Drabbles as History FCS 28/02/05
The CBB -> St Clare's House

#1: Drabbles as History FCS 28/02/05 Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:11 pm


“The End. Off.”

Professor Barcocz-Marani leaned back in her chair with a sigh of relief. At last. This was the paper which would finally put to rest the argument which had been raging since the first the Books and later the Drabbles were discovered. She was thankful that she lived in these exciting times.

She was a young woman of about 60 cycles when the first Gates artefact had been discovered. At first it had been dismissed as a discard on a level with most of the other objects found inexplicably buried and carefully covered with layers of earth. Landfills was the name given these strange features, though why any one would want to fill holes with a mixture of rubbish and perfectly serviceable articles no one knew. Many of these Landfills had housing built on them and the idea of living in such close proximity to some of the noxious substances which had been buried was appalling.

Nonetheless, archaeologists were used to digging in rubbish and even mere peripheral detritus often filled gaps in historical knowledge. Further excavations in what had once been England had uncovered a curious metal box with strange wires and crude silicon based enormous microprocessors – at least thirty millimetres across. Another of these data drives, as they learned to call them was inside, still connected.

It was not until a paper book entitled “Windows Networking” was found and translated from primitive English that it was realised that these were indeed storage devices and, in some crude fashion, gates to a communication system. The name Gates appeared in many other documents uncovered which referred to these objects and became synonymous with the machines themselves.

As a young girl she had read a translation of the Blue Books, a series of paper books with blue covers which had been discovered, preserved in a vault with other objects considered valuable at the time, such as gold and silver. They told the history of an institution, known as the Chalet School, where girls were sent to be educated in the 20th Century AD. She had been captivated, in part, by discovering all her names in the books.

The Gates machines contained shorter texts on the same topic but written later, together with much background information about the Chalet School.

Now Professor Emeritus of GO at the University of Orion and arguably the most eminent academic in five star systems, she had decided all those years ago that interpreting this supplementary history would be her life’s work. She had fought her way to the top of her profession, which was highly competitive, over the last 200 cycles. The study of GO was now the most prestigious academic discipline and commanded great respect.

To think that girls were so plentiful in those times that they were sent away to institutions and actually had to share carers and teachers. It seemed unbelievable. The lack of care taken of these precious girls was appalling. She shuddered at the thought of the risk to a child of walking up a mountain with a precipice on one side. Some students had interpreted the activities as part of a ritual to placate the so called Gods in which these people believed. Others be held the view that with the population reaching capacity, accidents were welcome.

Nowadays any child born, male or female, would be cared for by whole teams of professionals. Given optimum nutrition and carefully planned exercise till reaching adulthood at 40 cycles. Although humans were now more or less immortal there were still accidents and it was important to maintain numbers.

She idly wondered what it was like in those early days when adult men and women lived together and casually procreated, sending the boys away, and the women then concentrating on the care of the girls. Why did they give birth to boys, apart from enough to maintain the population, of course. Why bother?

The few males born today (for there were still a few allowed just in case some as yet unknown combination of male genes should be needed in the future) were guided carefully into careers where they could do no harm with their aggressive and careless attitudes and lived in communities where they could play their interminable games. She couldn’t imagine having them around her all the time.

Some so called experts dismissed the Books as fiction, pointing to inconsistencies in names and ages, together with coincidences which seemed unlikely. They were wrong. One only had to see that the main names in the Books and Drabbles, as the shorter texts were called, were still in existence wherever humans had settled to realise that they were not fiction. There was even a planet named Maynard. The only one in the galaxy where multiple births still cropped up from time to time.

Others accepted the Books as history but claimed that the Drabbles were only fiction. She was sure this was not so. So much emotion and effort had been poured into the Drabbles, some of which were heartrending, for them to be anything other than fact.

Most of Old Earth was still under water of course from the melting of the ice caps 5,000 earth years ago, but there were still places where artefacts could be found and new finds were being uncovered all the time. Why only ten years ago, she had received a hologram of an artefact which could only be a lacrosse stick from the descriptions she had read and there had been those fragments of a dark glass bottle with ‘CAST’ on a label on one piece and ‘IL’ on another. Almost certainly CASTOR OIL. Proof indeed that the history was correct.

She extended her hand and the domestic maintenance circuits placed a cup of coffee in it. She sipped and then said “Play”.


Last edited by patmac on Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:31 pm; edited 9 times in total

 


#2:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:17 pm


Aha, see why you said you'd been trawling the archives - love the Maynard planet, love the occ man being allowed but shunted off to play his imterminal games , actually love the whole concept. Thanks Pat, looking forward to more when you are ready.

 


#3:  Author: kerenLocation: Israel PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:36 pm


Science fiction and CS together, my favorites!

 


#4:  Author: NicciLocation: UK PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:06 pm


Inspired. Truly. I'd love to see more... *hopeful*

 


#5:  Author: LadyGuinevereLocation: Leicester PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:09 pm


Very intriguing! Right up my alley as well, lol Smile Really looking forward to more of this!

 


#6:  Author: AlexLocation: Manchester, UK PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:57 pm


Genius, Patmac. I'd have drabbled more carefully if I'd have thought people were ging to study them in the future!

 


#7:  Author: KimLocation: Tipperary, Ireland PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:33 pm


brilliant peep into the future - no doubt future researchers/scientists will be as confused as we are on occasions Laughing looking forward to more Will the professor discover her long lost ancestor Ilonka?

 


#8:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:44 pm


Mwahahahahahah! (quotation from RTW 2003 - 2005)

“INTRODUCTION

In this paper, “ she heard her own voice enunciate clearly, “I will elucidate the main points which have been raised concerning the veracity of the history dealing with the upbringing of girls on primitive old earth known as The Chalet School Series and as portrayed in the sometimes puzzling accounts known as ‘Drabbles’ which were written later.

Most experts agree, after cross referencing with other known sources, that the Chalet School existed during the early to middle 20th Century AD in the calendar of the time, or as we now know it, 2 CPE (Century Pre Exodus). The main event which determines the dating is what was known as the Second World War, though it is now generally agreed that a series of wars were fought without pause throughout the 20th Century and beyond.

It is reliably documented that a leader named ‘Hitler’ took over leadership of his tribe known as Nazis in 1933 or 1934 and was defeated in 1945. This tribe and the conflict between the Nazis and several other tribes is mentioned in several Books and Drabbles. Indeed, it features very strongly in the Drabbles and accounts appears prominently during Drabbles written during 2004 and 2005. The reason for this preoccupation with the period in the drabbles is not entirely understood but it is suggested that this was the only war of the period which was fought on European soil. (Several maps of Europe are held in the archive at 573695 PE-Europe.

By careful study, it is possible to date the Books by reference to known events concerning the Nazis and the ages of certain girls. For a full Exposition of this topic see the excellent paper by Professor Lannis of Cygnus University ‘Hitler and The Chalet School’. 5001AE.

The series of main books is extensive and runs to approximately 62, though there is some confusion as to this number and it appears from derogatory comments made in supplementary discourses which were discovered with the Drabbles that a rival organisation published the Books in condensed versions, censoring certain scenes. The reason for this is not known. (for further information see Barcocz-Marani, Professor M. L. Armada Cuts: A Discussion in The Books and Characters Forum of the CBB (2003 - 5) With Explanatory Notes. (4965) Orion University Press,). This main canon of Books which are supposedly all written by a woman named Elinor M Brent Dyer are written in chronological order.

It is now believed by most scholars that the pseudonym ‘Elinor M Brent Dyer’ was used by a team of writers, possibly with the eponymous Elinor as their leader. This does indeed seem likely as the time involved in ‘typing’ (which was a system of manually entering text letter by letter) would be too labour intensive for one person. This is corroborated by most writers of Drabbles who usually refer to the team as EBD, which is taken to mean ‘Elinor’s Book Department’ and was probably the title of a team of historians involved in this groundbreaking work.

An alternative theory is that ‘Elinor’, who does not appear in the history, was in fact Josephine M Bettany, later Josephine M Maynard. This central character continued to use the name Bettany in her writings and may well have used yet another name for these Books.

There is some circumstantial evidence for this theory in the fact that ‘Joey’, as she is called in the Books, maintains a central role even after leaving the school and is portrayed as having no character flaws – quite a likely portrayal if she was indeed the author. It would certainly explain the detailed knowledge of quite trivial events which are documented.

This theory is also supported in the Drabbles, where events are portrayed from a quite different angle and character flaws appear.

A number of women from different disciplines, though many were historians, formed the team known as the CBB who wrote The Drabbles, often in collaboration and with scholarly criticism from other CBBers, as they called themselves. These noble women allied themselves with a woman called Liss Webster, also known as ‘The Chairman of the Board’ or, affectionately by her intimates as ‘Squeenie’.

The Drabbles (the term seems to mean a short supplementary text) many of which feature events not appearing in the main history, were written later, from memory or research at a time when a primitive method of text communication was developing known as The Internet which used Gates Machines or Windows. This enabled these dedicated women to contribute to the Drabbles and discussions, despite being separated geographically. It is proposed by Dr Taylor of Halifax University (Procyon II) that, without the development of this technology, the Drabbles would not have been written.

