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If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...
http://www.the-cbb.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=7151

Author:  Catherine [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:45 pm ]
Post subject:  If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

This or something similar is said, I think, to Richenda by Miss Ferrars, (again, I think) and seems to be a common theme. I'm just wondering what other people think about it - if I'd been told that as a nervous, homesick, new girl on my first day, I'd probably have burst into tears or run away! It doesn't seem a particularly friendly way to greet new girls who are supposed to be made to feel welcome from the start.

Is it just another example of EBD thinking the CS can do no wrong?

Author:  cestina [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I suppose it is meant to be heartening and encouraging but it is extraordinarily clumsy. I was happy enough at boarding school - at least I think I was when I look back at it from a perspective of fifty years or so - but if I read my diaries of the time I suffered from quite appalling homesickness.

I think most of us did when we first started and it came back every term, right to the end. There were times when it was completely overwhelming. So yes, happy when doing things, mostly happy with the work, finding lots of things that were thoroughly enjoyable but always the pall hanging over me of missing home, parents, pets and, in addition for me, the dreadful fear that something would go wrong whilst I was away.

The idea of blame for one's own unhappiness is not a helpful thing to put into a child's mind as she leaves home, maybe for the first time

Author:  Thursday Next [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I would have found it dreadful. I hated boarding school and in fact stayed for less than two years before the school suggested it was not the right place for me and thankfully I left. If there had been additional pressure suggesting that this was my own fault I think this would have been worse.

Author:  Alison H [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I suppose she just meant that it was a very happy school - which sounds like something you'd say in a prospectus and which isn't necessary true in practice - but it isn't really very well put. No sympathy is shown to Jessica (the reaction to her refusal to eat is to threaten to force-feed her), to Odette (who is described as a "wet blanket") or to girls like Joan and Yseult who are obviously having problems settling in.

It seems to get worse as the years go on and everyone seems more and more reluctant to admit that the CS can do anything wrong. Earlier on, we get Jo being blamed for Eustacia's unhappiness (which was extremely unfair of Miss Wilson, but at least she didn't try to make out that it was all Eustacia's own fault that she was unhappy) and Madge telling some of the girls that the feud with St Scholastika's was six of one and half a dozen of the other, but later on it seems that the CS is perfect and anything that goes wrong must be someone else's fault :( .

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

It's always struck me as being rather unecessary! Just saying that all the girls there are happy would have been enough, I think. But at the same time, I think it believeable that Miss A. would have thought like that, because she was so used to problem new girls shaking down and settling in, and there are so few expulsions at the CS, that surely it can't be the fault of anyone already there... Her phrasing could have been better, though, especially from one who is supposed to be so down on bad English!

Author:  fraujackson [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Alison H wrote:
I suppose she just meant that it was a very happy school - which sounds like something you'd say in a prospectus and which isn't necessary true in practice - but it isn't really very well put. No sympathy is shown to Jessica (the reaction to her refusal to eat is to threaten to force-feed her), to Odette (who is described as a "wet blanket") or to girls like Joan and Yseult who are obviously having problems settling in.


I've got a general impression of the staff sitting round discussing 'girls with problems'/'problem girls' on occasion but none of them being very active about finding out why these problems have arisen or wondering what to do about it (apart from dealing with the result - forcefeeding Jessica - rather than treating the cause.) (Is Miss. Ferrars an exception to this ? There's something at the back of my mind, but it might be OOAO going to her for permission to carry out a scheme of her own - because Kathie is 'approachable', rather than her actually doing something for a girl herself.)

Why are the staff presented like this ? Is it stemming from the idea that any intervention by an authority figure would be rejected by an unhappy girl as interference on the part of the system she feels is responsible for her unhappiness ? Or because the CS wants the girls to grow up to be 'strong and independent', 'capable of standing on their own feet' (IIRC Mary-Lou says something like this to Len in [i]Theodora[i]) ? Or is EMB just using staff passivity as a plot device so that Joey/Mary Lou/Len can be brought into the story ? Or something else ?

Author:  JB [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

If she were saying "We do everything we can to ensure our pupils are happy", it would be a very different thing but that is very insensitively worded. I think i'd have been unhappy to hear that on my first day at boarding school (and particularly when i'd left home in such unhappy circumstances).

Frau Jackson - are you thinking of Mary Lou asking to go on the half term trip with the triplets in Theodora?

Author:  fraujackson [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

JB wrote:
Frau Jackson - are you thinking of Mary Lou asking to go on the half term trip with the triplets in Theodora?


I am, I think. Miss Ferrars sits on the desk or something to talk to her.

