleared away she proceeded to ask some questions. Having found out that most of the onlookers had been brought by the noise, she sat down on one of the stools, gesturing to the other mistresses to join her.
“Now I want to get to the bottom of this,” she said severely. Which girl opened the door in the fist place?”
I was still badly scared, but summoned up the courage to confess that it had been me.
Miss Wilson turned round. “Eustacia! You! But you don’t do science!”
Everyone stared at me, and I could feel myself blushing, much to my annoyance. “I only wanted somewhere to read in peace,” I said.
“And how did you get in?”
“I took the key from the staff room.”

#149: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:48 pm

oh dear - looks like she might be in trouble again

poor Eustacia. But at least she owned up, surely Miss Wilson can give her some credit for that.

#150: Author: Róisín, Location: Galway, Eire

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:02 pm

Hi Pat,
I read through this whole thing so far in one go. Am actually midway through the actual Eustacia at the moment and you have her down perfectly. Thanks for the excellently-written insight into her character, which always remains so private to us during the book. Very Happy

#151: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:03 am

Thanks Pat

Well done Eustacia for owning up.

Liz

#152: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 4:45 am

And they still won't understand her. She shouldn't have taken the key, but can't they see it was desperation?

Thanks Pat.

#153: Author: Kathy_S, Location: midwestern US

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 5:11 am

Knowing how little understanding Eustacia can hope for in the upcoming study scene makes this all the more poignant.

#154: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:37 am

Thanks Pat, great update

#155: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:40 pm

The poor child. This treatment would drive me mad. I think I would have exploded in her place.

#156: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:52 pm

Miss Annersley took in the room full of girls and made a quick decision, sending them back to the common room, and me to the staff room. Once there they quickly found out all they wanted to know.
“But how dared you take my keys like that?” asked Miss Wilson. “How dared you have the impudence to do such a thing?”
“I wanted somewhere to read in peace.” It was perfectly reasonable to my mind, for how anyone could concentrate in the common room was beyond me. Besides, the other girls were ostracising me, and I certainly didn’t want to be with them! “I did not mean it for impudence.”
“But Eustacia, you must have known that it was a very wrong thing for you to take that key like that without permission,” said Miss Annersley. “In this school, rooms, when they are locked, are locked for a purpose. Apart from that, it is the rule that no girl goes into either of the laboratories unless the science mistress is there with her. We have no wish for an accident to happen. You have been flagrantly disobedient, and I am afraid, underhand.”
I denied that charge vehemently, saying that I had told them about the key at once. However, Miss Wilson said that she had already begun her enquiries when I spoke. So she had, but I had owned up immediately she asked, so where was the problem? She then went on to say that she would have to hide her key in future, and made a nasty comment about it not having been necessary before as the other girls could all be trusted. I had had no knowledge of the rule about entering the laboratories alone, since I did not do science, but I did feel uncomfortable about taking the key. Jo Bettany had been scathing to me on the subject of the library key, and now this, so perhaps they were right about that. Miss Wilson accused me directly of stealing the key, which was absurd, for I was going to return it when I had finished, so it was only borrowing, not stealing. I had no intention of keeping the thing. She pointed out that I could have caused considerable damage to the floor if the jar had contained acid, which I conceded to myself. However, all I said was that I wanted somewhere to read. Then Miss Annersley threw a bombshell at me.
“But Eustacia, can you not see that you have been very wrong? If this goes on, I do not see how we can be expected to keep you here. You do not wish to be sent away in disgrace, do you? It would mean that you would be regarded as a girl whom we could not trust - who had not sufficient sense of honour for us to trust you. That would be a bad beginning indeed to your life.”
The shock after all that had happened nearly had me in tears, but I was determined that they should not see that. I would have almost preferred to die! Perhaps Miss Annersley did notice, for she sent me to bed, saying that Mademoiselle would have to set my punishment. She finished with a final admonition. “And do, my dear girl, consider that you are one of a community now, and must abide by the rules of that community.”
I left the room and went to bed as fast as I could, snuggling down under the plumeau which Matron had stitched to the blankets, and cried myself to sleep.

