I Have NO Clue
The CBB -> St Clare's House
#1: I Have NO Clue Author: Gem, Location: Saltash/Aberystwyth PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 5:41 pm

Cath and I agreed, in our mad and procrastinatory moments, that it would be quite fun to work on an FCS together and decided to post it too Smile Apologies to anyone who features in this who objects - no offense is meant! BTW title is courtesy of Cath, purely because we couldn't think of anything else Wink

“Something,” Allykins said ominously, “must be done.”

She was perched on the very same broad windowsill that Francie Wilford had sat on in Excitements at the Chalet School but unbeknownst to her certain juniors had taken advantage of the chaos in the school. When she stood up Allykins would have a broad white patch across her skirt, courtesy of the newest Junior, Rosie. But the torturous murder which would follow Allykins’ (and therefore Xeno’s) discovery of this indignation would not come for some time - wouldn’t be much of a story otherwise!

“Excuse me,” Allykins interrupted herself, forgetting that she hadn’t been talking, to glare at Rosalie Dene. The school secretary was taking minutes for the meeting – after all, she thought bitterly, she ran the whole school single-handedly whilst Hilda was chatting at Freudisheim (the ‘study scenes’ actually consisted of a very realistic dummy and a tape recording) - why shouldn’t she attend the plotting meetings? “Could you keep to the subject, please?”

Gemmykins made a valiant attempt to sit up in the Co-op trolley in which she had been languishing. “What exactly is the point?” she asked sensibly, since no-one had been aware of any problem before Allykins’ pronouncement.

“It is rather unusual,” Cathikins said rather timidly, before hiding again as she received a stern glare from She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (but already has) – the dreaded Big Sister.

RTW (henceforth known as RTR) sniffed as she adjusted her fairy costume. “Well, I think you’re being very unfair!” she addressed Allykins. “If the Abbess wants to dress up as Tinky-Winky, then we should respect that!”

“Oh, yes, I agree,” Allykins nodded as she thought fondly of her own Dipsy costume in the back of her cupboard.

“But where is LaLa?” Vikkikins asked plaintively. “I like Po better though – he’s the shiniest.”

This sparked off an interesting debate, in which Rosie declared loudly that none of the teletubbies deserved to be called shiny – whereupon Cathikins gasped loudly and collapsed to remain still, grey and to all appearances dead forevermore… …















just kidding.

At that moment, Gemmykins suddenly caused a diversion by standing up in her trolley and screaming at the top of her voice. “A mouse! Oh, no, an awful smelly mouse!” She wasn’t scared herself, of course, but knew that Cathikins would be. It was a cunning plan – Cathikins stopped waiting for doctors to appear and jumped into the trolley.

Allykins giggled. “Silly Gemmykins, that's no mouse!” Xeno growled threateningly and flexed his furry muscles, at which Gemmykins hid behind Cathikins. Allykins resisted the urge to pat Gemmykins, knowing that to do so without the safety of an awful lot of space between them would result in almost certain death. Instead, she decided it was time to recall them to the horrifying situation in which they had found themselves. “It’s not so much the Teletubbies, it’s the rest of the costumes!” she explained, her own private indignation being that Herr Laubach did Graham Thorpe an injustice.

“Not all of them.” Jenny-Lou proclaimed. “Jamesy does make a rather dashing James Bond.” Thus she swooned rather effectively, keeping one eye open in watch for the doctors. Or even better, Mr Bond himself.

“Yes, I’ll grant he doesn’t look too bad,” Allykins agreed rather dreamily. “Still,” she snapped back to attention, helped by a swift pinch from Pimmykins. “Miss Derwent as Victoria Beckham, Miss Wilmot and Miss Ferrars as Trinny and Susannah…”

“And Miss Andrews as Po,” Vikkikins added rather sulkily. Rosie said nothing, but thought happily of the burnt Po costume in her cupboard.

Gemmykins perked up visibly, remembering something she had seen earlier that day. “I'm glad they didn't leave out Buffy,” she said. “But we had better be extra careful to keep out of Matron's way today. I don't like the look of that stake.”