Author:  Abi [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

fraujackson wrote:
Why are the staff presented like this ? Is it stemming from the idea that any intervention by an authority figure would be rejected by an unhappy girl as interference on the part of the system she feels is responsible for her unhappiness ? Or because the CS wants the girls to grow up to be 'strong and independent', 'capable of standing on their own feet' (IIRC Mary-Lou says something like this to Len in [i]Theodora[i]) ? Or is EMB just using staff passivity as a plot device so that Joey/Mary Lou/Len can be brought into the story ? Or something else ?


I suspect that from EBD's point of view it was to give Mary-Lou a chance to work her magic. But from any other point of view it does seem like either obtuseness or a considered decision not to interfere. I can only suppose it's because they think it would make the situation worse, but it does seem like an odd attitude.

Author:  Sunglass [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Alison H wrote:
I suppose she just meant that it was a very happy school - which sounds like something you'd say in a prospectus and which isn't necessary true in practice


Yes, that's exactly it, it's prospectus-speak which we all recognise can't be true for everyone, all the time, in reality. I'm sure AF's Kingscote had exactly the same thing about a 'happy convivial atmosphere etc' in its prospectus, but, even though the twins are terribly proud to be going there for the first time, and Nicola is heartbroken when it looks as though she has to leave, no one pretends everyone is permanently happy there!

But EBD idealises her beloved CS to the extent that she doesn't distinguish between prospectus-speak and what actually happens in a big institution which will inevitably suit some more than others. People are obviously unhappy for more or less long periods at all times during the CS timeline, for various reasons, some of them to do with family and the San, or family troubles - or Odette Mercier and Joan Baker are only two more of the more obvious Swiss-era people whose unhappiness isn't their fault. It's a bit like when Con or Len or Joey repeatedly tell newcomers that Freudesheim is truly a 'happy home' and that they're not to forget it - when in fact it's a normal family with its own problems of illness and badly-behaved children etc.

Agree that the staff passivity in the Swiss books is mainly to allow either Joey, Mary-Lou or Len to intervene, though it does make the mistresses look somewhat callous or incompetent, which EBD surely doesn't intend.

Author:  Miss Di [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Sunglass wrote:
Yes, that's exactly it, it's prospectus-speak which we all recognise can't be true for everyone, all the time, in reality. I'm sure AF's Kingscote had exactly the same thing about a 'happy convivial atmosphere etc' in its prospectus, but, even though the twins are terribly proud to be going there for the first time, and Nicola is heartbroken when it looks as though she has to leave, no one pretends everyone is permanently happy there!


But Nicola isn't heartbroken at leaving her school - she is heartbroken over leaving her friends - and that is about the same reaction I had when I changed schools at the end of year 11.

Author:  Cel [ Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Sunglass wrote:
or Odette Mercier and Joan Baker are only two more of the more obvious Swiss-era people whose unhappiness isn't their fault.


I'd agree about Odette - but Joan Baker is a bully and a brat when she first arrives at the Chalet School. I do accept that the differences in home and background probably would have meant a difficult time fitting in even if she was a nicer girl - and EBD sends very mixed messages about the whole class issue - but Joan didn't exactly endear herself to anyone with her behaviour during the first term. I think she has to shoulder at least part of the blame for her early unhappiness herself.

(Sorry, a bit OT!)

Author:  Nightwing [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

The treatment of Joan Baker confuses me a little, because in New Mistress she gets voted as one of the class officers, which you'd assume would mean that she's managed to endear herself to her classmates at least a little. But then we have girls like Rikki Fry, who I guess we're meant to relate to (?) not liking Joan at first sight, Joan rubbing Ruey the wrong way because she doesn't like lacrosse, and Joan getting snubbed by Naomi. Perhaps EBD had meant to redeem her, but found her a convenient "outsider" to use?

Back to the original question - to me, Miss Ferrar's statement is meant more for the reader than for Rikki.

Author:  Lesley [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Joan Baker is never allowed to completely reform though is she? Yes, she was a bully and a brat when she first started - but a number of other CS girls started that way - Cornelia was just as nasty in her first term, for example. Joan had, by the end of her first term, apologised to all those she had wronged and had promised to do better - and as far as I'm aware never misbehaved again, yet was never considered completely 'one of us' by the rest of her classmates or by the Mistresses. Kathie Ferrars picks up on it in her first term and even after Joan has left she is viewed with disapproval - is it Con that reacts so negatively to her becoming engaged to be married? Even though she's only the same age as her mother Joey was and similar age to her cousin Josette.

I think - going back OT here - that by the end of the series the CS had become, in EBD's eyes, such a paragon that the only way girls could be unhappy was if they themselves were at fault. EBD could not possibly have someone at the school who did not thoroughly enjoy themselves unless they were stubbornly resistant. She had some characters who had very good reasons why they were unhappy (Odette, Jessica, Naomi)but the onus always was that they should change. And her idea that Mistresses not interfere in friendships was somewhat unreasonable given the 'family' nature of the earlier books - it was there to allow the girls to solve problems but did mean that sometimes it left the adult characters (other than Joey) coming across as rather harsh and unfeeling.