#157: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:01 pm

Eustacia is growing on me more and more as this drabble carries on. Couldn't she have read in the common room?

#158: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:05 pm

Poor child, if only there had been someone that had taken her side.

Thanks Pat.

#159: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:15 pm

All very well if the community actually told her what their rules are!

Thanks Pat

Liz

#160: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:38 pm

no-one understands her

whats worse is that no-one even tries to

#161: Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 1:01 pm

francesn wrote:

no-one understands her

whats worse is that no-one even tries to

Makes you wonder, doesn't it, because usually people did try. Was it her cold front, do you think, that no one could get behind?

Thanks, Pat

#162: Author: Lyanne, Location: Ipswich, England

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 5:15 pm

I think it was so early in the school's life that they didn't really try to look under the surface. think about how unhappy simone had been. prehaps it was because of these incidents that they started to make so much effort.

it struck my today how much Jo would have hated being deprived of books & somewhere to read.

#163: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 7:23 pm

Just catching up. Poor Eustacia. It does make you wonder why nobody tried to understand her and help her through such a traumatic transition. Unfortunately it's only going to get worse for her Crying or Very sad

#164: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 10:31 pm

Next Day

On the following day I was interviewed by Mademoiselle, which resulted in a ban from entering either of the laboratories, and a firm promise from me never to borrow keys again. She also made me learn ten French fables by heart, but for her that was the end of the matter. From there I was sent to get ready for a snow fight which would be between the Chalet School and St Scholastika’s.
I was told to dress in climbing garb, which included heavy breeches, more fit for boys or rough workmen than for girls. I was objecting to wearing such things when the prefects arrived to make sure everyone was ready, and immediately found myself in an argument with Jo. She pointed out to me that they were far safer than skirts, which was why we were to wear them that day.
“I will not wear such unmaidenly things,” I said.
Jo finally gave up and went in search of the staff - and what was that but telling tales? They had all been so angry when I did it, but now Jo herself was doing so. I could not see any difference. Before long Matron appeared. She held out the breeches to me grimly.
“Now then, put these on and hurry up. I have no time to stand here arguing with you! If you don’t get into them in five minutes time I shall treat you as though you were the Robin, and put you into them myself.”
I found myself meekly putting the dreadful things on, for I was quite sure that Matron was capable of carrying out her threat. When I was ready she took me to Miss Wilson, who marched me outside to join the others. Then we all set off for the battle ground where we were to fight the girls of St Scholastika’s, the other school situated on the Tiernsee. The fresh air and wonderful scenery began to make me feel happier. In fact I managed to smile when Mary received a shower of snow from an overhead branch.

#165: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 10:40 pm

Can quite see her puzzlement at the whole 'telling tales' business.

Poor girl.

#166: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 10:40 pm

It's nice to see the snow fight mentioned. I never was exactly sure of the difference between reporting and tale telling.

#167: Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:04 am

Another point which has occured to me as I've been reading this is that Eustacia is only thirteen. Thirteen year old girls are not the most rational of creatures at the best of times, let alone when they are grieving and have been plunged into an unfamiliar and unsympathetic environment.

Thanks Pat, this is very well written and thought-provoking.

