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| A Moment of Carelessness - complete http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=6664 |
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| Author: | ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
The morning was bright and sunny, and Charles sat up in bed with a contented sigh at life. It was a beautiful day, and Rösli had promised that if it was fine weather they could have a picnic in the woods. Charles loved going to the woods, and getting to run around getting messy with Mike, playing at police and thieves or something similar. If they were really lucky, Anna might even let them take lemonade, one of Charles’ favourite drinks. Truly, a small boy couldn’t ask more from life. Very carefully he selected his clothes for the day. Mama was always very particular about what he wore, for she said that young boys must always look smart, but if they were going for a picnic he didn’t want to wear anything too smart and be told that he must be careful. In the end, he selected an old grey jumper which he was starting to grow out of, and which had a hole in one arm so far overlooked. To that he added a pair of black trousers which hopefully wouldn’t stain as badly. Next he brushed through his hair, careful to keep his parting as neat as possible, just as Mama always demanded. The silky locks fell back neatly into place, framing his delicate face, with it’s straight cut chin and large, sad eyes neatly. He smiled at himself, satisfied that he was as tidy as he could possibly be. When Mama wasn’t here – she had gone to visit Margot in hospital – he was trusted to dress himself so that Rösli could look after the twins and Mike. Feeling very responsible and proud of himself, he dropped to his knees to say his prayers, murmuring the words devoutly. He loved the sound of them, the feel of them, and he especially loved the feeling of contentment and happiness which spread through him as he spoke, a kind of calm that he couldn’t find anywhere else in life. Once he had finished, he stood up slowly and looked around, wondering what to do. There was still ten minutes until the bell would ring for breakfast, and he was bored. Part of him was tempted to go and find Mike, to try and help if he could, but he also felt an overwhelming urge to go and see the Little Flower. In the end, this won through, and creeping as stealthily as possible – for he knew that he was forbidden from doing this – he made his way down the corridor to Mama’s room. Biting his lips in his anxiety to be quiet, he gently slid the door to her bedroom open, slipping around it as soon as he could. It shut again with the gentlest of clicks, and he was alone. The room was silent, even Anna’s singing as she prepared the food not floating up, and it seemed almost perfect to an overawed Charles. The white bed spread was made perfectly, so that not a single crease could be seen, and it was tucked with precision into each of the corners. Everything had it’s place, and it was bathed with a light so soothing that for a minute Charles simply stood looking around in awe. It was so peaceful that he almost loathed to move, but very slowly he pulled over the stool in the corner, which Joey kept for reaching the top of the wardrobe. He positioned it directly underneath the statue of the Little Flower, then, using the wall as a support, pulled himself up carefully. His balance was a little precarious, but he had done this many times before when Joey was there, and he felt sure enough of himself to reach out and stroke the smooth porcelain face of St. Therese. One evening, Joey had sat him down and told him the story of St. Therese and after that he had insisted on the daily ritual of coming to kiss her good morning. Today was no different, so far as he could see, just because of Mama’s absence – she trusted him to do it usually. And so he stretched up, and placed his lips gently against the cold, white china, one hand clutching at the edge of the desk while his other tipped the Little Flower just a little towards him. When he had climbed up to her, she seemed to be smiling down on him, and even as he tipped her back again and started to let go she looked so serene and peaceful, as if she could have no idea of what fate was to befall her. For Charles had lost himself in the warmth she seemed to give out just by being there, and with an indescribable horror he felt his foot slip off of the edge of the stool. As he tumbled, he felt his head catch the side of the desk badly, so that he almost cried out, but somehow he restrained himself. He couldn’t possibly be caught in here now. Scattered around him was the once beautiful face of the Little Flower, a small smile still lingering around the eye which had fallen into his lap as he crashed to the floor. |
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| Author: | Emma A [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
Aaah. Poor Charles. |
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| Author: | cestina [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
Oh that's very nice, thank you  - but good heavens, is she really a statue of St Therese? All these years I have been imagining a little Japanese figurine!Like when I was at school I always thought that when we prayed for "our settlement in the East" it was in India or somewhere. I was deeply disappointed to find it was in Bethnal Green 
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| Author: | ChubbyMonkey [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
cestina wrote: ...but good heavens, is she really a statue of St Therese? All these years I have been imagining a little Japanese figurine! I thought that she was, but please correct me if I'm wrong somebody! |
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| Author: | abbeybufo [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
I'm sure it says somewhere later on that it's a statue of St Therese that Charles had broken, Ariel. And she was certainly called the 'Little Flower.' But I always think of Rumer Godden's 'Miss Happiness and Miss Flower' - who were, I think, Japanese dolls, cestina, so I can understand the connection you made. |
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| Author: | ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
