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Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete
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Author:  Finn [ Mon May 17, 2010 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Hallo all! This is my first drabble, so forgive me if I make any glaring errors. It'll be in two parts.

I've just read Exile and was struck by the mention of Cornelia's close relationship with and deep affection for Mademoiselle Lepattre, which got me thinking about the death of a very close friend of mine last summer. I found that even weeks and months after her death, various pieces of music would set me off, and the same must be true for many others. That set me thinking about what would happen when Cornelia had her first singing lesson after learning of Mademoiselle's death, and this is the result.


Cornelia hesitated as she reached the door of the little music room. She must not linger for long; Plato would not be pleased if she arrived late for her singing lesson, for he was wont to work her hard and frequently bemoaned the limited time devoted to her musical education. But today was different, for barely three days had passed since the school had learned of Mademoiselle Lepattre's sad death. While the girls that had known her mourned her keenly, for Cornelia things were worse. She was an unsentimental young lady, not much given to emotion, but to her, the kindness shown by Mademoiselle had done much to reform her from the hard-hearted, difficult character she had been when first she had arrived at the Chalet School, and in consequence she had felt a tenacious affection and deep love for the kind-hearted little headmistress, and had been badly upset by her death. She had insisted on continuing as normal, however, and since her fainting fit on hearing the sad news she had managed to keep a tight rein on her emotions - for more than anything she hated a "scene" - but now it was time for her singing lesson, and she feared that music might stir her deeply-felt grief.

“Wouldn’t it be just awful if I had a fit of the flops in front of Plato!” she thought to herself. “Why, I’d never look him in the face again. Well, I must just set myself to it – Plato will have a fit if I’m any later than I am now.”

And so saying, she tapped at the door and marched in at the melodious, “Enter!” which floated from within.

To her surprise and horror, Plato, or more accurately Mr Denny, the singing master, was alone. Usually Grizel Cochrane, the music mistress, attended lessons as accompanist, but this was not always possible, and once or twice before the singing master had been forced to play for his lessons himself. Cornelia, however, had expected Grizel to be there, and now she entered the room feeling sick and anxious.

“Oh my stars,” she thought. “I don’t know if I can do it. If only Grizel were here!” For though she could expect little sympathy from the hard-hearted Grizel, Cornelia would far rather have had her as comforter, should she break down.

Mr Denny was blithely unaware of the girl’s panic, and beamed at her in his customary fashion, motioning for her to come further into the room.

“Ah, Cornelia,” he said, merrily. “Come in, come in! You see we are without Miss Cochrane today, so I have perforce to stumble through the accompaniments myself. Have you all of your music? Place them over there, please, on the table. We shall attend to warming up before we turn to them.”

Cornelia did as she was bid, then came to stand before the piano for the exercises with which they began each lesson. Mr Denny’s comment about his playing was not entirely justified, as he was a very fair pianist, and he accompanied the exercises with vigour. Cornelia herself managed to get through them well enough, though her voice cracked a little over some of the high notes. Mr Denny raised his eyebrows, concerned, but she excused herself as having a slightly sore throat, and he waved in the direction of a jug of water and glasses, saying to help herself as she needed. She poured a glass, grateful, and then they turned to her songs. She presented a fair performance of the first two, drawing little criticism from her precise and careful singing master. Then she turned to the third, and felt her throat tighten. It was by Debussy, one of Mademoiselle’s own favourite composers. Cornelia swallowed hard and blinked furiously, determined not to give way. She simply couldn’t cry now! She took a deep breath and looked up to see Mr Denny looking at her curiously.

“Are you quite well, child?” he asked, sounding a little alarmed, but she nodded and even managed a strained smile, which seemed to satisfy him, for he said,

“From the top then – if you are ready?”

She nodded again, and he struck the opening chords, but as she began, she realised she would not make it through the piece. On the third phrase her voice began to tremble as the emotion swelled in her heart – oh Mademoiselle, her beloved Mademoiselle, so kind, so patient, so understanding; gone! It could not be! – and then her shoulders began to shake and the tears welled up and spilled over, down her cheeks and pattering onto the songsheet which she could no longer see.