We do not understand yet how they managed to devote the necessary time to the occupation, for which they were not paid, and still have careers in other fields. We do know that many worked through the night to achieve their goals.

Some of the members of the CBB team, though not all trained historians themselves, have added whole Books to the history known as ‘Fill Ins’. It should be noted that this lends credence to the hypothesis that this valuable part of our PE history was written by women who participated in the events they described or had access to original members of the Chalet School, possibly descendents of the Chalet School members.

The responses by commentating members of the CBB suggest that they were emotionally involved with the people portrayed in the Drabbles. This would substantiate the theory that research was undertaken with surviving members of the Chalet School or their descendents.

There is also some evidence, outlined in the first Chapter of this paper that they were reacting to the dangers of the continuing wars which were still occurring in various parts of the world and also other threats to their civilisations such as disease and global warming which was only just becoming understood and eventually resulted in the Exodus.

I do not propose in this paper to concentrate on the main Books but on the body of work contained in the Drabbles and the scholarly criticism, together with emotional response which was offered by other CBBers.

I will be concentrating mainly on aspects of the Drabbles which deal with mortality and also offer an explanation for the sudden cessation of the Blue Books at the middle of the century.

For other published works on the Books themselves may I recommend:

Willimott, Prudence. (4895) The Riddle of the Missing Year : Philosophy, Prejudice and Practice. Sirius Popular Press.

Lepattre, Vikki. (4736) Drains : An Examination Of Primitive Waste Disposal And The Subsequent Removal Of The Chalet School To A More Sanitary Environment. University of Procyon, Department of Ancient History .

Townend, Dr. Scarlett . (4836) [i/Motherhood : An Analysis of The Sublimation of Maternal Instincts in the Chalet School Staff.[/I] Thesis submission for PhD, Published by University of Belfast (Cygnus) Winner of the Russell Prize for GO Studies.

Maynard, Jennie. (4712) Caring for Children in a Primitive Society : An Analysis of the Coping Strategies of a Mother with Eleven Children in Pre Exodus History. Cochrane and Daughter.

Pause.”


Last edited by patmac on Sat Jan 29, 2005 11:39 pm; edited 1 time in total

 


#9:  Author: Kathy_SLocation: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:53 pm


This is hysterical! :laughing: Much, much more fun than the seminar I'm supposed to be preparing, even though I've given the leading chemical some very dashing sunglasses. :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 


#10:  Author: AllyLocation: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:55 pm


This is wonderful and so clever Pat!! Thank you Very Happy

 


#11:  Author: DawnLocation: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:56 pm


This is excellent Patmac - please can we have lots and lots

 


#12:  Author: BethCLocation: Worcester, UK PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:13 pm


patmac wrote:
Maynard, Jennie. (4712) Caring for Children in a Primitive Society : An Analysis of the Coping Strategies of a Mother with Eleven Children in Pre Exodus History. Cochrane and Daughter.
Brilliant! ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

 


#13:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:16 pm


Quote:
Maynard, Jennie. (4712) Caring for Children in a Primitive Society : An Analysis of the Coping Strategies of a Mother with Eleven Children in Pre Exodus History. Cochrane and Daughter.
Really,really want Jennie to see that! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Excellent Pat!

 


#14:  Author: SugarplumLocation: second star to the right! PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:51 pm


Patmac - this wonderful - hope there is loads more to come!

 


#15:  Author: RachelLocation: West Coast of Scotland PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:26 pm


This is brilliant! Can't wait to see what conclusions you can draw from the drabbles! And in an interesting paradox, this very drabble could become part of the historical documents!

 


#16:  Author: KatarzynaLocation: North West England PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:31 pm


enjoying this immensely but highly worried about why Patmac has to go and re read Holocaust!

 


#17:  Author: RachelLocation: West Coast of Scotland PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:39 pm


Katarzyna wrote:
enjoying this immensely but highly worried about why Patmac has to go and re read Holocaust!
Hey! Holocaust is a tragic tale of suffering and such like stuff blah blah - educational! You should all go and re read it! At least once per month! (Would save me and Carolyn from ever having to write another drabble ) )

 


#18:  Author: KatarzynaLocation: North West England PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:44 pm


true it is wonderful! what i'm worried about is that if it's true then the writer is working from the fact that they are all descended from the cloned mateys and, erm, well, me! Embarassed

 


#19:  Author: RachelLocation: West Coast of Scotland PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:47 pm


Congratulations on your repopulating of the world )

 


#20:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:57 pm


Rachel wrote:
Hey! Holocaust is a tragic tale of suffering and such like stuff blah blah - educational.
Exactly! I've read and written to many academic papers to think otherwise.

 


#21:  Author: nikkieLocation: Cumbria PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:57 pm


ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL Fantastic!

 


#22:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:08 am


That is brilliant Patmac!!!

 


#23:  Author: VikkiLocation: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:41 am


Wonderful, Patmac!!! (although the idea of an entire universe descended mainly from the Matey clones is rather scary!!!)

 


#24:  Author: kerenLocation: Israel PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 9:02 am


Please put a laughing warning on this drabble. (Do not read when you are among people who will think it strange if you suddenly laugh out loud!!!!!!!!!)It is so funny!

 


#25:  Author: KatieLocation: A Yorkshire lass in London PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:33 pm


This is great, Patmac. Can't get a better combination than SF and CS!

 


#26:  Author: AliceLocation: London, England PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:36 pm


What a great idea. Looking forward to more.

 


#27:  Author: NicciLocation: UK PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 12:38 pm


Brilliant, so clever. I think this is my favourite thread at the moment! Please please post more soon patmac.

 


#28:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:25 pm


Brilliant, PatMac. Er, does this mean that I have to write the damn book?

 


#29:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 3:02 pm


This is absolutely fascinating! I'm interested to learn more - please continue Laughing Liz

 


#30:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 4:39 pm


Jennie wrote:
Er, does this mean that I have to write the damn book?


In my universe, one of your descendents wrote it. Wink Just a wee bit more.


“Chapter 1

PREOCCUPATION WITH MORTALITY IN THE 20TH CENTURY AS PROTRAYED IN DRABBLES

One of the Drabbles most often cited as evidence that the Drabbles are fiction is titled Holocaust written in 2003-2004 (for a facsimile of this Drabble, together with translation, access can be obtained at Archive location CSD 4989763a). We do know that this is not entirely factual as it climaxes in the death of all humans on earth (except one young woman and 7,000,000 clones).

It is my contention that the constant reading and writings of Drabbles, together with the research, which must have been quite harrowing, caused mental distress in some of the members of the CBB and the two writers were attempting to narrate, not only their own research but to also express their mental torment at the state of the wider world and provide a cathartic experience for their colleagues.

The fragile nature of life at the time which is the focus of Holocaust is supported from other contemporary records such as The Sunday Sport (1999), a popular publication, copies of which can be accessed from Archive Location SPN 2356555b, which clearly shows disasters, considerably more bizarre, to our enlightened eyes, occurring with great frequency in the period.

It is difficult for us to envisage the constant fear which must have pervaded every aspect of life in those dark ages and, even in the home or school, accidents involving mutilation or loss of life were common.

In Holocaust, we have numerous examples of the common causes of death caused by accident in the era. (Readers of a sensitive disposition should move straight to Chapter 2).

“The matter was turning very serious; it appeared that one of the middles had mistakenly emptied a packet of rat poison into the vat containing soup.” Holocaust. P. Carolyn (2004 AD)

It is known from the records our foremothers brought from earth that the governing bodies of the time issued constant warnings against just such incidents and campaigned to prevent deaths from dangerous chemicals.

If we take the first example of rat poison being introduced into soup, it should be remembered that rats {1} were common in the 20th Century AD. It was estimated that there were as many rats as humans in the UK during the 20th Century. Although the authorities did what they could, general members of the public were expected to deal with them within their own premises. An anticoagulant was commonly used to kill rats which would account for the symptoms shown by the prefects.

In a text for Chemistry students, published in 2005, it is claimed

“Warfarin is the ‘drug of choice’ when used in medicine as an anticoagulant. It is also used as a rat poison. It is in this form when most accidents involving warfarin occur as young children sometimes eat the poison coated bait.”

In a publication intended for mothers to keep their children safe, Dr Peter Thompson (2005) found it necessary to write:

”Some cleaning substances, rat killers and poisons that are a risk around a house have additional taste agents added to make it taste so bad that no-one would continue eating or drinking it. However, these are not standard - though they are a good additional security as however hard you try there will always be some risk that children will gain access to these bottles.

That such deaths were not uncommon at the School is shown be the reaction of the staff. No medical specialist had been called and Dr Maynard, in spite of living next door, did not visit the school during the Prefects’ illness. When he did, he showed none of the shock and horror we would expect.

“It was after the deaths that Jack decided he ought to visit the school; Erica had been Joey’s ward after all.” Holocaust P Caroline, 2004

Even then, he did not go straight to the San but :

“After helping himself to a drink he went to the staff room and joined Nancy and Kathie in a short game of ‘find the lady’.” {2} Holocaust P Caroline, 2004

After which he “sauntered merrily into the San.” Holocaust Rachel 2004



Notes:

{1} Rat. A small furry mammal, known to harbour organisms causing disease. Not to be confused with ‘bunnies’ which were harmless creatures and kept as pets, particularly specially bred ones known as ‘plot bunnies’.