Author:  JB [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Lesley wrote:

Quote:
Joan had, by the end of her first term, apologised to all those she had wronged and had promised to do better -....... yet was never considered completely 'one of us' by the rest of her classmates or by the Mistresses. Kathie Ferrars picks up on it in her first term


Kathie's disapproving first impression of Joan is "the girl with a perm". No-one takes the time to get to know the poor girl.

Author:  Sunglass [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Cel wrote:
I'd agree about Odette - but Joan Baker is a bully and a brat when she first arrives at the Chalet School.


Sure, but I'd have said that her bullying at any rate was restricted to Rosamund, and that virtually no one else knew about it, so that can't factor into why she's generally disliked long afterwards. That would come down to her more minor public bad behaviour - wrong clothes, make-up, swearing, over-sophistication - which falls much more into the same realm as the initial behaviour of other problem new girls, who nonetheless manage to integrate eventually. Cornelia is terribly unpleasant when she first arrives, and Grizel is often awful.

If Eustacia, having broken major rules, told tales wholesale, slapped Kitty Burnett violently in the face, 'caused' Miss Wilson's injury and Robin's illness and run away with the intention of publicly ruining the school, can integrate within a term of her return, I just can't feel Joan's initial bad behaviour can be really blamed for her continued unhappiness and failure to fit in, long after her reform. Jack Lambert, for instance, continues to bully, but remains popular and presumably happy.

Not to single out Joan, particularly - but there are others like Odette, or Francie Thingy, who wants to be Margot's friend, or even very minor figures like Sue Whatshername, the withdrawn girl who's only at the CS at all because she's companion to an ill but spoilt and demanding child, who must have been in a difficult position as one of the very few Swiss-era day girls and half-in, half-out of school life, with a 'job' in the evenings and at weekends. Even the golden girl Margot Maynard is troubled quite a lot of her schooldays, but I'm not sure whether we're supposed to see her unhappiness as her 'fault'?

Author:  Alison H [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Richenda takes a dislike to Joan because of her "cheap prettiness". What sort of a reason is that for taking a dislike to a complete stranger?!

Also, we're told that a lot of people take a fancy to Naomi just because of her pretty face.

What a shallow lot!!

Author:  Liz K [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Sunglass wrote:
Not to single out Joan, particularly - but there are others like Odette, or Francie Thingy, who wants to be Margot's friend, or even very minor figures like Sue Whatshername, the withdrawn girl who's only at the CS at all because she's companion to an ill but spoilt and demanding child, who must have been in a difficult position as one of the very few Swiss-era day girls and half-in, half-out of school life, with a 'job' in the evenings and at weekends. Even the golden girl Margot Maynard is troubled quite a lot of her schooldays, but I'm not sure whether we're supposed to see her unhappiness as her 'fault'?


Francie Wilford and Sue Meadows.

Author:  Catherine [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 11:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I think Richenda was told that at the station before she had even met any of the girls and still had to say goodbye to her Nanny.

Kathie did talk to Ricki when she had a letter from her father to say she would have to spend half term at school, I suppose but that's the only instance I can think of where a mistress actually interferes.

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I don't really have anything to add OT, sorry, but I just wanted to argue for Eustacia's cause! The fact that she integrates within her first term back sounds odd like that, but she had however long at Die Rosen first when she recuperated, during which she was interacting with the girls in a different manner. By the time she returns she has Joey championing her cause, which must have helped a lot, and people who tell Kitty - who doesn't automatically accept her - that she needs to forgive and forget because Stacie is changed.

Author:  Cel [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Sunglass wrote:
Sure, but I'd have said that her bullying at any rate was restricted to Rosamund, and that virtually no one else knew about it, so that can't factor into why she's generally disliked long afterwards. That would come down to her more minor public bad behaviour - wrong clothes, make-up, swearing, over-sophistication - which falls much more into the same realm as the initial behaviour of other problem new girls, who nonetheless manage to integrate eventually. Cornelia is terribly unpleasant when she first arrives, and Grizel is often awful.


Yes, that's fair enough. I just wouldn't see Joan as someone who remains really unhappy at the CS beyond that first difficult term, or who is 'generally disliked' by the rest of the school. It's true that she never seems to fit in completely, and EBD makes lots of unpleasant little digs about her appearance and her 'cheap' ways, but Joan still seems to get on ok, she's touched when she gets elected to a position of responsibility within the form, and in the conversations about lacrosse and so on we see her apparently getting on well with the rest of that gang. It's probably a fairly realistic (if a little depressing) depiction of somebody trying to fit in with a group whose background and experiences are so different from her own.

Author:  Alison H [ Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

It really annoys me that Joan Baker and Betty Landon are never given any credit for their brave actions in Richenda, when they help several other girls to cross a dangerous stretch of water.