As the horror of what he had done crashed over him, Charles felt tears stinging his eyes, but he rubbed at them quickly. He would have to go downstairs for breakfast in a minute, and he didn’t want Rösli to ask questions. Taking a deep breath to gather himself together, he began to collect the pieces, lying them gently on the table by the window where she had sat so happily until today. Then, making sure that everything else was as it should be, he pulled the stool back and slipped out of the room. That day was a horrible one for Charles, who couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone what he’d done. He sat listlessly through breakfast, playing with his food more than eating it, and when Rösli told him that if he didn’t make a good meal he wouldn’t be able to come on the picnic, he replied dolefully that he didn’t feel well. This was completely true; his head, where he had banged it, ached constantly, and every time he chewed it sent spears of pain through him. His guilty conscience wore him down, and it was only the presence of Mike, who he knew would be scornful about it later on, that stopped him from bursting into tears and demanding to see Mama straight away. Once breakfast was over, Rösli consulted Anna and then told Charles that he could stay at home if he wished today. He had been looking forwards to his picnic, but he knew that if Mama was here she would say that he didn’t deserve it anyway, and so he nodded sadly. In any case, it was a relief to rest his hot head against the soft pillows and snuggle back under his duvet. Anna, who had elected to look after him so that the rest of the party could still go, brought him up a beaker of water in case he got thirsty, and told him that she would come and check on him regularly. Then, tucking him up in a motherly fashion that nearly made him weep again, she left to get on with her chores. A little while later he heard Mike’s delighted tones as they set out for the woods. He was in his pyjamas now, but he sat up and watched them go, a loneliness taking hold of his heart. But there was nothing that he could do until Mama came back, and when she did he would tell her straight away, so that she mightn’t be too cross with him. But, oh, how she loved her statue, and she had looked after it so well, and now he had broken it. Surely she could never forgive him? After that, he cried gently for a long time. He couldn’t bear to cry properly for the slightest movement made his head ache so badly, but when he thought of the statue lying, shattered on the table, he couldn’t stop himself. At lunchtime, Anna brought him a lightly boiled egg and some buttered bread, and exclaimed at the tears which had dried on his cheeks, but he shook his head. Nobody but Mama must know what he had done. Luckily, it was Joey’s custom to keep her and Jack’s room clean, so that none of the staff thought of venturing in there while she was away. Besides, it was Beth’s day off and so Anna had been left to clean the house alone, a herculean task. Charles listened anxiously, but nobody came to ask him what had happened to the Little Flower, and he said nothing about it. When the picnickers came back, worn out by their excursions but happy all the same, Mike came to find Charles, leading Beth by the hand. She had come back early, having completed her shopping, and had been promptly grabbed by her unruly charge and told that Charles was ill and she must read to them. She acquiesced cheerfully enough, for she had planned nothing else which couldn’t wait, although she pulled a face when she saw the gory story Mike had chosen. But Charles made no complaint about it – in fact, he barely listened, his mind preoccupied with when Mama would return – and soon enough Mike grew bored and left him alone. He didn’t know that Len and Con had accompanied the rest on their picnic, but when Len appeared with his dinner, he smiled wanly at her. His head felt no better, and he was pale with deep shadows ringing his eyes. All the same, he ate a little, and got out of her a time for Joey and Jack returning. Then all that remained was to convince Anna to let him stay up for the event, for he was determined to tell Joey tonight, before she could find the damage for herself. For once, Anna, thinking he simply felt ill, was quite gentle on the subject, and as she bent over to tuck him in she promised that he could get up to see them if he was still awake. The next second, he caught the hum of a motor car on the drive, and sat up, demanding to be let out of bed. Never one to break a promise if she could help it, Anna helped him into his dressing gown and slippers and told him he could wait at the top of the stairs. He took his position with a heavy heart, wondering what Mama would say about his misbehaviour. |
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| Author: | shazwales [ Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
Aaah this is lovely thank you. |
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| Author: | Lyanne [ Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
Poor little boy, his head must hurt so much, but not as much as his heart does at the moment. |
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| Author: | shesings [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
This is lovely, chubbymonkey! I've always felt so sorry for poor little Charles knowing he had broken something his mother cherished and having to wait so long to confess. |
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| Author: | JS [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
Poor wee lamb - and him being so good and thoughtful about getting dressed etc. *hugs Charles* |
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| Author: | Smile :) [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
Poor Charles what a shame for him having to wait the whole day to confess  Thanks Chubby Monkey. |
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| Author: | ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness |
