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Leaving Guernsey Updated (At last!) 31.10
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Author:  Cath V-P [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Leaving Guernsey Updated (At last!) 31.10
This is a short(ish) story set around the events at the start of "Goes To It." It takes place before the start of "A Single Diamond." I hope you enjoy it.

Apart from the ticking of the clock, the room was silent. The two women - Hilda seated at her desk, Nell standing near the window at the edge of the circle of light cast by the lamp – were very still as the quietness that enveloped them grew increasingly and ominously tense. A gust of wind suddenly rattled the branches of the climbing rose against the window frame and there was a faint cry from some small creature of the night intent on its own lawful concerns, but neither woman seemed to notice. Hilda’s attention was fixed unwaveringly on Nell whose face was veiled in darkness, although her rigid stance was unmistakeable; finally she turned from her seeming contemplation of the shadowy corners of the room and spoke, her voice a thin thread of shocked amazement.
“You are joking, aren’t you Hilda?” The brown-haired woman sitting behind her desk eyed the speaker for a long moment before replying.
“I assure you Nell, that I am completely serious.” She was rewarded with a look of utter disbelief, and her features hardened with determination as Nell shook her head vehemently, her hands tightly clenched at her sides and the beginnings of anger apparent in her eyes.
“I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous, Hilda! It isn’t worth considering – can’t you see that? It – it isn’t even sensible!” Hilda folded her hands together on the desk and lifted her head a little higher as she stared at Nell. Her mouth tightened a little; she had not expected that Nell would accept this without demur – had their positions been reversed, she would have reacted just as Nell had - but she had hoped that they could reach some sort of understanding without argument.
“I’m sorry, Nell, but I’ve made my decision about this,” she said softly, but with a certain steely inflection hardening her voice. Nell glared at her, her grey eyes defiant and more than a little hurt.
“Well I’m not going, and that’s final. My job is here – not running off to England for no apparent reason. I can understand that Jo is anxious to get away with the babies, but -”
“And you are going with them!” Nell ran her fingers through her white hair in exasperation and sighed impatiently.
“Hilda, this is silly, and I’m not going to discuss it any further. I repeat, I am not leaving!” Hilda stood up, drawing herself to her full height, her eyes sparkling icily, as she fixed Nell with an unyielding stare.
“I was not aware that we were discussing anything; I informed you of my decision, and your job is to carry it out.”
Author:  Frogize [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 1:32 pm ]
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Never thought of Hilda and Nell disagreeing over anything! More please!
Author:  Jennie [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 1:37 pm ]
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Highly intriguing.
Author:  Squirrel [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 1:47 pm ]
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Ooooh! Are we in for a battle royal? I wonder what Hilda has up her sleeve!

Thanks Cath.
Author:  Alison H [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 2:11 pm ]
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Thinking about it, it was quite weird that Nell made the crossing with Joey and Frieda before the School en masse moved to the mainland.

Thanks Cath :D .
Author:  Lesley [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 2:25 pm ]
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Not really - the danger to Nell was far greater than to any of the other adults - she would already have been on the Gestapo's list of people to be detained. I'm only surprised that Robin and Daisy were nor sent with them as they would also have been on the list, and Corney, though I expect she was thought protected as she was American.

Nell's not going to win this one. :lol:


Thanks Cath.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 2:52 pm ]
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It looks as if Hilda's last words have just averted a battle royal there - don't think even Nell will disobey a direct order from Hilda at her stateliest, no matter how much it goes against her natural inclination to stay with the school and help with the general evacuation. And of course she was in more danger from a possible Nazi invasion of Guernsey than the other adults involved with the school. It stands to reason that she would have to leave at the earliest opportunity.

Thanks, Cath - this looks intriguing. Will look forward to more.
Author:  MaryR [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:34 pm ]
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But of course Nell wouldn't want to go - that would mean leaving Hilda to cope alone. And Hilda knows exactly what she is thinking, as she would have felt the same.

But, as she says, on this she is determined, as she knows EXACTLY how much danger Nell would be in if the Nazis arrrived. Like elephants, they never forgot. :cry: And also she has in mind jsut what Nell went through at their hands. She's not about to have that happen again to her loved one - there would be no escape a second time.

Thanks, Cath.
Author:  Rob [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:41 pm ]
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Interesting disagreement, but completely understandable.

This is before Hilda and Nell become co-heads, so certainly can't see Nell disagreeing. I just hope that Hilda has told Nell she must leave for her own safety and not made up some excuse about someone looking over Plas Howell as that might make Nell feel she is no longer trusted with the girls after the episode in Spatz.