Author:  Caroline [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Interesting thread.

Funnily enough, I'd never taken Kathie's comment in that way. I took it more to mean "we (the school) will do our best to ensure that you're happy here, but we can't do everything - after that it's up to you".

With the whole passive staff thing, well, it is a girls school book, written for girls and read by girls. EBD is actually quite unusual for showing much of the staff side of things in the first place. Perhaps she just felt her readers would rather that most things were sorted out amongst the girls, rather than having the staff wade in every time things were going awry.

And some angst is more interesting from a plot POV, rather than lots of nice neat staff-y resolutions.

Author:  Sunglass [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Caroline wrote:

With the whole passive staff thing, well, it is a girls school book, written for girls and read by girls. EBD is actually quite unusual for showing much of the staff side of things in the first place. Perhaps she just felt her readers would rather that most things were sorted out amongst the girls, rather than having the staff wade in every time things were going awry.


I think we don't expect the staff to solve things in other school stories, because there's not much focus on them, and/or because they're presented as faulty, feeble,eccentric, or simply not that involved with the girls outside of actual lessons. But EBD does set up the CS staff as paragons of virtue, fairness, sensitivity, all-seeingness and general poppethood, one and all, and gives them huge amounts of knowledge about each girl, so their apparent passivity/ignorance in situations of evident unhappiness or bullying in the late books does clash more than in other GO stories, even if it's obvious it's because EBD wants something sorted by Joey/OOAO/Len.

I don't think it would stick out so much if EBD tried to include a plausible reason why the staff don't know about, or can't cope with some particular situation, but Joey/Len/Mary-Lou can. Maybe if she allowed us to see a mistress trying and failing to deal with something, before it gets passed on to someone else...? But presumably EBD doesn't want to show Hilda or someone actually not managing the miracle.

Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Sunglass wrote:
But presumably EBD doesn't want to show Hilda or someone actually not managing the miracle.

But Hilda is actually very encouraging and sympthetic to Nina when the latter arrives at the school - and Nina feels that the Abbess understands her perfectly and that she has said just the right things. The words might not be what we would say today, in that there is till that stiff upper lip thing, but to my mind she succeeds admirably with a pupil she doesn't yet know. And I think it reminds one that she's been through it all herself, losing her mother when she was only 13.

Author:  Emma A [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

MaryR wrote:
Sunglass wrote:
But presumably EBD doesn't want to show Hilda or someone actually not managing the miracle.

But Hilda is actually very encouraging and sympthetic to Nina when the latter arrives at the school - and Nina feels that the Abbess understands her perfectly and that she has said just the right things. The words might not be what we would say today, in that there is till that stiff upper lip thing, but to my mind she succeeds admirably with a pupil she doesn't yet know. And I think it reminds one that she's been through it all herself, losing her mother when she was only 13.

Yes, but Nina isn't actively unhappy at school, and feels from the start that they are making allowances for her music. It's only her spat with Hilda Jukes which causes her real unhappiness, and it's Joey who sorts that out - though admittedly without EBD showing us how!

Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Yes, but Nina is very unhappy - grieving - and Hilda goes out of her way to find the right words to help, Emma. You all seem to be saying that no one helps the girls in their unhappinesses and I would agree to some extent - though there was a lot of stiff upper lip attitude in life in general at that point - but I just felt that the other side needed to be pointed out a little. :lol: :lol:

Hilda also goes out of her way at one point - not sure which book - to go and remonstrate with Sue's aunt, because she felt that the poor girl was getting a raw deal. So the girls are not always left without sympathy and encouragement. :? I should add that I agree with Caroline that Kathy was more likely saying that it's not just up to the school, but the girls themselves, as well, to make the most of their opportunities while at school.

I shall now tiptoe quietly away so as to hide my renegade hero-worship of a certain Headmistress..... :mrgreen: :hiding:

Author:  Emma A [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I see what you mean, Mary. I suppose one forgets about that sort of remark (the putting at ease bit) because it's so smoothly done and EBD doesn't make a fuss over it. I suppose what we really meant were the problems which arise at school, as a result of it, and which you would more usually expect the staff to at least try to do something about.

Author:  Sunglass [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

MaryR wrote:
Yes, but Nina is very unhappy - grieving - and Hilda goes out of her way to find the right words to help, Emma. You all seem to be saying that no one helps the girls in their unhappinesses and I would agree to some extent - though there was a lot of stiff upper lip attitude in life in general at that point - but I just felt that the other side needed to be pointed out a little. :lol: :lol:


Actually, I think that's a good example of a place where Hilda deals very well with the initial reception of a problem new girl, and makes her feel her music is taken seriously etc, but then is later shown not to be able to get through to her after the Hilda Jukes leapfrog incident, when she's furious and miserable because she fears for her playing. But Joey, with her greater understanding of how narrowly-focused someone brilliantly talented can be, is able to understand and get through where Hilda can't. Which seems to me perfectly realistic and well handled on EBD's part - there's a reason that Joey the writer can understand Nina the musician, where Hilda the teacher can't, so it makes a lot of sense. And we do see the CS trying to help and failing for a reason, which is fair enough, just as it's clear why Joey is able to help.