#168: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:42 pm

We met the other school at the agreed battleground, and the Chalet School took over a kind of natural fort made of low bushes buried by snow. We were given our instructions for the defence of this fort and began to make ammunition. I was a bit dismissive of all this, feeling that a snowball fight was rather childish, especially for the Seniors, though they were as full of excitement as the Juniors. It was only when the fight actually started that I found out why everyone was so keen, for I too became infected by what was going on, and made snowballs as fast as I could. It was great fun, and I felt happier than I had done since I had lost my father. The fresh air and exercise blew away the cobwebs and left me feeling clean and bright all through. By the time the battle was over and we returned to the Chalet for Kaffee und Kuchen, I was as flushed and untidy as any of the others.
There was no opportunity to tidy myself properly before Kaffee as there were so many girls trying to get at the mirrors in the Splasheries, and I could feel that my hair was untidy. It had a natural wave that was absent when it was tied back into plaits, and I could feel it hanging round my face. For once I shrugged to myself and let it go - there was no time for anything else. I found myself between two of the ’Saints’ at the table, and found myself talking and laughing with them quite naturally. I felt almost under a spell, for I realised for the first time that the girls were willing to be friendly, even if they knew nothing about the things that interested me. There was a lot of talk about the sale to raise money for the free wards at the Sanatorium, and the Saints were as keen as the Chalet girls. I had heard little of this - or rather, I had refused to hear much about it, feeling so cut off from the other girls as I had. The chatter and the stories that were told made me think, and I let the talk flow round me as I thought things out in my mind.
When the Saints had gone we went straight into preparation, and I completely forgot that I had done nothing to my hair since we returned. It was only when Kitty Burnett startled me by saying how pretty I looked that I remembered.

#169: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:57 pm

It's nice to see Eustacia feeling happier. Maybe she would have been happier at St Scholastika's.

#170: Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:01 pm

Good to see she is thinking things through in her mind, thanks to the fresh air, but how long will the calm last?

Thanks, Pat.

#171: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:24 pm

Also wonder if she might have done better at St Scholastika's - she seemed able to chat to the Saints.

Thanks Pat.

#172: Author: Joyful, Location: Manchester

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:44 pm

This really shows how up how much Eustacia was a case of give a dog a bad name...
The Saints, who know nothing of her, are friendly to her and she responds according to their expectations. The Chalet girls now treat her with disgust and she responds accordingly.
OK, she responded badly to them in the first place, but she was adjusting to a new and totally different situation which didn't abide by any of the rules she had previously lived by, having just come from a house which was meant to be a supportive family for her but still changed everything she had ever known. Now she's at least got used to being at school, learnt some of the rules of her new environment by being punished for disobeying them, and she can begin to respond to school girls properly.
The tragedy is that the Chalet doesn't see this and leave it to the Saints to treat her 'normally'

(got a bit carried away there! Embarassed

)

#173: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:19 pm

Madge pays a visit

The happiness I felt that day could not be expected to last I suppose, human nature being what it is. I had started off on the wrong foot at the school, and one day could not be expected to make a lasting difference. Before long I was in trouble again, this time with the Fifth. I had an excellent fountain pen, which I was always careful to keep with me at all times. However, the next day I left it on Margia’s desk. When Miss Stewart came into the room, Margia gave her the pen. I only found out that it was missing when we put away our books before going upstairs to change for Kaffee und Kuchen, and started to turn out my locker at once.
“What’s up?” asked Evadne..
For once I did not mention the slang, but simply told her about the pen.
“Did you not perhaps leave it in the Fifth-form room?” suggested Ilonka.
“I do not think so. I am not usually careless.”
“Still we had rather a scrum to clear out before the Fifths came, you remember,” said Elsie. “I should go and ask if I were you.”
“I’ll come with you shall I?” asked Evadne. She slipped her hand through my arm, and I was feeling so worried as well as happy after the previous day, that I did not shake her off as I would have done before. We went together to the Fifth-form room, and as soon as we went in, Margia knew what we had come for.
“You’ve come about your pen, Eustacia,” she began. “Well, I’m awfully sorry, but Charlie has it.”
“Charlie has it?” cried Evadne. “Oh, I say! You weren’t such a mean as to give it to her, were you?”
“Of course I wasn’t! she found out about it, and took it!” snapped Margia.
I hardly heard, for at least I now knew where my pen was, and I could reclaim it. I asked Evadne if she would come with me, something I certainly would not have considered doing before the previous day, but I was still feeling relaxed and so much happier than I had been. I was in for another shock, however, and one for which I was very much unprepared.
“I say! You can’t just got to Charlie like that,” said Anne Seymour. “She seemed to be awfully mad about it; and if I were you, Eustacia, I’d keep clear of her till she’s cooled down a bit. If you go now, she’ll probably just confiscate it, and read you a sermon a mile long on carelessness.”
“But - I don’t understand! I cried. “How should any mistress keep my pen?”
Here was another mystery. I had been lectured about taking the keys to both the library and the science laboratory, though I had only borrowed them. I had accepted that I had broken the rules of the school, and promised never to do that again. Now it seemed that a mistress could keep my pen for no other reason than that I had forgotten to pick it up when I left the Fifth-form room. Apparently she had heard the girls laughing about it and had demanded to know the reason. Margia had told her, and now I was told that I was unlikely to get my pen back.
“But this is injustice1 I have never left anything before, and to punish me because you were laughing is not fair!”
“She isn’t - but for leaving your pen about,” said Margia.
“Why must you laugh over it?” I was getting very angry again. There was so much that I could not understand, and that everyone else seemed to take for granted that I was constantly in a state of bewilderment. “Why could you not have put it away quietly and given it to me later? But I suppose it was to get me into trouble!” I finished rather bitterly.