{2} Find the Lady is believed to be a game involving small squares of printed cardboard which are laid out in a certain order. It may be similar to Patience (see Patience, A procrastination technique in pre Exodus history. (5947) Walker and Tinning, Psychohistorical Journal , 15(6), 43-69.

 


#31:  Author: Guest PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 4:40 pm


Oh dear. This is hysterical. Lots more please? *wondering what Lesley will get*

 


#32:  Author: Lisa_TLocation: Belfast PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 4:43 pm


sorry that was me!

 


#33:  Author: RachelLocation: West Coast of Scotland PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 4:54 pm


patmac wrote:
the two writers were attempting to narrate, not only their own research but to also express their mental torment at the state of the wider world and provide a cathartic experience for their colleagues.
Nidding wisely. Exactly what Carolyn and I were doing.

 


#34:  Author: EmilyLocation: Land of White Coats and Stethoscopes. PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 6:08 pm


:laughing: :laughing: *cackling hysterically* You fool no-one, oh witchy Rosebud! More, please, more Pat! *begging unashamedly*

 


#35:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 8:17 pm


Wonderful! Thank you Pat, this is hysterical! Laughing

 


#36:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:10 pm


Oh dear Pat, this is wonderful. Wonder if cliffs and trampolines will get a mention. JackieJ

 


#37:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:20 pm


truly brilliant *Scary thought* this could be REAL in a million years!!!! *Hastily rethinks some of CS2005 just in case they think it's actual history*

 


#38:  Author: AnnLocation: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:23 pm


*ROFL* Holocaust as the basis of an academic text... priceless!

 


#39:  Author: MihiriLocation: surrey england PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:33 pm


Fantastic. Thank you. I hope there will be lots more of this

 


#40:  Author: Helen PLocation: Crewe, Cheshire PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:42 pm


This is brilliant! Looking forward to more.

 


#41:  Author: SugarplumLocation: second star to the right! PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 11:08 pm


Fantastic Patmac - loving it!

 


#42:  Author: Kathy_SLocation: midwestern US PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 11:09 pm


Marvelous interpretation of Holocaust ROFL And I'd wondered about "Find the Lady" myself. *wonders how Walker & Tinning covered other phenomena* When it comes to techniques in procrastination, the CBB has a lot to answer for. Laughing Excuse me, "for which to answer." *procrastinating*

 


#43:  Author: PatLocation: Doncaster PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 11:31 pm


Rachel wrote:
patmac wrote:
the two writers were attempting to narrate, not only their own research but to also express their mental torment at the state of the wider world and provide a cathartic experience for their colleagues.
Nidding wisely. Exactly what Carolyn and I were doing.
Yes dear! I'm sure we'll all agree with that! This is brilliant Pat. Have you been seeing too much of those afore-metnioned drabble writers? You seem to have caught their infection!

 


#44:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 11:25 am


This is excellent Pat! Thank you. Liz *would like to think that Drabbles are a more reliable source of information than The Sunday Sport Laughing *

 


#45:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 12:25 pm


Well I so pleased that someone has finally realised the grave nature of Holocaust. it was a serious piece that was very painful to write, the research alone was a heavy burden. As for being the basis of an acadmeic study, well about time too!

 


#46:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 3:08 pm


This all came out of reading something on Greek mythology and then remembering that Troy was thought to be fictional. Bunny got hold of it and - the rest is history. Carolyn thanks for the offer of an unyibbly copy but I will probably use some of the yibbles later Wink

 


#47:  Author: AlexLocation: Manchester, UK PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 3:47 pm


Is Find the Lady like Old Maid but with playing cards?

 


#48:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 4:41 pm


Where's the next bit, PatMac?

 


#49:  Author: Emma ALocation: The Soke of Peterborough PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 6:36 pm


This is fantastic, Patmac - it's taking me ages to catch up from my week away, and I won't get far with my own drabbles if there's such stuff like this to read instead!

 


#50:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:40 pm


“Miss Bertram coughed, gulped, and became the first death in a drabble caused by a bad smell.” Holocaust. P. Carolyn (2004 AD).

At first glance, this account seems extremely unlikely. From the distance of nearly seven thousand earth years, we cannot imagine a smell which would cause such a horrifying consequence. However, some research in the archives of other disciplines with the help of Dr Entwhistle (Department of Aromatherapy, Institute of Well Being, Alpha Centaurus) and Professor Beck (Professor Emeritus at the Ikea Institute, Alpha Hydrae) has shown some very interesting accounts of the origins of noxious smells and their possible consequences.

It was believed that many illnesses were caused by poor ventilation and a ‘bad smell’ would certainly exist in a school where so many girls were crammed together with only cold baths for hygiene. In this particular passage, we are told that no one in authority had enforced even this imperfect method of cleaning the skin.

A report of the Health of Towns Commissions 1845 states:
“Defective draining, neglect of street cleansing, ventilation, and imperfect supplies of water, contribute to produce atmospheric impurities which effect the general health and physical condition of the population generating acute, chronic & ultimately organic disease.”
Even as late as 2005, warnings were being issued about poor drainage.
• Blocked drains or sewers
• Broken and leaking drains and sewers
• Pipes not connected to the drainage system
• Missing, rusted, broken and leaking gutters and rainwater down-pipes
And the dangers these could bring.

We take for granted the ventilation systems which purify the air within our houses but in the early 20th Century these were totally unknown and reliance was made on physical openings to the outside air.

Havilland and Tombs (5001) in discussing this subject state that:

“Windows were a primitive system of ventilation using openings in the wall of a building with frames inserted, filled with clear or obscured glass to let in daylight. These windows were opened, usually by a hinged mechanism to allow air from outside the building to circulate through the building in order to remove noxious fumes. Unfortunately, the degree of circulation depended on wind speed and direction at any given time and the method was either ineffective or caused great discomfort to the occupants. A further drawback to the system was that the occupants could never agree on whether the windows should be opened on not and so were constantly opening and closing them, thus rendering them ineffective, It is also argued by Annersley and Green (4988) that the disputes caused by the opening of windows contributed to the rise in levels of domestic violence in the period.”

A method of masking these smells was attempted towards the end of the 20th Century but using ‘Air fresheners’. These, it is believed from analysis of the traces of chemicals in such devices excavated from landfills, show that the sense of smell had become dulled by this period as the smells reproduced by scientists who have made a study of such items were considered offensive in themselves. This could account for the lack of attention given to the problem before a death occurred.

Footnote:

Windows, due to the semantic inaccuracy of the era could also be used to describe the communication method used by the CBB. Some authors see a deliberate naming of the communication to imply the clarity of glass, (Beck and Green, 4893).

 


#51:  Author: AliceLocation: London, England PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:45 pm


Yaye, some more - thank you Pat

 


#52:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:54 pm


This is wonderful, PatMac. I'm sending super-strength lettuce and carrots for your plot-bunny.

 


#53:  Author: LadyGuinevereLocation: Leicester PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:09 pm


This is really fantastic - a whole different perspective! Smile *fongers crossed for more very soon* Did I mention it's my birthday tomorrow?

 


#54:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:57 pm


I am loving this Pat, bring on more! Laughing Laughing Laughing

 


#55:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 10:11 pm


Quote:
It is also argued by Annersley and Green (4988) that the disputes caused by the opening of windows contributed to the rise in levels of domestic violence in the period.”
Thanks Pat! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

 


#56:  Author: VikkiLocation: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 3:13 am


*giggles wildly!* Wonderful Pat!!!

 


#57:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 3:57 pm


patmac wrote:
A further drawback to the system was that the occupants could never agree on whether the windows should be opened on not and so were constantly opening and closing them, thus rendering them ineffective, It is also argued by Annersley and Green (4988) that the disputes caused by the opening of windows contributed to the rise in levels of domestic violence in the period.”
Did they study my house in particular? *would like to reassure people there has been no actual violence caused by window opening/closure yet...* Thanks Pat Liz

 


#58:  Author: JosieLocation: London PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:20 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Inspired, Pat!!

 


#59:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 6:35 pm


“Miss Bertram coughed, gulped, and became the first death in a drabble caused by a bad smell.” Holocaust. P. Carolyn (2004 AD).

At first glance, this account seems extremely unlikely. From the distance of nearly seven thousand earth years, we cannot imagine a smell which would cause such a horrifying consequence. However, some research in the archives of other disciplines with the help of Dr Entwhistle (Department of Aromatherapy, Institute of Well Being, Alpha Centaurus) and Professor Beck (Professor Emeritus at the Ikea Institute, Alpha Hydrae) has shown some very interesting accounts of the origins of noxious smells and their possible consequences.

It was believed that many illnesses were caused by poor ventilation and a ‘bad smell’ would certainly exist in a school where so many girls were crammed together with only cold baths for hygiene. In this particular passage, we are told that no one in authority had enforced even this imperfect method of cleaning the skin.

A report of the Health of Towns Commissions 1845 states:
“Defective draining, neglect of street cleansing, ventilation, and imperfect supplies of water, contribute to produce atmospheric impurities which effect the general health and physical condition of the population generating acute, chronic & ultimately organic disease.”
Even as late as 2005, warnings were being issued about poor drainage.
• Blocked drains or sewers
• Broken and leaking drains and sewers
• Pipes not connected to the drainage system
• Missing, rusted, broken and leaking gutters and rainwater down-pipes
And the dangers these could bring.