I'd see the later situations where the staff are made to look either callous or inept so as to leave a situation to be resolved by Joey or Mary-Lou as a bit different. The one that always comes to mind for me is in Challenge where an experienced, compassionate mistress like Miss Wilmot simply cannot cope with Evelyn Ross's distress at finding her mother is worse and, with a rather helpless mention of Joey (who is away) simply sends her back into lessons 'to take her mind off things'. It's obviously so that Mary-Lou can come and save the day, but it does seem a pity to make an admirable mistress like Miss Wilmot act so out of character!

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Though Miss Wilmot was trying to be a headmistress for the first time at that stage, which might have meant that she was just too stressed to be able to think of anything else to do with her. But maybe she could have been sent to the staffroom, or Matey or something; though I do wonder whether with anyone else the lack of special treatment would have helped them to accept it. To me, if someone made a big deal of it it would upset me more than if they were just a little bit more sensitive but otherwise treated me normally - that could just be me though!

Author:  JB [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Quote:
I'd see the later situations where the staff are made to look either callous or inept so as to leave a situation to be resolved by Joey or Mary-Lou as a bit different


I agree with Sunglass about the difference between the Nina situation and the later ones. There are some instances later on when the staff are incapable of handling perfectly normal misbehaviour. This is from Prefects when the middles are asking for motor boats:

Quote:
Nancy nodded. “Excellent scheme! Joey knows girls inside out and she might be able to give us some tips about how to deal with a demon like Jocelyn. She’s had experience enough, goodness knows! Look at the time they had with young Margot when she was a Middle!”


I just don't see how Joey has more experience of dealing with naughty middles than the entire CS staff. :?

Author:  MaryR [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

JB wrote:
Quote:
I just don't see how Joey has more experience of dealing with naughty middles than the entire CS staff. :?

That's where EBD went wildly wrong, making Joey the comforter and all-round pick-me-up. Joey HASN'T the experience, tho maybe the compassion, whereas EBD created a Headmistress with so much wisdom and understanding that of course she could have handled all these things, if allowed - like Nell handled Jacynth to perfection. But Joey marches in and all is well. :banghead:

Me? :shock: Partisan? :shock: Perish the thought! :roll: But I guess ND answers that question for me. :halo:

Author:  Alison H [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I agree, Mary! Hilda, Nell, Rosalie and most of the other staff seem to take the view that consulting Joey is the way to deal with any difficult pupils. Joey is an author, not a teacher or a child psychologist - why on earth should she be better equipped to deal with school-related problems than people with years of experience in working at a school?

I wonder how much of it got back to Madge, and how impressed or otherwise she was at the fact that the people she paid to run the school kept going off to ask advice from someone else :lol: . I'd quite like to've seen Joey say "Look, I've got my own job to do and a home to run - can't you sort the school's problems out yourselves for once?" :lol: .

Author:  Nightwing [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Alison H wrote:
I wonder how much of it got back to Madge, and how impressed or otherwise she was at the fact that the people she paid to run the school kept going off to ask advice from someone else :lol: . I'd quite like to've seen Joey say "Look, I've got my own job to do and a home to run - can't you sort the school's problems out yourselves for once?" :lol: .


*sprinkles bunny food*

Beyond that - I'd actually have liked to see more cases of other girls helping those with problems to figure them out. Serious things - Joan Baker's problems on arrival, and Margot's temper/blackmail - should definitely go the the Head, and Odette's misery should have been dealt with by staff (not necessarily the Head), but I wish more girls had been given the chance to help out others, beyond OOAO and Len.

There's a really nice bit in Genius where Nina find the poem that Francie is learning to be inspiration, and Francie is so intrigued that she gets over her bad mood completely - helping Francie might have been quite incidental on Nina's part, but it's such a nice change from the usual method of solving problems!

Author:  Cosimo's Jackal [ Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Sunglass wrote:
But Joey, with her greater understanding of how narrowly-focused someone brilliantly talented can be, is able to understand and get through where Hilda can't. Which seems to me perfectly realistic and well handled on EBD's part - there's a reason that Joey the writer can understand Nina the musician, where Hilda the teacher can't, so it makes a lot of sense.


But the bit that always interests me with Joey's intervention in Genius is that, for once, we don't see it - Nina goes to tea with her and comes back chastened and ready to apologise to Hilda, but we are never told what Joey said, which is unusual, given that we nearly always follow new girls to Freudesheim. What we do get to see is Joey explaining what lies behind the apparent selfishness of genius to Mary-Lou - which is fair enough, as Mary-Lou is intelligent and receptive to new ideas - but what on earth might Joey have said to Nina herself that worked?