Author:  Abi [ Mon May 17, 2010 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Poor Corney - how very difficult for her. I always thought it was so sad that no-one realised how strongly she felt about Mademoiselle. :(

Thanks bonnie - and congrats on your first drabble!

Author:  PaulineS [ Mon May 17, 2010 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Poor Cornelia, I hope Plato is sympathetic,

Author:  Alison H [ Mon May 17, 2010 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Thanks bonnie - looking forward to reading more of this. I know just what you mean about certain pieces of music reminding you of people you've lost.

Author:  cal562301 [ Tue May 18, 2010 6:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

A moving start to your first drabble. Looking forward to reading more of this.

Thanks Bonnie.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Tue May 18, 2010 8:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Thanks Bonnie, I think Plato will be more understanding than Corney realises as he lost friends during the War and will know what she's going through.

Congratulations on your first drabble

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue May 18, 2010 11:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Congratulations on your first drabble, and thankyou. It must be so hard for Corney, and music can be so very evocative, so I can understand why she's finding it hard. I hope that Plato can comfort her.

Author:  Chatelaine [ Tue May 18, 2010 1:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Oh, that was lovely! Very sad for poor Cornelia, especially as she has always been such a stoic girl. I'm sure Plato will be very understanding; as Fiona Mc points out, he lost friends in the Great War.

Author:  Finn [ Wed May 19, 2010 12:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Thanks for all the kind comments :) I'll post the next part shortly.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed May 19, 2010 1:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

I saw you had posted and was hoping for the next part!

Author:  Finn [ Wed May 19, 2010 11:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Oh, sorry, Fiona! How mean of me :)

I lied. I said it would be in two parts, but it turns out it'll be in three! Sorry...

*

Mr Denny looked up from the piano as Cornelia’s voice faltered, and was startled to see her shuddering as she stood before him. He had little idea what could have struck the girl so suddenly, and wondered if she were taken ill.

“Cornelia?” he questioned, but she did not respond, and now there were tears pouring down her cheeks and onto her music. Alarmed, he rose from the piano, uncertain of what best to do. His first instinct was to go for a mistress, but he had taught Cornelia for several years now and knew her well enough to realise that tears in her were rare and remarkable, and that she would not thank him for drawing them to the attention of anyone else. Which meant that he must deal with the weeping girl before him by himself.

Cornelia was so far gone in her misery that she was unaware of the singing master’s indecision. She dropped the copy onto the floor and sobbed, sobbed for Mademoiselle and for herself, her loneliness. She wept and wept, until she felt Mr Denny’s hand on her shoulder and heard him say, gently,

“Cornelia, look at me.”

She looked up into his concerned face and questioning eyes.

“What is the matter, my child?” he asked, anxiously.

Cornelia shook her head and buried her face in her hands, and, thinking frantically of how he might deal with Sarah under similar circumstances, Mr Denny tentatively slipped an arm about her shoulders and held her gingerly, feeling thoroughly uncomfortable. However, this small support was just what Cornelia needed, and in spite of herself she leaned into his shoulder, face still in her hands, her sobs calming somewhat as she struggled to control herself. After a minute or so, she was able to gasp out some of her troubles, and Mr Denny caught the word “Mademoiselle” between the sobs and gulps for air.

Understanding dawned, and in an instant, his brow cleared. Leaving Cornelia for a moment, he fetched the piano stool and brought it over, sitting her down on it while he himself crouched down beside it, one hand on her shoulder, while with the other he rummaged in his pockets for a handkerchief, hoping fervently that he had a clean one with him. Thankfully he found one, which he presented to the girl, and passed her a glass of water as she rubbed her eyes.

“It is very hard to hear of such a death. It is a tragic loss, but she died in peace, surrounded by her family. You must not grieve too deeply for her, Cornelia. She is in a happier place now.”

But to his surprise, these words of comfort had little effect on Cornelia, who shook her head distractedly and began weeping again. He rested a hand on her shoulder and looked despairingly towards the door, hoping desperately that someone would hear the child’s tears and come to the rescue. Then he realised that Cornelia was trying to say something, and turned his attention back to the girl.

“What is it, Cornelia?” he said, “ I cannot hear you, child.” And then, as she almost choked on her tears, and coughed and spluttered, he murmured, “Steady,” and, still in that gentle tone, “Breathe, now.”

