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#1: Walk partner etiquette Author: Joyce, Location: Hong Kong

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:36 pm
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It occured to me while reading the unabridged version of Theodora just how seriously the Chalet girls took the choosing of walk partners.

They actually formally 'booked' partners day by day and I have visions of the more popular girls carrying walk cards similar to dance cards around with them for their friends to fill in.

In Theodora, Margot has a fight with Len and Con regarding walk partners and she says she can't change Francie from Tuesday because it's the only day they both happen to have free.

Then in Ruey, Margot has a bust up with Francie and Con about who her walk partners should be. Margot seems to have problems with her walk partners Smile

And doesn't Mary-Lou get told at some that she was walking with Verity one week and Vi the next and it was Hilary's turn. But Mary-Lou was already walking that week with Jessica.

And every now and then you read about a girl 'sacrificing' herself to walk with an unpopular girl eg Barbara and Prunella.

When did walk partners become such a serious thing? Was there any real etiquette surrounding it ie you couldn't always walk with your best friend?

If you were not popular and didn't have a partner, did that mean you were left to fight it out with the other leftovers?

Cheers,
Joyce

#2: Author: Róisín, Location: Ireland

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:49 pm
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Gosh you've really opened a can of worms there! I'd never thought of it like that before but now you've drawn the comparison with dance cards, that is *exactly* what it seems like (I'm sure *I* would have needed to write it down anyway, in order to remember who was with me the next day).

And why all the bother? They croc through the Platz, but then they are allowed to break ranks and mingle etc. The Platz is no more than three miles long, so how long were they with the partner anyhow?

#3: Author: Alison H, Location: Manchester

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:05 pm
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It's the same in the Dimsie books, and in some of the other GO books as well - including What Katy Did At School in which people actually describe themselves as being "engaged" to X, Y or Z for the walk like it's a major formal commitment.

It must have been awful for those people who didn't have a best friend/weren't part of a group Crying or Very sad

#4: Author: JayB, Location: SE England

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:15 pm
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I think the partners thing is mostly for the walks they had every morning, when they didn't break ranks, rather than for rambles. But those walks can't have lasted very long; half an hour, maybe.

Three miles could take up to an hour to walk, especially for the younger ones, so that could be quite a long while to be stuck with someone you didn't particularly like. Or sometimes I think we're told it's someone who can't (yet) speak the language for the day very well, so you can't have much conversation.

I imagine it was the form prefect's responsibility to ensure that the less popular girls weren't always left without partners, and to walk with them herself if necessary. Plus it would be part of the good manners expected of every CS girl to take turns with the new or less popular girls.

#5: Author: Lolly, Location: Back in London

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:20 pm
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We had the same system when I was at junior school, for the walk to lunch (the school dining room was a 5 minute walk away from our building)! As far as I can remember, you chose your partner by the week and the popular girls got booked up miles in advance. Now I come to think of it, when we went on outings we used to book in advance who would be our partner. And squabble about it.

Quote:

It must have been awful for those people who didn't have a best friend/weren't part of a group .

Yup. That was me for a good long time. I was quite a weird kid.... Laughing

#6: Author: Jenefer, Location: London

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:50 pm
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Perhaps there were rules about talking when walking? In "No Time for Romance" by Lucilla Andrews, she describes how they were only allowed to talk to their pair when walking in crocodile. So it must have been very important to have the right partner.

#7: Author: Róisín, Location: Ireland

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:04 pm
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Maybe a factor was control - this was one area of their day that they had absolute control over (choosing that conversation partner for the length of the walk) so they really made the most of the option.

#8: Author: Sunglass, Location: Usually London

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:54 pm
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Those walks - the morning ones where you had to croc - are never presented as being particularly attractive, more for a blast of fresh air before morning lessons than fun occasions, and the girls almost never seem to have a say in the route, so maybe the importance of partners was that this was the only real variable! Plus, given how busy the CS days were - every second is filled with lessons or some form of group activity - it would have been one of the relatively few regular times where you could talk uninterruptedly (and legitimately) to your particular friend.

But the original poster is right - it does seem to bet aken uncommonly seriously.

#9: Author: Joyce, Location: Hong Kong

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:29 am
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Just realised that I posted this in the wrong place - should have gone into Anything Else.