I'd have said it was much tougher to try to make a completely single-minded 'genius' see outside the bounds of her own gift, and Joey, for all her talent, has surely always been too gregarious, too normal, too family-focused, to be able to empathise with someone essentially solitary and driven, from her own life experience...?

Author:  Catherine [ Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Joey's talk with Nina was described in Fete, I think. I don't have the book anymore but I think it was something along the lines of getting Nina looking at the mountains and realising how small and insignificant a lot of things are compared to them.

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Fri Jan 08, 2010 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

And the thing about Joey is that she has the opportunity to connect and talk to girls differently to the staff - can't think which book, though I think it's in England, but there's the time she gets someone to help her pluck a chicken to make a point. It's the sort of thing that a teacher just couldn't do for a pupil! And of course there will always be a teacher/pupil dynamic if any of the staff try to help. I don't say that EBD doesn't sometimes bend over backwards to make the staff seem weird for not interfering, just so Joey can step in, but I can see that there are some situations where Joey will be the best option.

Author:  hac61 [ Fri Jan 08, 2010 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

ChubbyMonkey wrote:
And the thing about Joey is that she has the opportunity to connect and talk to girls differently to the staff - can't think which book, though I think it's in England, but there's the time she gets someone to help her pluck a chicken to make a point. It's the sort of thing that a teacher just couldn't do for a pupil! And of course there will always be a teacher/pupil dynamic if any of the staff try to help.


Boarding schools these days are required to have some-one outside the teaching environment that pupils can go to, a Counsellor most of them call it.

Maybe Joey was just a fore-runner of that.

Author:  claire [ Sat Jan 09, 2010 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

ChubbyMonkey wrote:
can't think which book, though I think it's in England, but there's the time she gets someone to help her pluck a chicken to make a point.


It's in Peggy with Eilunedd isn't it (words being like chicken feathers and not being able to get them back once you've said them)

Author:  Cel [ Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

claire wrote:
ChubbyMonkey wrote:
can't think which book, though I think it's in England, but there's the time she gets someone to help her pluck a chicken to make a point.


It's in Peggy with Eilunedd isn't it (words being like chicken feathers and not being able to get them back once you've said them)


I've always disliked that bit - the lesson is so trite, like the modern parables you find in children's religion books. I can imagine Eilunedd being rightly ticked off once she realised that Joey had deliberately made her chase chicken feathers around the garden all afternoon :D

Author:  Cosimo's Jackal [ Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Cel wrote:
I've always disliked that bit - the lesson is so trite, like the modern parables you find in children's religion books. I can imagine Eilunedd being rightly ticked off once she realised that Joey had deliberately made her chase chicken feathers around the garden all afternoon :D


It always strikes me as just monumentally weird - it feels like a moment from a rather trite Enid Blyton story for younger children, rather than a CS book! For me, it's a real realism wobble. Are we honestly supposed to swallow the fact that Joey, a busy mother/author/part-time history teacher, hearing of Eilunedd's rumour-mongering, decides to have a chicken dinner, checks the state of the breeze, invites the girl in question to come over from an island to tea, and stage this whole feather-chasing parable? I'm also dubious about how Joey gets to be an expert chicken plucker! She learns cooking and cleaning from Frau Mieders at school - which might have includied gutting fowl etc., though I can't imagine it being a regular occurrence in lessons - and presumably does a certain amount around the house. But it takes a fair amount of practice to become as expert as EBD presents Joey as being, and I honestly can't imagine her regularly undertaking such a messy, time-consuming task when she's busy and has a full-time servant...

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Dare I say that I've always rather liked it, and thought it a far more interesting way of doing things than just sitting her down and telling her not to spread rumours?

Author:  MJKB [ Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Cosimo's Jackal wrote:

Post subject: Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ... Reply with quote
Cel wrote:
I've always disliked that bit - the lesson is so trite, like the modern parables you find in children's religion books. I can imagine Eilunedd being rightly ticked off once she realised that Joey had deliberately made her chase chicken feathers around the garden all afternoon :D


I didn't like this either. Imagine how one would feel when light dawned - pretty humiliated, I'm sure. I always prefer direct methods especially when dealing with someone on a one to one.
As regards the title to the thread, I too agree that it places a burdon of responsiibitly on a child for her own happiness that is not age appropriate. If she suffers from homesickness, for example, which would be natural for most, she would then find it hard to confide in any of the staff as she would feel it was her own fault.

Author:  Mel [ Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

It's also a bit of a nasty trick to play on Eilunned who genuinely thinks its an invitation to tea and is pleased. Invitations to Joey's are like Golden Tickets once you are no longer a new girl or Family (or ML). Yes, Mr Pink-Whistle appearing from inside a toadstool would be appropriate!