She took a gulp of air, and then it flooded out; how much Mademoiselle had meant to her; how in the face of her recalcitrance and the mischief she had wrought, Mademoiselle had not scolded but instead had offered kindness, patience and tolerance where harsh words or even blows would have been dealt out by others; how the mild-mannered headmistress had softened her hard heart and had come to take the place of that missing mother in her heart, inspiring in Cornelia a deep, powerful love which Mademoiselle had noticed and had returned in her honest, open-hearted way. Fresh sobs arose in the girl at memories of past kindnesses, and more than once her eyes blurred with tears.

Author:  Miss Di [ Thu May 20, 2010 6:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Awww, you made me cry.

Author:  cal562301 [ Thu May 20, 2010 6:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

This is so moving. Thanks for writing it, Bonnie.

Looking forward to the next part.

Author:  Alison H [ Thu May 20, 2010 6:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

This is so moving.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Thu May 20, 2010 8:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Your forgiven Bonnie for writing a third part! :)

Thanks, that was so touching

Author:  Elbee [ Thu May 20, 2010 9:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

This is very moving.

Thank you, Bonnie.

Author:  RroseSelavy [ Thu May 20, 2010 9:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

This is lovely, thanks Bonnie.

Author:  brie [ Thu May 20, 2010 11:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Thanks Bonnie.

Author:  Finn [ Thu May 20, 2010 12:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

I'm glad you've all enjoyed it so far. I really appreciate the comments, and I hope you like the final part.

ETA: Bah! Copied and pasted and missed out the line at the very beginning! Corrected now.

**

When she had finished, Mr Denny’s eyes were filled with compassion.

“Oh, Cornelia,” he said. “Have you told anyone else of this?”

She shook her head. “No. I...I’m not so great at that kinda thing.”

“Can I suggest, then, that you do? It is important to have someone to turn to at a time like this. The worst thing is to try to bear it alone. Perhaps, Matron?”

She nodded, rubbing at her eyes again. “Yeah. Yes, I will. I guess you’re right, though,” she said, “I’m feeling better already, just saying all that.”

He gently squeezed her shoulders. “My child, you must not feel guilt for your grief,” (and Cornelia felt a rush of gratefulness to him at those words), “and you must certainly not be embarrassed to grieve for your loss. Whatever you do, you must not try to hide it and keep it to yourself. That is a sure path to madness. I myself have seen it, when my... when a friend of mine, his brother died. My friend fought his grief and kept it from his comrades, until one day his resolve broke, and he...did something that left him terribly injured. If only he had spoken with his comrades, they might have saved him from such a sad fate.”

He rose and turned away from her, towards the window, and she was surprised at the brittle undertone that had crept into his voice when he spoke again.

“It is the first few days that are the worst, the very worst. You think that at any moment, you will awaken and find that it is not true, that a mistake has been made, and it is someone else that has died. And then the days pass and you find that the pain does not lessen, and you despair of ever feeling again. They lie that say time is a healer. It does not heal, it just makes it easier to forget.” He spoke the last words bitterly, and Cornelia gazed at him, wondering, as he continued softly, “But it will always be there, waiting to catch you. It may be many months before you become used to the idea that...”

“That she is gone,” Cornelia finished for him. “Oh, Mr Denny, I can’t bear to think of her gone!” Fresh tears sprang into her eyes despite her struggles, and he hurried over to her and took her shoulders again, looking into her blue eyes.

“But Cornelia, child, you must not think of her in that way. She may no longer walk among us, but she will always be held in the hearts of everyone that knew her. And though her body may be gone, much of her survives – the best part, perhaps.”

“What’s that?” asked the girl.

“It is the way she has touched lives and the lessons she has left behind. You have a great part of that in you, Cornelia. If, indeed, you were as bad as you say, and this your transformation is thanks to her efforts, then I must say, you are become a credit to her, my child.

Cornelia gulped, and a little warmth trickled into her heart. "Do you mean that, Mr Denny?”

“Certainly I do,” smiled the master. “It seems clear to me that you are part of Mademoiselle’s legacy, and if you continue to practice those lessons she taught you, we will all have cause to be proud of you.