“It's a very evil looking stake,” Pimmykins agreed.

“Very wooden,” Allykins added, just for effect. “And pointy.”

“Matron is Buffy?” Cazx gasped in horror, but was saved from screaming by Katkin flinging a hand over her mouth.

“Don’t be an idiot!” Katkin said firmly, stuffing some chocolate crunchie slice into Cazx’s mouth to keep her quiet. “Matey’s Buffy, silly! If she hears someone screaming, she’ll come running. And do you want that?”

Cazx shook her head, happily occupied for the meantime with fighting Pimmy for the chocolate slices. Since it’s requisite for all Chalet School girls to fight for chocolate wherever possible, there will be a short intermission in this drabble as the authors want to make sure they don’t miss out.

Last edited by Gem on Thu Mar 10, 2005 7:25 pm; edited 3 times in total

 

#2:  Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 5:53 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL Gem and Cath you can't stop me from laughing, so funny! Loved the last line! Well actually I just loved all of it!

 

#3:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:09 pm

Rolling Eyes At Gemmikins and Cathikins Very very mad, but most cheering!!! :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL :laughing: ROFL

 

#4:  Author: Lesley, Location: Rochester, Kent PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:10 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Love it, thanks both of you!

 

#5:  Author: patmac, Location: Yorkshire England PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:14 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL Refreshingly mad! Have you had enough chocolate yet?

 

#6:  Author: Alex, Location: Manchester PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:15 pm

I like the chocolate intermission, it sounds like a very good idea.

 

#7:  Author: Gem, Location: Saltash/Aberystwyth PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:00 pm

Once again apologies for those victimised! Also sorry to those we missed out who would have liked to be included - wasn't intentional, I promise!

"Something must be done." Allykins said ominously, giving everyone an eerie sense of deja vu. "While it is rather fun to see Matey practicing taikwondo, I would rather not be faced with death by Mr Pointy." She bared her alligator teeth, which looked uncannily like vampire teeth to Cazx, who swallowed the remains of the chocolate and screamed as loudly as she could.

Rosie hastened to shush Cazx by poking her with a cane that happened to be nearby, lying in wait for unsuspecting Juniors. Cazx’s yelp was perhaps not as quiet as it could have been but since Matron/Buffy had been distracted by Mr Denny (who may have left/died, but since we can’t remember, he is still an integral part of the school) who was dressed as Spike, they were saved for the moment.

Xeno growled threateningly at Gemmykins, who had been twirling herself and Cathikins around in the trolley. She let out a scared yelp and dived headfirst into the depths of the trolley - which, incidentally, seemed to go on to all infinity.

Relucantly, Katkin let go of Pimmy’s hair and allowed her to share out the rest of the chocolate. “I think,” Pimmikins suggested brightly, “that we should just ignore it. It’s clearly a cry for attention.”

"I agree,” Allyins decided suddenly, having just noticed some chocolate which the rest had so far missed – shock horror! “I think we should call this meeting to an end,” she told Rosalie Dene, who had been quite happily sitting behind her typewriter in her Sponge Bob Square Pants costume. “We don’t appear to have achieved a great deal.”

“Oh, I think it’s been rather fun!” Rosalie said happily, realizing why she’d stayed at the school all these years now. “But I agree,” she said sadly, seeing Ally’s frantic nodding towards the remaining chocolate.

Rosie flung open the door with a convenient "Haii-yah!", her fists ready to pummel any Teletubbie that dared venture near her. Halfway through the doorway, she stopped, causing a rather awkward pile-up amongst the rest of the CBBers, and a fairly squashed Xeno underneath them all. "I forgot my stick." Rosie informed them all, and clambered over the pile to fetch her beloved prize. A short game of tug-of-war took place between her and Emily before Rosie claimed her stick and dashed off to see what mayhem she could cause elsewhere.

The rest of them looked at each other warily as Rosie's excited and rather manic yells faded down the corridor. "What do we do now?" A muffled voice - otherwise known as Gemmykins with a trolley on top of her - enquired.

“Dress up?” Pimmy said doubtfully.