Have moved thread to AE at your request, R.

Sorry if I have broken any board etiquette rules, but I assure you it was completely unintentional.

Reading the replies, I think they are right in saying that the walk is often the only time the girls could have for a private chat with their best friends.

Also a chance to say "this is my friend" but it tends to become a bit possessive. Look at the way in Lintons when Simone gets distressed because Gillian asks Jo to be her walk partner.

In Theodora Margot tries to get Len to break her promise to help Ted by asking her to be her walk partner. Len refuses and Margot stomps off mad. Len then asks Con what the big deal was and Con says "I can guess.." and looks all knowing. Len then guesses the reason and turns red.

Does Con mean Margot wanted to 'stamp' her position as Len's friend/sister to the whole world by walking with her? Or does she simply wanted to keep Len too busy to help Ted?

Seriously, the first time I read this I'd obviously been reading far too many teen romances, because I thought Len had turned red because she realised Margot had ummm... 'feelings' for her. Embarrassing I know.

Cheers,
Joyce

#10: Author: Rosie, Location: Land of Three-Quarters Sky

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 1:18 pm
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I suppose the importance is partly that teenage girl thing where it is Very Important that so-and-so is MY friend and not with someone else and does-she-still-like-me woe-angst etc. Any slight becomes so deadly serious, presumably more so when you're with these people all the time... *not cut out to be a secondary school teacher - it would drive me mad!*

#11: Author: alicat, Location: Wiltshire

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 3:29 pm
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I think that teen bit is probably right - my daughter does it now over partners for things like lab work and cooking, where it is seen as a 'compliment' to be asked to be a working partner by someone who's good at the subject.

and she gets v stressy if they get allocatd partners by the teachers rather than allowed to choose, so I think the choice and control biut come sinto it too.

I always imagined it was a bit like that awful picking rounders teams thing, where apart from the one who didn't get picked cos they were totally unpopular the two team leaders always picked their friends first and the rest of you stood round knowing that the order you were picked and for which team said something about how popular you were.....

#12: Author: Lolly, Location: Back in London

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 3:47 pm
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Isn't there something very similar in 'What Katy Did at School' - where Cousin Lilly wants to walk with Rose because she is popular and gets very upset when she's arranged her partner for the walk to church for the whole term in advance?

#13: Author: Mrs Redboots, Location: London, UK

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:42 pm
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Alison H wrote:

It must have been awful for those people who didn't have a best friend/weren't part of a group Crying or Very sad

It was. Totally, utterly bloody - the absolute worst thing about school. The place I was at, the boarding-houses were, in those days, about a mile away from the school proper, and you had to walk (cycle, when a little older) to and from four times a day - each time, with a partner. But, of course, you were not allowed to walk with anybody who wasn't in your year, or your house.... and if you weren't popular, as I wasn't, the problem of finding a partner was immense.

#14: Author: miss_maeve, Location: Buckinghamshire, UK

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:57 am
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Mrs Redboots wrote:

Alison H wrote:

It must have been awful for those people who didn't have a best friend/weren't part of a group Crying or Very sad

But what would happen if, as must have happened sometimes, there were an odd number of girls, leaving one always with no partner? Would that girl have needed to wait for a teacher to be going along to the boarding house?

#15: Author: Mrs Redboots, Location: London, UK

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:04 pm
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You had to tag along as a third with a couple of girls who didn't want you tagging along but had to put up with it.

#16: Author: Joyce, Location: Hong Kong

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:26 am
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Having to tag along is the worst, the absolute worst. And there is NOTHING, nothing like a teenage girl for making you feel left out and unwanted.

At the Chalet school there were unwritten rules that no girl was allowed to wander round on her own - mainly I guess because of sheer safety reasons, but also because it was simply not polite to leave a girl alone.

And when they broke ranks they had to stay in groups of at least three. Both Mary-Lou and Len on more than one occasion notice that a person is on their own and asks them to join their group, which I always thought was a nice thing for them to do.

Be nice if more schools enforced rules like that.

At my school we had no such rules and I was forever being left out. My best friends were all in another class so when my class went walkies Smile

I was always forced to tag along with aother pair.

For one entire term I had to walk with two boys! This was at the age before boys became 'interesting' and of course the other girls thought it was hilarious.

Cheers,
Joyce

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