Cornelia flushed red, but those words had caused a mixture of pride and something like determination to creep into her heart, and in the dark and lonely days that followed, the singing master’s words stayed with her and helped her to struggle through, for Mademoiselle’s sake. Eventually, she knew, she would be able to think of the Frenchwoman without grief. It would not happen soon, but eventually it would happen. She dried her tears, and found that she felt she could face the rest of the day with, if not her usual equanimity, then at least a certain amount of balance, shored up by the kind, caring words she had just been hearing.

Seeing the look of resolution on her face and the return of her self-control, Mr Denny glanced at his watch.

“Our time is almost over. Do you feel you can return to lessons? If not, then I can speak to Matron for you.”

But Cornelia shook her head. “No, I’d rather go back to class. I feel a lot better now, anyway. Keeping busy, well, it kinda...”

“Helps you to forget?” he asked, a ghost of a smile on his lips, and she nodded. “Very well, then. And if you leave now, you will have time to go and wash your face before your next lesson,” he suggested.

Cornelia stared at him, and then laughed shakily.

“Guess I must look a real fright!” she said, embarrassed.

“Well,” said Mr Denny, “if you meet anyone, you may tell them that I have been in a frightful temper and shouted at you until you cried.”

Cornelia gaped at him, astonished, and saw his eyes twinkle. She found herself laughing again, and Mr Denny joined in.

As she got up to leave, the singing master handed over her music, which he had gathered up, but as he did so he held back the Debussy.

“This, I think, we need not sing any longer.”

But Cornelia paused.
“Actually, Mr Denny, I’d like to sing it again.”

“Are you quite certain?” he asked, holding out the copy, and she took it from him, saying firmly, “Yes, yes I am.”

She turned to go, but when she reached the door, she turned back and said, quickly,

“Um, Mr Denny?”

He looked up at her.

“Thank you,” she said.

He smiled at her. “There is no need for thanks,” he said simply, and returned to his music.
___________________________________________________________

A week later, Cornelia stood outside the music room door once again. It had been a difficult week; there had been moments when she had felt like her heart and her head would crack open, and other moments where the shock had robbed her of her senses, and she had lost all judgment and control. But all through the week, when things had got bad, her thoughts had turned back to that singing lesson and she had drawn comfort from the memory. Besides, she had taken his advice and had gone to Matron, who had proved to be one of the best listeners she could ever have hoped for. “Matey” had, like Cornelia, known Mademoiselle for many years, and was more than happy to talk about her, so now whenever Cornelia felt herself beginning to break down, she knew she could run up the stairs to the sick room and that a cup of tea and a chat about Mademoiselle made the world seem a much better place.

“Good old Plato,” she thought, as she knocked at the door. “Who’d have thought he could be such a dear?”

Mr Denny was not at the piano this week; Grizel was in attendance, and the singing master was standing by the window, looking out into the gardens. He turned as she entered.

“Ah, Cornelia,” he said, smiling widely. “And how are you today?”

She smiled back, noting that, despite his smile, he was looking at her keenly, but she could honestly reply, “I’m alright, thank you.”

“Good, good,” he said, beaming widely at her, and she noted just a shade of relief in his eyes, and tried not to giggle as he continued, “Well, come in, my little maiden, come to the piano. We shall begin by warming up, and after that, we shall tackle Schubert.”

“Actually,” she said, “if you don’t mind, I’d like to start with the Debussy, please.”

Author:  PaulineS [ Thu May 20, 2010 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Thank you Bonny, i am pleased Mr Denny and Matron could help Corney so well. It was a positive outcome to a negative experience, well done on your first drabble.

Author:  cal562301 [ Thu May 20, 2010 2:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Beautifully written with great understanding of Cornelia and Plato. (Good to see a 'different' side to him.) Though those lines about his 'friend' and the brittleness in his voice made me wonder whether it all was a bit too close to home. Maybe inspiration for your second drabble? :D

Thanks Bonnie.

Author:  Finn [ Thu May 20, 2010 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

Well, funny you should say that, Cal...
:D

Thanks for the comments. I certainly enjoyed writing it; Cornelia is one of my favourite characters, and I'm very fond of Plato too, so it was grand fun even in spite of the sad subject matter.