Will be interesting to see how Hilda manages to convince her. Thanks Cath.
Author:  jonty [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 5:29 pm ]
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Coo, that Hilda can be one scary lady when she puts her mind to it! This is probably the most inappropriate comparison in the history of Chalet fandom, but for a moment there I suddenly saw Hilda and Nell as Cagney and Lacey. :lol: :lol: I feel another crossover coming on!

Thanks, Cath.
Author:  Lizzie [ Sun Aug 12, 2007 6:36 pm ]
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jonty wrote:
This is probably the most inappropriate comparison in the history of Chalet fandom, but for a moment there I suddenly saw Hilda and Nell as Cagney and Lacey. :lol: :lol: I feel another crossover coming on!


Oh Jonty. Please write that, that would be AMAZING.

This is really interesting, Cath, looking forward to more...
Author:  leahbelle [ Wed Aug 15, 2007 1:19 pm ]
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Thanks, Cath.
Author:  calico [ Sun Aug 19, 2007 9:03 am ]
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Thanks Cath
This looks fascinating.
Author:  Tara [ Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:52 pm ]
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I truly thought I'd commented on this, but it appears I haven't (or only mentally!)! Sorry, Cath, a serious senior moment. :oops:
What struck me was that Nell is hurt as well as angry at being shipped out of the way. Hilda must win the argument, of course, but I'm sure she will be able both to make Nell see sense, and to comfort her.
Hope RL calms down enough for you to continue with this soon, Cath.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:35 am ]
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Sorry about the inordinate length of time I've taken about an update, but RL has been hectic. I did and do appreciate all your comments.

Nell’s face grew mutinous and she glared furiously at Hilda who had moved around the desk towards her.
“Damn it, woman, don’t you try and pull rank on me! I might only be your Deputy, but I still have a certain right of refusal round here - or have you decided that you want to do away with that?” Hilda winced at the throbbing anger in Nell’s tones, and her lovely eyes darkened in pain.
“Don’t, Nell,” she said very quietly. Her voice suddenly shook a little. “Please don’t fight me.” Nell drew a deep breath, forcing down her not inconsiderable anger and tried to speak reasonably.
“Hilda, for heaven’s sake, be sensible: how can you deal with everything that needs to be done by yourself? This is my job - and you’re sending me away from it. I need to be here, with you; moving a school, especially at a moment’s notice takes a lot of organization -” Hilda broke in, the words tumbling over themselves as she tried to make Nell see the reasons behind this decision.
“Don’t you understand, Nell? Just what do you think will happen if they get here before we’re gone? I think we can protect the girls – and of course, Jeanne and Evadne and Hilary never returned to us. Maria Marani isn’t here any more either. Yes, we have Cornelia, but she’s American and underage, so I don’t think there is a problem with her. But you and Jo are vulnerable – especially you.”
“But -”
“Nell, I couldn’t bear to endure that again. It’s going to be hard enough watching you go now – but at least I’ll know that you’re safe. Please, please do as Nigel and Jem suggest, and go with Jo and Frieda and the babies. They’ll need you -.”
“And you don’t?” Hilda whitened at the low-voiced query, and was silent for a moment, unable to ignore the pain that lanced through her.
“That was unfair, Nell,” she whispered finally. “You know I’ll always need you.” She turned her head away, but not before Nell had glimpsed the anguish in her eyes. Shocked by the effect of her hasty words, a remorseful Nell put her arms round Hilda and held her close for a moment.
“I’m sorry, my love. That was unworthy of both of us – it’s just that things seem to go wrong when we’re not together, and I shall be so worried about you here.” Hilda leaned her head against Nell, drawing the comfort from her presence that she always did.
“It’s the worst part of it, isn’t it?” she asked eventually. “Not knowing where you are, or what’s happening. God knows, I don’t want you to leave without me, but at least if the worst happens here, I shall know that you are safe.” Nell was quiet, gnawing her lower lip, and Hilda looked at her. “Please, Nell?” she said beseechingly, and Nell sighed.
“I suppose you’ll give me no peace until I agree, will you?” Hilda smiled wanly.
“Absolutely none.”
“And you promise me that you’ll be careful too?” Hilda nodded, and Nell frowned, her grey eyes dark and unhappy.
“Alright, I agree,” she said reluctantly. Hilda sighed with relief and Nell held her closer, not wanting to let her go. “I’d only do this for you, sweetheart,” she murmured. “And every second that I’m away from you will be unbearable.” Her chin lifted and staring into Hilda’s eyes, she spoke resolutely. “But there is one thing I want to say: when we’re together in England again, then we stay together. No more separations.” Hilda nodded, and touched Nell’s cheek lovingly.
“Yes,” she said unsteadily. “We’ll always be together.” Her mouth trembled and with a small choked sob of thankfulness, she clung to her beloved Nell, who kissed her gently.
“I love you,” Nell whispered. “Always and forever, dear one. And I am so fortunate to be with you.” She stared into Hilda’s eyes, still diamond bright with the sheen of tears. “Try not to worry, although I know it’s hard not to.”
“Then you must promise not to worry too,” replied Hilda, swallowing. “We’ll be leaving very soon, I promise.”
“I wish it could be tomorrow for you too,” said Nell sadly. They stood in silence for a few moments more, then Nell reluctantly released Hilda and turned towards the door.
“I suppose I’d better go and pack,” she said quietly. “I won’t be able to take much with me, but if I leave it ready -”
“I’ll see that everything comes with us,” said Hilda at once. The memory of the terrible and hurried departure form Austria returned to her, and gazing into Nell’s eyes she knew that she was being haunted by the same thoughts. “This time it’s different,” she said urgently. Nell nodded, her mouth compressed as she fought against the bitter memories stirring within her.
“You’d better tell Jem that I’ve agreed,” she said abruptly. “I’ll go and start my packing.”
“I’ll be with you in about ten minutes,” said Hilda, moving back to the desk and sitting down again. She watched as Nell made her way slowly out of the room, then suddenly shivered, covering her mouth with her hands and sobbing tearlessly. Nell’s anger and grief had been so very hard to withstand, even though she knew she was right to do so. “She has to go,” she murmured. “She’s too precious to risk – but, dear heaven, I wish I hadn’t had to force her like that.” She sat for a few minutes more, praying for the strength and courage to support them both through the next difficult hours and days. Then she telephoned Jem to make the necessary arrangements for the next morning and went to seek out Nell.
Author:  Rosalin [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:50 am ]
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Oh, that was so difficult for both of them :cry: But Hilda was right to want Nell out, the last thing they need is the Gestapo catching up with her. I'm also glad she went for Frieda's sake. Given how much use(!) Joey was, if Nell hadn't gone Frieda would have had to deal with three babies more or less alone.