We take for granted the ventilation systems which purify the air within our houses but in the early 20th Century these were totally unknown and reliance was made on physical openings to the outside air.

Havilland and Tombs (5001) in discussing this subject state that:

“Windows were a primitive system of ventilation using openings in the wall of a building with frames inserted, filled with clear or obscured glass to let in daylight. These windows were opened, usually by a hinged mechanism to allow air from outside the building to circulate through the building in order to remove noxious fumes. Unfortunately, the degree of circulation depended on wind speed and direction at any given time and the method was either ineffective or caused great discomfort to the occupants. A further drawback to the system was that the occupants could never agree on whether the windows should be opened on not and so were constantly opening and closing them, thus rendering them ineffective, It is also argued by Annersley and Green (4988) that the disputes caused by the opening of windows contributed to the rise in levels of domestic violence in the period.”

A method of masking these smells was attempted towards the end of the 20th Century but using ‘Air fresheners’. These, it is believed from analysis of the traces of chemicals in such devices excavated from landfills, show that the sense of smell had become dulled by this period as the smells reproduced by scientists who have made a study of such items were considered offensive in themselves. This could account for the lack of attention given to the problem before a death occurred.

Footnote:

Windows, due to the semantic inaccuracy of the era could also be used to describe the communication method used by the CBB. Some authors see a deliberate naming of the communication to imply the clarity of glass, (Beck and Green, 4893).

 


#60:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 6:43 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Love all the references!!!! Thanks Pat.

 


#61:  Author: LadyGuinevereLocation: Leicester PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 6:44 pm


Yay! Thank you!
Quote:
like racing in specially prepared cars, known as Ferraris.
They're not all Ferraris! Smile

 


#62:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 6:53 pm


patmac wrote:
Kirkum, V. (4999) Baileys: A Study of an Ancient Cult Irish Cream Publishers.
I'd love to study that book - especially if it involves a practical course :drunk: Thanks Pat Liz

 


#63:  Author: DawnLocation: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 8:25 pm


Excellent Pat - do we get a preview on Saturday?
Quote:
Professor Beck (Professor Emeritus at the Ikea Institute, Alpha Hydrae)
Love it! Laughing

 


#64:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 9:27 pm


Wonderful Pat *also pleads for a preview* JackieJ

 


#65:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 9:46 pm


brilliant! may we have some more? *encloses bunny treats, chocolate and extra-strength coffee*

 


#66:  Author: AnnLocation: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 9:53 pm


Patmac, you are a genius :worthy: *also begging for a preview*

 


#67:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:30 am


Sorry there was no post last night. RL, in the shape of an urgent report kept me busy. Lady G, I did take note of your birthday Wink sorry I'm late.

“Engelbert stood up so suddenly his chair shot backwards, knocking over the little junior school girl who had tapped timidly and entered the room. The force of the chair sent her flying so hard she unfortunately fell through a plate glass window, said window being on the fourth floor. Engelbert rushed to the window and looked down to where little Ermintruda was lying, still, grey and covered in blood.” Holocaust Rachel 2004

You will note that the room was on the Fourth Floor. In those days, conditions were so crowded with the overpopulation that houses were built with several series of rooms on top of one another, thus saving land for growing crops and dumping rubbish. Access to the upper floors was by means of ‘stairs’ {1}

This is a ghastly image and shows, yet again how dangerous life was in houses with windows. The rather pathetic safety laws of the time attempted to address this by means of regulations but no real attempt was made to solve the problem till ‘air conditioning’ {2} came to be used widely in the early 21st Century.

Pane and Frame (4752) strongly suggest that this lack of care was a deliberate form of population control and point to the significance of the fact that sophisticated air conditioning and the practice of omitting windows from buildings, replacing them with pictures of beautiful landscapes, was only developed after population started to fall and the birth rate plummeted.

I find the theory a little thin as between 1996 and 2001 only 15 deaths due to falling from windows in Health and Social Care Institutions were reported in Great Britain. Of course, it is likely that there were more as many dreadful incidents were not reported but it does seem that this would not decrease the population by enough to make serious inroads into the overcrowding problem. However, a slogan of the times “Every Little Helps” may be an indicator that this was indeed the aim.


Notes

{1} stairs

A device whereby people wishing to ascend to an upper room could do so in small increments. A leaning framework was constructed with alternate vertical and horizontal infills. Each step up brought the user nearer to the next layer of rooms.

A Study by the Center for Locomotion Studies (CELOS), Penn State University, University North America, which has been discovered by researchers at Halifax University, Alpha Centauri III, states :
“Locomotion on stairs is among the most challenging and hazardous activities of daily living that elderly individuals encounter. Many deaths and injuries occur among the elderly on stairs and it is not well known that accidents during descent outnumber those during ascent by more than three to one.

{2} Air Conditioning
A primitive attempt at internal climate control, designed to cool air by passing it over refrigerants and venting the hot air to the outside of the building. This resulted in a form of behaviour called ‘workplace rage’ as some workers were in the full flow of the cool air and were consequently overchilled while others gained no benefit as the cool air did not reach them.

In addition, the hot air was vented into the outside atmosphere and could raise the temperature in a small area by a measurable amount, thus contributing to global warming.


Further Reading:

Bradley, Lady Guinevere, (4958) Ascending the Towers : Stairs in Folklore, Dalereath Press.

 


#68:  Author: EllieLocation: Lincolnshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:54 am


Brilliantly clever, Patmac, I love it. Though it's making me a little suspicious of the conclusions we in the present day have reached about past societies Wink Hope to see much more soon.

 


#69:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 11:37 am


patmac wrote:
thus saving land for growing crops and dumping rubbish.
Sadly, the dumping rubbish part seems to be too true. Thanks PatMac Liz

 


#70:  Author: KathyeLocation: Laleham PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 12:51 pm


This is amazingly inspired Patmac, please keep it up !!

 


#71:  Author: pimLocation: Helmel Hampster PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 1:08 pm


This is absolutely inspired Pat! Thanks Very HappyVery HappyVery Happy

 


#72:  Author: Emma ALocation: The Soke of Peterborough PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 1:11 pm


Thanks, Pat! Love the academic studies and the erroneous conclusions drawn about our culture and society.

 


#73:  Author: AllyLocation: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:21 pm


*chuckling happily* fantasically clever Pat, thank you Very Happy

 


#74:  Author: RachelLocation: West Coast of Scotland PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:33 pm


Emma A wrote:
Love the academic studies and the erroneous conclusions drawn about our culture and society.
But it's all true! Patmac is actually from the future and has been sent back in time to conduct further research into our primitive ways. That's my guess anyway. (Oh, and Mac is actually her commander)

 


#75:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:09 pm


RACHEL! How could you blow my cover like that. My Commander is most upset!

 


#76:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:20 pm


Damn, I was hoping for another installment of drabble.

 


#77:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:31 pm


Never mind the drabble Jennie (although that last instalment was vair good!) *plots to get future winning lottery numbers out of our time travelling patmac* Twisted Evil JackieJ

 


#78:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:48 pm


Won't it look a little odd when there are almost 500 winners for the top prize?

 


#79:  Author: JoeyLocation: Cambridge PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 5:49 pm


PatMac, I rarely laugh out loud, but you've managed it! This is wonderful! Thank you.

 


#80:  Author: DawnLocation: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 5:53 pm


patmac wrote:
However, a slogan of the times “Every Little Helps” may be an indicator that this was indeed the aim.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL thankyou pat and commander mac

 


#81:  Author: JosieLocation: London PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 5:57 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Thanks Pat. *plots to get lottery numbers out of Jackie once she's got them from Pat*

 


#82:  Author: LadyGuinevereLocation: Leicester PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:13 pm


Hehehehe. I LOVE these lines:
Quote:
Of course, it is likely that there were more as many dreadful incidents were not reported but it does seem that this would not decrease the population by enough to make serious inroads into the overcrowding problem. However, a slogan of the times “Every Little Helps” may be an indicator that this was indeed the aim.
ROFL And this....
Quote:
Bradley, Lady Guinevere, (4958) Ascending the Towers : Stairs in Folklore, Dalereath Press.
Very Happy Mexican Wave What a cool pressie! Very Happy I was only expecting more ficcy, lol! Laughing

 


#83:  Author: AlexLocation: Manchester, UK PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:16 pm


15 deaths from falling out of windows!? Pat do you make these stats up or are they sadly true?

 


#84:  Author: SophoifeLocation: down under Down Under PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:23 pm


patmac wrote:
Further Reading: Bradley, Lady Guinevere, (4958) Ascending the Towers : Stairs in Folklore, Dalereath Press.
Laughing just wondering if Dalereath is a typo for Dalereuth? And if so, how can I get hold of its catalogue? (happy b'day LadyG)

 


#85:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:37 pm


Alex wrote:
15 deaths from falling out of windows!? Pat do you make these stats up or are they sadly true?
It's true - according to stats. I have a weird mind that remembers stats - useful in the job but normally not anywhere else.
Sophoife wrote:
just wondering if Dalereath is a typo for Dalereuth? And if so, how can I get hold of its catalogue?
Oops! I can't write any more tonight or tomorrow but will try to get a 'special edition' done for Saturday's gather. I need at least 36 hours in every day at present and I haven't found out how to do that .................................... Yet Twisted Evil I've given in to the Reg bunny's views on how the next section of that should go and just hope it works out right so must steam on with that.