“Find James Bond?” Jenny-Lou proposed, her eyes glazing over.

“Eat chocolate?” Cazx asked hopefully.

“Trolley race!” Gemmykins bellowed, elbowing Frances in the ribs to make her move off of her – most unfairly, since it was in fact Vikkikins who was pulling her hair. Cathikins opened her mouth to suggest something else, but she couldn’t think of anything, so she shut it again.

"I think that we should kidnap them," Katkin said gleefully.

“That’s a great idea!” Pimmykins exclaimed. “We’ll just blame it all on Gemmykins!” Since that young lady was occupied in untangling herself from the trolley, Pimmy considered herself sufficiently safe in her statement - which, for a wonder, she was.

“Chocolate?” Cazx repeated.

“Kidnapping will take too long,” Gemmykins moaned, having finally escaped. “Trolley race.” Cathikins decided that this sounded like a fun idea, so she climbed into the trolley behind Gemmykins. Katkin, always quick to spot an opportunity, pushed the trolley outside the room, and gave it a hefty shove. “Whee!” Cathikins exclaimed delightedly, waving her arms in an attempt to make it go faster. Suddenly, they realized that there was no way to stop the trolley and they were fast approaching a wall.

A crash and two yelps informed the rest that they were now three CBBers down. Plus a teddy bear.

"Trolley races didn't work, so we should eat chocolate." Cazx suggested happily.

Allykins squealed and bounced. “Well,” Allykins said brightly. “I think that this has been a very profitable meeting!” At the incredulous looks received from the rest, she flushed and returned to the Splashery, where she made the pleasing discovery that she was covered in white paint. Knowing exactly who to blame, Allykins perched on the windowsill again to plot her revenge. Unfortunately, she took the remaining chocolate – which she had hidden in her hair (don’t ask me, ask her) – with her. Two hours later, whilst still plotting, Allykins unfortunately expired from an overdose of chocolate.

"We're down four CBBers," Pimmikins exclaimed in horror after discovering Allykins. She was, admittedly, rather jealous, because what better way to go than by chocolate? But Allykins had eaten all of the chocolate, much to their dismay.

Cazx burst into tears. "I wanted more chocolate!" She wailed, her cries getting louder and louder, despite Pimmikins’ desperate attempts to shush her. The door suddenly flew open and the remaining CBBers screamed at the horrifying image in front of them...

Matron.

And Mr Pointy.

Cazx whimpered and ran to hide in the cupboard. Unfortunately, she forgot about the dreadful mess that the Juniors had left in there, and upon opening the doors, found herself buried underneath a mound of puzzles, books and games.

“Five down,” Pimmykins whispered, counting down on her fingers. She stared around her and sat down to wonder how many were left. Five hours later saw her still there, by which time the rest of the conspirators had been removed/extinguished in various horrible ways and Pimmykins and Xeno sat down together to mourn. When that got boring, they started to plot. But that is a story for another day.

In the meantime, there were still five CBBers remaining - Frances had been sadly bitten to death by her plot bunnies - and Rosalie Dene was desperately trying to keep track, until she decided that it was too much like work and sat down to watch and enjoy.

Katkin and Vikkikins were happily arguing in the corner, as they were apt to do – until the arguing became a bit too ferocious and there were only three left.

RTW was, meanwhile, busy flitting around the room practicing being a fairy. “Bet you can’t really fly,” Emily taunted.

"Bet I can." RTW said, before clambering up on the table and leaping off, wiggling her wings. She succeeded for nearly a minute, whilst Jenny-Lou stared, but the staring broke RTW's concentration, and sadly RTW landed on her and then there was one.

Matron stared around the room, waving Mr Pointy threateningly. “What, exactly, is going on here?” she asked in her most withering manner, glaring down at Emily, who was the only one remaining. The glare did exactly what it was meant to do and now there were none.

Three hours later, after a ‘study scene’ with a tearful Rosie and Pim, the latter clutching a little teddy bear, Miss Annersley sat back in her seat and cast a regretful glance at the Tinky-Winky costume. Perhaps, she thought sadly, it would be better to warn the girls next time they dressed up for charity.