Author:  Tor [ Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I never really liked the chicken feather scene either. Triteness aside, I can't think of a better way to fill the poor girl with despair at being able to make restitution/good, and thus scupper any attempt on her part to do so. It would take a person with a lot of moral character to square up to a task that had just been pointed out as near on impossible!

back to the original post - that sentence reminds me of one the wise sayings of a friend's grandpa. He has many (mostly not suitable for polite company), but this is a good one, and I use it as my mantra on stressful group/family holidays:

'Everybody is responsible for their own good time'. It stops Len-like worry worts (me) from trying to make everyone else happy, failing, and then geting snotty about not being appreciated for trying; and it puts the emphasis on the grumps to srt themselves out.

still, not the most sensitive thing to say to a new grirl. Quite threatenig, actually! :D :twisted:

Author:  Nightwing [ Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Actually, I think when I was at high school our pastor related the same "feathers" story to us re: gossip and spreading rumours. She might have been a CS reader, of course, but I suspect that it's a parable that has been around for a while, and EBD borrowed it to teach Eilnuedd a lesson.

Author:  Miriam [ Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Jo's chicken plucking skills may have been developed during WWII. They kept chickens, and probably ate one every so often. Anna was the only servant at the time, so Jo would have done more in the house than she did at a later date - chicken plucking could have been one of her jobs.

Author:  cestina [ Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Nightwing wrote:
Actually, I think when I was at high school our pastor related the same "feathers" story to us re: gossip and spreading rumours. She might have been a CS reader, of course, but I suspect that it's a parable that has been around for a while, and EBD borrowed it to teach Eilnuedd a lesson.


This story seems to go a long way back - I googled "Words are like feathers" and came up with a number of hits including this rather nice story from the website of the Jewish Federations of North America:

Judaism considers slander and gossip cardinal sins. The Rabbis of the Talmud tell us that when we slander a fellow human being, we literally slay him, for when we deprive him of his good name, it is as if we deprive him of his life........

A Hasidic tale tells of a man who committed the sin of slander and could find no peace until he apologized to the man whom he had wronged. Fearful that he might once again be tempted to slander, he went to his Rabbi, confessed his wrongdoing and asked how he could prevent himself from ever again committing such a sin. The Rabbi told him to carry a sack of feathers through the village and place one feather upon every doorstep he passed. This the man did. Then the Rabbi said, "Now go back with your empty sack and pick up every single feather that you have placed upon those doorsteps." A few hours later, the man returned.

"It is impossible," he told the Rabbi. I could not find a single feather. The wind has blown them all away."

"Words are like feathers," said the Rabbi. "Unkind words are easily dropped but, once they leave the mouth, they can never be retrieved."

Three times a day the pious Jew concludes his prayers of silent devotion with these words: "O Lord, guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking guile. And to those who slander me, let me give no heed. May my soul be humble and forgiving unto all."


I've always rather liked the way Joey uses it.....

Author:  Karry [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I proof and anglicise a daily devotional booklet that goes to around 1 million people, and the author has used this analogy a couple of times, and I always chuckle and wonder whether HE read EBD as a child!
Quote:
I've always disliked that bit - the lesson is so trite, like the modern parables you find in children's religion books. I can imagine Eilunedd being rightly ticked off once she realised that Joey had deliberately made her chase chicken feathers around the garden all afternoon


Author:  Mrs Redboots [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

I've used it in a sermon! Only I don't know how you pronounce "Eiluned", so had to change her name to "Eileen".

Author:  Nightwing [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

That was a lovely sermon, Mrs Redboots - thanks for sharing!

Author:  ChubbyMonkey [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

That was a very thought provoking sermon.

Author:  cal562301 [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Mrs Redboots wrote:
I've used it in a sermon! Only I don't know how you pronounce "Eiluned", so had to change her name to "Eileen".


We had a Welsh girl join our organisation, whose name is Eluned (which I guess to be a variant spelling of the above).

The nearest I can get to how she said it was pronounced was: Ell-ee-ned, with the stress on the second syllable. But if we have a Welsh speaker on the board, (s)he could probably be more accurate.

ETA Thank you for a thought-provoking sermon.

Author:  Joey [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

cal562301 wrote:
The nearest I can get to how she said it was pronounced was: Ell-ee-ned, with the stress on the second syllable. But if we have a Welsh speaker on the board, (s)he could probably be more accurate.


With that pronunciation she must have been from North Wales! I pronounce the name El-in-ed, stress on the penultimate syllable. And I've always assumed EBD mis-spelled it, as I have only seen it spelt Eluned elsewhere. It's not a very common name.

Author:  cal562301 [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Joey wrote:
cal562301 wrote:
The nearest I can get to how she said it was pronounced was: Ell-ee-ned, with the stress on the second syllable. But if we have a Welsh speaker on the board, (s)he could probably be more accurate.