 


#86:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 9:22 pm


*sobs quietly* and for those of us who won't be at Saturday's gather?

 


#87:  Author: LadyGuinevereLocation: Leicester PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 9:52 pm


I knew what you meant, lol Smile

 


#88:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:15 pm


Wondeful Pat! Laughing Mac - give her the day off, do.

 


#89:  Author: Miss DiLocation: Newcastle, NSW PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 2:37 am


What about those of us who can't get to your gather on Saturday because it is just too far to travel? We're having a "Sydney and the Bush" meeting on Saturday - can't I have the preview to share there? Pweeeese...

 


#90:  Author: NinaLocation: Peterborough, UK PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:20 am


Loving this, Pat! Like someone else said, though - it does make you think about the history we've been taught Shocked

 


#91:  Author: SusanLocation: Carlisle PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 3:59 pm


Finally managed to read all of this Pat it is so so funny. Love all the references. Glad I am coming to the Yorkshire gather if we are to see some more of this.

 


#92:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 5:11 pm


Please, PatMac, post it early so we can see it too.Really need a begging on knees smiley for this one.

 


#93:  Author: AnnLocation: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:38 pm


patmac wrote:
I can't write any more tonight or tomorrow but will try to get a 'special edition' done for Saturday's gather.
Mexican Wave piano :balloons: drummer :box: Trumpet :cheers: Guitar party :red: popper

 


#94:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:37 pm


Proceedings of the 3rd Conference Of the Galactic Gathering of YGA On the Significance of Drabbles in the Modern Galaxy and the Application of Differential Geometry to the Facts behind the Myth.

Morley Virtual University
5th February 5005
AE Preface

The Conference provided a setting for discussing recent developments in Interpretation of the Holocaust Drabble with particular emphasis on the survivors, with reference to the Differential Geometrical allusions contained in the last section (Section A) and Interpretation of Drabbles using Phi and 3-dimentional Geometry Methods in Physics with reference to Social Trends in the 20th Century AD (Section B). There were main lectures during the morning and short talks on more specialised topics in the afternoon.

The Chairman, and the Editors of these Proceedings, are grateful to the Rector of the Virtual University, Professor Dawn Beck, for hosting the proceedings, to the Mayor of the City of Morley for his welcoming address, and Professor A Beck of the Transport Division, for his support of the Conference activities. We are also obliged to the following companies, Baileys Universal inc, The Ikea Institute and the Sandyman Residents Association for their sponsorship.

We would like to thank all the referees and other colleagues who helped in preparing these Proceedings for publication. Our thanks are also due to all participants for their contributions to the Conference programme and these Proceedings.

Morley, 5005

Programme

1. Floods in the 20th Century : Why is there only one minor flood in Holocaust. by Dr Susan Tinning, Dean of Wellington Boot Studies, Border University. A dissertation on the Great Flood of Carlisle (Off Topic 2005 AD)

--------

2. The Care of Young Infants : Mass incarceration of the Under Fives by Professor Carolyn (Dolly) Edwards, A theory of Kindergarten, Small Children in Drabbles Acclaimed Author of Terrible Twos to Frustrating Fours, the best selling book on discipline methods in the 20th Century.

--------

3. Railways : Ineptitude on Iron Rails By Dr Ann Wilson-Choo-Bettany and Dr Catherine Humphries-Choo-Trelawney, The Joint Professors of Steam Studies at the Clapham Junction University. As dissertation on Coordinates and other statistics of the 5 Platonic Solids

--------

4. Abseiling : Theory and Practice by Dr Jackie J. Lachenais, Renowned Mountaineer and Leader of the successful 4895 Expedition to climb the Peaks of Mons Olympus. How the CBBers survived the trauma of The Cliffs

--------

5. Medical Conundrums : the Red Sarafan by Dr Emily Venables, Leader of the Team at Barber University which published the groundbreaking Paper Redheads : Fact or Fiction A Study into Primitive Medicine in the Chalet School era

--------

6. Paper Books : The Legend of the Library By Dr AuntiePat Willimot, Head of Paper Conservation at the British Library Foundation, Sirius IV The Storage of Information, Libraries, then and now

--------

7. The Phenomenon of the Hug Mountain : The Connection with Hugs 98 By Professor Catriona Lloyd, Dean of Doncaster Institute, Betelgeuse. An advanced polymorphic type system with type and constructor class overloading.

--------

8. The Chalet School : A comparison with other documented curricula. By Dr Alex Berne-French An explanation of the term ‘trilingual’ drawing on semantic clues evidenced in contemporary literature

--------

9. How representative was the Chalet School? By Professor Lucy Chester, Head of Linguistic Studies at Mancunian College, Red Rose University, Sygnus V. An examination of the educational attainment of pupils in comparison with wider society.

--------

10. Bruno : The Metamorphosis of a Canine. By Professor Mac Machin of the Dog Wrangling Institute of Canine Intelligence.

--------

Closing Address By Professor Dawn Beck

 


#95:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:45 pm


:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :jump: :red: :tigger: :jump: :red: :tigger:

 


#96:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:46 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing I knew I was hanging on for something! Thanks PatMac. Well, when I've stopped laughing I'll say it.

 


#97:  Author: SophoifeLocation: down under Down Under PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:37 pm


Even an idiot Australian (before anybody else says it) can follow that - absolutely brilliant, PatMac! :tigger: :tigger: :tigger: :tigger: :tigger: :tigger: :tigger: Thank you!

 


#98:  Author: pimLocation: Helmel Hampster PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 7:05 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Thanks PatMac!

 


#99:  Author: DawnLocation: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:39 pm


It was good this afternoon and even better now Patmac - thankyou Laughing Read the relevant bits to Andy & he was mucho impressed Very Happy

 


#100:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 9:08 pm


Was great to hear this afternoon, and great to see posted. Thanks Pat.

 


#101:  Author: JosieLocation: London PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 9:34 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Brilliant. Hope you all had a great time at the gather Very Happy

 


#102:  Author: Kathy_SLocation: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 9:52 pm


Applauds Prof. PatMac’s exceptionally erudite and well-referenced commentary on the proceedings. Very Happy Sounds like a lovely time was had by all!

 


#103:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:04 pm


Thanks Pat, yet more giggles coming from this direction. *hopes that all attendees now feel safer in drabbles* ) JackieJ

 


#104:  Author: VikkiLocation: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:48 pm


)*giggles* Wonderful Pat!!! (take it Catherine and Ann had 'issues' with the trains then? Wink

 


#105:  Author: AllyLocation: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 2:32 pm


Brilliant brilliant brilliant!!! :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL Im glad you all had a great time Very Happy

 


#106:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:33 pm


I'm not sure whether Catherine and Ann actually had trouble with the trains, though they did miss some of the more erudite papers in the morning session! I just had an idea for trains and needed authors! Anyway, let's start with the first paper for those who could not attend.

Floods in the 20th Century : Why is there only one minor flood in Holocaust. by Dr Susan Tinning, Dean of Wellington Boot Studies, Border University. A dissertation on the Great Flood of Carlisle (Off Topic 2005 AD)

____________________________

We know that the early humans of the 20th Century AD appeared to be concerned about rising sea levels, even though the various Tribal Leaders were taking no action. Each was too afraid of the effects on his or her own tribe’s reaction to a recession in the economy to take action on the emissions of what were known as ‘greenhouse’ gasses, now known to be a major factor in need for The Exodus.

In their defence, it should be realised that most of the tribes were ruled by men who were elected for a short term and could only continue to rule and enjoy the privileges of their status, such as free meals and free transport, by being re-elected every few earth years. The penalties of losing an election were severe. Obscurity usually followed and to such men, who had built their identity on the basis of their titles, this was very upsetting.

We also know that floods are a recurring theme in all the Myths of Old Earth. Recent work on a collection of damaged and fragile paper books, led by Dr AuntiePat Willimot, Head of Paper Conservation at the British Library Foundation, Sirius IV, have enabled us to extend our understanding of these events. Dr Ally Gaytor, in her book Die Flutensagen Ethnologisch, has collected eighty-eight different flood traditions. Twenty of these have Asiatic origin five come from Europe seven were found in Africa ten in Australia and the South Sea Islands and forty-six were found among the aborigines of the Americas.

The most important history next to The Bible is the Babylonian flood story as told in the Epic of Gilgamesh which has striking resemblances to the Biblical account. Here are a few. The enormous size of the Ark, giving it a displacement of an estimated 15,000 tons, suggests something bigger than a local catastrophe. The tops of the high hills (or mountains) were covered: since water finds its own level the flood could not have been confined to one particular district. Birds that could fly hundreds of miles were taken on board, indicating that there was no land they could fly to as would have been the case with a local flood.