Author:  cal562301 [ Thu May 20, 2010 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

bonnie wrote:
Well, funny you should say that, Cal...
:D

Thanks for the comments. I certainly enjoyed writing it; Cornelia is one of my favourite characters, and I'm very fond of Plato too, so it was grand fun even in spite of the sad subject matter.


I look forward to reading it! :D

Author:  Chelsea [ Thu May 20, 2010 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

This line is so true:

Quote:
They lie that say time is a healer. It does not heal, it just makes it easier to forget


Corney was lucky to have both Plato and Matey.

Author:  Elbee [ Thu May 20, 2010 4:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson

bonnie wrote:
Well, funny you should say that, Cal...
:D

I look forward to reading it too, there's definitely a story behind Mr Denny's words!

Thanks Bonnie, that was beautifully written.

Author:  Alison H [ Thu May 20, 2010 6:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Thanks Bonnie, that was lovely.

Author:  Finn [ Thu May 20, 2010 8:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

I'm glad it was enjoyed.

Quote:
I look forward to reading it too


Well, I'm afraid it may be a little while before that particular drabble surfaces, but you'll see it when it does!

Author:  La Petite Em [ Thu May 20, 2010 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Thank you so much Bonnie, that was a lovely, bittersweet read. It was really interesting to see Cornelia's grieving and see how much Mdlle meant to her. In the books, it's another thing we're told rather than shown.

Author:  Abi [ Thu May 20, 2010 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

That was beautiful; thanks bonnie!

Author:  Miss Di [ Fri May 21, 2010 4:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

That was beautifully done, thank you.

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri May 21, 2010 7:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

That was such a poignant and touching drabble, and so well written that it was truly heartfelt. Thankyou.

Author:  JellySheep [ Fri May 21, 2010 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

This has been so moving, and such a lovely portrayal of the characters. I would like a RL version of Mr Denny! (Though it sounds he may be hinting that his friend was more than that?) I would definitely be interested if you were to write the back-story.

Author:  Chris S [ Fri May 21, 2010 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Bonny, I now have a lump in my throat. I was in that room with the two of them. It was a beautifully written story. Thank you.

Author:  Fiona Mc [ Sat May 22, 2010 1:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Plato was so lovely there. Thank you Bonnie

Author:  Finn [ Sun May 23, 2010 10:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

How lovely you all are! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've really appreciated all the feedback, as I take writing reasonably seriously and like to know that I've managed to get my ideas across! Thanks, everybody.

Author:  Karoline [ Sun May 23, 2010 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

That was lovely Bonnie, thank you

Author:  mohini [ Tue May 25, 2010 11:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Thanks Bonnie. It was lovely.It brought tears into my eyes.

Author:  JS [ Tue May 25, 2010 11:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

I have a tear in my eye too - thanks Bonnie, that was lovely.

Author:  jmc [ Thu May 27, 2010 8:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Thanks Bonnie. Have finally managed to read this and have tears in my eyes. Beautiful.

Author:  Emma A [ Thu May 27, 2010 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

That was lovely, Bonnie, and so well-expressed.

Thank-you.

Author:  keren [ Thu May 27, 2010 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Vrey moving and choking

Author:  shazwales [ Thu May 27, 2010 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Only just read this Bonnie,thank you it was beautiful.

Author:  Finn [ Thu May 27, 2010 11:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Oh dear - I feel guilty now for causing tears! I'm so happy that this tale has been enjoyed - it was an idea that just came to me while waiting for the kettle to boil, so I'm glad I was able to entertain people with it.

I'm also a bit drunk, so may I just add that I lvoe yuo allll, youyr my beshtest friesnd... :mrgreen: :kiss:




(Sorry)

Author:  Nightwing [ Tue Jun 01, 2010 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Really enjoyed this, bonnie! it was touching, and I always love reading about Cornelia :D

Author:  Kathy_S [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 1:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

Thank you, Bonnie.
Very sad, but -- what a lovely Mr. Denny. :)

Author:  Pado [ Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

This was lovely. I have tears in my eyes still. Thanks, and looking forward to more of your work!

Author:  wheelchairprincess [ Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cornelia's Singing Lesson - Complete

I love the interaction between Cornelia and Mr Denny in this. Going to start reading your other drabbles now (very glad I hunted this down when I saw it mentioned)

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