With that pronunciation she must have been from North Wales! I pronounce the name El-in-ed, stress on the penultimate syllable. And I've always assumed EBD mis-spelled it, as I have only seen it spelt Eluned elsewhere. It's not a very common name.


How accurate you are indeed! Eluned grew up in Wrexham, though she has moved around quite a bit since then. I guess childhood pronunciations stay with you, especially when it's your name.

Author:  MHE [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Joey wrote:
cal562301 wrote:
The nearest I can get to how she said it was pronounced was: Ell-ee-ned, with the stress on the second syllable. But if we have a Welsh speaker on the board, (s)he could probably be more accurate.


With that pronunciation she must have been from North Wales! I pronounce the name El-in-ed, stress on the penultimate syllable. And I've always assumed EBD mis-spelled it, as I have only seen it spelt Eluned elsewhere. It's not a very common name.


As a first language Welsh speaker I agree with you Joey as regards the pronunciation of Eluned, however round here it is a very common name. In fact I know Eluned's from both north and south Wales not to mention mid Wales.

Author:  Rosie [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Oh crumbs, is 'u' another difference to remember between North and South Walian Welsh? I learned it entirely in the North, but am constantly being corrected by my South Walian friends! I'd definitely have said Ell-ee-ned!

Author:  MHE [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

It not a differnce as such just a matter of how it's pronounced.

The letter is known as an 'u bedol' (pedol being the Welsh for horseshoe) as opposed to an 'i dot'.

It is the one letter that is a dead give away as to whether one is from north or south Wales. However I do use both pronunciations - it all depends who I'm speaking to :)

Author:  Joey [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

MHE wrote:
As a first language Welsh speaker I agree with you Joey as regards the pronunciation of Eluned, however round here it is a very common name. In fact I know Eluned's from both north and south Wales not to mention mid Wales.


That's interesting, Menna! As you know, I grew up not that far from where you live, went to Welsh-medium shcools, and I still know a lot of people in the area. I have never met anyone called Eluned, hence my assertion that it's uncommon! Another example of different people's experience of names.

And it's a dead giveaway that you're a Mid Walian that you can get away with both pronunciations of "u bedol". I can't say it the way they do in North Wales, and I speak fluently.

Author:  Llywela [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

First post on this forum, so hello everyone. :)

re: the Eilunedd thing, it does look a lot like a bit of a mismatch - I've known a few Elins, and am fairly sure that Eluned is a real Welsh name, so perhaps the double d has been added to make it look more authentically Welsh and 'different', ditto the Ei at the beginning, in line with names like Eira or Eirlys.

As a South Walian, I would pronounce the Ei either as eye or ay (as in hay), while the dd at the end is pronounced as th in that or then (never as in thing). So Eilunedd would be pronounced Eye-lin-eth or Ay-lin-eth.

For whatever that's worth!

As for the topic of this thread, 'if you aren't happy here it will be your own fault' is also said by Robin in Highland Twins (or words to the same effect), to the twins shortly after their arrival.

Author:  MHE [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Llywela wrote:
First post on this forum, so hello everyone. :)

and am fairly sure that Eluned is a real Welsh name,


Oh it's a proper Welsh name right enough Llywela, she was a 5th century saint from Brecon. One of the 24 daughters of King Brychan, of Brycheiniog.

Welcome to the CBB :)

Author:  Joey [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Croeso, Llywela!

I have always assumed that Eilunedd is a spelling mistake. Eiluned could well be a legitimate variation of Eluned, but the "d" has obviously been doubled by someon who thinks that makes it look more Welsh, without realising that in Welsh, as you say, double-d is pronounced like the sound at the beginning of "the". So I'm pretty sure that EBD meant the name to be Eluned.

Author:  julieanne1811 [ Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

In which circumstances is this said? In School At, this is said of Juliette:

Quote:
'I thought she looked dreadfully unhappy,' replied Grizel... 'And how funny to have fair hair with those dark eyes!' 'Do you think so?' asked Bernhilda. 'There are a great number of people living in Wien who are like that. But as for unhappy, she did not do as she was told.'


Then in another book (?title), when Joey stands at the door without a coat on and subsequently gets a chill. SHe's lying in bed and says, 'it was all my own fault'.

Elinor seems to be saying that if you are unhappy or ill, it is often your own thought (as has been noted in several posts on this thread). I just wonder in what other situations someone admits 'it's all my own fault', and is it then possible to say that Elinor believed that one's fate was, to a degree, in one's own hands?

Author:  Loryat [ Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Apparently it was Lydia Maynard's fault that her son died - I wish I knew in what way!

Author:  Mia [ Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If you're not happy here it will be your own fault ...

Mrs Redboots wrote:
I've used it in a sermon! Only I don't know how you pronounce "Eiluned", so had to change her name to "Eileen".


That paediatrician was a woman, actually, not a man.

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