The average life-span of man was dramatically reduced after the flood, pointing to something more catastrophic in its effects than a local inundation. Noah was in the Ark for over a year: this long drying out period suggests something more than a local flood. The promise given by God to Noah after the Flood (Genesis chapter 8 verse 22) that `seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and winter and summer, and day and night' would not cease, suggests that even the seasons had been affected. This goes far beyond the power of a local flood. Research has shown that the Babylonian flood story did not begin as part of the Gilgamesh Epic.

Another poem called the Atrakhasis Epic tells of the creation of man and his history up to the flood. The reason given for the flood is that Mankind made so much noise that the chief god on Earth could not sleep! Professor Donna Ridcully of the Unseen University, in Moons, Myths and Madness estimates that altogether there are over 500 Flood legends. About 70 can be found in Keren’s Dictionary of Non-Classical Mythology. It must be said, as a general comment, that the monotheism and high moral tone of Moses' account puts it on a higher plane than any of the other records.

The parallels between the many stories scattered around the world are amazing. They generally agree that: There was some provision, an ark, barge, etc. All living things were destroyed by water. Only a few chosen ones were saved through divine intervention. Animals were saved with the humans. The vessel came to a rest on a mountain. The event was caused by Men Behaving Badly.

It is this last point which has the most significance. In our rigorous analysis of the subject, various properties of Laidler configurations are considered, including their combinatorial structure, geometric interpretation, and their relationship to higher order Pimnambulus diagrams and other known notions from computational geometry. Appropriate ways to compute Laidler configurations effectively are then discussed, along with a number of consequences for the construction of bivariate spline spaces built using B-splines. The full analysis is appended hereto for those wishing to check the computations. It will be evident to a mind of even moderate intelligence that there can be no error in the conclusions.

Whether myth or fact, all these accounts agree that a Patriarchal Society was the cause of the Floods in whichever account one reads.

Pause for Coffee and wheat/dairy free ginger cake..

 


#107:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:49 pm


Very interesting. Saw documentary t'other day that hypothesised that the flooding of the then lake now Black Sea - ie when the Mediterranean broke through the land bridge at Istanbul, (dardenenlles?) could have been the source of many flood myths - happened after the Ice Age and would have affected mankind living on the shores of the lake. Thanks Pat.

 


#108:  Author: SusanLocation: Carlisle PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 10:17 pm


Thanks Patmac. looking forward to all the other papers.

 


#109:  Author: JosieLocation: London PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 10:29 pm


Quote:
The event was caused by Men Behaving Badly.
Laughing Laughing (among other very funny bits) thanks Pat

 


#110:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 10:37 pm


all very amusing Laughing can't pick any one line!!! but i am now giggling like an idiot

 


#111:  Author: AnnLocation: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 11:00 pm


patmac wrote:
I'm not sure whether Catherine and Ann actually had trouble with the trains, though they did miss some of the more erudite papers in the morning session!.
Well it wasn't trains exactly, more like train stations, ticket prices and Catherine's employers not bothering to pay her, all of which caused much wibbling and debate over whether we should actually attend. And then the taxi driver didn't know where he was going and had to phone for directions Rolling Eyes ROFL at Emily being Dr Venables and at the Men Behaving Badly line!

 


#112:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:42 am


Lesley wrote:
Saw documentary t'other day that hypothesised that the flooding of the then lake now Black Sea - ie when the Mediterranean broke through the land bridge at Istanbul, (dardenenlles?) could have been the source of many flood myths - happened after the Ice Age and would have affected mankind living on the shores of the lake.
There also was the theory that it was when the Med broke through at Gibralter. The Mediterranean Sea is a remnant of the Tethys, that formed a continuous passageway between the Indo-Pacific and the Atlantic. This seaway separated Africa from Eurasia throughout the Mesozoic (Age of Dinosaurs) and continued as a barrier until some 18 to 14 million years ago when the eastern connection with the Indian Ocean closed forming the Mediterranean. Since the eastern closure of the Tethys, the Mediterranean has continued to narrow. This was caused by the Northward movement of Africa towards Europe. From time to time, the Med is known to have dried out as it evaporates quicker than rain filles it and refilled - it doesn't explain how the myths are found in such similar detail all over the world though. *Thinks men behaving badly will do as a theory for now*

 


#113:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 9:48 am


I love the slant that you're putting on this, PatMac.

 


#114:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:51 pm


What is not so widely known is that there were frequent other floods, well documented in the 20th Century AD, which caused more localised devastation and destruction. The most well documented flood is The Great Flood of Carlisle. This took place in January 2005 and was reported by a CBB member who was affected. This led to widespread riots due to a shortage of biscuits. There was also a report by a member of floods in Philadelphia, home of Katherine Drexel, in mid Western America at about the same time.

Despite much suffering, no attempt appears to have been made to move populations in low lying areas to higher ground. Indeed, major urban centres such as New York, Los Angeles, Tokyo, London were located at sea level, giving weight to the theory that some covert attempt was being made to reduce populations levels.

It is strange that despite the matter being widely discussed in other sources, the Authors of Holocaust only documented one flood in their lament on the decline of their civilisation. In the same year as the destruction of Interlaken was described, a newspaper commissioned a survey of British public opinion on what scares people most. Over 2136 people were questioned. The survey discovered that 10% of people fear that an asteroid will hit the earth. 52% of those polled said they were worried about unchecked scientific advancement. But 60% of said they were worried about global warming and of those 20% are either ‘very’ worried or ‘extremely’ worried. I quote the relevant passage to refresh your memories.

After arriving in the large town, Interlaken (oooooh, at least 250,582 people) Madge took all 112 girls for coffee, which at a shilling a cup wasn't cheap! This was to be Madge's first and most expensive mistake of the entire trip. The girls were all sitting where they could to drink their coffee, when one small child, Ethelina by name, began complaining loudly that she needed a wee. This set off all the other girls, and soon Madge was surrounded by a mob of "desperate" girls. The complaints rapidly turned into whinges, and from there it was only a short time until first one girl then another burst into tears at how unfair life was and all they wanted was a wee.

Madge knew action was required. Knowing that there wasn't anywhere with facilities for 112 girls to all go for a wee simultaneously, Madge made a hasty - and foolish - plan. She took them all down to the lakeside, turned her back on them all, opened her coat wide and said "On you go then, nobody will see you!" 112 girls peeing into the lake at once caused the waters to rise so rapidly that nobody in the town stood a chance. The flood waters rose up through the drains, through the toilets, through the sinks. The water rose fast and smelly, and within seconds, all 250,582 residents of Interlaken were dead. 111 schoolgirls died in the tragedy, and 732 visitors to the area also lost their lives that day.


I would submit that the reason this was not discussed more fully is that the horror of such an occurrence was too much for the author to bear. Unlike, being thrown into lime pits, shot, crushed by brownies or dying of boredom or embarrassment, death by flood was considered too terrible to relate and so had to be glossed over. I will draw your attention to the fact that one particularly stalwart member did suggest : ”There's always tidal waves in highly built up areas like New York or Hong Kong! Holocaust (2004) Pat

This suggestion was not commented upon by other members and never used by the authors. (At this point the Moderator indicated that the session had overrun.) I rest my case (which could have been much longer).

 


#115:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 7:25 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Love that people rioted for lack of biscuits - perfectly sensible reason then!

 


#116:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 8:15 pm


Brilliant Patmac. Also loved the biscuit riots...I'd certainly riot.

 


#117:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 8:43 pm


Thanks PatMac Laughing Liz *joining in the riot for lack of biscuits*

 


#118:  Author: LadyGuinevereLocation: Leicester PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 9:21 pm


Fantastic! We need biscuits!

 


#119:  Author: SusanLocation: Carlisle PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:10 am


Rioting not far off. Especially when people discover the shop is still closed! Thanks Pat loved this.

 


#120:  Author: VikkiLocation: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 3:30 pm


*giggles!* Pat! This is wonderful!!!!!

 


#121:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 10:37 pm


A-ha, is starting to make more sense now. I went and hunted out Holocaust and can now appreciate the critical studies of this esteemed text. *Quite scared that she was killed off before even joining* Shocked JackieJ

 


#122:  Author: MihiriLocation: surrey england PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:16 pm


Thanks Patmac. this is great

 


#123:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 7:52 pm


I'm not sure I quite realised what I was taking on with this. I can't see posts being regular due to the extensive research needed in the Archives Razz

The Care of Young Infants : Mass incarceration of the Under Fives by Professor Carolyn P. (Dolly) Edwards, A theory of Kindergarten, Small Children in Drabbles
Acclaimed Author of Terrible Twos to Frustrating Fours, the best selling book on discipline methods in the 20th Century published by Insomnia inc.
Presented at the Galactic Gathering of the YGA 2005

__________________________

In the eyes of our enlightened society, the very idea of sending a small child away from her mother is abhorrent. Reproductive permits are so rare since we realised the dangers of overpopulation that every child is precious to her mother, who has gone through rigorous physical and psychological testing before even being allowed to be placed on the register of potential mothers.

For many years our team at the Juvenile Urgent Needs Institute for Reproduction Studies (JUNIOR) has been studying the phenomenon of rearing children in large numbers and, despite semantic and semiotic analysis and a contextual-usage meaning of words by statistical computations, but based on singular value mathematical matrix decomposition technique closely akin to throwing a dice, were unable to explain the reasoning behind this custom.