This is why, as a general rule, I don't write late at night! - X - The next morning dawned as fine as the proceeding one, but this time Charles didn’t jump out of bed, heart full of optimism about the coming day. Instead he crawled out, weighed down by the heavy guilt which lingered at the back of his mind. He knew that God had forgiven him, and Mama, but now he had to tell his father, and of him Charles stood in much awe. The younger children didn’t have a lot to do with Jack. By the time he got home from work most nights they were already asleep, and even when he could call a weekend his own he was usually kept busy with paperwork. In fact, until they were old enough to sit at the table for meals instead of having them in the Nursery, the children knew comparatively little about their father, except that he was a stern disciplinarian. Very slowly, Charles pulled off his pyjamas, hoping against hope that if he just went slowly enough time would slow with him, and he could put off his awful task. Today he didn’t feel proud of being trusted to dress himself – he would never be trusted again – it just felt as if Mama was avoiding him because of what he’d done. Very gingerly he brushed out his hair, wincing as the brush slid over the painful bruise on the back of his head. Once he was sure he was as tidy as he could be, and had said his prayers earnestly, he bit his lip but made his way out of his bedroom tentatively. He wasn’t sure if Mama would have told anyone else about what had happened, and so he entered the nursery for breakfast rather timidly, but Rösli greeted him as she normally did. If he ate less than usual, it was put down to his illness of the day before, and nobody said anything. Once that was done, Joey came upstairs and called him away. For this small mercy he was unspeakably grateful, for he wasn’t sure that he could have made the walk alone, and there was still trepidation in his steps despite her comforting presence with him. But as scared as he felt, he knew that he must take his punishment, for he had disobeyed a strict order in going into Mama’s room and now he must pay for it. Joey stopped him at the bottom of the stairs and wordlessly hugged him. This simple gesture brought tears to his eyes, but he blinked them away resolutely and walked the rest of his journey alone. With a heavy heart he tapped on the office door, not knowing just what would be in store for him this time. But Jack had no mind to let him off lightly, and he was forced to stand, shuffling from one foot to the other, for nearly a minute before he was called in. The room was still as light and airy as at any other time, and birdsong still floated through the window from outside, but to Charles it all seemed so imposing, especially when he raised the courage to glance up at his father’s face. It was set and heavy, inexplicably lined, but his mouth was a thin, angry line and what little control Charles had deserted him then. “Come here,” said Jack gravely, and Charles reluctantly made his way to stand in front of him, unable to stop his hands shaking. Inwardly he was vowing to never, ever get into trouble again no matter what. “What happened yesterday?” “I – I just wanted to say good morning to her – she is so pretty! And I leaned up to kiss her and – and then I fell backwards and – and –“ “And you broke something very precious through your deliberate disobedience.” “I’m sorry,” whispered Charles, voice quivering. A tear slid slowly down his pale cheek, tickling him, but he couldn’t even lean up and brush it away he was so frozen with shame. If he had known, when he thought about going to see the Little Flower, that he would hurt Mama this much, and get into so much trouble, he would never, ever have done it. Jack must have sensed his feelings, for his tones were much gentler as he said quietly, “Well, what’s done is done, and it can’t be undone now. Did you hurt yourself at all?” “I banged my head a little,” said Charles reluctantly. Slowly he climbed up on to Jack’s lap and showed him the bruise darkening his skin underneath the silky hair. After he’d examined it, his father set him down and went to fetch a bowl of soothingly cold water and a flannel, so that he could dab gently at the area and help to ease the pain a little. “Well, little man,” he said once he’d finished and set the bowl to one side. “You certainly seem to have punished yourself this time. Anna told me that you missed your picnic yesterday, and I don’t need to tell you what you’ve done. We’ll say no more about it now.” “Promise?” whispered Charles hopefully. “Promise,” said Jack solemnly, ruffling his son’s hair slightly. “Now run away! My paperwork won’t do itself.” Charles scampered off as he had been bidden, but if he was happier after the interview he still wasn’t free from all his guilt. For the next few days he stayed quietly in his room for the most part, claiming that his head still ached if anybody questioned him, but after that nature reasserted itself and he began to bounce back. But he would never forget what his wilful disobedience had done, and if he ever saw Joey looking wistful it would come back to him and flood him with shame once again. Not that it stopped him getting into a scrape with Mike the very next week. |
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| Author: | Nightwing [ Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Wonderful, ChubbyMonkey! Your Jack and Joey are always so lovely. And poor Charles! Sometimes living with the guilt afterward can be the hardest thing
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| Author: | Abi [ Tue Oct 06, 2009 9:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Just read all of this, Ariel. Charles is so sweet, thanks! |
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| Author: | shazwales [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Thanks Ariel really enjoyed that. |
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| Author: | JS [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Glad that your Jack tempers justice with mercy, Ariel. Thanks
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| Author: | leahbelle [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Lovely, Ariel. Poor little Charles! |
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| Author: | abbeybufo [ Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Thanks, Ariel - very touching - you really get into Charles's skin 
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| Author: | Smile :) [ Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Nice to see that jack didn't get too angry. |
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| Author: | Chris S [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Thanks ChubbyMonkey, that was lovely. |
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| Author: | Fiona Mc [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: A Moment of Carelessness - complete |
Poor Charles. He did feel so awful for it. Glad Jack was understanding about it all |
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