Thanks Cath, hope RL has calmed down now.
Author:  Squirrel [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:52 am ]
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Oh OUCH! Poor Hilda, that was an awful thing to have to do. Poor Nell, so longing to be firm and stay put until they can all come to safety together, but knowing that she must give in. And Poor you Cath. That must have been so hard to write. You can so understand everything that went on there. And how clear it makes their devotion to each other.

Thanks Cath.
Author:  Alison H [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:21 pm ]
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Thanks for the update :D .
Author:  Fiona Mc [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:40 pm ]
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Poor Hilda. Am glad Nell saw sense with it all. Thanks Cath
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:19 pm ]
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Oh dear - Hilda really did have to be 'cruel to be kind' there, didn't she? But there is no escaping the fact that Nell's life would be in grave danger if she was still on Guernsey when the Nazis arrived and Hilda absolutely had to insist that she agree to cross with Joey and the triplets, however hard she might argue against doing so, even at the risk to her own safety.

Once again, this is a vivid testament to the love each feels for the other , that Nell was so reluctant to leave Hilda to take full responsibility for closing the school and arranging the move - but it had to be. Yes, the short term will be hard on both of them, but the promise of the longer term, when they will both be together in England, will sustain them in the meantime.

Thanks for the update, Cath.
Author:  Identity Hunt [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:26 pm ]
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Thank you, Cath !
Author:  Elbee [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:43 pm ]
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I'm so glad that Nell agreed in the end but that must be so difficult for them both.

Thanks Cath.
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:44 pm ]
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Quote:
"Damn it, woman, don’t you try and pull rank on me! I might only be your Deputy, but I still have a certain right of refusal round here - or have you decided that you want to do away with that?”

Not fair, Nell, not fair! :cry: And in your heart you know it. She's only thinking of you - and herself, if she should lose you! :cry:

Quote:
“But there is one thing I want to say: when we’re together in England again, then we stay together. No more separations.”

Oh, she'll agree to that, Nell. It's what she wants. She's terrified for you, will do anything to get you off that island. And this separation will only reinforce your love, make you even more ready to treasure what you have both found.