Recently, records have been translated from Primitive English which lead us to believe that the practice was more complex than at first appears. Women were made to feel inferior if they did not devote several hours a day to engaging their children in meaningful discourse. They were required to read to them, encourage them in creative play and allow them to make horrid messes by dipping their hands in coloured paints and smearing sheets of paper, their clothes and the table liberally. Great pride was taken in teaching children to read before they attended formal school. They had to be escorted to ‘parties’ which still remain a mystery as the parties attended virtually by the CBB members appear to be excuses for the consumption of large quantities of alcohol.

It has been suggested, by Professor Pimbuchadnezzar of the Linguistics and Golf Institute, that this was an entirely separate phenomenon brought about by the stress of 21st Century life. Dr Ally Norty of the Oryctolagus cuniculus Study Centre maintains that this event known as ‘party’ was an excuse for the mothers to indulge in ‘yibbling’ (see CBB Lexicon, available from all University Libraries) while the children ran riot and therefore slept through the night. All in all, the care of children was hard work.

It should be remembered that women, in that era, did not have disposable clothes. They had to go through a lengthy procedure of sorting the clothes into different colours and place them manually in a washing machine, which was supposed to remove dirt and stains. As this was achieved by wetting the clothes thoroughly with the addition of branched chain alkyl benzene sulphonate (ABS), they then had to remove the moisture. Finally, a hot metal object, known as an iron was placed on the fabric to remove creases. Most women also had to care in a similar way to their ‘husband’ who departed each morning for a day of hard labour and could often not resist his genetic urge to watch ‘soccer’ when he returned home. For an explanation of this game, I recommend Professor Ray Whistleblower’s book ”Obsessions with Sport Volume 2 : The Off Side Rule” published by Kicker and Poser.

This makes it all the more strange that, from accounts in the Blue Books, women took great pride in having many children and were quite competitive about the matter. The central character, Joey Maynard was particularly misguided in this. Joey Maynard had even written a best selling book, which is sadly lost now but preserved in Manuscript form as a Drabble, transcribed by a Member of the CBB known as PatMac. This dealt with the care of children, cleverly titled, “I Can’t See What All The Fuss Is About.” In this, opus, she writes “You will gain from the prestige which a multiple birth brings. Ordinary people who did not have the foresight to have more than one child will be impressed and envious of your good fortune.”

It is hard to believe that in the year of the last Blue Book (1958) there were an estimated 2,945,263,533 people on old earth. Obviously the authorities were most concerned about this but risked the ire of the population if they suggested any drastic methods of population control. We now believe (after statistical analysis as outlined above) that the cognoscenti of the time were only too aware of the problem and were attempting to curb the urge to reproduce by covert means. A solution was found in Kindergarten or ‘Nursery Schools’ as they were known. These establishments were staffed by dedicated women who devoted their lives to accommodating every whim of the pre-school children, thus freeing their mothers for more important pursuits such as crochet and knitting. In these establishments, the carers were protected by an archane system known as 'Public Liability Insurance' which protected them from claims of neglect if their charges met with an unfortunate accident, which was rendered more likely by the sheer numbers involved.

By the time the Drabbles were written, attitudes were changing, although population continued to grow and by the time the seminal Drabble Holocaust was written, had reached 6,386,542,886. The evidence of the change in attitudes is evident in Holocaust. Even central characters from the Chalet School had become disenchanted with the constant presence of small children. The founder expresses very different sentiments from those expressed in the early Blue Books.

…….where little Ermintruda was lying, still, grey and covered in blood "Oh my goodness!" cried Engelbert, totally distraught. "Yes, irritating, isn't it? Never mind, we can get a new one." said Madge calmly
Rachel Holocaust 2004

One cannot imagine Madge saying the same of Robin in earlier days. The only logical explanation is the realisation that the population increase was no longer sustainable and that drastic measures were needed to avert catastrophe.

The Chairperson thanked Professor Edwards for her paper and suggested a recess for coffee and Jaffa Cakes.


ETA : an extremely unscholarly spelling mistake Shocked

 


#124:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:16 pm


Wonderful!!!!! Love this Pat - add to it when you can, we'll wait! Laughing

 


#125:  Author: kerenLocation: Israel PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:21 pm


We will be happy for episodes whenver you can. this is very funny

 


#126:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:10 pm


This is so funny Pat. Love being considered Seminal! Laughing Cool Laughing Add when you can, i know only too well the dangers of multiple bunnies. Confused

 


#127:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:22 pm


Wonderful paper, now I've had the chance to study it more in depth, although the presentation was wonderful ) Thanks Pat JackieJ

 


#128:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:32 pm


fantastic acronym! loving this, patmac!

 


#129:  Author: AliceLocation: London, England PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:38 pm


Yaye, thank you Pat. (what was the spelling mistake?)

 


#130:  Author: EmilyLocation: Land of White Coats and Stethoscopes. PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:59 pm


Brilliant Pat! :worthy:

 


#131:  Author: DawnLocation: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:17 am


This just gets better and better Pat :worthy:

 


#132:  Author: RebeccaLocation: Kendal/Oxford PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 10:39 am


patmac wrote:
One cannot imagine Madge saying the same of Robin in earlier days.
Really enjoying this and this line had me chuckling to myself!

 


#133:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:41 pm


Love the idea of disposable clothes and not having to wash & iron them!Thanks PatMacLiz

 


#134:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:46 pm


This is wonderful, PatMac. Thank you.

 


#135:  Author: SusanLocation: Carlisle PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:07 pm


Fabulous Pat. So funny the right sort of thing to read on a dismal Friday afternoon.

 


#136:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 2:58 pm


Railways : Ineptitude on Iron Rails By Dr Ann Wilson-Choo-Bettany and Dr Catherine Humphries-Choo-Trelawney, The Joint Professors of Steam Studies at the Clapham Junction University. A dissertation on Coordinates and other statistics of the 5 Platonic Solids

Good morning ladies. Dr Catherine Humphries-Choo-Trelawney and I have been interested in the study of railways and their effect on Old Earth Civilisation for many years. As young girls of around 35, we met on an Educational visit to the Planet, Kings Cross where an entire rail network, reproducing that of part of England in the early 20th Century AD, when engines were powered by coal fires which produced steam under pressure, has been recreated for the recreational purposes of the men living there. These men call themselves ‘Rivet Counters’ and wear costume of the 20th Century such as anoraks and woollen hats, looking most strange. Their dedication to their hobby is complete and they spend all their waking hours travelling on steam trains, standing on station platforms with small paper notebooks or polishing the brass on the engines.

We were amazed to find that the reconstruction has been done with intricate detail, such as smelly waiting rooms, volunteers acting as travellers and, most difficult of all, late trains. The trip was tiring, but rewarding and we decided to work together once we were adults to study a niche within the GO genre which covers the subject of train travel and to analyse the role which railway travel played in the success of the Chalet School as evidenced in the Blue Books. Our rigorous analysis by means of Coordinates and other statistics of the 5 Platonic Solids is appended to the paper as distributed and we will concentrate in this presentation on the results of our work.

Everyone knows that travel by train was de rigeur in the Blue Books. When Madge Bettany first opened the Chalet School, railways were the most used method of getting from city to city. What is not often realised is that this was a very short-lived phenomenon and, had the Chalet School continued into the late 20th Century, there would have been a great change in the travel arrangements so painstakingly described. From the First Blue Book, where Madame, Joey and Grizel travel to the Tiernsee, breaking their journey in Paris, to the Drabbles where CBB members travel all over the world in aeroplanes, is quite a short period of some 72 earth years, yet is that short period some CBB members considered a journey of 10,000 miles from Australia to Europe so trivial that they made the journey several times. One intrepid CBB member (the enigmatically named KB) was in the habit of making this journey by travelling on an aeroplane many times, which seems to us, very dangerous as aeroplanes were heavier than air, for historical studies. (see The Gathering Thread KB 2004)

What no one in the 19th, 20th or early 21st century seems to have realised is that the railway was doomed by the very nature of it’s design.

(Dr Catherine Humphries-Choo-Trelawney steps up to the podium)

Thank you Dr Ann Wilson-Choo-Bettany. The limitation of the railway system can be summed up in two words – iron rails. By their very design, railways could only run wherever the iron rails were laid. The lines were laid in such a way that it could be impossible to travel from one geographical point to another except by a circuitous route. Often this involved travel into London, then across London to another station and then out again on another line. The whole concept may seem very primitive to us but the idea of travelling at speeds in excess of 30 miles per hour was so revolutionary that medical opinion was divided on whether the human frame could withstand such velocities.

We can gauge the acceptance of this mode of travel by the level of importance given to reportage of the journey in the Blue Books. From a full report of the journey in The School at the Chalet to the late Swiss Books, a whole microcosm of attitudes to travel is laid before us in history. The inexplicable gap between the Blue Books and the Drabbles, an interregnum of 45 years, shows the changes in attitude to railways which occurred in the second half of the 20th Century. In the first half of the century, the railways had held an almost mystical significance, admirably portrayed in ‘Night Mail’ http://www.cambrian-railways-soc.co.uk/nightmail/. By the era of the Drabbles, the infernal combustion engine had become dominant and the age of the railways had passed forever.