#174: Author: Mia, Location: London

Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:22 pm

Poor Eustacia, it is so confusing for her and so sad that she doesn't know what other girls are like! Thanks Pat

#175: Author: Joyful, Location: Manchester

Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:37 pm

How very confusing - the double standards of rules that apply in any school
Thanks Pat Very Happy

#176: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 10:52 pm

Poor Eustacia - even more confusion!

Thanks Pat

Liz

#177: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 11:34 am

Poor Eustacia - I can see why she's so confused. It must feel like hypocrisy to her.

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#178: Author: Jennie, Location: Cambridgeshire

Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 2:59 pm

Thanks, Pat.

#179: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 10:33 pm

I can see why Eustacia doesn't understand what has happened - she has my full sympathies. *Hugs Eustacia*

#180: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 5:43 pm

Think Charlie was at fault too - after all it wasn't really Eustacia's fault - the class had to vacate the room quickly - that's her bad temper coming in.

Thanks Pat.

#181: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 9:55 pm

Margia naturally denied that, and apologised for getting me into trouble, but she herself had lines of Milton to learn. I left the room and headed for the staff room to see if I could retrieve my pen, for I needed it to do my work. I found Miss Stewart in a raging temper, and tore into me leaving me breathless. I would not see my pen until half-term, and Miss Stewart left me with the impression that she considered me extremely untidy, although I had never left anything lying about before. By the time I reached the common-room I had come to the conclusion that this need not have happened except for Margia. I was still too inexperienced to understand that Margia had not meant to bring this down on my head, but felt that she had tried to get me into trouble. On the spur of the moment I rushed off to the senior common-room and lashed into Margia. She responded, and before long we were in a pitched battle. Inevitably Matron arrived on the scene and sent us both to bed, after telling us exactly what she thought of our behaviour. The Fourth for once took my side of the argument, and the Fifth backed Margia, making something of a feud between the two forms.
One morning Mademoiselle announced that Mrs Russell, or Madame as the girls called her, was coming down from the Sonnalpe for a visit. There was great excitement at this, for she was clearly well loved. She had obviously been told about the feud, for she had Margia and Evadne sitting on either side of her at the evening meal, which put an end to their quarrel, and other people also buried the hatchet. In fact, when I reminded Evadne that we were not speaking to members of the Fifth, she broke away from me, exclaiming that we couldn’t keep that up for ever! I was a little upset, but let it go, for since the this all blew up I had been happier than I had been since the beginning of term, and was really beginning to feel as if I could settle down in the school. It was not to last, unfortunately, and though I did not know it, I was entering the worst period of my life.