I want to hold Hilda till the pain leaves her eyes. :cry:

Thanks, Cath
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:58 pm ]
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((((Hilda))))

Very difficult for her but she had to force Nell to accept. Can understand Nell not wanting to go though..


Thanks Cath.
Author:  linda [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:37 pm ]
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Poor Hilda and poor Nell. :( :( They so desperately want to be together, but even Nell eventually realises that she can't wait for Hilda and the rest to be ready. If Jo has to go now, so does Nell for exactly the same reason.

Hilda must have found it so hard to insist. She won't be happy until they are both safely back in England.

Thanks Cath
Author:  Tara [ Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:50 pm ]
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I logged on shouting 'yay', for I was monstrous happy to see you'd updated, but, oh, the pain in that post! Of course the situation is different this time, but it must feel like such a re-run of their worst nightmares. Nell has to relive all the dropping of everything and running (not to mention leaving Hilda to cope with a major evacuation on her own), Hilda has to cope yet again with not knowing what is happening to Nell (and they have a dangerous journey in front of them). And in their anguish, they're hurting each other ...
It's a comfort that the strength of their love carries them through, but I don't want them to be apart for a minute they don't have to be. Hurry up and go to Nell, Hilda.
The assurances of this being the end of their separation are lovely.

Thank you, Cath.
Author:  Cath V-P [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:01 am ]
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Well, I didn't intend this large break between posts, but then I didn't intend to be ill either! I'm finally starting to feel a lot better and am even capable of a little writing... so here at least is the next section! Enjoy!

As she had expected, she found Nell in her room, rapidly sorting out the contents of her drawers and cupboard. A small suitcase lay open on the floor, and Nell was filling it with the things that she wanted to take with her the next morning. As Hilda peeped round the door, Nell picked up the photograph of Cherry that always stood on top of the chest of drawers and touched the smiling face with a gentle finger. Then she put the photograph into the case, and turned to Hilda.
“At least this time I have the chance to do my packing properly,” she said wryly.
“Don’t worry,” Hilda replied, resolutely ignoring the remembrance of Gwynneth and herself frantically sorting through Nell’s possessions for all the things that she valued during that last terrifying night in Austria. “I’ll see that everything is in good order for both of us. Where shall I send your trunk – home or Plas Howell?” Nell thought for a moment.
“Home I think, don’t you? After all, we don’t know just when the new term will start, and I’ll want more of my clothes at home than I can take tomorrow.” Hilda nodded.
“Leave it to me Nell, and don’t worry.” She perched herself on the arm of the chair, and scrutinised Nell for a moment. “I talked to Jem,” she said gently. “Nigel Willoughby will be sailing on the morning tide, so he wants you down at his boat by eleven o’clock.” Nell was suddenly still for a moment.
“I see,” she said quietly.
“Julian Lucy will be here at about ten o’clock for you,” Hilda continued. “Jem will be collecting Joey and the babies, and they’ll meet you at the boat.” For a moment, Nell said nothing, but mechanically continued to sort through her clothes.
“Thank you, Hilda,” she said, then stopped, biting her lip nervously and rubbing the tips of her fingers together in a nervous little gesture. Without a word, Hilda leaned forward and enfolded Nell’s hands between her own, holding them tightly.
“It will be alright, Nell,” she murmured. “Please believe that.” She felt Nell’s hands relax, and saw a little of the tension leave her face. “I’m going to do my usual dormitory check, and see that everything is secure for the night,” she said quietly and stood up. “I’ll be back soon.” Nell looked at her.
“I’ll come with you,” she said reaching for the cardigan flung over the back of the chair. “If you don’t mind, that is,” she added uncertainly. Hilda smiled.
“I think that’s an excellent idea,” she replied leading the way out of the room.