Last edited by Gem on Thu Mar 10, 2005 7:40 pm; edited 3 times in total

 

#8:  Author: Ally, Location: Jack Maynard's Dressing Room!! PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:08 pm

I need more chocolate!!!Xeno is a clever bear coming back to life, I think you were too scared of being eaten again!!Thank you both sooooooooooooo much, twas brilliant Very Happy

 

#9:  Author: Emily, Location: Land of White Coats and Stethoscopes. PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:20 pm

Shocked :pale: Shocked Very scared of Matey/ Buffy hybrid!! But that was hilarious, thanks Gem and Cath! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

#10:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:33 pm

Just thought I would helpfully point out that Witches do not die - they bide their time and have their revenge when least suspected...

 

#11:  Author: Gem, Location: Saltash/Aberystwyth PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:40 pm

*eebles and hides*

 

#12:  Author: Rachel, Location: Plotting in my lair PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:12 pm

Poor Gemima Throttle Bottom Smythe. Quit your eebling and start panicking instead.

 

#13:  Author: Gem, Location: Saltash/Aberystwyth PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:18 pm

*panics obediently*

 

#14:  Author: Vikki, Location: Sitting on an iceberg, freezing to death!!! PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:51 pm

Oh dear!! Some people DO like living dangerously...... Wink

 

#15:  Author: Chloë, Location: London/Southampton: when away from home planet! PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 11:01 pm

hehehe i'm glad my flat mates are out as i've sat here laughing away!

 

#16:  Author: Kat, Location: Swansea PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 11:25 pm

Rolling Eyes And just what have you two been taking this time? Wink

 

#17:  Author: Miss Di, Location: Newcastle, NSW PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 11:55 pm

I'm just gigling over the image of Mr Denny as Spike I'm OK with the bleached look - But surely he didn'tcut his hair!!?? You ladies are quite quite mad. I'm sure there is something in the water over there that isn't in the water here.

 

#18:  Author: Cazx, Location: Swansea/Bristol PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:12 pm

You two are crazy, funny, girls! Laughing

 

#19:  Author: LizB, Location: Oxon, England PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 2:33 pm

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Miss Di wrote:
You ladies are quite quite mad. I'm sure there is something in the water over there that isn't in the water here.
Preparing to bottle some and send it to you Miss Di Liz

 

#20:  Author: Emily, Location: Land of White Coats and Stethoscopes. PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 3:33 pm

Rachel wrote:
Just thought I would helpfully point out that Witches do not die - they bide their time and have their revenge when least suspected...
They can melt!! Wink Maybe Matron saw to that 'offstage'?

 

#21:  Author: JackieJ, Location: Kingston upon Hull PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 9:55 pm

Shocked Huh Shocked Sorry, I'm just trying to get that into my brain making sense. Nah, it'll never do that. Hilarious ladies. ROFL Very Happy ROFL JackieJ

 

#22:  Author: Ann, Location: Newcastle upon Tyne, England PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:04 pm

You know, sometimes I find myself thinking that MSN is A Bad Thing. My poor brain...

 

#23:  Author: francesn, Location: away with the faeries PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:09 pm

yay i got drabbled!!! although i did get eaten.....

 

#24:  Author: pim, Location: St Andrews (right next to the beach) PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:22 pm

*le hysterical laughter* Gemmy and Cath... What am I plotting and hatching with Xeno? *eebles*

 

#25:  Author: Mihiri, Location: surrey england PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:25 pm

Thanks Gem and Cath. I have been laughing so much, I think my mother has doubts as to my sanity!

 

#26:  Author: Nell, Location: London, England PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 10:29 am

Wonderfully refeshingly mad!!!! Thank you Gemy and Cathikins!

 

#27:  Author: Xenophon, Location: Down the side of the bed - Help! PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 4:02 pm

pim wrote:
*What am I plotting and hatching with Xeno? *eebles*
Quite likely some chaos, mischief and mayhem!!ty for bringing me back to life, you have escaped punishment, for now.......... Twisted Evil

 

The CBB -> St Clare's House


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