#182: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 10:27 pm

Actually blame Con Stewart for all of that!

Thanks Pat.

#183: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 10:33 pm

It's nice to see Eustacia a little happier even if it will not last. At least Margia was punished.

#184: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 10:46 pm

Thanks Pat

Liz

#185: Author: Elle,

Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 3:15 pm

Have just rediscovered this and it is brilliant. Am going home to read Eustacia now! I think re-reading it having read this will make me much more sympathetic to her.

Razz

#186: Author: MaryR, Location: Sale Cheshire

Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 6:52 pm

The calm before the storm Crying or Very sad

Thanks, Pat

#187: Author: Carolyn P, Location: Lancaster, England

Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:22 pm

Thanks Pat. Feel so sorry for her, knowing what is still to come.

#188: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2005 11:25 pm

Poor Eustacia - like everybody else I'm almost dreading the next bits (in a nice way, of course Wink

)

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#189: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 10:17 pm

Half-term begins

“Last lesson for five days! Hurrah!! Evadne tossed her French grammar into the air and caught it again, though it scattered loose pages all over the floor. We were waiting for Mademoiselle Lachenais to come to us for French translation, which was the last lesson before the holidays began. Most girls were going away, and only a small group would be left, including myself. We were going to spend the time at Fulpmes, and the plan was to set of immediately after Kaffee to walk down the mountain to Spartz, a three mile walk which I had done at the beginning of term. Jo and Robin were coming with us, as Mrs Russell had guests, which would leave no room for them over the holiday. Robin walked with Jo and Anne, And I walked with Elsie. It was not quite dark when we set off, but under the trees was another matter, and we were all glad of our torches. We sang marching songs as we went, which made the journey go easier, though by the time we reached Spartz we were all very tired. Robin fell asleep on the train taking us to Innsbruck, and she was not the only one. We spent the night in the Hotel Europe, so as to be fresh for the journey the next day.
The streets were snow covered as we walked to the Stubaitalbahn. As we walked along the Andreas Hofer Strasse, Joey told us all the story of the Tyrolean patriot who lived at the time of Napoleon. It was an interesting story, and Joey told it well, for she was a born story-teller. When she had finished I commented that I had never understood why so many people though Napoleon to be a great person, for I considered him to be a brutal domineering tyrant. Of course, I had no idea that Jo was one of those people, though I’m not certain that I would have held my tongue even if I had, for what else do you call someone who tried to bring all of Europe under his control? However, Jo flared up immediately.
“He was one of the greatest men the world has ever seen!” she cried. “He had no idea what his men were doing to poor Hofer till it was too late. And he made the French a nation, a great nation!”
I stared at her in surprise, for Napoleon had been one of England’s greatest enemies, and it seemed to me to be unpatriotic to admire him, and I said so.
Of course Jo retorted, and we were soon going at it hammer and nails, until Miss Wilson pointed out that we were walking straight past the Bahnhof!

#190: Author: Lesley, Location: Allhallows, Kent

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 11:05 pm

Yet another time when I actually agree with Eustacia - but Joey is shown as the sympathetic view in the book.

Thanks Pat.

#191: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 11:13 pm

Who were the so important visitors that meant Joey and Robin couldn't go and stay with Madge and Jem?

#192: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 11:26 pm

They were doctors visiting the san!

#193: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 12:10 am

Thanks Pat - never could understand Jo's point of view in that argument!

Liz

#194: Author: Amanda M, Location: Wakefield

Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 9:44 am

I also never understood Jo's obssession with Napoleon. As Eustacia said - he was a tyrant Smile

Thanks Pat.

Star Wars

#195: Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries

Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:22 pm

Another one firmly on the anti-Joey bench here.

Thanks Pat!