Thank you Dr Catherine Humphries-Choo-Trelawney. Our conclusions, briefly stated, as we can smell the magnificent aroma of real coffee being prepared by Professor A Beck, are that the changes in attitudes of railways between the Blue Books and The Drabbles are profound . From being a true adventure in the First Blue Book to the subject of derision in Holocaust,
You could have had more people in the train, Rachel! It looks like it was only a local, not the Inter-city to London! (2004)
Pat

Frequent complaints are heard by CBB members about the difficulties of travelling by train in the early 21st Century and it appears that the people running the railways had lost all sense of the purpose of travel. Many stations were closed, whole sections of lines were closed and, despite advances in engine design which include trains powered by electricity, reliability of the system was declining. People stopped travelling by train for leisure purposes and the main reason they survived at all was the inexplicable desire of workers to live at a distance from their place of work. This resulted in a phenomenon known as ‘the Rush Hour’ when people were herded together in great numbers onto inadequate trains for journeys which could last for several hours. The final downfall of the railways came when climate change produced a new precipitation, known as ‘The wrong type of snow’, and this brought the railways to a halt on frequent occasions. The railways were doomed as a reliable form of transport and gradually we hear less of them. One of the last known references to railways is in YGA 2005, where two renowned speakers were delayed by the railway system causing severe disappointment to the members gathered to hear their presentation.

 


#137:  Author: Kathy_SLocation: midwestern US PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 4:21 pm


Thank you, Professors Choo- :8oo:There is reason to believe that, despite the replacement of railroads with infernal combustion buses, some governments were unable to shake off the psychological constraints of illusory iron rails. Thus, to get from point A to point B, a distance that could be walked in two or three hours, residents of Indianapolis were expected to walk half an hour, take a bus “downtown,” wait an hour, take an “outbound” bus, and recommence walking. The government, bewildered by lagging ridership, reduced service, thus increasing levels of pollution as those capable of maneuvering their own vehicles abandoned public transportation entirely. “Non-drivers” found themselves unable to access large areas of the city, and increasingly marginalized by society.

 


#138:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 4:33 pm


Brilliant Patmac, as usual. Of course the significance of rail travel can be seen in the way one of the books is almost solely deicated to a journey made by the majority of the Maynard family when moving house. I also have to wonder at the significance of the fact that it is normally the women and children who travel by rail in these books, the males often driving, sometimes in advance, sometimes following later.

 


#139:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 5:08 pm


Good point, Carolyn. I do wish PatMac would come up with an explanation for all those trunks they took with them on their journey to the Oberland. They never opened them, gave everyone a lot of work, and could have been sent as unaccompanied luggage, arriving at the same time as the furniture van.

 


#140:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 5:48 pm


*Giggling at the comments*Perhaps Professors Choo - Choo will explain some of those points one day!It should keep them in research papers and intergalactic trips to conferences for a good long while. Twisted Evil

 


#141:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 6:50 pm


And the phenomenon of raising the price of rail travel at peak times - supposedly so that this will reduce overcrowding as people will travel off-peak......The fact that people must travel then, they have no choice, and that therefore all this does is raise revenue for the train companies has, I'm sure, not even been considered by the bosses. Lesley with cynical head firmly on today! Thanks Pat!

 


#142:  Author: PatLocation: Doncaster PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:18 pm


Jennie wrote:
Good point, Carolyn. I do wish PatMac would come up with an explanation for all those trunks they took with them on their journey to the Oberland. They never opened them, gave everyone a lot of work, and could have been sent as unaccompanied luggage, arriving at the same time as the furniture van.
But that would mean they wouldn't need to use the expandable motor car!!!!

 


#143:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:56 pm


A wonderful study. Although having never been subject to the problems of the wrong type or snow, or indeed, its cousin, leaves on the line, I fear I lack the practical experience necessary to make a full comment. Thanks Pat Very Happy JackieJ

 


#144:  Author: SusanLocation: Carlisle PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 1:35 am


Thanks Pat, very funny. It is a long time since I was on a train. Due to the fact I would rather use my infernal combustion engine to get me there without hassle and probably at less cost.

 


#145:  Author: DawnLocation: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 1:37 am


Wonderful and Professor A Beck is very pleased with his mention (think he's beginning to see something in this CBB lark Very Happy)

 


#146:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:57 am


Thanks PatMac - trains have always been a bit of a mystery, but you've explained them beeyoutifully Liz

 


#147:  Author: NicciLocation: UK PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 6:54 pm


yey, caught up again. this gets better and better Patmac.

 


#148:  Author: pimLocation: Helmel Hampster PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:36 pm


Brilliant PatMac! Have been victim to all of the above complaints re the railways at some point or another in the last 5 years, maybe they could be explained like the floods - men behaving badly? Laughing

 


#149:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 5:44 pm


Is there any more of this? Asked in a pathetic voice that might become a whinging whine.

 


#150:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 8:07 pm


Sorry, Jennie. RL has not left me with the time. I haven't forgotten it and, in odd moments, the bunnies whisper in my ear. I'll get back to it when RL has been kicked into submission. Confused

 


#151:  Author: JennieLocation: Cambridgeshire PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 12:54 pm


After reading what you put in COT, PatMac, I'm not surprised. sorry for whinging. Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

 


#152:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:30 pm


Originally a bedtime drabble for the non-gathering party Wink

Abseiling : Theory and Practice by Dr Jackie J. Lachenais, Renowned Mountaineer and Leader of the successful 4895 Expedition to climb the Peaks of Mons Olympus. How the CBBers survived the trauma of The Cliffs

Dr Jackie strode to the Rostrum, fully kitted out in climbing gear, a full set of karabiners, quick draws and belays hung from her belt. Looking extremely competent in a superb lightweight one-piece waterproof breathable suit for high mountain use. http://www.needlesports.com/acatalog/Mail_Order_Waterproofs_59.html and wearing a fetching beanie hat http://www.needlesports.com/acatalog/Mail_Order_Prana_46.html she was accompanied by two assistants carrying a pile of similar clothing.

“Come along girls!” she cried. “The theory is no good without the practice.”

Chivvied along by Professor Beck’s staff, the delegates were, willy nilly inserted into the appropriate gear and , with full harnesses fitted over the unaccustomed clothing, were escorted up to the roof. With some trepidation, the delegates beheld a row of ropes, descending out of sight over the edge of the roof.

“Matt. Demonstrate.” Cried Dr Jackie in tones which struck fear into the hearts of the more fragile delegates who were wibbling violently. ”Come along girls, stand near the edge so you can see the technique.” A few delegates crept nearer to the edge and Professor Beck was horrified to see that some had closed their eyes as they approached the yawning chasm.

“Err …..” said Professor Beck.

“Go, Matt!” exclaimed Dr Jackie, with no regard for the interruption. Matt went. At least half the delegates completely missed his flawless technique, due to the aforementioned closed eyes. “Girls!” cried Dr Jackie. Do you really want to go head first down one of Lesley’s cliffs?” There was a general shaking of heads. “Then stop being spineless jellyfish!!! Jess, demonstrate.” A moan arose as the young girl stepped backwards over the edge. A cheer rang out as the brave girl reached the ground safely and gracefully. “Now. Chris.”

“Err, I don’t think …………………….” Spluttered Professor Beck.

Chris stepped back with a jaunty wave. There was a pause, a yell, and he appeared as if by magic at the rooftop and disappeared again.. and again. and again, and again. “Wheeeee!” he cried. “This is fun.” Professor Beck was resignedly dialling for an ambulance when she realised that he was apparently unhurt.

“There, you see! The CBB Jennie Trampolines TM will break your fall if you get it wrong. There’ll be no ice cream for anyone who doesn’t go when I say the word. Now, all together girls Three Two One Go!”

The delegates were between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand was the gaping chasm. On the other was the prospect of missing out on ice cream. They stepped into oblivion.

 


#153:  Author: SusanLocation: Carlisle PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:49 pm


Thank you Pat that was brilliant. I would have ben one of the eyes shut brigade.

 


#154:  Author: PatLocation: Doncaster PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 12:21 am


Nothing would have got me over the edge!! NOTHING!!!!

 


#155:  Author: LesleyLocation: Allhallows, Kent PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:22 pm


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

 


#156:  Author: JackieJLocation: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:22 pm


Laughing :laughing: ROFL ROFL :laughing: Laughing Thank you Pat, I'm not too sure about the outfits though. Shocked Although I suppose if Chris managed it without injury.... Thanks again JackieJ

 


#157:  Author: LizBLocation: Oxon, England PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:55 pm


Lovely PatMac - can picture them all peering trepidatiously over the edge of the cliff! Liz

 


#158:  Author: DawnLocation: Leeds, West Yorks PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:33 am


ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL No wonder the neighbours gave us slightly strange looks at times So good to see this back Pat - thankyou and I hope RL has sorted itself out a bit

 


#159:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 7:57 pm


lol! *slightly odd mental pictures*

 


#160:  Author: dackelLocation: Wolfenbuettel, Germany/Cambridge, England PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:26 pm


I'm giggling helplessly, and lots of people in the library are giving me strange looks. This isn't good, so I'll have to pull myself together. Hhehehehehe...it's not...heheheh...working...hehehehe

 




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