A Cunning Plan........
The CBB -> St Clare's House

#1: A Cunning Plan........ Author: VikkiLocation: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:32 pm


It was Wednesday morning, and at the Helensburgh council offices Mrs MacPherson was studying her schedule for the day. The first two appointments were with familiar households, but the third was an unknown quantity.
"Hmmmmm..." She mused aloud, "Strange name this woman has. Must be a Sassenach!" She flipped through the file until she came to the subject's previous address. "Aye! Just as I thought, and nearly as far south as she could possibly have been. Couldn't have been a Scot with an outlandish name like that!"
She gave an exclamation as she caught sight of the clock. She was going to be late if she didn't get a move on. Cursing under her breath, Mrs MacPherson snatched up her briefcase and the relevant casefiles and dashed out to her car.
Meanwhile, on the Rosneath Peninsular, in a flat above the post office, the 'Sassenach' with the strange name was pottering around, wrapped in a furry blanket, clutching a book. She had packed her two spawn off to school on their respective buses, and had a leisurely morning planned. However, this plan was destined to go awry. If we go back two days, to Monday, we can see why.
The postman had staggered up the outside staircase, bearing a grand total of no less than THIRTEEN parcels, and one letter. No sooner had he rung the doorbell, than the door was wrenched open, and the resident of the property pounced on him with a delighted shriek, which would have done credit to any banshee ever found in Ireland. She wrenched his burden from his grasp, then whirled back inside, slamming the door in his face. Settling herself on the sofa she proceeded to examine her haul.
The letter was tossed down on the end of the sofa, unopened, dismissed as 'boring', while she ripped into the parcels, which, as she expected, contained her eagerly awaited 'Pern' books. The wrappings were tossed down on the end of the sofa (on TOP of the letter...), and she grabbed the first book and started reading, thus rendering herself of no use to either man or beast.
To return to Wednesday morning, (10.45 to be precise) our heroine decided that maybe it was time to have a wash and get dressed (she was becoming aware of a rather odd smell...). Unfortunately, while the flat DID come complete with no less than THREE bathtubs, sadly they were all situated in the garden, rusting away merrily. However, the kitchen WAS equipped with an outsized sink, and by dint of careful manouevering, and a few contortions, (there were times when being double jointed was RATHER useful...) Our strangely titled sassenach was able to squeeze herself into the sink in order to have a bath. (after nearly six weeks in the residence, she had become somewhat of an adept at this bizarre ritual.)
Meanwhile, Mrs MacPherson had pulled into the village car park, and was checking her file for the address.
"Flat above post office," she read aloud, "now, where IS the post office?" She mused.
Looking around, she spied the familiar red and yellow sign, and spotted the iron staircase at the side of the building, leading up to a door. Grabbing her briefcase, she locked the car, and made a beeline for the stairs. Reaching the top, she rang the doorbell, (not realising that it didn't work..) and waited for a reply. After ten minutes she was becoming rather annoyed. Suddenly she realised that what she had thought was a cat in distress was actually an off-key rendition of 'Let's do the Time Warp', and that it was drifting out of the slightly ajar window, next to the door.
Relieved that someone evidently WAS at home after all, she stepped up to the window, intending to tap on it and attract the attention of the occupant. However, the sight which met her eyes, stopped her dead. A naked brunette woman appeared to be taking a bath in the kitchen sink, and as Mrs MacPherson stared open mouthed, the other woman looked up and their eyes met.
It was a toss up who was the most shocked. Mrs MacPherson had never been in such a situation before in her life. Meanwhile, the bather hoisted herself out of the sink and tossed on a dressing-gown (a rather fetching fuschia pink and lime green number...) before wrenching the front door open and demanding "What the hell are you doing peering through my windows?"
Clutching frantically at the shreds of her rapidly vanishing composure, Mrs Mac Pherson introduced herself.
"Good morning. I am Jessie MacPherson from the Helensburgh housing department. I have an appointment for 11 o'clock with a lady by the name of , let me see," as she checked her file, " A Ms Rachel 'the Witch' MacDonald! Might that be you by any chance, madam?"

 


#2:  Author: KatLocation: Swansea PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:33 pm


*Gloats*

Laughing ROFL

Hehehehe....!!!

 


#3:  Author: claireLocation: South Wales PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:11 pm


I thought this was going to be a Blackadder crossover (and was wondering how you'd work it - still in this reality they could all be girls - bunny bite anyone?)
Looking forward to hearing more anyway

 


#4:  Author: Carolyn PLocation: Lancaster, England PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:15 pm


LOLOLOL

Why is Rachel wearing lesley's dressing gown?

 


#5:  Author: francesnLocation: away with the faeries PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:21 pm


*admits she also thought of Blackadder*

Quote:
Unfortunately, while the flat DID come complete with no less than THREE bathtubs, sadly they were all situated in the garden, rusting away merrily. However, the kitchen WAS equipped with an outsized sink, and by dint of careful manouevering, and a few contortions, (there were times when being double jointed was RATHER useful...) Our strangely titled sassenach was able to squeeze herself into the sink in order to have a bath. (after nearly six weeks in the residence, she had become somewhat of an adept at this bizarre ritual.)


LOL!

the sheer randomness!

ETC quotemarks

 


#6:  Author: LianeLocation: Manchester England PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:48 pm


ROFL LMAO
*agrees with the comment about the dressing gown*

 


#7:  Author: VikkiLocation: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:59 pm


francesn wrote:
*admits she also thought of Blackadder*

Quote:
Unfortunately, while the flat DID come complete with no less than THREE bathtubs, sadly they were all situated in the garden, rusting away merrily. However, the kitchen WAS equipped with an outsized sink, and by dint of careful manouevering, and a few contortions, (there were times when being double jointed was RATHER useful...) Our strangely titled sassenach was able to squeeze herself into the sink in order to have a bath. (after nearly six weeks in the residence, she had become somewhat of an adept at this bizarre ritual.)


LOL!

the sheer randomness!

ETC quotemarks



Grin!
The scary thing is Fran that if you go and read Rachel's LJ, you'll find that it's not THAT random after all.......... Wink

 


#8:  Author: patmacLocation: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:49 pm


Inspired, Vikki.

I must admit to wondering why Rachel had Lesley's dressing gown Wink

On the other hand, it is hardly likely that Lesley is the only owner of a
Quote:
rather fetching fuschia pink and lime green number


Perhaps I've missed the latest fashion - again!

 


#9:  Author: SusanLocation: Carlisle PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 12:57 am


LOL. Poor lady from the council, hope things are better when she really does call!

 




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