#196: Author: Pat, Location: Doncaster

Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 10:19 pm

The journey to Fulpmes was beautiful, with wonderful views of the Sill valley. When we finally stopped at Fulpmes we could tell that we were much higher than we were used to, for the air was thinner. A man was waiting to show us to our pension, and before long we came to a tall square house, with green jalousies, and a yellow door which was flung open by the woman who ran the place. She welcomed us and led us into a long narrow room, heated by one the of huge porcelain stoves that were used all over the region. She told us that Mittagessan would soon be ready and in the meantime she would show us our rooms. I was to share a room with Louise and Elsie. Everything was very spartan but extremely clean, with the floor polished to an inch of its life. The plumeaux had bright red covers, which brightened the otherwise white room.
Mittagessen was a very strange meal, unlike anything I had ever eaten before. We had soup with eggs floating in it, rather under-done at that! This was followed by boiled ham and prunes, which caused a good deal of laughter. For dessert there was some sort of porridge served with cherries that had been steeped in spirits. I found it all rather peculiar, but managed to eat most of it. After Mittagessen we met with our guide to arrange our trips for the few days we would be thee. He was a little surprised that his party was made up of schoolgirls, but agreed that he would take us to some point on the Stubai glacier on Monday, if the weather permitted. Then we all went for a walk up the valley, over crisp snow, for there had so far been no thaw. The mountains hung around the valley, and far below we could see the lights of the villages. As we were returning to our pension Joey called to me.
“Will you come to Mass with us on Sunday? Or will you stay at home with Vi and Ruth?”
I stopped dead in the middle of the path in shock at the question. ”Of course I shall not go!” I was indignant at being asked if I would go to a Catholic church, for I had been brought up an Anglican. Jo said something in reply, and turned back to Miss Wilson, but I was still feeling indignant when we returned to our hotel. As it happened, we were the last to leave our room to go down for Kaffee, and I took the opportunity to enquire further into the problem.
“Why should you wish to take me to the Catholic church?” I asked abruptly, for I was puzzled but also in a bit of a quandary about the best method of broaching the question. As a result I came out a good deal worse than I had intended. Jo turned and stared at me in amazement.
“Don’t be so silly! I only asked if you wished to come with us. I’m going; they usually have glorious singing in these little churches. And after all, Eustacia, it’s only one of the roads to God. If you think that way, then it’s best for you. If you think another way, then that’s best. But they all go to the same end.”
“Are you a Catholic?”
Joey shook her head. “I am not. You know very well that I’m C of E.”
“I don’t believe you.” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. Of course I knew that she was C of E, but I couldn’t understand why she was going to the Catholic church.
“Oh, all right! Say I’m telling lies, and have done with it!”I was silent, for I hadn’t meant that I thought she was lying. I didn’t really know what I thought, for by this time I was totally confused.
“Silly little ass!” went on Jo.
I flushed scarlet at this. For some reason Jo always managed to upset and annoy me easier than any of the other girls. I couldn’t understand why this was, but she succeeded again now, without even trying, for I could see she was more concerned with the fact that she had failed to find the brooch she had been looking for. “I will not be called names!” I cried angrily.
“Then don’t go hinting that I’m a liar - got it, thank goodness,” said Joey all in one breath, as she made a dive under the bed and rescued her brooch. “Come on! Kaffee will be in, and we shall be fearfully late.”
I followed her from the room, still angry at the name Jo had called me. I was utterly determined to get my own back on her somehow - she would know that I was not someone to be treated with contempt.

#197: Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England

Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:18 pm

Thanks Pat - poor Eustacia

Her upbringing really has a lot to answer for!

Liz

#198: Author: Róisín, Location: Galway, Eire

Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:19 pm

Lovely, Pat. Smile

#199: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:54 am

I enjoyed the descriptions of the views. I wonder why Joey and Eustacia find it so hard to get along with each other?

#200: Author: Chair, Location: Rochester, Kent, England

Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:40 pm