By now it was late and the house was in darkness. The girls’ rooms were as quiet as they should be at this hour; even the seniors were peacefully asleep apart from Yvette Mercier who was rather prone to vivid dreams and sleepwalking, despite all the calming hot milk that Matron Lloyd gave her at supper, and was muttering in her sleep as usual. Finally they reached the small room belonging to the Head Girl, Cornelia Flower and were not unduly surprised to see a thin line of light under the door. Ever since the incident with the German aircraft last term, Cornelia had sometimes found sleep difficult, and had permission to read quietly at night on these occasions. Evidently the upheaval caused by having to move the school again had upset her; Hilda paused, wondering whether to go in – Cornelia rather preferred to settle herself if she could and Hilda and Nell both respected her wishes, although Gwynneth Lloyd was a little doubtful about this.
“Shall we speak to Cornelia now?” asked Hilda quietly. Nell thought for a moment, then shook her head.
“Not tonight, Hilda,” she murmured. “It would only worry her. Let her have a peaceful night – or as peaceful as she can, at least.” Hilda nodded and linked her arm through Nell’s as they turned away down the darkened corridor.
Ten minutes later found them both in the main hall; Hilda was about to turn the key, locking the front door for the night when Nell suddenly said,
“Wait a moment, Hilda,” and opened the door wide allowing the cold breeze of early spring into the hall. For a moment, she stood silent in the doorway, and then stepped outside to stand at the top of the steps gazing up at the sky. Silently, Hilda joined her and they stood together with hands clasped as the wind increased and the clouds began to thicken steadily, obscuring the moon.
“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” whispered Nell finally. Hilda squeezed her hand and Nell turned to her, a loving smile illuminating her face. “Dear Hilda,” she whispered, touching Hilda’s mouth with gentle fingers. She stood there for a few moments more, then she turned and went inside, shivering a little. Hilda followed her, pausing only to lock the door.
“I must return the keys to the study,” she said. “Don’t wait for me.” Nell nodded.
“I think I’ll go and have a bath,” she answered. “It might help me sleep.” She crossed to the stairs, and Hilda watched until she was out of sight, then swung round in the direction of the study.
Author:  Alison H [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:15 am ]
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Good to see this back. Hope you're feeling better, Cath.
Author:  MaryR [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:04 pm ]
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Such a quiet and peaceful section, for all Nell's hatred of leaving and for all Hilda's fear for Nell, and her worries about the girls. They know what they feel for each other, and know that love will go on, no matter what happens before they meet again.

Thank you, Cath - nice to have you back. :D
Author:  Elbee [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:41 pm ]
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Lovely to see more of this, thanks Cath, it's very moving.
Author:  Mona [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:06 pm ]
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That's a beautiful scene Cath. Thanks!
Author:  Jennie [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:09 pm ]
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Thanks, Cath.
Author:  Elder in Ontario [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:36 pm ]
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A lovely portrait of 'the calm of the night', and a memorable oasis before the chaos which is to come. It's good to see that Nell, however unwillingly, has accepted the inevitability of the fact that she must leave Guernsey ahead of Hilda and the rest of the school - I loved her wry comment about having more time to pack this time round!

But what stands out head and shoulders above everything, of course, is the security which she and Hilda feel in their feelings for each other, knowledge which will buoy them up, both in the next few days and for the forseeable future.

Thanks Cath - I'm glad to see this -and yourself - back here again and pleased that you are feeling better. Will look forward to future instalments.
Author:  Squirrel [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:04 pm ]
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That was a lovely post - so serene in the midsts of the difficulties - taking account of the practicalities, and letting them rest there. The care that the two women have for each other, and their charges, really comes out here.

Thanks Cath.
Author:  Lesley [ Wed Oct 31, 2007 7:53 pm ]
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Good to see more of this Cath - hope you are fully recovered.



Thank you.
Author:  Kathy_S [ Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:12 am ]
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Welcome back, Cath.:D
(and Hilda & Nell)

Glad to hear you're at least somewhat recovered -- and hope it's more than somewhat.
Author:  Miss Di [ Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:46 am ]
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I like this Cath! Very moving and I can see that it is what must have occured.
Author:  Tara [ Fri Nov 02, 2007 12:48 am ]
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How lovely to have you (and this) back, Cath. Hope you're very much stronger and will continue to flourish.

There was so much in that section, memories of the terrifying past, fears for the immediate future (and, of course, the trip was not uneventful!), all overlaid by so much love and acceptance and a warm sort of domesticity. Nell's caressing of Cherry's photo was touching - and the fact that she still had it was a testimony to Hilda and Gwynneth's efforts in Austria.
I loved seeing Hilda and Nell watching over their girls together, loved their sensitivity to Cornelia, drank up the atmposphere of the sleeping school, heightened by Yvette's restlessness - and chuckled over Matey drowning her in hot milk!

Thanks, Cath, that was delightful.
Author:  Rosalin [ Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:00 am ]
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Lovely for them to have that peaceful interlude, especially as we know what comes next for Nell.

Thanks Cath, glad you're feeling better.
Author:  leahbelle [ Fri Nov 02, 2007 6:34 pm ]
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Thanks, Cath. Great to see this back :lol:
Author:  linda [ Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:42 pm ]
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Lovely to have this back.

Thanks Cath
Author:  roversgirl [ Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:09 am ]
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just found this. am really enjoying it. thanks
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